day to day awkward/embarressing moments?

[Rawkus]

A common one for me is having a joke bomb and people looking strangely at me. I guess people just don't get my sense of humor sometimes. I remember hearing jackie the jokeman tell a joke on o&a that had me rolling so tonight i tried to relay it to a table full of people. I had their total attention and the joke goes like this. "a horse walks into a bar, and the bar tender says....why the long face....(wait for pause)the horse says i have horse cancer. Maybe my timing, delivery and everything else was awful but fuck it! I thought the joke was HILARIOUS when jackie said it. I guess thats why he gets paid the big bucks and i'm a douchebag.

Can't think of any more right now but, i'm just a walking ball of awkward.

[Judge Smails]

That's the funniest joke I've heard in a long time. Jackie the Jokeman "gets paid the big bucks." That is comedy gold right there and fuck your friends if they don’t have a sense of humor.

[OGC]

As I recall the Joke as Jackie told it, the horse replied "I have cancer"

You told it as "horse cancer".

Cancer is funny, horse cancer isn't funny. You fucked up the joke and no one will laugh at it the way you told it.

Apparently you just aren't funny.

:dry:

[Chigworthy]

Jackie has an unmatchable delivery for jokes. As in, don't try to match it.

[sailor]

Jackie has an unmatchable delivery for jokes. As in, don't try to match it.

crap, now rawkus is going to be inconsolable.

[fezident]

I think the funniest possible punch line is simply: "horse cancer".

Saying the words "I have _____" is unfunny.
But if you sell it as a sad, defeated, depressed horse giving a two word answer.... you've got yourself a funny little piece of jokery there.

[Judge Smails]

I once heard a radio guy tell a joke about a bear with big paws going into a bar. He was no Jackie Martling, though.

[Dude!]

they would have laughed
if you had said
'horse AIDS"

[Judge Smails]

I would have gone with Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis, then sit back and watch my friends bust their guts laughing.

[Dude!]

I would have gone with Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis, then sit back and watch my friends bust their guts laughing.

that's ok, but nothing
rocks a room like
Spina Bifida

[Judge Smails]

Try this joke on your friends and see what they think:

An Italian guy, A Polish guy and a black guy walk into a bar and the bartender says: "We don't serve no fucking niggers here."

Then as your friends are staring at you with their mouths agape you say:

Oh, did I mention it was 1959 and the bar was in Mississippi? Because that's kind of important.

[furie]

http://www.dweebist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/hawkward.jpg

[Space Edge]

Try this joke on your friends and see what they think:

An Italian guy, A Polish guy and a black guy walk into a bar and the bartender says: "We don't serve no fucking niggers here."

Then as your friends are staring at you with their mouths agape you say:

Oh, did I mention it was 1959 and the bar was in Mississippi? Because that's kind of important.
http://images1.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/4609548/I-lold.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=i-lold

[hanso]

Go to a drive up food store. When a hot babe is working the shift. Pull up and ask her if she has a big bush. Wait untill she gets a lil perturbed. Then say you want the tall boy can of beer you dirty whore.

[DonInNC]

maybe you just need to pony up for a new joke book.

[hanso]

You mean something on the internet repeated itself? HF! How bout you start with just one? This is all you add?

[DonInNC]

Um, that was a word play. pony=horse. rawkus was poking fun at himself...never mind...

[TripleSkeet]

I guess thats why he gets paid the big bucks and i'm a douchebag.


Modquote?

[Willmore]

Joke telling is 80% delivery and timing.

If you don't have it, you don't have it. You might be able to train it, most comedians don't start with good timing or delivery, so if it's that important to you, practice (not on your friends, spare them).

The short jokes especially you need perfect timing. Try memorizing some long-form jokes, there, timing gives way to writing being more important, see if that works.

[Rawkus]

they would have laughed
if you had said
'horse AIDS"

LOL, i've totally been interchanging horse AIDS and horse cancer.