spainlinx0
03-10-2010, 04:30 AM
Comedy pyramid... more like comedy tearamid.
That was really uncomfortable, but as usual it always goes back to Fezzie's fear in life. I think it's time we addressed his fears head on, in a Fezzie Fear Week Feztravaganza.
Each day Fezzie will conquer one of his fears on the air. No longer will we only hear about his panic, we will hear it, laugh, and then watch in awe as he finally overcomes all his little phobias in a Ron and Fez exclusive event. This is no summer of Earl, this is Fezzie Fear Week Feztravaganza.
Monday - Electric Elevator - We listen as Fez gets on an elevator, and rides it for one straight hour, and not in his safe corner. We watch, through Twideos, the Fezzie fear face that Ronnie has described for us so perfectly in the past. As the minutes go by, Fezzie succumbs to his fear, madness ensues, but he perseveres, and then finally, Fez realizes, it's just a fucking elevator, and emerges laughing as he talks to strangers while other people not in the conversation, listen in creepily.
Tuesday - Bridge Bonanza - We follow Fez as he walks across a bridge, holding only a steering wheel in his hand. He makes one pass walking, walks back, stands in the middle of the bridge and stairs down at a watery grave for 20 minutes, before completing his return trip. Then, he drives over the bridge, with ESD taunting him the entire way, yelling at him, poking at him, distracting him from his potential death. Daredevil Fez wonders why he ever was scared of bridges at all after riding with the insane ginger giant.
Wednesday - Toenail Terror - Fez brings his toenails on air, and destroys them in a fire. This one isn't too exciting, and maybe it isn't much of a fear, but the craziness has to end as well as the fear. Also, it gives him a little breathing room for Wednesday night.
Thursday - Hooker Holiday - This one can be done off the air because no one wants to hear this. Fez finally pops that cherry. It is arranged by the boys who will find him a suitable companion. There is no chickening out. If it takes all night, so be it, no matter the cost. Thursday he regales us with his tale of conquest, sparing most of the shitty details.
Friday - Severed Secret - Fez flies up his mother and father. In front of a live studio (or just on-air, stupid Sirius security) audience, Fez finally breaks the secret to his parents. As the cavalcade of chants of "Fezzie" fill the room, Fez looks his mother dead in the eye, and ends the years of torment, the years of rejection, the years of mental (and hose) abuse and lets it fly. He soaks in his mother's shameful tears with pride, knowing that he no longer needs her acceptance. His life is his to live, and Mother's Day is cancelled this year, and every year forward.
Fez is back.
That was really uncomfortable, but as usual it always goes back to Fezzie's fear in life. I think it's time we addressed his fears head on, in a Fezzie Fear Week Feztravaganza.
Each day Fezzie will conquer one of his fears on the air. No longer will we only hear about his panic, we will hear it, laugh, and then watch in awe as he finally overcomes all his little phobias in a Ron and Fez exclusive event. This is no summer of Earl, this is Fezzie Fear Week Feztravaganza.
Monday - Electric Elevator - We listen as Fez gets on an elevator, and rides it for one straight hour, and not in his safe corner. We watch, through Twideos, the Fezzie fear face that Ronnie has described for us so perfectly in the past. As the minutes go by, Fezzie succumbs to his fear, madness ensues, but he perseveres, and then finally, Fez realizes, it's just a fucking elevator, and emerges laughing as he talks to strangers while other people not in the conversation, listen in creepily.
Tuesday - Bridge Bonanza - We follow Fez as he walks across a bridge, holding only a steering wheel in his hand. He makes one pass walking, walks back, stands in the middle of the bridge and stairs down at a watery grave for 20 minutes, before completing his return trip. Then, he drives over the bridge, with ESD taunting him the entire way, yelling at him, poking at him, distracting him from his potential death. Daredevil Fez wonders why he ever was scared of bridges at all after riding with the insane ginger giant.
Wednesday - Toenail Terror - Fez brings his toenails on air, and destroys them in a fire. This one isn't too exciting, and maybe it isn't much of a fear, but the craziness has to end as well as the fear. Also, it gives him a little breathing room for Wednesday night.
Thursday - Hooker Holiday - This one can be done off the air because no one wants to hear this. Fez finally pops that cherry. It is arranged by the boys who will find him a suitable companion. There is no chickening out. If it takes all night, so be it, no matter the cost. Thursday he regales us with his tale of conquest, sparing most of the shitty details.
Friday - Severed Secret - Fez flies up his mother and father. In front of a live studio (or just on-air, stupid Sirius security) audience, Fez finally breaks the secret to his parents. As the cavalcade of chants of "Fezzie" fill the room, Fez looks his mother dead in the eye, and ends the years of torment, the years of rejection, the years of mental (and hose) abuse and lets it fly. He soaks in his mother's shameful tears with pride, knowing that he no longer needs her acceptance. His life is his to live, and Mother's Day is cancelled this year, and every year forward.
Fez is back.