Weddings - North v South

[JimBeam]

I guess the differences in weddings doesn't really have to be North v South as I've been to a few in New England that were also much different than what I was used to in NY.

Just got back from my wife's cousin's wedding in NC and although I've been to southern weddings before I never get over how different they are than New York weddings.

I've only been to a handful in NJ and for the most part their more similar to NY ones than any place else in my opinion.

I guess weddings in NY are just more extravagent ( even those that don't seem like a lot of money was spent on them ).

At least in the south they still believe in open bar.

The few I went to/know of in New England all had cash bars which is a sin.

[Willmore]

I guess the differences in weddings doesn't really have to be North v South as I've been to a few in New England that were also much different than what I was used to in NY.

Just got back from my wife's cousin's wedding in NC and although I've been to southern weddings before I never get over how different they are than New York weddings.

I've only been to a handful in NJ and for the most part their more similar to NY ones than any place else in my opinion.

I guess weddings in NY are just more extravagent ( even those that don't seem like a lot of money was spent on them ).

At least in the south they still believe in open bar.

The few I went to/know of in New England all had cash bars which is a sin.

http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/9403/redneckwedding.jpg

[Furtherman]

At least in the south they still believe in open bar.

The few I went to/know of in New England all had cash bars which is a sin.

Never been to a wedding where there wasn't an open bar, although I have heard about them.

Once difference I've heard, from Southern women, is that the act of giving a check as a gift was considered rude in the south. Whereas up north, that's probably commonly preferred.

[JimBeam]

Yeah the whole gift versus money is always something up for discussion.

We went to my wife's college friends wedding in Newport RI and were giving $250 not at all expecting it to be a cash bar.

So we drop the card in the basket when we walk in and then realize the only cash we have is the little bit I had brought to tip.

We ended up getting cash from somewhere but it blew my mind to be paying $ 4.25 for draft beer at a wedding.

No buybacks either.

WTF

[Furtherman]

Damn. No, that's not right at all.

[Space Edge]

I've also never been to a weeding with a cash bar, It's always open.

[JimBeam]

And I totally understand that many people pay for their own weddings ( my wife and I were fortunate that my MIL had put away money to pay for a wedding or else our wedding wouldn't have been 1/10th of what it was ) and that costs do add up so I'm not even using that in my comparison.

I don't even care if it's just beer and wine, since I'm a beer drinker, but to have cash bar kills it.

[angrymissy]

We paid for our own wedding, and I made SURE there would be full top shelf cash bar. Seriously, people go to weddings and want to drink. I don't know what I'd do if I ended up at a wedding with a cash bar, I don't even bring cash with me. Personally - I think it's tacky to invite guests to an event and expect them to pay for themselves. At LEAST do beer/wine.

[Jujubees2]

I got married in Mass. and at the time (I don't know if it's still this way) the caterer couldn't supply the alcohol, they could only serve it. So we had to buys cases of beer and wine and give it to the caterer to serve at the reception.

We ended up with a case or two of wine/champagne left over (but the beer was gone).

[realmenhatelife]

I dont know a damn thing about weddings and I don't drink, cash bar seems perfectly fine to me. I'm gonna feed you people, I have to get gouged on liqour too? I feel like the only thing I would be comfortable with is buying all the crap myself at legit prices and then hiring a bar tender.

The other thing about me is I dont believe in buying a diamond and I would really be into a girl that wants to keep her own name. I'm single incidentally.

[Furtherman]

I dont know a damn thing about weddings and I don't drink, cash bar seems perfectly fine to me. I'm gonna feed you people, I have to get gouged on liqour too? I feel like the only thing I would be comfortable with is buying all the crap myself at legit prices and then hiring a bar tender.

The other thing about me is I dont believe in buying a diamond and I would really be into a girl that wants to keep her own name. I'm single incidentally.

Yea, your view is a little on the unique side. But the answer for most is yes, we need to be gouged on liquor.

Good luck finding a girl who doesn't mind no diamond! I know they're out there, but they're as rare as pink diamonds.

[RoseBlood]

The worst wedding I've ever been to had a cash bar and it was in Vegas! WTF?!

I understand weddings can be expensive, but when the couple is willing to shell out thousands of dollars on ridiculously large floral centerpieces that take up half the tables to the point their guests can't even see the person they are talking to instead of some liquor so their guests can have a good time, I'd say their priorities are skewed.

[JimBeam]

Realmenhatelife - You've also gotta realize that many couples who get married are expecting a nice gift from their guests so they can't expect something out of the ordinary if the wedding isn't worth it.

I know that doesn't seem right, as a gift should be what it is and I personally don't look at the wedding itself before I decide on my gift, but it does occur.

[TripleSkeet]

We paid for our own wedding, and I made SURE there would be full top shelf cash bar. Seriously, people go to weddings and want to drink. I don't know what I'd do if I ended up at a wedding with a cash bar, I don't even bring cash with me. Personally - I think it's tacky to invite guests to an event and expect them to pay for themselves. At LEAST do beer/wine.

Did you mean open bar?

Ive never been to southern weddings, but every wedding Ive ever been to up here (including my own) was open bar. I could never have my wedding be cash bar. Im a bartender for Gods sake. But I was smart.

One of the bartenders was my friends uncle. I walked into the hall and first thing I did was give him $200. I told him take care of my guests and take care of me tonight. And Id take care of him again at the end with another $200. That meant basically ignoring the "no shots" and "no doubles" rules the hall had in place, and making sure to take care of my bill. We had over 250 people and Id say 75% of them were completely annhilated. I dont even remember what our bill was but the next day we laughed because I knew it shouldve been alot higher.

Those bartenders cleaned up though. Besides what I gave them most of our guests were either in the bar business or old school Italians that knew how to take care of their bartenders. Also, it was a seperate room with no 4th wall blocking it from the main hall, guests could smoke in there so it was packed all night.

Oh, and Ive never given or gotten anything but cash for a wedding gift.

[Dude!]

We had over 250 people and Id say 75% of them were completely annhilated

and a bunch of them
drove home 'annhilated'

reason enough
to have a cash bar

[TripleSkeet]

and a bunch of them
drove home 'annhilated'

reason enough
to have a cash bar

One guy left the wedding, made a right, and promptly rear ended another car 100 feet up the road. Not my problem, I had a limo and my wedding was a blast.

[JimBeam]

and a bunch of them
drove home 'annhilated'

reason enough
to have a cash bar

Also depending on where your wedding is many of your guests, the ones that are gonna party, will more than likely get a hotel room that the married couple will probably have arranged at a cheaper price.

I've been to a few weddings, in hotels, where the married couple had a room arranged for the after party for those staying in the hotel.

Even if I have open bar it's still up to the guests to act accordingly and not put themselves, or others, in harms way.

[realmenhatelife]

Yea, your view is a little on the unique side. But the answer for most is yes, we need to be gouged on liquor.

Good luck finding a girl who doesn't mind no diamond! I know they're out there, but they're as rare as pink diamonds.

Everything about price gouging at a wedding blows my mind, and people put up with it to be traditional.

[Jujubees2]

I dont know a damn thing about weddings and I don't drink, cash bar seems perfectly fine to me. I'm gonna feed you people, I have to get gouged on liqour too? I feel like the only thing I would be comfortable with is buying all the crap myself at legit prices and then hiring a bar tender.

The other thing about me is I dont believe in buying a diamond and I would really be into a girl that wants to keep her own name. I'm single incidentally.

Yea, your view is a little on the unique side. But the answer for most is yes, we need to be gouged on liquor.

Good luck finding a girl who doesn't mind no diamond! I know they're out there, but they're as rare as pink diamonds.

I found one. When we got engaged I told her that I wasn't into this whole diamonds are forever BS. A piece of coal that sat under a lot pr pressure in the ground is supposed to represent my love for her (not to mention the whole blood diamond angle)? We went and bought Claddagh rings as engagement rings.

Oh, and she kept her last name too.

[RoseBlood]

I found one. When we got engaged I told her that I wasn't into this whole diamonds are forever BS. A piece of coal that sat under a lot pr pressure in the ground is supposed to represent my love for her (not to mention the whole blood diamond angle)? We went and bought Claddagh rings as engagement rings.

Oh, and she kept her last name too.

Has the 18k gold coating wore off yet? J/K Congrats!! :clap:

[Jujubees2]

I found one. When we got engaged I told her that I wasn't into this whole diamonds are forever BS. A piece of coal that sat under a lot pr pressure in the ground is supposed to represent my love for her (not to mention the whole blood diamond angle)? We went and bought Claddagh rings as engagement rings.

Oh, and she kept her last name too.

Has the 18k gold coating wore off yet? J/K Congrats!! :clap:

It was 17 years last month and still going strong!

[Dude!]

We went and bought Claddagh rings as engagement rings.


"Wear the ring on the right hand,
the crown turned inwards
and the world may see
the heart is yet unoccupied.

Worn on the right hand,
the crown turned outwards,
and it is clear that
a love is being considered.

But when it is worn on the left hand,
the crown outwards,
the two loves
have become inseparable."

gag me
I'd rather wear coal

[Jujubees2]

"Wear the ring on the right hand,
the crown turned inwards
and the world may see
the heart is yet unoccupied.

Worn on the right hand,
the crown turned outwards,
and it is clear that
a love is being considered.

But when it is worn on the left hand,
the crown outwards,
the two loves
have become inseparable."

gag me
I'd rather wear coal

I'm sure that can be arranged.

[Furtherman]

piece of coal that sat under a lot pr pressure in the ground

When they ask "Where's my diamond?" a good answer is "It's still being made."

[TripleSkeet]

Oh, and she kept her last name too.

Thats awesome that you are going 17 years strong but that right there wouldve been a dealbreaker for me. Do you have kids? If so, what last name do they use?

[Tenbatsuzen]

When you spend money on a wedding, you should spend the most on three things - food/booze, entertainment, and a photographer. The first two help generate the memories, the last one records the memories.

I had a great photographer, an awesome band, and a frozen margarita machine. Throw in the belly dancers and the black revivalist church, and my wife and I had a damn good time.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Thats awesome that you are going 17 years strong but that right there wouldve been a dealbreaker for me. Do you have kids? If so, what last name do they use?

One of my good friends, just to fuck with people, decided to hypenate her name.

She's polish, her husband is italian. The complete name had 11 syllables.

[TripleSkeet]

One of my good friends, just to fuck with people, decided to hypenate her name.

She's polish, her husband is italian. The complete name had 11 syllables.

Thats hilarious. But im betting filling out forms or signing receipts has to suck for her.

[Jujubees2]

Thats awesome that you are going 17 years strong but that right there wouldve been a dealbreaker for me. Do you have kids? If so, what last name do they use?

They have my last name but have her last name as a second middle name (it was a little confusing when filling out the paperwork at the hospital).

[TjM]

That's because NE likes to drink. If I did an open bar at my wedding I would have been fucked

[SinA]

My friend's wedding in Gainesville, FL:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1218/15/63/1116420083/n1116420083_30155071_5815.jpg

[LordJezo]

Weddings are bullshit, I hate almost everything about them, I also hate going to them. People who spend multiple tens of thousands of dollars on what is essentially a big useless party are morons.

For our wedding we invited almost no one, I think there were 18 people there, not even the entire family, and got married in Mexico on a beach. We each brought one friend and only the family we actually know well and see on a regular basis came. Whole thing cost under 8 grand, and that was on the real high end because she decided to get a whole bunch of extra stuff for the ceremony. It was small, intimate, was able to spend time with everyone there instead of having to be rushed around to see 100+ people, and had a great time.

I get especially angry when I hear people say they had to have a big wedding because it was what their parents wanted. That is total garbage, it's your wedding, not your parents, why would you need to do something for them and not have the day that you want?

[TjM]

Ours was pretty small. Maybe 40 people. I think we spend about 4 grand total

[angrymissy]

Yeah, I meant to say OPEN bar, not cash bar.

[Freitag]

I get especially angry when I hear people say they had to have a big wedding because it was what their parents wanted. That is total garbage, it's your wedding, not your parents, why would you need to do something for them and not have the day that you want?

Because what works for you doesn't work for everyone else. That's why all weddings are different.

My wife has a large catholic family, and her parents are divorced. That immediately creates a large wedding situation.

I personally was OK with a small intimate wedding, but my wife wanted her family to be there.

[Jujubees2]

Weddings are bullshit, I hate almost everything about them, I also hate going to them. People who spend multiple tens of thousands of dollars on what is essentially a big useless party are morons.

For our wedding we invited almost no one, I think there were 18 people there, not even the entire family, and got married in Mexico on a beach. We each brought one friend and only the family we actually know well and see on a regular basis came. Whole thing cost under 8 grand, and that was on the real high end because she decided to get a whole bunch of extra stuff for the ceremony. It was small, intimate, was able to spend time with everyone there instead of having to be rushed around to see 100+ people, and had a great time.

I get especially angry when I hear people say they had to have a big wedding because it was what their parents wanted. That is total garbage, it's your wedding, not your parents, why would you need to do something for them and not have the day that you want?

So you outsourced your wedding to a foreign country instead of spending that cash in the good old USA?

[Jujubees2]

Because what works for you doesn't work for everyone else. That's why all weddings are different.

My wife has a large catholic family, and her parents are divorced. That immediately creates a large wedding situation.

I personally was OK with a small intimate wedding, but my wife wanted her family to be there.

Same here. Her parents are divorced and we got married in her mother's hometown so all her relatives were there. as for me, if I hadn't seen/heard from a relative in over a year they were off the list. As such we had maybe 75 people at the wedding which was nice because you were able to see everyone. It was a buffet reception (open bar but only beer and wine) with a four piece band. Don't remember how much we spent but it couldn't have been more than $8-10 grand (in 1993).

[realmenhatelife]

Hypothetical question- if instead of the usual banquet set up if I had a really serious gourmet dinner, maybe even wine on the table to go with the food but all other booze was a cash bar, would people bitch?

[Furtherman]

Hypothetical question- if instead of the usual banquet set up if I had a really serious gourmet dinner, maybe even wine on the table to go with the food but all other booze was a cash bar, would people bitch?

Yes.

Not everyone drinks wine.

[TripleSkeet]

Weddings are bullshit, I hate almost everything about them, I also hate going to them. People who spend multiple tens of thousands of dollars on what is essentially a big useless party are morons.

For our wedding we invited almost no one, I think there were 18 people there, not even the entire family, and got married in Mexico on a beach. We each brought one friend and only the family we actually know well and see on a regular basis came. Whole thing cost under 8 grand, and that was on the real high end because she decided to get a whole bunch of extra stuff for the ceremony. It was small, intimate, was able to spend time with everyone there instead of having to be rushed around to see 100+ people, and had a great time.

I get especially angry when I hear people say they had to have a big wedding because it was what their parents wanted. That is total garbage, it's your wedding, not your parents, why would you need to do something for them and not have the day that you want?


Thats great that it worked for you, but that doesnt mean that other ways are automatically wrong. In some ways I agree but others I dont....

I have a big family, and tons of friends. My wife does too, and her parents are divorced. Both her parents and mine pitched in for the wedding, and we paid what was left. But I was adamant that I wasnt cutting out anyone just to save money, and didnt want my wife to either. If she wanted a person invited, then we invited them. Both our parents only had a short list of friends they wanted us to invite so we invited them too. In the end it worked out fine as we made ALOT of money off of our wedding, and alot of people told me it was the wildest, most fun (and for some people, drunkest) wedding theyd ever been to. That for me made everything more then worth it.

Now my friend did the opposite and cut out just about all his friends in order to make room for his wifes parents friends. And since he was paying for most of the wedding he had to set a strict limit. Its a shame because we are both in the bar business and I know by not inviting those friends (including me) he cost himself a shitload of money and actually lost money when everything was said and done. All that and he offended alot of people that have since stopped talking to him. I didnt because I knew the real story where he never explained it to the others.

[TjM]

If I had an open bar people would still be there 7 years later. I'm Irish Catholic and grew up in Boston. Drinking is a way of life out there

[Earlshog]

So you outsourced your wedding to a foreign country instead of spending that cash in the good old USA?

Wait till Morken finds out about this!

[CountryBob]

My buddy spent over $15,000 - just on the open bar.

[angrymissy]

Hypothetical question- if instead of the usual banquet set up if I had a really serious gourmet dinner, maybe even wine on the table to go with the food but all other booze was a cash bar, would people bitch?

Yup. At least do beer and wine.

[angrymissy]

My open bar was included in the per person price, it was just a matter of top shelf or not (it was like a $5/pp difference).

I did my wedding (135 people) for $11k 4 years ago, simply by negotiating with the hall and having it in March rather than high wedding season. It was around $95/pp when the same place in September was $250/pp.

[realmenhatelife]

Yup. At least do beer and wine.

I think I'm just going to do it my way and if anyone bitches they get cut loose. People are insane.

[Furtherman]

I think I'm just going to do it my way and if anyone bitches they get cut loose. People are insane.

They're not insane, it's just the way most weddings are run. People will bitch about an open bar, on the way there, whispering at the reception, and on the way home. I'm sure close family members will understand, but for most others, it's a chance to get away for a few hours and have a party.

[TripleSkeet]

I think I'm just going to do it my way and if anyone bitches they get cut loose. People are insane.

Depnds on your friends. I knew every envelope I was getting that day was going to have at least $150 / per couple. I couldnt see not having an open bar when I knew I had money like that coming in.

[JimBeam]

My open bar was included in the per person price, it was just a matter of top shelf or not (it was like a $5/pp difference).

I did my wedding (135 people) for $11k 4 years ago, simply by negotiating with the hall and having it in March rather than high wedding season. It was around $95/pp when the same place in September was $250/pp.

I think this is the case in most places.

There's a difference between open bar for the guests and open bar for the couple.

Meaning per Missy a lot of places factor the booze into the total per person which means it's open bar regardless.

But you may have a place where the guests can get whatever they want but the bartender is tallying everything and is then billing the couple based on that.

That appears to be how the wedding I went to this weekend was handled because the bartender was scribling down everything.

[sailor]

But you may have a place where the guests can get whatever they want but the bartender is tallying everything and is then billing the couple based on that.

That appears to be how the wedding I went to this weekend was handled because the bartender was scribling down everything.

yeah, i think that was what TS was talking about as well. i've never seen one that way myself.

[TjM]

You people just don't get Boston

[TjM]

It was a city found on an oceon of liquer

[JimBeam]

I've been to open bar weddings in New Orleans with college kids in attendance and I'm sure we could've kept up w/ anybody in Boston so it's not like it's that big of a regional issue.

[TripleSkeet]

yeah, i think that was what TS was talking about as well. i've never seen one that way myself.

Yea thats it. Just like a regular bar, you take care of the bartender, and he will take care of you.

[RoseBlood]

Taken from another thread:

This break on drinking is doing nothing for me.

my reception will at least have a cash bar.

I dont drink, my gf doesnt drink, so if you drink fucking pay for it.

I think it would be kinda selfish as someone who doesn’t eat read meat to not offer a beef entrée as an option to guests at my wedding.

If the majority of my guests are meat eaters, is it fair to only offer vegetarian dishes? If they chose a meat dish, they’d have to pay for it themselves?

I understand it’s the bride and the grooms decision to do whatever the fuck they want because they are paying for it, but just thought I’d throw that out there.

[Furtherman]

Originally Posted by biggestmexi
This break on drinking is doing nothing for me.

my reception will at least have a cash bar.

I dont drink, my gf doesnt drink, so if you drink fucking pay for it.

Yea, that's a nasty holier-than-thou attitude. So much for accommodating the guests.

[realmenhatelife]

Yea, that's a nasty holier-than-thou attitude. So much for accommodating the guests.

What bugs me though is the open bar seems to be the biggest sticking point. I imagine when planning a wedding you've already done an insane ammount of accomodating, it hardly seems fair that by not doing one thing you're being a combative host. It seems to be the only thing people care about, like they're only showing up to get completely blasted.

I hate being around drunk people and I can only imagine how much more I would hate it knowing how overpriced everything is, and even worse if I tried to be classy and was using top tier booze, theres definately a point it really doesn't matter anymore what a person is drinking.

I do think theres a point where you have to be unaccomodating. Of course you want to do what you can for your guests, but this is different than throwing a BBQ and buying a few cases of beer. There are plenty of requests people could make of you where noone would have a problem with you saying "Cmon man, this is my wedding, I can't do that." I dont understand why open bar isn't one of them.

[angrymissy]

I think this is the case in most places.

There's a difference between open bar for the guests and open bar for the couple.

Meaning per Missy a lot of places factor the booze into the total per person which means it's open bar regardless.

But you may have a place where the guests can get whatever they want but the bartender is tallying everything and is then billing the couple based on that.

That appears to be how the wedding I went to this weekend was handled because the bartender was scribling down everything.

Yeah, I would NOT agree to any type of open bar that wasn't a flat price per person. I can see getting charged by the drink getting WAY out of hand, especially with my family.

Shit, at my bridal shower, which was at noon on a Sunday, my sister threw it for me. So she goes to me, "hey, I'll let people order drinks, how much are people going to drink at a Sunday lunch anyway?". There were maybe 25 women there and she ended up with a $1k bar tab. I felt really shitty.

[angrymissy]

Taken from another thread:

I think it would be kinda selfish as someone who doesn’t eat read meat to not offer a beef entrée as an option to guests at my wedding.

If the majority of my guests are meat eaters, is it fair to only offer vegetarian dishes? If they chose a meat dish, they’d have to pay for it themselves?

I understand it’s the bride and the grooms decision to do whatever the fuck they want because they are paying for it, but just thought I’d throw that out there.

I agree - plus a wedding is also thrown for your GUESTS, not just YOU. Personally, I wanted my guests to have a great time... otherwise, what's the point?

Plus, everyone is going to be talking MAD SHIT about what a crap wedding it is if there is cash bar, it's rude, sure, but it will happen.

[angrymissy]

What bugs me though is the open bar seems to be the biggest sticking point. I imagine when planning a wedding you've already done an insane ammount of accomodating, it hardly seems fair that by not doing one thing you're being a combative host. It seems to be the only thing people care about, like they're only showing up to get completely blasted.

I hate being around drunk people and I can only imagine how much more I would hate it knowing how overpriced everything is, and even worse if I tried to be classy and was using top tier booze, theres definately a point it really doesn't matter anymore what a person is drinking.

I do think theres a point where you have to be unaccomodating. Of course you want to do what you can for your guests, but this is different than throwing a BBQ and buying a few cases of beer. There are plenty of requests people could make of you where noone would have a problem with you saying "Cmon man, this is my wedding, I can't do that." I dont understand why open bar isn't one of them.

There are ways around it. Like, don't do open bar, but offer beer and wine. Don't do full open bar, but offer a specialty drink or something. Only do open bar for an hour...

The thing is, you want your guests to have a good time. If you're having a really small wedding, and know most of your guests, you can get around things like that. If you're having a lot of people, they are going to expect food and booze.

Also, I didn't really accommodate shit for my wedding. You just have to put your foot down. I got A LOT of flack for deciding I wanted no kids (besides the flower girl/ring bearer) at my wedding. People flip their shit when you don't want their precious demonspawn at a wedding. My biggest concern was making sure everyone would have a good time.

[Furtherman]

What bugs me though is the open bar seems to be the biggest sticking point. I imagine when planning a wedding you've already done an insane ammount of accomodating, it hardly seems fair that by not doing one thing you're being a combative host. It seems to be the only thing people care about, like they're only showing up to get completely blasted.
I hate being around drunk people and I can only imagine how much more I would hate it knowing how overpriced everything is, and even worse if I tried to be classy and was using top tier booze, theres definately a point it really doesn't matter anymore what a person is drinking.

I do think theres a point where you have to be unaccommodating. Of course you want to do what you can for your guests, but this is different than throwing a BBQ and buying a few cases of beer. There are plenty of requests people could make of you where noone would have a problem with you saying "Cmon man, this is my wedding, I can't do that." I dont understand why open bar isn't one of them.

You answered your own query. Seriously? Do you know people in general? With the exception of family members who actually like the two people getting married, people go to weddings to get blasted. That's how it's always been. Hell, Jesus turned water into WINE for christ's sake to keep the party going. Whether they're single looking to hook up or have a family and can get away from the kids, people want to party. Thinking that it's all about you is kind of naive, or maybe you just haven't been to enough weddings.

Don't get me wrong, you have the final say and that's legit, but to be unaccommodating just because you don't feel the way most others do, will come out in that event.

[Furtherman]

I got A LOT of flack for deciding I wanted no kids (besides the flower girl/ring bearer) at my wedding. People flip their shit when you don't want their precious demonspawn at a wedding. My biggest concern was making sure everyone would have a good time.

That was a great move. I can remember two weddings I was at where the bride actually turned towards the congregation with glaring eyes because someone had their demonspawn crying during the ceremony, and they just sat there, rocking them back and forth. It was only when the bride looked at them when they took them outside. Unbelievable.

[angrymissy]

That was a great move. I can remember two weddings I was at where the bride actually turned towards the congregation with glaring eyes because someone had their demonspawn crying during the ceremony, and they just sat there, rocking them back and forth. It was only when the bride looked at them when they took them outside. Unbelievable.

Yup, exactly what I wanted to avoid. Then I caught shit because people with kids saw there were 3 kids there (Flower girl, 2 ring bearers). Tough shitties. They were in the wedding so they got to stay, plus, they are my much younger cousins, and I know my Uncle does not take any shit, so they would be well behaved.

I was at a wedding a few months ago where an infant was in the front row and the mother was in the wedding party. The infant was screeching during the ceremony, and the mother (who was standing at the front), was LEANING OVER AND MOUTHING AND MAKING FACES AT HER BABY. During the ceremony. While she was standing up front. I have no idea why they didn't just walk the baby out until it stopped crying. It was the most bizarre thing I'd ever seen.

[A.J.]

Children should be banned from everything.

[Jujubees2]

TAlso, I didn't really accommodate shit for my wedding. You just have to put your foot down. I got A LOT of flack for deciding I wanted no kids (besides the flower girl/ring bearer) at my wedding. People flip their shit when you don't want their precious demonspawn at a wedding. My biggest concern was making sure everyone would have a good time.

My wife's cousin insanely decided that kids were okay at the church and at the cocktail hour but not for dinner. So after the cocktail hour I had to drive the kids 45 minutes to my brother's house so he could watch them (with a stop at the hotel for the kids to change) and the drive back to the reception where my dinner plate had been sitting at my seat for over a half hour and was cold. My wife wondered why I was pissed.

[TripleSkeet]

Also, I didn't really accommodate shit for my wedding. You just have to put your foot down. I got A LOT of flack for deciding I wanted no kids (besides the flower girl/ring bearer) at my wedding. People flip their shit when you don't want their precious demonspawn at a wedding. My biggest concern was making sure everyone would have a good time.

Really? I did the same thing and didnt hear one peep about it from anyone. I thought I would and was going to explain that I had alot of guests that planned on drinking and I didnt want kids being around that.

What bugs me though is the open bar seems to be the biggest sticking point. I imagine when planning a wedding you've already done an insane ammount of accomodating, it hardly seems fair that by not doing one thing you're being a combative host. It seems to be the only thing people care about, like they're only showing up to get completely blasted.

Like what? All you have to do is feed them, have drinks for them, and make sure theres music. How else are you accomodating them?

[angrymissy]

My wife's cousin insanely decided that kids were okay at the church and at the cocktail hour but not for dinner. So after the cocktail hour I had to drive the kids 45 minutes to my brother's house so he could watch them (with a stop at the hotel for the kids to change) and the drive back to the reception where my dinner plate had been sitting at my seat for over a half hour and was cold. My wife wondered why I was pissed.

OK, well that's just a pain in the ass. Decide kids or no kids, but not that BS! That's almost like they WANTED to make it a pain in the ass.

[Jujubees2]

OK, well that's just a pain in the ass. Decide kids or no kids, but not that BS! That's almost like they WANTED to make it a pain in the ass.

Exactly, that's what I told my wife. Even if they said kids were okay for church and not the cocktail hour I could buy that but to have to leave just as they were serving dinner sucker.

[TripleSkeet]

My wife's cousin insanely decided that kids were okay at the church and at the cocktail hour but not for dinner. So after the cocktail hour I had to drive the kids 45 minutes to my brother's house so he could watch them (with a stop at the hotel for the kids to change) and the drive back to the reception where my dinner plate had been sitting at my seat for over a half hour and was cold. My wife wondered why I was pissed.

Total dick move.

Another dick move? Getting married on a holiday like New Years Eve. I HATE that. To me its one of the most selfish inconsiderate things you can do. Now I know some people are like "well the people that show up show they are our real friends and thats I care about being there" but what about the dates for those people? One of my wifes best friends got married on New Years Eve. She was in the wedding, I knew NOBODY but the bride. Worst wedding and worst New Years of my life. I had to make it clear I dont care who it is we will never again go to another wedding thats on a holiday.

[Furtherman]

Total dick move.

Another dick move? Getting married on a holiday like New Years Eve. I HATE that. To me its one of the most selfish inconsiderate things you can do. Now I know some people are like "well the people that show up show they are our real friends and thats I care about being there" but what about the dates for those people? One of my wifes best friends got married on New Years Eve. She was in the wedding, I knew NOBODY but the bride. Worst wedding and worst New Years of my life. I had to make it clear I dont care who it is we will never again go to another wedding thats on a holiday.

Yea, those stink too.


"Destination" weddings are crazy expensive too. I had a family member do one, but I was happy to do that, because it was a whole week and it was more of a vacation with a wedding thrown in one afternoon.

Others, I've had friends invite me down to some island for two days. Very expensive and not enough time to enjoy the tropics. Those were declined.

[CountryBob]

I love the term "precious demonspawn" - it makes so much sense!:clap:

[sailor]

At least with the destination weddings, they understand a lot (most) people can't go and can't be upset about it. Unless they're truly crazy.

And just because the kids were allowed for the early stages of the night didn't mean you had to actually bring them.