My scary neighbor

[Gwen]

My new neighbor is really scary. He's old and a manic depressive. He will let the grass grow for mothts at a time when he's depressed because he doesnt want to cut it.
He chops up cardboard boxes in the back yard with an axe. Who the F does that?!?!
Everytime my mom gets out of her car and he's in his yard he tells my mom that she needs a man around the house (I dont know if he's implying that she's weak or a lesbian, but he's an ass)
He throws his snow on our driveway.
He complains that our dogs bark at all hours of the nite (this is also a lie, our dogs are quiet until someone comes home and they see them, at night they're in the hallway where no one walks!)
If it weren't for the yummy cookies his wife bakes I'd prolly play mean tricks on him.

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[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

his wife


He's married? POOR WOMAN!!

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[impactplayer2k1]

he probably doesn't get enough sex in his diet.

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[Jackie Sloan]

He sounds like a freak - keep your distance

Hey...your weak will won't help her heal her heart!

[Tall_James]

And for God's sake...

DON'T WEAR YOUR CARDBOARD JACKET AROUND HIM!!!!

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Dodging low-flying aircraft since 1977.

[Doogie]

Simple solution for this problem...BB Gun...

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[Jackie Sloan]

Oooo...how much fun were those?!

Hey...your weak will won't help her heal her heart!

[Captain Rooster]

how long has gvac been your neighbor?

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[Fallon]

Is his name Steve Polychronopolous?

"Polychronopolous"

I'm a big fuckin' dick
I'm a pain in your ass
I drink all your beer
I'll eat the last slice
I'll give you charley horses
I'll pull your shorts down at the beach
I always need a ride
Nobody likes me

My name's Steve Motherfucking Polychronopolous

I spit when I talk
I swear in front of your mother
I throw shit at the movies
I wear tight pants
I ask you to buy an extra Yankee ticket
And then I don't show
I tell you I saw your girlfriend
Fucking two guys at a party

'Cause my name's Steve Motherfucking Polychronopolous

I'll piss on your toilet seat and tell your dad you got stoned

I'll borrow your jacket and never think of returning it

Polychronopolous
Pansy
Pussy
Shit for brains
Douchebag

I'll leave your gate open
So your dog runs away
I'll make fun of your pimple
Then I'll grab your sister's ass

'Cause my name's Steve Motherfucking Polychronopolous

And I don't care
And I don't give a shit

I'll break your brother's stereo
And then tell him it was you
You think you're better than me
Well you're fucking wrong

Everybody knows I'm Steve Motherfucking Polychronopolous

Deal with it

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[Havenostaples]

Is you neighboor the guy who plays the neighboor in home alone?

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"She must have stolen the stars and set them in her eyes, she blinds me with a smile and everything is alright" (Bigwig)

[impactplayer2k1]

does your neighbor see gremlins?

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[TheGameHHH]

Dude, that seems like the worst neighbor to EVER have. But uh, if the cookies are so good, send me some.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

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[Jennitalia]

i have a scary neighbor story, too. when i was in 5th grade we lived in this apartment building, and there was this one guy named Tom, who wasn't really right in the head. he lived on the 3rd floor and would spend most of his time looking out his window, which overlooked the parking lot. at night he'd shine a flashlight down on everyone and whine if you didnt say hello to him. when he'd see me, he'd sing some song called "jennifer of the jungle". one day my sister and i locked ourselves out of the apartment after school, so we had to wait 2 hours outside until my mom came home. so he stared at us and tried to whine that we didnt say hi and he was going to tell. what a freak.
the boys used to chase him around and stuff.

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[furie]

just another long island crazy... must be the water.



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[GvacNoMore]

When I was a kid, I had the best neighbor ever! She was an opera singer, and every night she would practice singing her scales while she showered. She wasn't very pretty, and she was a little chunky, but she always showered with the shades wide open, and would then come out of the shower and comb her hair, paint her toenails, etc. all while being totally nude! To this pre-pubescent boy, she was awesome! I was like one of Pavlov's dogs...the second I heard those scales being sung, I'd run up to my bedroom (her bathroom window was directly across from my bedroom window) shut my lights out, and wait.

Ahhh...memories.


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[CYYYFYYY]

My neighbor is a real screw
job. I know he is crazy.
everyone knows it and whenever
people see him they get scared
and run... whoops that is not
my neighbor that is me....
never mind.......


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY

[erole]

Gwen, since when did Perrynoid get marriedand live next to you? Wow.

Slugs, and blocks of ice Gwen.

I had this idiot neighbor that copied everything my family did. When we got a pool, they got a pool. When we started a garden, so did they. And so on.

I remember two things I did to them. The one thing was, I took a box they got through the mail and stuck a slug into it. The screams from inside the house were priceless.

I also carved out a five foot block of ice one winter, opened their back car door, and laid the ice at the base of their back seats. Boy did it melt. They found out it was there when they drove their car and water flooded the front seat.

Anything to help Gwen.

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[furie]

my neighbors aren't crazy, just trash. I live in an apartment. Next to me it's the owner, his wife, her son, her two daughters, and the two bastard children the daughters have. all this (and a cat) in a two beedroom apt.
and surprise! they're loud.



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[Sheeplovr]

He chops up cardboard boxes in the back yard with an axe. Who the F does that?!?!


dont rag it till you try it

number 333 its the way to be
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POWER AND CHAOS

[SweetPea]

Wow Scary neighbors! most of the people on my block are scary neighbors! The lady that lives two houses away from me..NUT JOB! She is in her 60-70's im guessing. When my mom and dad moved into this house (I wasnt born yet) she thought that my dad Jewish (hes not), and she started a petition because she didnt want my parents to live here! When she takes out her garbage she puts plastic bags on her feet, and she never walks on the grass. Her son is like 25 and we never see him. I saw him once in dark clothes, and a big hooded sweatshirt crouched in the back of her car.

Next door to me there used to be a man and women and a child that we didnt see till she was 4 in the house. They were both doctors in the city. Someone broke into their house one day and when the cops came, they found thousands of dollars worth of prescription drugs.

Across the street from that house is another wacko ex-cop and he is just weird he spys on my family. He comes outside whenever we leave the house or come home. The other day I went out w/ my mom and walked out his side door and walked around the outside of his house til we left.

On the other side of my house is a family of 5. The father had an affair w/ the oldest sons tutor. The mother is a bitch and fights w/ my mom about parking. The oldest son was a college student upstate, but after the break he never went back. The daughter is such a bitch! And she has a staring problem. And the youngest son is such a brat!! I wanna run him over soo bad!! He has the staring problem too.

Then a couple houses down the street is a family of 7. The father isnt so bad...we just dont talk to them. The mother once chased my uncle down the street w/ a hockey stick, after her children threw rocks at my great grandmother. She also doesnt have a job...she grows and sells her hair for money. And she sits home all day drinking coffee and playing video games. The kids (5 boys, ages 22-6) they're just nutty people.

And that is just a couple people on my block. Hope you come visit some day! LoL I cant wait till I move

I'm a 16 yr old girl from L.I. :D
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[erole]

I believe SweetPea wins. That's not just a neighbor, that's a whole F'in community. Freak-ville, escape Pea, escape!

Homework assignment for everyone. Rent "The Burbs" starring Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher. Good neighbor movie.

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