When should you call to confirm a date?

[Melrapuo]

So I set up a date last week with an old ex from years ago that I haven't spoken to in over 3 years. I figured, since my last break up, it was at least a good start to get some needed practice back into dating. Plus, if this leads anywhere (Friends with Benefits) or even a relationship (though I'm not rushing that idea at the moment) that would be nice too.

So I set up this date last Wednesday, before New Years, for tomorrow (Friday). Its a lengthy amount of time to wait for a date, but the holidays kinda ruined things, and I'm not good with timing :p

We spoke a lot that week, but this week its been rather scarce in terms of conversation. Last time we spoke was Sunday. I texted her yesterday to see how her day was, but never got a response back.

My question is, should I call her tonight just to confirm that we're still on for tomorrow, or just call her an hour before and let her know what time I'm picking her up? I'm not sure if she's gonna flake on me or not, but I figured calling would help confirm that instead of me buying a meal and then getting denied.

**Just to throw in ideas, last week she had hinted on hanging out (going to a park, inviting me to a party). I declined a couple of those. When I asked to hang out at her party on New Years, she said that the guy running it didn't have enough room. I've been looking for signs, but texts never really give a definite impression of whats going on.**

[CountryBob]

Call her today - and just say "hey, just wanted to confirm that we are getting together this Friday" loking forward to it etc... you get the drift.

You are an adult - no time to play games anymore.

Call her, find out and enjoy

[disneyspy]

http://youcallthatamovie.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/say-anything-john-cusack-as-lloyd-dobler.jpg

[Dude!]

why did she become an "ex"
in the first place?

there was a reason
and it's still there

[Crispy123]

Send another text. Tell her, not ask, to call you about the date. Make it short and direct. If she calls great, if not move on.

[disneyspy]

text her "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNT"

[Melrapuo]

that would be more of a "i HAVE smelled" as opposed to I can :P

[Melrapuo]

Just got a text from her. She said work was really busy yesterday, but she said she's gotta talk to me when she gets out of work today.

Fuck.

[Crispy123]

Just got a text from her. She said work was really busy yesterday, but she said she's gotta talk to me when she gets out of work today.

Fuck.

Great!!!

Unless she calls and says she got herpes at that NYE party.

[Melrapuo]

That text is a good thing? I'm interpretting it as her being about to tell me she's not gonna do this, she likes someone else, etc.

[ozzie]

Did you start seeing the shrink you talked about?

Just wondering how he/she would feel about you trying to re-connect with an ex, after taking the last breakup so hard.

It seemed like you had a hard time letting this last one go, and now this kinda seems like you never let this other ex go either.

Just my opinion, but it sounds like you might need to find some new pussy.

[Crispy123]

That text is a good thing? I'm interpretting it as her being about to tell me she's not gonna do this, she likes someone else, etc.

You won't know for sure until you talk to her. I was just fuckin around, don't assume negative, think positive budday!!!

[Melrapuo]

Did you start seeing the shrink you talked about?

Just wondering how he/she would feel about you trying to re-connect with an ex, after taking the last breakup so hard.

It seemed like you had a hard time letting this last one go, and now this kinda seems like you never let this other ex go either.

Just my opinion, but it sounds like you might need to find some new pussy.

Yea I did, he said that he didn't think it was a bad idea but to just take it as a meeting up, not a date. See where it goes from there.

At the moment, there are zero prospects for new pussy. This was just my first idea. Ugh...

[ozzie]

Yea I did, he said that he didn't think it was a bad idea but to just take it as a meeting up, not a date. See where it goes from there.

At the moment, there are zero prospects for new pussy. This was just my first idea. Ugh...

Hey, if it's all in fun, and makes you happy... Cool.

Hope it works out for you.

Not sure how I'd take that text though... usually when a chick says "I need to talk to you", it's not a good sign.

[Melrapuo]

Hey, if it's all in fun, and makes you happy... Cool.

Hope it works out for you.

Not sure how I'd take that text though... usually when a chick says "I need to talk to you", it's not a good sign.

Yea its not the first time I've heard that line. Last night she apparently changed her profile pic to her and some other guy she knows...I'm pretty sure I know whats coming. Not sure how I'm gonna handle it though.

[disneyspy]

Yea its not the first time I've heard that line. Last night she apparently changed her profile pic to her and some other guy she knows...I'm pretty sure I know whats coming. Not sure how I'm gonna handle it though.

she's just trying to make you alittle jealous so you'll be nicer to her and drop some meat in her,the whore

[ozzie]

Yea its not the first time I've heard that line. Last night she apparently changed her profile pic to her and some other guy she knows...I'm pretty sure I know whats coming. Not sure how I'm gonna handle it though.

It's like what Mike Damone told Rat... it's all about the attitude.

"The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude."

Cocky and funny are your weapons. Stay loose, and roll with whatever she throws at you.

[jennysmurf]

she's just trying to make you alittle jealous so you'll be nicer to her and drop some meat in her,the whore

I absolutely LOVE the fact that I'm the one to remind you of the forum. Stop fooling around! And Mel--if you don't mind them fooling around, maybe start it in another forum so that they won't get mod-smacked.

[disneyspy]

I absolutely LOVE the fact that I'm the one to remind you of the forum. Stop fooling around! And Mel--if you don't mind them fooling around, maybe start it in another forum so that they won't get mod-smacked.

you're not the forum mod so you cant tell me shit

[TripleSkeet]

I've been looking for signs, but texts never really give a definite impression of whats going on.**

Shes given you signs. Youve seen them yet failed to recognize them...

1. She didnt return your text
2. She said her friend "didnt have enough room" for you at his party
3. She changed her FB profile picture to her with a guy thats not a relative
4. She said shes gotta talk to you

Theres nothing there cuz. Time to move on.

Im betting the call to today will be her saying at first she thought about going out again but thought more about it this week and thinks you guys broke up before for a reason and doesnt think its a good idea now. Which by the way also means shes fucking that guy she put in her profile picture.

Do yourself a favor and save some of your dignity by answering with her with "Ok, no big deal. Talk to you later." and hanging up the phone before your voice starts to crack and you start crying.

[Snoogans]

I have just 1 questions. If you actually did wanna hang with her, maybe hook up, whatever. Why the fuck did you tell her no the times she asked you to hang out last week? The sign last week was available, come in. You walked past the store and never went in. Now its closed. Gotta find a new store

[Melrapuo]

Honestly? Didn't wanna come off as too pushy. Although I guess a date is pushy enough :P Wasn't thinking, tbh

[Melrapuo]

Shes given you signs. Youve seen them yet failed to recognize them...

1. She didnt return your text
2. She said her friend "didnt have enough room" for you at his party
3. She changed her FB profile picture to her with a guy thats not a relative
4. She said shes gotta talk to you

Theres nothing there cuz. Time to move on.

Im betting the call to today will be her saying at first she thought about going out again but thought more about it this week and thinks you guys broke up before for a reason and doesnt think its a good idea now. Which by the way also means shes fucking that guy she put in her profile picture.

Do yourself a favor and save some of your dignity by answering with her with "Ok, no big deal. Talk to you later." and hanging up the phone before your voice starts to crack and you start crying.

No no, I recognized them. My tendency is to always see things for their negatives, but I always kept hope in mind when wanting things to work out. Its not that I didn't see them - I just felt that I always go for the worst case scenario. Its not the best way of thinking, but unfortunately it hasn't lied to me either.


/sigh...this has been a really tough 3 weeks.

[Snoogans]

No no, I recognized them. My tendency is to always see things for their negatives, but I always kept hope in mind when wanting things to work out. Its not that I didn't see them - I just felt that I always go for the worst case scenario. Its not the best way of thinking, but unfortunately it hasn't lied to me either.


/sigh...this has been a really tough 3 weeks.

go buy a whore. or pick up some easy whore at a bar. Do something to get yourself some confidence. Dont go after an ex. that shit never works. As a few people already said here. It is ex cause it didnt work

[CountryBob]

Good idea to not date any ex's - go get some fresh.

[cougarjake13]

Did she call yet?

[Melrapuo]

She works until 7pm, at least. Sometimes 7:30 (she still has the same job from years ago, and she confirmed with me that her hours haven't changed.)

[Snoogans]

She works until 7pm, at least. Sometimes 7:30 (she still has the same job from years ago, and she confirmed with me that her hours haven't changed.)

i think maybe, it would help you to loosen up some. who says this? I called my buddy and he confirmed with me that he was available to go to this bar this evening.

NO. I called my buddy and he was down to go out. Boom. I dont know whether this has any effect with women, but you come off on here as kinda stiff

[Melrapuo]

i think maybe, it would help you to loosen up some. who says this? I called my buddy and he confirmed with me that he was available to go to this bar this evening.

NO. I called my buddy and he was down to go out. Boom. I dont know whether this has any effect with women, but you come off on here as kinda stiff

Stiff because of how I worded it, or cuz I just knew that info? When I went and got coffee with her, she told me about how she still works the same ol job, same ol hours, thats all

[Snoogans]

Stiff because of how I worded it, or cuz I just knew that info? When I went and got coffee with her, she told me about how she still works the same ol job, same ol hours, thats all

how you worded it. if you actually talk like that, it would seem kinda weird to me.

[ozzie]

you come off on here as kinda stiff

I don't want to get bitch slapped by jennysmurf in this forum, so I'm going to just let this go.

[Melrapuo]

how you worded it. if you actually talk like that, it would seem kinda weird to me.

nah when i type online i use the best wording possible to just get my point across. IRL i talk completely different.

[Snoogans]

nah when i type online i use the best wording possible to just get my point across. IRL i talk completely different.

i would have comments for this but im not allowed in here. if you dont mind us joking while giving you advice, post this in like the lounge next time or something

[Melrapuo]

I've got no problems with jokes at all. Anything to make me laugh (even self-deprecating humor)

[Melrapuo]

Would this thread be able to be moved to the lounge? If not I'll just start a new one since its been suggested.

[jennysmurf]

I don't want to get bitch slapped by jennysmurf in this forum, so I'm going to just let this go.

I'm watching you, buddy.:annoyed:

[Melrapuo]

Continuing the thread from the other forum...

[CountryBob]

Why, is this so peolpe can rib and poke fun?

[Snoogans]

yea basically, but it killed the steam cause we dont have all the other posts. you shoulda just waited and had a mod move it over to the lounge as was

[CountryBob]

Merge Please - tomato - toe maaaato

[Dude!]

I dont know whether this has any effect with women, but you come off on here as kinda stiff

so he's losing this gal
for being too stiff

but he lost the last one
for not being stiff enough

the poor schlep just
can't cut a break!

[Snoogans]

so he's losing this gal
for being too stiff

but he lost the last one
for not being stiff enough

the poor schlep just
can't cut a break!

being a stiff and having a backbone are far different.

[ozzie]

so he's losing this gal
for being too stiff

but he lost the last one
for not being stiff enough

the poor schlep just
can't cut a break!

Whew. Joke was made without having to risk the wrath of jennysmurf.


And to answer the original question... you NEVER "call to confirm a date".

That shows insecurity.

You call to tell her about the great shit that YOU have planned for y'all to do.

That's right. YOU plan it. And no matter where you go, or what you do, that is THE PLACE to be at that time.

Women don't want you to be "sensitive", or to be asked what they want to do.

They want to be with the guy who fucking KNOWS where the action is.

I don't care if your a broke ass just taking her for a walk through the park. You act like there is no better place in the world to be than with you, in that park, at that moment.

Seriously. Rent "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", and watch the Mike Damone scenes. The fucking guy was a real cocksman. He nailed Jennifer Jason Leigh, afterall.

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsL/10164-6092.gif

Check out the look in her eyes, man. To her, at that moment, fucking Mike Damone is THE man!

Ok, sure, they ended up spray painting "little prick" on his car. But so what? He scored, and moved on to the next one.



Ok, I'm kinda half kidding on all this Damone shit... but, c'mon man. Loosen up, and don't act like you have to find "the one" at your age, and don't take rejections so seriously.

[Snoogans]

Whew. Joke was made without having to risk the wrath of jennysmurf.


And to answer the original question... you NEVER "call to confirm a date".

That shows insecurity.

You call to tell her about the great shit that YOU have planned for y'all to do.

That's right. YOU plan it. And no matter where you go, or what you do, that is THE PLACE to be at that time.

Women don't want you to be "sensitive", or to be asked what they want to do.

They want to be with the guy who fucking KNOWS where the action is.

I don't care if your a broke ass just taking her for a walk through the park. You act like there is no better place in the world to be than with you, in that park, at that moment.

Seriously. Rent "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", and watch the Mike Damone scenes. The fucking guy was a real cocksman. He nailed Jennifer Jason Leigh, afterall.

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsL/10164-6092.gif

Check out the look in her eyes, man. To her, at that moment, fucking Mike Damone is THE man!

Ok, sure, they ended up spray painting "little prick" on his car. But so what? He scored, and moved on to the next one.



Ok, I'm kinda half kidding on all this Damone shit... but, c'mon man. Loosen up, and don't act like you have to find "the one" at your age, and don't take rejections so seriously.

In fairness, Damone was a cocksman when dealing with a talent pool under 21 years old. im pretty sure if you are like 30, and tryin to find someone for a relationship, you dont really wanna try that shit. I dont think its gonna pull in too many prospects.



the biggest advice is dont bend. Women want guys who do everything they ask for about a month. then it gets old and pathetic. Start the precedent early. be firm, put your foot down, let them know you arent a bitch. Dont be a douche, cause they get sick of that pretty quick too. you gotta find a middle ground, just giving enough, but just enough of a dick that it keeps them on their toes.

dont go overly hard and act like you are gonna plan the whole show, but dont sit there and let them plan the fuckin show either.

[ozzie]

In fairness, Damone was a cocksman when dealing with a talent pool under 21 years old. im pretty sure if you are like 30, and tryin to find someone for a relationship, you dont really wanna try that shit. I dont think its gonna pull in too many prospects.

Gotta disagree. I've yet to meet many available women of any age who aren't looking for the "Alpha Male", and the best way to establish that is to plan every detail of that first date, and seriously, follow through with acting like that is the place to be, and that you would be doing this with or without her there.

Taking her to a restaurant? Hell, you'd be eating there anyway, and it's the best place ever. She's lucky to be along for the ride. Even if it's a new place you've never been. "I'm going to check out this fabulous new McDonald's place everyone is talking about Friday night. Do you wanna join me?".

Thinking of asking her to go see a movie? You present it like there's a great movie that you are already going to see that night, and ask her if she wants to go with you. Don't be wishy washy and say "you wanna go see a movie sometime?". Hell no. You are going to THE movie on THIS night already.

Oh, she wants to go, but can't make it that night. "Hey, that's cool. I was going to go that night, but if you want, I can change it to Saturday (or whatever)".

Broke? "Man I love taking a walk around the park on Saturday mornings, and just feeding the ducks and shit. Helps me relax after a long week at work. Hey, you wanna come along with me sometime?"

Yeah, these are cheesy examples, but no matter what it is, it's best if it's your idea, and if you play it cool. It prepares you mentally better for the rejection, because in your mind, you're not missing out on any cool shit, and sitting home alone. If she says no, then it might just be someone else that gets the chance to join you now. This especially works if you're trying to pick up a chick who's out with her friends. I've had a #2 pick out of a gaggle of girls jump in and take me up on the offer that her friend just turned down.

[Snoogans]

Gotta disagree. I've yet to meet many available women of any age who aren't looking for the "Alpha Male", and the best way to establish that is to plan every detail of that first date, and seriously, follow through with acting like that is the place to be, and that you would be doing this with or without her there.

Taking her to a restaurant? Hell, you'd be eating there anyway, and it's the best place ever. She's lucky to be along for the ride. Even if it's a new place you've never been. "I'm going to check out this fabulous new McDonald's place everyone is talking about Friday night. Do you wanna join me?".

Thinking of asking her to go see a movie? You present it like there's a great movie that you are already going to see that night, and ask her if she wants to go with you. Don't be wishy washy and say "you wanna go see a movie sometime?". Hell no. You are going to THE movie on THIS night already.

Oh, she wants to go, but can't make it that night. "Hey, that's cool. I was going to go that night, but if you want, I can change it to Saturday (or whatever)".

Broke? "Man I love taking a walk around the park on Saturday mornings, and just feeding the ducks and shit. Helps me relax after a long week at work. Hey, you wanna come along with me sometime?"

Yeah, these are cheesy examples, but no matter what it is, it's best if it's your idea, and if you play it cool. It prepares you mentally better for the rejection, because in your mind, you're not missing out on any cool shit, and sitting home alone. If she says no, then it might just be someone else that gets the chance to join you now. This especially works if you're trying to pick up a chick who's out with her friends. I've had a #2 pick out of a gaggle of girls jump in and take me up on the offer that her friend just turned down.

again, you are just tryin to get in with that though. Im sayin, after a month or 2, they start to get mad and resent you always doing what "you want". That point was strickly for the prospects of a long term relationship. if you just want a girlfriend for awhile or something, then fine, yea that shit will work. this guy doesnt seem like he is just tryin to get a pick me up. he seemed like he was tryin to find a future

[ozzie]

again, you are just tryin to get in with that though. Im sayin, after a month or 2, they start to get mad and resent you always doing what "you want". That point was strickly for the prospects of a long term relationship. if you just want a girlfriend for awhile or something, then fine, yea that shit will work. this guy doesnt seem like he is just tryin to get a pick me up. he seemed like he was tryin to find a future

Yeah, no, I get it. And yep, that shit doesn't play for long, but by then you're already in the door, and have "established your presence with authority" ($1 to Nuke LaLoosh).

Sure, if you're looking long term, you gotta yeild sometimes, but you can't immediately stop the act and start being a pussy either. Then they realize they got played, and go back to looking for the real alpha male.

But don't underestimate a woman's mind. Most never forget that first date, or what initially attracted them to you. And if it was the "Alpha Male" shit, you can't ever completely let that go. They'll still want you to take control at times, and keep planning "dates" for them, even after you're married.

[Snoogans]

Yeah, no, I get it. And yep, that shit doesn't play for long, but by then you're already in the door, and have "established your presence with authority" ($1 to Nuke LaLoosh).

Sure, if you're looking long term, you gotta yeild sometimes, but you can't immediately stop the act and start being a pussy either. Then they realize they got played, and go back to looking for the real alpha male.

But don't underestimate a woman's mind. Most never forget that first date, or what initially attracted them to you. And if it was the "Alpha Male" shit, you can't ever completely let that go. They'll still want you to take control at times, and keep planning "dates" for them, even after you're married.

thats what i said after. you cant be too hard, but you cant let them do everything either. you gotta start laying lines right away, thats the only way it flies. you cant wait 3 months, then put your foot down on something, and think its gonna work.

Thats why i said you have to find that middle ground of being giving and also a dick.

[Furtherman]

Women must think threads like these are absolutely hilarious.

[Snoogans]

Women must think threads like these are absolutely hilarious.

please, as if there are women besides jenny reading this shit. and she only is cause its her job

[ozzie]

Women must think threads like these are absolutely hilarious.

I hope they read threads like this and realize all the bullshit men have to go through.

Bitches, man.

[Snoogans]

I hope they read threads like this and realize all the bullshit men have to go through.

Bitches, man.

seriously. my favorite is how they complain that men just wanna sit around and watch sports and do nothing. then they go home and sit around and watch reality shows and do nothing. Why am i a dick cause i wanna do the same fuckin thing as you?

[Sinestro]

7:31. What's the scoop?

[jennysmurf]

I love you all, but Snoogans is right. You've got to find a happy medium. I've had both types of guys around--the kind that won't plan anything, and won't make a move until you say something--and the kind that act like they don't need you around. The guys that act they're doing me a favor don't get past the first date, sometimes not past the first hour. I like a guy who can have fun on his own, doing his own thing, but lets you know that he can't have the most fun unless you're around. I think you need to make you're own life for a while and THEN find someone to share it.

[Melrapuo]

Still no call. I'm getting annoyed now. Not that I'm gonna call her, but wtf. This is starting to get old.

[Melrapuo]

And I'm loving this thread. Jeez I've started two threads in two weeks that have gone up to three pages. Popularity ;)

[Snoogans]

Still no call. I'm getting annoyed now. Not that I'm gonna call her, but wtf. This is starting to get old.

actually if she doesnt call, i think you should eventually call her, if only to voice your displeasure for her not calling. especially if she is the type to normally call when she says. Dont call to grovel, but dont just let it go. let her know she is a bitch if she doesnt call you back

[disneyspy]

what could she be doing? better go peek in her windows and find out

[Melrapuo]

This shit is making me remember why I stopped talking to her in the first place

[Snoogans]

This shit is making me remember why I stopped talking to her in the first place

which is what we told you. Just call her, and tell her thanks but no thanks, im not gonna waste my time on you again. If she doesnt answer, leave it on VM and be done with it


and never forget the lesson. DO NOT GO BACK TO AN EX. ITS AN EX FOR A REASON

[Dude!]

actually if she doesnt call, i think you should eventually call her, if only to voice your displeasure for her not calling. especially if she is the type to normally call when she says. Dont call to grovel, but dont just let it go. let her know she is a bitch if she doesnt call you back

that is horrible advice

she will spend the next days
dreading and avoiding
his phone call

when he doesn't call
she'll actually feel let down

do not call!

[Snoogans]

that is horrible advice

she will spend the next days
dreading and avoiding
his phone call

when he doesn't call
she'll actually feel let down

do not call!

no, thats what you would do. she probably already forgot she was supposed to call him. thats the whole point. she isnt dreading shit, its not even on her mind.

You know nothing

[disneyspy]

a few trips around her block couldnt hurt

[Dude!]

no, thats what you would do. she probably already forgot she was supposed to call him. thats the whole point. she isnt dreading shit, its not even on her mind.

it is on her mind mcleurty

she said 'she needed to speak to him'
and that means she DOESN'T
want to speak to him

you know less than nothing

[Snoogans]

it is on her mind mcleurty

she said 'she needed to speak to him'
and that means she DOESN'T
want to speak with him

you know less than nothing

she needed to speak to him so bad she forgot to call. Dude, its a woman. They arent gonna not call cause they are scared of hurting a guy, esp an ex who they hadnt even gotten back involved with yet. She doesnt give a fuck about his feelings or she wouldnt have jerked him around like that.

[Dude!]

She doesnt give a fuck about his feelings

that is correct and a reason
why he shouldn't call her

it makes him look like he
really, really cares and

no man should look that desperate

[Snoogans]

that is correct and a reason
why he shouldn't call her

it makes him look like he
really, really cares and

no man should look that desperate

if he calls to grovel. if he calls and just blasts off, its fine. besides, you get a chance to tell one of your ex girlfriends to fuck off again, you fuckin take it. At least I would

[Melrapuo]

How about I just not call at all? Silence is a pretty good "go fuck yourself" too. At this point I'm so annoyed by the fact she didn't call that I don't need to even bother at this point.

If she thinks she fucked up, she'll call me. I'm not chasing someone who isn't chasing me.

[disneyspy]

just call and hang up when she answers a few times

[Snoogans]

How about I just not call at all? Silence is a pretty good "go fuck yourself" too. At this point I'm so annoyed by the fact she didn't call that I don't need to even bother at this point.

If she thinks she fucked up, she'll call me. I'm not chasing someone who isn't chasing me.

thats why you should read what i said. I didnt say call to grovel, i said call to tell her fuck off, just once, even if its VM. Dont keep that shit bottled up. dont listen to dude. You will get mad at yourself later. It always feels good to tell someone you are pissed at to fuck off. ALWAYS

[Snoogans]

you should go on this show i just saw a commercial for on MTV. Battle of the Exes. Looks awesome. Maybe make some cash off this deal

[SnuggleBug]

what could she be doing? better go peek in her windows and find out

a few trips around her block couldnt hurt

just call and hang up when she answers a few times

I rarely post but but these are some very valid points. You should hack into her FaceBook account.

[Dude!]

How about I just not call at all? Silence is a pretty good "go fuck yourself" too. At this point I'm so annoyed by the fact she didn't call that I don't need to even bother at this point.

I'm not chasing someone who isn't chasing me.

there you go..
that's my Melrapuo

stick with me and you
won't end up with a ski cap
on your head, sitting alone
in front of the TV and making
lame videos of hash catching fire

[Snoogans]

there you go..
that's my Melrapuo

stick with me and you
won't end up with a ski cap
on your head, sitting alone
in front of the TV and making
lame videos of hash catching fire

yea thats all i do all day. you got me.

he is right though. stick with him and you will be voting republican and fuckin your sister in no time

[Sinestro]

So if tomorrow comes and she texts you about meeting up. Like "sorry forgot to call you and that type of shit" What are you going to do?

1. Still go?
2. Tell her you made other plans?
3. Tell her to have a nice life?
4. Not answer her text or phone call?



How is it you still have her number after 3 years? Why are you scouting her facebook? She's an ex. Do you guys hang out in the same social circles or have the same friends to be bothering with each other.

[PapaBear]

yea basically, but it killed the steam cause we dont have all the other posts. you shoulda just waited and had a mod move it over to the lounge as was
Say the word Melapuo and any of us will move the other thread, if you'd like.

[Snoogans]

Say the word Melapuo and any of us will move the other thread, if you'd like.

he asked in the other thread to move it over

[PapaBear]

he asked in the other thread to move it over
Cool. Thanks.

[Melrapuo]

Update...she txted me with some nonsense about being drunk. I didn't answer. She said he still wanted to talk so I told her to call me when she gets home. Sinestro, just to let u know she gave me her number. I had deleted it years ago and when we met for coffee she gave it to me without me asking.

[Crispy123]

booty call! woop woop!!

[Melrapuo]

Nope. She never called, but txted me. Said that she was seeing someone else, but didn't want to get me involved. I asked why she even said yes in the first place, and she said she got caught up cuz her family was very happy we were talking again. I pretty much told her I wasn't goin thru that same bullshit again and that I was worth way more than being treated like that. Said if she didn't see my worth now, she never would. And that's that.

[PapaBear]

I haven't read the whole thread, so forgive me if this has been asked. When you first set up the date, was she drunk at the time? Or (referring to your post an hour or so ago, when you said "Update...she txted me with some nonsense about being drunk") was she drunk when she sent you that text tonight? It sounds to me like, when she first agreed to the date, she was either drunk, or was feeling reminiscent.

Either way... Forget about her.

[Melrapuo]

Date was face to face, and we were sober

[CountryBob]

Nope. She never called, but txted me. Said that she was seeing someone else, but didn't want to get me involved. I asked why she even said yes in the first place, and she said she got caught up cuz her family was very happy we were talking again. I pretty much told her I wasn't goin thru that same bullshit again and that I was worth way more than being treated like that. Said if she didn't see my worth now, she never would. And that's that.

Bravo my boy! Do you kinda realize that trying to hook up with an ex is worthless now?

Focus on meeting someone new - and if it takes awhile, dont worry.

I dont know if you are like this but I have some friends that panic if they are not in a relationship. They make their life miserable until they quickly find another. I say chill, enjoy the options now of being free and clear to go out with whoever and do whatever. But overall, dont feel pressured to immediately get hooked up - you will stress yourself out terribly.

[ozzie]

I love you all, but Snoogans is right. You've got to find a happy medium. I've had both types of guys around--the kind that won't plan anything, and won't make a move until you say something--and the kind that act like they don't need you around. The guys that act they're doing me a favor don't get past the first date, sometimes not past the first hour. I like a guy who can have fun on his own, doing his own thing, but lets you know that he can't have the most fun unless you're around. I think you need to make you're own life for a while and THEN find someone to share it.

Naw, you don't "act like they don't need you around", just that you're a confident guy, who does this shit anyway, and that you want this special girl to come join you on your adventures.

Of course you have to make them feel a part of it, and special. That's all part of it.

But you don't ever want to come off like, if they don't say "yes", that you'll be sitting home alone pining about her. Even if it's BS, you've got to have the attitude going in that you're going to be doing this fun shit, and you really want her to come experience some of what Mr. Melrapuo has going on... but if she can't, or doesn't want to, then you roll on with a smile and an attitude that IMPLIES that she's the one that's missing out.

And, yeah, on that first date, you start asking or figuring out what shit she does, and take an interest, and work your way in to going on a future Mrs. Melrapuo adventure.

[Snoogans]

Naw, you don't "act like they don't need you around", just that you're a confident guy, who does this shit anyway, and that you want this special girl to come join you on your adventures.

Of course you have to make them feel a part of it, and special. That's all part of it.

But you don't ever want to come off like, if they don't say "yes", that you'll be sitting home alone pining about her. Even if it's BS, you've got to have the attitude going in that you're going to be doing this fun shit, and you really want her to come experience some of what Mr. Melrapuo has going on... but if she can't, or doesn't want to, then you roll on with a smile and an attitude that IMPLIES that she's the one that's missing out.

And, yeah, on that first date, you start asking or figuring out what shit she does, and take an interest, and work your way in to going on a future Mrs. Melrapuo adventure.

I think we just found the issue. WHO THE FUCK wants to change their name to Mrs. Melrapuo

[underdog]

I don't know what's more surprising, that you're looking for dating advice from this group of people or the fact that most of them are right.

[Melrapuo]

Yea I'm not sure really.

Anyway just to update again, we've decided to stay friends. We have both missed each other a lot and always wanted each other in our lives so who knows. What a weird month.

[Snoogans]

Yea I'm not sure really.

Anyway just to update again, we've decided to stay friends. We have both missed each other a lot and always wanted each other in our lives so who knows. What a weird month.

dont do it bro. its not gonna be good

[Snoogans]

since we are in the lounge now, i think this video sums up this thread quite nicely:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gkfVdrtLcRs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


and yes, you read that right. 10 FUCKIN HOURS this video is. 10 FUCKIN HOURS OF THIS SHIT

[jennysmurf]

dont do it bro. its not gonna be good

He's right. She just wants you around as a "back-up plan."

[Dude!]

He's right. She just wants you around as a "back-up plan."

yep, they're both right

go monk for a few months
till you get yourself together

[underdog]

Why are you trying to leap back into a relationship or dating so quickly after a break up? Women are going to smell that desperation.

[Melrapuo]

Well its not like I'm gonna make myself available to her. And tbh I don't want a relationship...just trying to recollect myself. Get out more, meet people. Experience life. I've been stuck in relationships too long in the past five years. Being single is starting to sound appealing.

O and my friend got me a lap dance yesterday. I don't know why I never got one in the first place

[Snoogans]

Well its not like I'm gonna make myself available to her. And tbh I don't want a relationship...just trying to recollect myself. Get out more, meet people. Experience life. I've been stuck in relationships too long in the past five years. Being single is starting to sound appealing.

O and my friend got me a lap dance yesterday. I don't know why I never got one in the first place

cause then you have to pay for it. i know alot of guys like this, but i never understood. I knew some dudes who used to go once a month and drop like 100-200 bucks at this awful place in Carlstadt. Never once did they ever get laid for spending all this money. Basically they would spend it to drink, get grinded on for a bit by women they cant touch, then go home and jerk off. You can basically do the same thing at any night club. its retarded.

Ive only been to a strip club 3 times in my life. Once when i turned 18, and i realized how awful they are (it was TnAs, which used to be in monsey and is now out of biz), and then twice for the ron fez party things they had at VIP club. and i was pretty much only hanging out there, and i got pissed when they wouldnt let me use the funny money they gave us on drinks

[underdog]

Go to a strip club in Canada. I wasted all my extra money there when I was up there.

[Snoogans]

Go to a strip club in Canada. I wasted all my extra money there when I was up there.

good in theory, til you realize that you have to actually be in Canada to do that

[underdog]

good in theory, til you realize that you have to actually be in Canada to do that

Truth. That's why I went, to forget I was in Canada.

[CountryBob]

Strip clubs are like a novelty to me - I go when there is a bachelor party or some other group reason.

I hate the idea to spend so much cash and go home with nothing.
Or if someone else is footing the bill - I will go everytime and even drive.

[Melrapuo]

Now im curious. Does every ex that wants to be friends really just want u ask a back up? Exes never wanna legit just be friends?

[ozzie]

Now im curious. Does every ex that wants to be friends really just want u ask a back up? Exes never wanna legit just be friends?

I stayed pretty good friends with the first ex, for a while, but I'm pretty sure she was just hoping there was a chance to get back together, and keeping tabs on me. Once she moved on with her life, there was no reason to continue to keep in touch.

I had kids with the second, so I'm stuck with her... probably forever. We shared a divorce lawyer, and there's not a lot spelled out about visitation and such, so I kinda have to keep it civil so that I continue to get unlimited visitation. Hell, I just picked the games for her that won her the "college pick'em" pool for her for the second year in a row, so that keeps her happy. (Although she's now "banned" from playing with that group anymore)

Generally one party is more interested than the other in remaining "friends", and there's usually a motive buried in there somewhere. You seem to be struggling with letting some of these girls go, which puts you in a very vulnerable place. I'd be worried about these bitches stringing you along, or giving you false hope, veiled as "remaining friends" for their own benefit.

[Furtherman]

Now im curious. Does every ex that wants to be friends really just want u ask a back up? Exes never wanna legit just be friends?

I think Chris Rock said it best: Women have their "Because ya never know" list. I'm sure it's possible that exes can be legit friends. But I also know that those lists exist.

[Melrapuo]

Lately ive been debating about staying friends with her. If i do i can go to parties, meet more people, etc. Then i could eventually get to meet other girls. At the same time, ive only had 1 or 2 line convos with this one, and shes initiated all of them. Truthfully i have my guard completely up, cuz i still remember the shit shes pulled. Im just wondering if the pros outweigh the cons for staying friends with her

[Furtherman]

Let her go. What's the point of being friends with her?

[Melrapuo]

I'm not sure really. I think I'm just longing to be with someone rather than just be with her. Right now I'm a lot more upset about my latest break up, just cuz I felt more with that ex than this one. Its not like I'm checking my phone all the time to see if she called or texted. I'm honestly just trying to figure out what to do here. Friends shouldn't be a problem, but if its just "hey lets be friends" and then we almost never hang out or even interact, then there's no point.

I'm going to give it a couple more weeks. If it seems like she's just doing it to keep me in her life, but not really having me involved in any kind of way, then I'll just cut it off. No point in being friends with someone who isn't friendly.

[jennysmurf]

I'm not sure really. I think I'm just longing to be with someone rather than just be with her. Right now I'm a lot more upset about my latest break up, just cuz I felt more with that ex than this one. Its not like I'm checking my phone all the time to see if she called or texted. I'm honestly just trying to figure out what to do here. Friends shouldn't be a problem, but if its just "hey lets be friends" and then we almost never hang out or even interact, then there's no point.

I'm going to give it a couple more weeks. If it seems like she's just doing it to keep me in her life, but not really having me involved in any kind of way, then I'll just cut it off. No point in being friends with someone who isn't friendly.

There ya go, buddy. This thread is now complete.