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Mormonism: America's Religion [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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DarkHippie
02-08-2002, 09:27 AM
Since the winter olympics are being held in salt lake city, the mecca of mormonism, i thought that i'd like to share a bit of enlightenment on it.

mormonism is America's religion, in so many wonderful ways. It is the only religion that started in the United states (upstate ny). Yes, my friends, this is what we have brought to the theological table.

Persecuted for their ways (and for being right, of course), they, like the pilgrims before them, pushed ever westward. What pioneers! they opened up the old west for our ancestors, so that they could live in peace. They found their home in Utah, and guarded it well, even from the US Army. Now, if giving an f-u to authority isn't american, i don't know what is.

Even today, they are completely misunderstood, just like america is by the rest of the world, and all because they, and we, are different. So how did they combat this? Advertising, of course! No other religion can claim such catchy jingles as "the never tell a lie" song and many others. just like america, they market themselves to the rest of the world.

and it has finally, finally, finally paid off. Despite allegations of bribery , they will host the winter olympics and show the world what america is all about: multiple wives for those in power, and banning caffiene.

John Smith would be proud.

this message brought to you by the Church of DarkHippie, and of Latter Day Free Thinkers


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Jackie Sloan
02-08-2002, 09:49 AM
Mormons yuccchhh! That multiple wife thing sounds wacky though...

"Guns don't kill people. The government does."

CovDiesel
02-08-2002, 10:06 AM
UM...Mormons aren't hosting the Olympics... Salt Lake City, Utah is.

There may be a lot of them there, but they certainly aren't hosting the Olympics in Mormonville, Utah.

Come on.... The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints... why can't we just worship Christ?

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Bron Yur Stomp
02-08-2002, 10:22 AM
And who in their right mind want more than one wife. Christ one is enough to drive you to drink, go bald and get ulcers.Would you want to be around when your 4 wives are raggn' I think not. Besides if they are american women, they couldnt cook, so the ordering out bills would be a small nations gnp. That unless you want to live off of tv dinners and mac and cheese

Powdered Toast Man!

Se7en
02-08-2002, 10:40 AM
See, now the whole marriage thing is what kills it for me. If it was just a harem of women as my personal love slaves, than I'm all over it.

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IkeaBoy
02-08-2002, 11:49 AM
we all know that mormonism is the one true faith, they're the only ones who get into heaven...at least until someone calls in a favour.

[/quote]
"My review of 2001 the year is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey- overlong, hard to follow, and only enjoyable if you're really really stoned." - Lewis Black
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This message was edited by IkeaBoy on 2-8-02 @ 3:50 PM

DarkHippie
02-08-2002, 01:10 PM
i guess someone needed to inhabit Utah.

i used to love their commercials as a kid. i would get up and dance

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The Blowhard
02-08-2002, 02:40 PM
Let's not get into "religion bashing" threads. I'm sure there are no Mormons on the board, but bashing any religion can lead to trouble.

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