Here we go again

[keithy_19]

For awhile now my prior relationship has been offer with spurts of passion that just ended messy. We don't talk anymore and I don't feel the need to look at her facebook or check up on her in anyway. It took awhile, but I'm definately at amuch better place than I was.

During this time of avoiding her I filled my time with various activities such as really working on my writing, taking an EMT course, looking getting into acting again, started a band, and generally just going out and having a good tie with people who I enjoy and who I know care about me.

I won't lie and say that if I were run into her tomorrow at the store I wouldn't feel sick, but I would definately be able to handle the situation.

During this time I started noticing that I was paying attention to this one girl in particular. We have been friends since high school and we both helped each other out through some really bad times. We've also hooked up twice, though we cout that to the drinking we did prior to it.

I was driving to my job a few days ago and I realized that whenever I'm upsdt over something, my htoughts turn to her and I feel better. It's not the healthiest thing, since people have a tendancy to let you down, but still. When bad things were happing with me and my ex I would think of her and things would get better. I started noitiicng her different as well. She's always been a really, really pretty girl but I never focujsed on it as much as I am now. The thoughts of wow, what a great friend, are turning into thoughts of, wow I would like to wake up next to her.

I can see use working out, but I'm not entirely sure how to bridge the gap of friendship. Obviously there is something between us, but to get it front and center is beyond me at this point.

Any help advice would be gladly taken.

[hanso]

spurts of passion the new hip band?

[keithy_19]

spurts of passion the new hip band?

Sure. Why not.

As I re-read the opening line I realized how poorly worded it was. God I suck.

[TripleSkeet]

Good luck. I dont wanna bring you down but it never usually works that way. Only in movies are girls and guys best friends first and then become a couple. Usually if the girl wants more then a friendship, shell let you know.

And if you try and lay it on the line and express your feelings, and she doesnt feel the same way, say goodbye to the friendship. There will always be that awkward uncomfortableness that comes with rejection. You may lose her as a close friend.

[CountryBob]

i agree with Skeet -

I have had a friend like this for years now. I first met her 10 years ago when a mutual friend brought her to my town (for a future marriage). We instantly hit it off and we always would isolate ourselves when at party's etc. and have the perfect talk and laugh moments of my life. Well, she did marry the guy and we still enjoyed each other's company over the years until...I had been working out of town and was trying to get a job so I could be home everynight. Once I found the job I realized that she also worked for the same company (I forgot where she worked as contact had eased off the last few years) but I was stoked to be able to be around her agian.

She is one of those rare people that gives off such a positive, friendly, caring energy and is super sexy! I was finding myself spending so much time at work around her (sometimes for hours at a time when the coast was clear). It was evident, I was totally in love with her!

She would always say that I would be the best person for her to be with and that she loved me greatly etc.etc.
Well, she informed me one day that her marriage had failed and she was getting divorced. Cha Ching - I was in! But no, once she was free of the binds she made it clear that she could'nt afford to lose our friendship if a relationship went wrong. I am understanding now that she was saying all those things to me over the years because she was married and she was safe. Once she became available again, she broke my heart.

Sorry to get long winded here (this is your problem) but I wanted to say that every time I had hooked up with a great friend like this girl you describe - it never has turned out for the best. Every time it is the chick that fucks the relationship up - i have met 4 loves of my life and have been rejected by all of them over time. Be prepared for more heartache.
Find another chick that is new and you start the relationship as lovers not as long time friends. If it goes bad you only lose the lover - not a lover and a friend.

[realmenhatelife]

There is no way to back door it. I find that one of the worst things you can do as a person is to try to avoid hurting yourself and others. You do way shittier things in the name of what you convince yourself is compassion but is really selfishness. Trying to spare someone elses feelings is downright condescending. You should never deny someone elses right to their true emotional response. The situation is always there, is always what it is, choosing not to acknowledge it does not actually neutralize the consequences, which is what one wants, they always come to a head and usually they're out of your control by the time they do.

So you're not actually choosing on whether or not to pursue a relationship with this girl, you're already pursuing it through involuntary emotional reaction, so you might as well let her know about it. Say hey, I like you, I want to spend more time with you. Be direct and honest. If she rejects you then I actually think you have a better shot at maintaining the friendship, because youll have closure.


On a side note when people say things like people always let you down, or the girl is always the one who dumps me etc etc I might remind them that you are the only common denominator in everything that happens to you. If you're seeing a pattern chances are you're the one who is causing it, even if its just by making terrible choices.

[Furtherman]

I'll refer you to this thread (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=87197), and read the advice there.

[Snacks]

seriously, maybe you need to look at how much you put into every girl you date or are interested in. I dont know you personally but all of your post that have to do with girls all seem to be the exact same thing. I think you might put way too much stock into things and girls way too quickly. Relax, let things happen if they do then great if they dont its not the end of the world. You dont need to get so worked over things and obsess.

[Furtherman]

seriously, maybe you need to look at how much you put into every girl you date or are interested in. I dont know you personally but all of your post that have to do with girls all seem to be the exact same thing. I think you might put way too much stock into things and girls way too quickly. Relax, let things happen if they do then great if they dont its not the end of the world. You dont need to get so worked over things and obsess.

LOOK! HERE. KEITHY.

This is what we've been telling you for 20 something years.

Right here.

HEED THIS.

Print it out, put it in your wallet, and read it everytime you feel you've met your next heartbreak.

[CountryBob]

There is no way to back door it. I find that one of the worst things you can do as a person is to try to avoid hurting yourself and others. You do way shittier things in the name of what you convince yourself is compassion but is really selfishness. Trying to spare someone elses feelings is downright condescending. You should never deny someone elses right to their true emotional response. The situation is always there, is always what it is, choosing not to acknowledge it does not actually neutralize the consequences, which is what one wants, they always come to a head and usually they're out of your control by the time they do.

So you're not actually choosing on whether or not to pursue a relationship with this girl, you're already pursuing it through involuntary emotional reaction, so you might as well let her know about it. Say hey, I like you, I want to spend more time with you. Be direct and honest. If she rejects you then I actually think you have a better shot at maintaining the friendship, because youll have closure.

On a side note when people say things like people always let you down, or the girl is always the one who dumps me etc etc I might remind them that you are the only common denominator in everything that happens to you. If you're seeing a pattern chances are you're the one who is causing it, even if its just by making terrible choices.

True - I am guilty of falling in love with the girls that I cant get. Its not their fault.
Point was that I have never ended the relationship - they have and yeah, I'm the problem.
Just be prepared to lose a great friendship if the romance didnt blossom first ...

[hanso]

http://www.10pix.ru/img1/2661/2793245.jpg
no worries

[Suspect Chin]

seriously, maybe you need to look at how much you put into every girl you date or are interested in. I dont know you personally but all of your post that have to do with girls all seem to be the exact same thing. I think you might put way too much stock into things and girls way too quickly. Relax, let things happen if they do then great if they dont its not the end of the world. You dont need to get so worked over things and obsess.

He's like the straight Fez Whatley.

[TheGameHHH]

bone her

[grlNIN]

There is no way to back door it. I find that one of the worst things you can do as a person is to try to avoid hurting yourself and others. You do way shittier things in the name of what you convince yourself is compassion but is really selfishness. Trying to spare someone elses feelings is downright condescending. You should never deny someone elses right to their true emotional response. The situation is always there, is always what it is, choosing not to acknowledge it does not actually neutralize the consequences, which is what one wants, they always come to a head and usually they're out of your control by the time they do.

So you're not actually choosing on whether or not to pursue a relationship with this girl, you're already pursuing it through involuntary emotional reaction, so you might as well let her know about it. Say hey, I like you, I want to spend more time with you. Be direct and honest. If she rejects you then I actually think you have a better shot at maintaining the friendship, because youll have closure.


On a side note when people say things like people always let you down, or the girl is always the one who dumps me etc etc I might remind them that you are the only common denominator in everything that happens to you. If you're seeing a pattern chances are you're the one who is causing it, even if its just by making terrible choices.

This could quite possibly be the most well balanced, honest, and insightful post i've read on this board in 9yrs.

[keithy_19]

seriously, maybe you need to look at how much you put into every girl you date or are interested in. I dont know you personally but all of your post that have to do with girls all seem to be the exact same thing. I think you might put way too much stock into things and girls way too quickly. Relax, let things happen if they do then great if they dont its not the end of the world. You dont need to get so worked over things and obsess.

I am trying to be more like this. With my ex it just kind of happened. But we started off as friends, became best friends, then best friends who fucked, and then a couple, back to friends who fucked, back to friends who fall asleep together, to friends, to friends while she's fucking someone else, to not friends at all.

And I'm trying to let things just go naturally with my friend. I kkow that she's the kind of person who wouldn't throw away a friendship because I said I liked her. I wouldn't throw our friendship away if she said she onl saw me as a friend. I've been there before with others.

And I'm trying to not put so much stock in it. It was just something I was noticing. I guess I always noticed it, but tried not to think about it because of our friendship. But we've gotten a lot closer as of late. So I don't know.

I'm not putting all my stock into this. It would be "ideal" but it doesn't have to happen. I went out with a girl last night for drinks. Was out with friends and flirted with the waitress (yeah, she wanted a better tip), and hell, today I got a girls number who I work with.

It's not the end all be all. And I make it seem like it, and I'm not sure why. Confidence or something? I feel like through my last trainwreck of a relationship that my confidence plummeted and now I'm much stronger than I was before. Who knows.

I'm going to go back and read High Fidelity now.

[Justice4all]

There is no way to back door it. I find that one of the worst things you can do as a person is to try to avoid hurting yourself and others. You do way shittier things in the name of what you convince yourself is compassion but is really selfishness. Trying to spare someone elses feelings is downright condescending. You should never deny someone elses right to their true emotional response. The situation is always there, is always what it is, choosing not to acknowledge it does not actually neutralize the consequences, which is what one wants, they always come to a head and usually they're out of your control by the time they do.

So you're not actually choosing on whether or not to pursue a relationship with this girl, you're already pursuing it through involuntary emotional reaction, so you might as well let her know about it. Say hey, I like you, I want to spend more time with you. Be direct and honest. If she rejects you then I actually think you have a better shot at maintaining the friendship, because youll have closure.


On a side note when people say things like people always let you down, or the girl is always the one who dumps me etc etc I might remind them that you are the only common denominator in everything that happens to you. If you're seeing a pattern chances are you're the one who is causing it, even if its just by making terrible choices.


I agree. And I think since you both hooked up with each other in the past, if she DOES reject you (not saying she will or won't), chances are it might not screw up the friendship (sorry skeet).

If she doesn't feel the same way, don't get hung up if you see her with someone else. if you can't handle it pull yourself away and be respectful with her. But let her know why you won't be around so she doesn't think you're just not talking to her and pouting.

If you like her as your friend do anything to let her know how important it is to you. I think she will agree with you about that.

Good luck. And what Snacks said....about relaxing and letting things happen...he's full of crap don't listen to him.

no just kidding. He was dead on. It's really good advice. Follow it.

[keithy_19]

I agree. And I think since you both hooked up with each other in the past, if she DOES reject you (not saying she will or won't), chances are it might not screw up the friendship (sorry skeet).

If she doesn't feel the same way, don't get hung up if you see her with someone else. if you can't handle it pull yourself away and be respectful with her. But let her know why you won't be around so she doesn't think you're just not talking to her and pouting.

If you like her as your friend do anything to let her know how important it is to you. I think she will agree with you about that.

Good luck. And what Snacks said....about relaxing and letting things happen...he's full of crap don't listen to him.

no just kidding. He was dead on. It's really good advice. Follow it.


Things got a little "weirder" with us lately. While we've always known how much we enjoy each other's company, now she'll openly say it. Or if we're texting she'll put a heart in the text. The other day she said she loved me.

It could, and probably is, be that she just loves me as a friend. That's fine with me. It's just odd how all of a sudden it got a little more romantic-ish. And she's not the kind of girl who puts hearts in texts or says she loves you unless she means soemthing behind it. It kind of felt like her letting her guard down.

And as for seeing her with someone else, I really don't think it would bother me too much. More of a that kinda sucks rather than a I have to leave the room thing. It makes sense considering we've only been friends that the sight of her with someone else doesn't effect me.

[Justice4all]

Things got a little "weirder" with us lately. While we've always known how much we enjoy each other's company, now she'll openly say it. Or if we're texting she'll put a heart in the text. The other day she said she loved me.

It could, and probably is, be that she just loves me as a friend. That's fine with me. It's just odd how all of a sudden it got a little more romantic-ish. And she's not the kind of girl who puts hearts in texts or says she loves you unless she means soemthing behind it. It kind of felt like her letting her guard down.

And as for seeing her with someone else, I really don't think it would bother me too much. More of a that kinda sucks rather than a I have to leave the room thing. It makes sense considering we've only been friends that the sight of her with someone else doesn't effect me.

Gotcha.

And if it seems that she is getting a little more 'romantic' with you this might be your chance to...CAREFULLY...tell her how you feel. It sounds like she is making overt gestures and testing the water (so to speak) about how you might respond to it all.

Have the talk with her. See how it goes. What's the worst that could happen? You two stay exactly as it.
best case?
You get your girl.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

And remember what Snacks said ok. SLOWLY. take you time. Don't rush into anything.

[keithy_19]

Gotcha.

And if it seems that she is getting a little more 'romantic' with you this might be your chance to...CAREFULLY...tell her how you feel. It sounds like she is making overt gestures and testing the water (so to speak) about how you might respond to it all.

Have the talk with her. See how it goes. What's the worst that could happen? You two stay exactly as it.
best case?
You get your girl.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

And remember what Snacks said ok. SLOWLY. take you time. Don't rush into anything.

After the last relationship debacle, I'm not sure if I have it in me to go quickly.

[JPMNICK]

here is the one thing i will say about the "friends tag"

there is a really good chance who you are friends with at 22 you will not be friends with at 32, especially girls. they tend to leave the group and go hang out with whoever they are dating and his friends.

on that thought, you need to try while you can, because in 6-7 years when you don't see her anymore anyway, you will be wondering what could have been

[grlNIN]

I say drive past her house over and over until she is forced to either love you or loathe you.

[Justice4all]

After the last relationship debacle, I'm not sure if I have it in me to go quickly.

GOOD!
Now that you know that....go talk to this girl. Stop trying to delay yourself by posting on here.

[keithy_19]

GOOD!
Now that you know that....go talk to this girl. Stop trying to delay yourself by posting on here.

So just found out she's transfering schools and heading to one an hour and a half away. So come January she'll be there.

So...maybe a fling?

[Justice4all]

So just found out she's transfering schools and heading to one an hour and a half away. So come January she'll be there.

So...maybe a fling?

So now you're going from "I'm always happy when I think about this girl" to she can get my rocks off.

I think you might be fooling yourself about this whole 'love' thing.

If you really mean it with her....90 mins away is not terrible at all. You can make it work.
Hell it takes that long to go to AC. So to visit her it should be worth it...no?

[keithy_19]

So now you're going from "I'm always happy when I think about this girl" to she can get my rocks off.

I think you might be fooling yourself about this whole 'love' thing.

If you really mean it with her....90 mins away is not terrible at all. You can make it work.
Hell it takes that long to go to AC. So to visit her it should be worth it...no?

I was kind of kidding about the fling.

It's not the longest distance and it can work. But I also know that she's a freshman in college and I'm 22 and the chance of it really working are going to be slim.

The drive down to see her would be worth it, regardless of what we are. It's just another thing to consider, I guess.

[PapaBear]

A freshman in college is almost never going to work out long term.

[Suspect Chin]

Just strap on a pair and make a run at her. Stop over analyzing every interaction. Go with your gut with every girl you meet and don't think about long term hurdles up front. It seems like you have plenty of success meeting girls you just over analyze every dynamic until the opportunity is gone. The girls will love the confidence you have when you trust your instincts and success will follow. You'll win some and you'll lose some, but no successful relationships are made by following some chess game--they are instinctual and self propelled.

[TripleSkeet]

I say drive past her house over and over until she is forced to either love you or loathe you.

:lol::lol::lol:

What a situation youve got Keith. So you like this girl, and she finally starts showing signs she may wanna be more then friends...right before shes moving 1 1/2 hours away? Wow. Good luck making that work, I could never do it.

Another question, have you ever had relationships with girls you werent friends with first? Because to me that just like bizarre. Ive had girls I was friends with that a night would come where we were drinking and would wind up fucking, but it always ended with "Wow, that was fun. Were cool though, right?" and then things went right back to normal.

But if I met a girl and had interest in her, I always made it pretty clear that if we were going out, it was a DATE, not friends hanging out. And if things went well I was making a move. If she didnt want to take it there, it was cool, but that was it, there wasnt going to be any more phone calls or hanging out. There have been girls that tried that and my reply would vary from, "Ive got enough friends, but thanks." to "If I wanted another friend I would buy a dog."

I mean, the girls didnt always agree with that viewpoint but they always respected me for being so honest and up front about it. Have you ever tried just going right for the romantic route instead of trying to be their friend first?

[keithy_19]

:lol::lol::lol:

What a situation youve got Keith. So you like this girl, and she finally starts showing signs she may wanna be more then friends...right before shes moving 1 1/2 hours away? Wow. Good luck making that work, I could never do it.

Another question, have you ever had relationships with girls you werent friends with first? Because to me that just like bizarre. Ive had girls I was friends with that a night would come where we were drinking and would wind up fucking, but it always ended with "Wow, that was fun. Were cool though, right?" and then things went right back to normal.

But if I met a girl and had interest in her, I always made it pretty clear that if we were going out, it was a DATE, not friends hanging out. And if things went well I was making a move. If she didnt want to take it there, it was cool, but that was it, there wasnt going to be any more phone calls or hanging out. There have been girls that tried that and my reply would vary from, "Ive got enough friends, but thanks." to "If I wanted another friend I would buy a dog."

I mean, the girls didnt always agree with that viewpoint but they always respected me for being so honest and up front about it. Have you ever tried just going right for the romantic route instead of trying to be their friend first?

I'm just probably going to let this one fade. I don't lose anything, and I avoid a huge head ache. And while I think she's awesome, I'm realistic with the fact that the situation most likely won't work. So I won't gain anything romanticly, but I won't lose anything either.

And I have. I dated a girl for a year and a half where it was pretty much straight to the point. We met. We did just hang out a few times, not romantic per se, but obvious that something was underlying. And if we were in a group we would fade from the group and just be with each other. And yeah. Kind of ironically, she moved an hour away and we made it work for about another 9 months till she started talking to some other guy and the distance became a chore rather than something romantic and compelling to deal with (in the that youthful, stupid way).

And my ex was always a girl who I wanted to be with. We met when we were younger and both liked each other but nothing happened, though we went on a date or two. And then we met up again and the feelings I had for her when we first met were still there (she stuck in my mind as that one girl that I wanted nothing more than to be with but just kept it to wishful thinking) and we hung out a few times with a mutual friend and then alone, and then it happened. It was natural. I guess my idea of us never working out like that made me more confident in my approach because I figured why not go for it. And yeah.

[Justice4all]

I'm just probably going to let this one fade. I don't lose anything, and I avoid a huge head ache. And while I think she's awesome, I'm realistic with the fact that the situation most likely won't work. So I won't gain anything romanticly, but I won't lose anything either.

And I have. I dated a girl for a year and a half where it was pretty much straight to the point. We met. We did just hang out a few times, not romantic per se, but obvious that something was underlying. And if we were in a group we would fade from the group and just be with each other. And yeah. Kind of ironically, she moved an hour away and we made it work for about another 9 months till she started talking to some other guy and the distance became a chore rather than something romantic and compelling to deal with (in the that youthful, stupid way).

And my ex was always a girl who I wanted to be with. We met when we were younger and both liked each other but nothing happened, though we went on a date or two. And then we met up again and the feelings I had for her when we first met were still there (she stuck in my mind as that one girl that I wanted nothing more than to be with but just kept it to wishful thinking) and we hung out a few times with a mutual friend and then alone, and then it happened. It was natural. I guess my idea of us never working out like that made me more confident in my approach because I figured why not go for it. And yeah.


So you're going to sit back and do nothing. Let things stay the way they are? That's cool, you certainly have that right and it is your decision to make. (it certainly doesn't seem to be an easy one)


just do us a favor and don't post down the line about how you might be pining for this girl and how you miss her and any regrets of the 'road not taken'. We'll just want to smack the crap outta you.:tongue:

[keithy_19]

So you're going to sit back and do nothing. Let things stay the way they are? That's cool, you certainly have that right and it is your decision to make. (it certainly doesn't seem to be an easy one)


just do us a favor and don't post down the line about how you might be pining for this girl and how you miss her and any regrets of the 'road not taken'. We'll just want to smack the crap outta you.:tongue:

I'm going to be hanging out with her a lot before she leaves, so I'm just going to take it from there. If it feels right, then maybe I do something. Right now, I doubt it's going to unfold like that. But who knows?

And I thought everyone already wanted to smack the crap outta me.

[Justice4all]

I'm going to be hanging out with her a lot before she leaves, so I'm just going to take it from there. If it feels right, then maybe I do something. Right now, I doubt it's going to unfold like that. But who knows?

And I thought everyone already wanted to smack the crap outta me.

Well not as much as would would if you did that I said earlier! :laugh:

And cool....hang with her. Keep talking to her. Like you said...who knows.

[TripleSkeet]

So you're going to sit back and do nothing. Let things stay the way they are? That's cool, you certainly have that right and it is your decision to make. (it certainly doesn't seem to be an easy one)


just do us a favor and don't post down the line about how you might be pining for this girl and how you miss her and any regrets of the 'road not taken'. We'll just want to smack the crap outta you.:tongue:

I dont blame him. Would you try and start a relationship with a girl that was about to move 1 1/2 hours away from you? I wouldnt. Especially if your already friends with the girl. It just seems like the odds of it working out well are too stacked against you from the start.

[keithy_19]

I dont blame him. Would you try and start a relationship with a girl that was about to move 1 1/2 hours away from you? I wouldnt. Especially if your already friends with the girl. It just seems like the odds of it working out well are too stacked against you from the start.

I pretty much agree.

[keithy_19]

I pretty much agree.

Which I guess means I agree with myself. And then when you agreed with me. :huh:

[Justice4all]

Which I guess means I agree with myself. And then when you agreed with me. :huh:

:blink: :wacko: :blink:

[hanso]

Maybe I should not have mocked in this thread. I had dreams of my ex's right afterward.

[keithy_19]

Maybe I should not have mocked in this thread. I had dreams of my ex's right afterward.

Wanna talk about it?

:innocent:

[hanso]

The first one was her leaving. The others where nothing much of anything. I even dream lame sometimes.

[keithy_19]

The first one was her leaving. The others where nothing much of anything. I even dream lame sometimes.

I dream lame all the time. It's pretty bad. They're all just an extension of my waking life. I have dreams where I make myself a bowl of cereal and then I wake up. And when I would dream about my ex it will be dreams of either her walking down the streett holding someone elses hand or us just driving nowhere memorable. Both tend to bum me out. Dreams kind of suck.

Except for dreams about Taylor Swift coming to Thanksgiving dinner:wink:

[TripleSkeet]

I dream lame all the time. It's pretty bad. They're all just an extension of my waking life. I have dreams where I make myself a bowl of cereal and then I wake up. And when I would dream about my ex it will be dreams of either her walking down the streett holding someone elses hand or us just driving nowhere memorable. Both tend to bum me out. Dreams kind of suck.

Except for dreams about Taylor Swift coming to Thanksgiving dinner:wink:

Thats the saddest thing Ive ever heard. Am I the only one that dreams about beating the shit out of 5 guys at once? Or playing pro football? Or fucking my mother in law?

[keithy_19]

Thats the saddest thing Ive ever heard. Am I the only one that dreams about beating the shit out of 5 guys at once? Or playing pro football? Or fucking my mother in law?

It is sad. I used to have fun dreams. They kind of stopped when I was 17. Not sure why. But now my dreams are pointless.

The most interesting dream I've had in some time was a dream where Iyla Kovalchuk got checked into the boards and spit out a piece of his jaw. It was a bloody mess and had me quite shaken when I woke up.

Dream Keith is even more depressing then waking life Keith.

[TripleSkeet]

Thats the saddest thing Ive ever heard. Am I the only one that dreams about beating the shit out of 5 guys at once? Or playing pro football? Or fucking my mother in law?

Real Keithy misses the obvious joke as well. :down:

[Kevin]

:lol::lol::lol:

What a situation youve got Keith. So you like this girl, and she finally starts showing signs she may wanna be more then friends...right before shes moving 1 1/2 hours away? Wow. Good luck making that work, I could never do it.

Another question, have you ever had relationships with girls you werent friends with first? Because to me that just like bizarre. Ive had girls I was friends with that a night would come where we were drinking and would wind up fucking, but it always ended with "Wow, that was fun. Were cool though, right?" and then things went right back to normal.

But if I met a girl and had interest in her, I always made it pretty clear that if we were going out, it was a DATE, not friends hanging out. And if things went well I was making a move. If she didnt want to take it there, it was cool, but that was it, there wasnt going to be any more phone calls or hanging out. There have been girls that tried that and my reply would vary from, "Ive got enough friends, but thanks." to "If I wanted another friend I would buy a dog."

I mean, the girls didnt always agree with that viewpoint but they always respected me for being so honest and up front about it. Have you ever tried just going right for the romantic route instead of trying to be their friend first?



Bingo...

I refuse to do the work of her boyfriend.

Talking on the phone, doing stuff, hearing her problems and then at the end of the day, she goes to him and he bangs her, without having to do the shit he was supposed to be doing and I get nothing.


Fuck that.

It might sound selfish but thats how i feel.

I will take my time and hang with her if she does not have a BF.

But if my time table of when i think it should have gotten to the level of us being in a relationship comes to an end, or she gets a BF, Im done.

Life is too damn short to be putting yourself through that mess.

[weekapaugjz]

Or fucking my mother in law?

how old we talking here?

[keithy_19]

Real Keithy misses the obvious joke as well. :down:

I just assumed your mother-in-law was a lovely lady who you would love to get to know even better. :unsure:

[TripleSkeet]

how old we talking here?

Early 50s. LOL

Bingo...

I refuse to do the work of her boyfriend.

Talking on the phone, doing stuff, hearing her problems and then at the end of the day, she goes to him and he bangs her, without having to do the shit he was supposed to be doing and I get nothing.


Fuck that.

It might sound selfish but thats how i feel.

I will take my time and hang with her if she does not have a BF.

But if my time table of when i think it should have gotten to the level of us being in a relationship comes to an end, or she gets a BF, Im done.

Life is too damn short to be putting yourself through that mess.

Theres nothing selfish at all about that. Its called NOT BEING A SUCKER.