My Turtle is Trying to Fuck My Phone

[DarkHippie]

I moved into a new apartment in december, and Shelvin's tank is right next to the shelf where I keep my cell phone. Now that he is coming out of his hibernation, I noticed that he has been pecking at his tank much more often. At first I thought that it was just hunger, but then I noticed that he was pecking exactly where my phone was.

When the phone is upside down, it looks a lot like a turtle shell.

My turtle wants to fuck my phone.

[SonOfSmeagol]

in his mind he IS fucking the phone. let him have that, won't you!?

[Kevin]

I moved into a new apartment in december, and Shelvin's tank is right next to the shelf where I keep my cell phone. Now that he is coming out of his hibernation, I noticed that he has been pecking at his tank much more often. At first I thought that it was just hunger, but then I noticed that he was pecking exactly where my phone was.

When the phone is upside down, it looks a lot like a turtle shell.

My turtle wants to fuck my phone.

Please do not share this story at any of your book signings or anything with your publishers..

It might turn into a terrible Seth Macfarlane movie or cartoon!

[DarkHippie]

Please do not share this story at any of your book signings or anything with your publishers..

It might turn into a terrible Seth Macfarlane movie or cartoon!

"Rob Shneider is ... a turtle! And he's about to find out, how hard it is for a turtle to come out of his shell. Coming this Spring, it's "Horny Turtle!""

[deliciousV]

he just wants to move his digit into the digital age......oh yeah, gimme those digits

[razorboy]

I don't blame him.

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web04/2010/2/18/16/microsoft-turtle-phone-20439-1266526842-201.jpg

[Kevin]

"Rob Shneider is ... a turtle! And he's about to find out, how hard it is for a turtle to come out of his shell. Coming this Spring, it's "Horny Turtle!""

God, thats so awful that it just might happen!

[jennysmurf]

That phone was asking for it. Sitting there looking all sexy and turtleish.

[razorboy]

I've given it some thought and decided you should sacrifice your phone for your turtle's happiness. You should probably take the battery out first.

[Kevin]

I've given it some thought and decided you should sacrifice your phone for your turtle's happiness. You should probably take the battery out first.

Is it covered under your phone insurance?

Reason for damage.

Turtle rape...

I think it might be....

[KnoxHarrington]

That slutty phone is totally leading him on.

[deliciousV]

I've given it some thought and decided you should sacrifice your phone for your turtle's happiness. You should probably take the battery out first.

fuck that, you gotta bring in a girl turtle! He’s a turtle, he’s in New York; we get this guy laid.

[Chigworthy]

You keep your phone on a shelf? How old are you?

[PapaBear]

You keep your phone on a shelf? How old are you?
How is that an indication of age?

[PapaBear]

http://www.maniacworld.com/i-like-turtles.jpg

I like turtle phone sex.

[A.J.]

Your phone has had more action than Fez.

[disneyspy]

just wave your hand in front of the turtle and say "this is not the droid you are you looking for"

[disneyspy]

hee hee...phone sex

[DarkHippie]

just wave your hand in front of the turtle and say "this is not the droid you are you looking for"

The blacker the Blackberry, the sweeter the juice

[boobieman]

I moved into a new apartment in december, and Shelvin's tank is right next to the shelf where I keep my cell phone. Now that he is coming out of his hibernation, I noticed that he has been pecking at his tank much more often. At first I thought that it was just hunger, but then I noticed that he was pecking exactly where my phone was.

When the phone is upside down, it looks a lot like a turtle shell.

My turtle wants to fuck my phone.

This what the book is about..odd...I say leave your phone and let the turtle have some fun...just make sure you wipe off the mouth piece, don't want to taste turtle Jizz...JIZZ TIME

SEYEYAYAYA