Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

[furie]

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender. (http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm)

[Death Metal Moe]

http://unambig.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/mr_fusion.jpg

[furie]

I was hoping that John Titor was back

[Death Metal Moe]

At least he was honest, safety not guaranteed.

[StanUpshaw]

So hanso's real name is Eloi. Huh.

[StanUpshaw]

This appears to be a phony April Fool's story, btw.

[dereckfishboy]

Bah, a two week old april fools joke

[Chigworthy]

I must be from the future, because I distinctly remember a thread about this earlier this month, but I can't find it. The Bildeberg Silka must have erased it.

[CaptainBlowhole]

I guess its going to take a while for technology to be effected by anything they discover at the ol' collider.

[hanso]

So hanso's real name is Eloi. Huh.

Piss off

[Death Metal Moe]

Piss off

That's not a denial.

[CaptainBlowhole]

Imagine if this is legit? What would we really do if a person from the future showed up? How would he legitimately deal with it?

[spoon]

I was hoping that John Titor was back

Nice call back.

I was thinking Jerry from Mars would have the d-low on this too.

[brettmojo]

You know... This guy sounds strangely like the guy who keeps trying to steal my trapper keeper.

[PapaBear]

This appears to be a phony April Fool's story, btw.
What? Next thing you know, you'll be telling us that there really isn't going to be a Star Wars comedy cartoon!:ohmy:

[StanUpshaw]

Imagine if this is legit? What would we really do if a person from the future showed up? How would he legitimately deal with it?

He would start a YouTube channel, and immediately there will be a few hansoesque halfwits who will buy in because they're eager to believe anything. Assuming he can actually make some predictions*, he'll eventually get big enough to attract the debunkers. If he can win Randi's $1,000,000 (http://www.randi.org/site/index.php/1m-challenge.html), then he'll have every media outlet across the globe banging on his door.

*Which might be hard to do -- I'd be hard pressed to remember who the sports champions were ten years ago, let alone what happened week to week. I can't remember who died when. Obviously there are some big things like the elections, but as far as specifics? Florida had a recount and Bush won...not exactly compelling.




That whole scenario is assuming they just took some jerk off the street and sent him back with a note pinned to his jacket. But why, if we're taking the trouble to go back in time, would we not send the best possible candidate and coach him with all the knowledge he'd need to get a sitdown with the people in charge? Who knows, there might even be a protocol already written up for dealing with time travelers, including a prearranged code to verify that someone's from the future. If we don't have one, we should. But in any case, there is more than enough information to prove beyond doubt that you have knowledge of future events.

[CaptainBlowhole]

You are right, I wouldn't remember sports scores from a year or so either, let alone if the time traveler was from like 100 years in the future. Basically, if I wandered into some time portal that brought me back to Lincolns time with just me and no gadgets, I doubt I could really convince people I am from the future.

[Crossweird]

This appears to be a phony April Fool's story, btw.

The name was the giveaway. Weren't the Eloi the people in the HG Wells story?

And I think Cole was Bruce Willis's name in 12 Monkeys. But that one I'm not so sure about.

[Charlie_Don't_Surf]

He's from the future? Thank god, that means the hadron doesn't actually kill us.

[Tenbatsuzen]

The name was the giveaway. Weren't the Eloi the people in the HG Wells story?

And I think Cole was Bruce Willis's name in 12 Monkeys. But that one I'm not so sure about.

Correct on both, I was just about to post that.

[Tenbatsuzen]

You are right, I wouldn't remember sports scores from a year or so either, let alone if the time traveler was from like 100 years in the future. Basically, if I wandered into some time portal that brought me back to Lincolns time with just me and no gadgets, I doubt I could really convince people I am from the future.

"You may want to have extra police in Fords theatre. Just sayin'."

[King Imp]

Did he look anything like this?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/tmimp67/jakebuseycontact.jpg

[Judge Smails]

Fuckin' Goo Backs. They took our jobs!

[Tenbatsuzen]

Did he look anything like this?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/tmimp67/jakebuseycontact.jpg

GOD DAMN IT MOOSEN, I WAS GONNA GO WITH THE FUCKING SHOULDA SENT A POET LINE

[underdog]

Fuckin' Goo Backs. They took our jobs!

DER TOOK OUR JEERRRBSS!

[brettmojo]

Fuckin' Goo Backs. They took our jobs!

DER TOOK OUR JEERRRBSS!
DERK a DERRBBB!!!

[ChimneyFish]

The Bildeberg Silka must have erased it.



That Mr. Grave is a real sonofabitch.

[SatCam]

He mustve use some sort of............................. hot tub time machine


http://scifiwire.com/assets_c/2009/08/hot_tub_time_machine-thumb-550x311-21971.jpg

[CaptainBlowhole]

Imagine if we held the future hostage by threatening to destroy the world at midnight and the only way to stop it would be if future people showed up?
But then, I guess that might be an anomaly because how could there be a future if we blew up the world?

[Furtherman]

Some old man started my car. How'd he do that?

[Furtherman]

http://www.howtobearetronaut.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Lets-Say-Youve-Gone-Back-in-Time.jpg

[brettmojo]

Imagine if we held the future hostage by threatening to destroy the world at midnight and the only way to stop it would be if future people showed up?
But then, I guess that might be an anomaly because how could there be a future if we blew up the world?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7E8OcymhcXs/R7JdCCIMQjI/AAAAAAAAAlU/C0p8Ud6QeIA/s400/southpark101_2D771689.jpg