Why are some people such poor listeners?

[Death Metal Moe]

No specific event sparked this thought, just a general observation that probably came back into my mind because I've been taking a night class. But it's something I've noticed for a long time and a skill I've been trying to improve my whole life.

I've noticed A LOT of people are just awful, awful listeners. I REALLY try my best to be an effective listener for 2 reasons:

1. You can learn something from just about anyone if you give them the chance to say something interesting.

2. It's PART OF A FUCKING CONVERSATION. Speaking then listening to the other person's thoughts.

I see people who ask a question and then instead of listening for the answer, they plow over the person they asked with what they think the right answer is. So they don't really want to have a conversation they want you to validate what they thought was the right answer.

Then there are the kind of people who just don't shut the fuck up. Blah blah blah me me me. I have a friend who gets like this from time to time and when they are in that "me me me" mode I don't return their calls for a few days. When I do if I find all they want to so is relate what's been going on in their life, it becomes a 5 minute call tops.

Anyone else agree? Disagree? Have anything else to add?

[Fallon]

I went to a union meeting yesterday morning and afterward some guys I was talking too were confused on whats going on and I had to explain it.

If they just paid attention they would be informed!

[Recyclerz]

Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What were you typing?

[SinA]

Why are some people suuh poor spellers?

[Kevin]

I went to a union meeting yesterday morning and afterward some guys I was talking too were confused on whats going on and I had to explain it.

If they just paid attention they would be informed!

Was your Union meeting like this?

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[Crossweird]

I went to a union meeting yesterday morning and afterward some guys I was talking too were confused on whats going on and I had to explain it.

If they just paid attention they would be informed!

So Fallon was eating an onion yesterday morning, and some gays had contusions, so he just had to exclaim.

[torker]

what?

[Furtherman]

Those who are bad listeners are waiting for their time to talk in the conversation, instead of listening.

[S0S]

I see people who ask a question and then instead of listening for the answer, they plow over the person they asked with what they think the right answer is. So they don't really want to have a conversation they want you to validate what they thought was the right answer.

hmm. :innocent:

That's not you but someone you know...

[hanso]

Why are some people suuh poor spellers?

It's good to see others screw up starting thread titles also. I've had my fair share. Once it's done that's it.

[Death Metal Moe]

Well I had hoped to have a somewhat serious discussion about people who are annoying to talk to, but after I fucked up the thread title I pretty much abandoned this thread.

[Hottub]

I'll get you back on track.

Some people are stubborn and need to get there point out (right, wrong or otherwise) that they have no time to listen to another side of the arguement.
Sad really. You could learn something.

[Death Metal Moe]

Thank you for fixing my dumb typo.

I really just wanted to make the point that listening is half of a conversation and if you're not at least decent at it you're never having conversations. I fucking hate people who talk AT you instead of WITH you.

I've learned a lot by listening. It's also what your friends need sometimes, just someone to listen. Listening is an overlooked skill.

[smiler grogan]

The people who are close to me that i consider bad listeners seem to think they already have all the information. They think to themselves why bother listening to some schmuck who is just telling them what they think they already know. It's pure arrogance in my experience.

[SinA]

Well I had hoped to have a somewhat serious discussion about people who are annoying to talk to, but after I fucked up the thread title I pretty much abandoned this thread.

I'm with you Moe on the listening and whatnot, but a typo like that can't go unquoted.

[torker]

Most people don't listen because they are just waiting to say what they want to say.

[STC-Dub]

I am guilty of being a bad listener at times. My wife always tries talking to me while I am working when I am concentrating on something else. I actually think people think they are too busy to have conversations anymore.

[Recyclerz]

Well I had hoped to have a somewhat serious discussion about people who are annoying to talk to, but after I fucked up the thread title I pretty much abandoned this thread.

Well, if you're going to be serious about it, I'm going to follow Chris Rock and blame the media. We all, consciously or not, pick up behavioral clues from watching TV & internet videos and listening to the radio. Since most successful media types and politicians have figured out that being constantly on broadcast, shouting down others and mocking out anybody who disagrees is the route to influence and riches, they get all the wannabes to imitate the schtick. The only media people I'm aware of that actually have intelligent discussions on air are Ronnie, Charlie Rose, Jon Stewart (sometimes) and some NPR types on the radio. All the rest are Limbaugh/Hannity/Olberman diatribe generators or Letterman/Leno types just waiting for an appropriate time to drop a funny line in. We all follow along at one speed or another.