I did a stupid thing...

[Chainsaw]

I re-connected with an old flame this past month. Not in a romantic way, just a "let's catch up since we haven't talked in years" way...

She told me about how she was about a month out of a relationship with a guy who turned out to be an alcoholic and violent towards her... this was a few day's before Valentine's day... I thought it would be a nice thing to get her some flowers (orchids) delivered to her.

Haven't heard a peep from her since, and I'm starting to think I did something wrong. In my mind I'm trying to figure out the possible scenarios:

1). she never got them
2). she got them and she thought it was a profession of love (we dated long enough for her to know that I get my mom and sister Valentine's presents every year...plus they were $25 orchids, not a huge bouquet)
3). she's an ungrateful bitch

I really want to believe that #3 is the answer, but I'm thinking she's thinking #2....and I now i just feel dumb...:flush:

[TeeBone]

...She told me about how she was about a month out of a relationship with a guy who turned out to be an alcoholic and violent towards her...
Haven't heard a peep from her since, and I'm starting to think I did something wrong.....she never got them...she thought it was a profession of love...she's an ungrateful bitch.....
i just feel dumb...:flush:

Oh she got em' alright, Chainsaw. Odds are, you'll never hear from her again. She probably got one look and started thinking back to the alcoholic that beat her.
I'm sorry, Chainsaw. I'm sorry.

[epo]

I would guess that she unfortunately took it as #2.

Sorry budday, I hope I'm wrong.

[STC-Dub]

It is not one. I do not know her so it is probably not 3. It could be two or it could be she is not sure what it means.

[Fallon]

Maybe she's just busy watching the Olympics.

[jennysmurf]

You freaked her out. You may hear from her again, but she's got to rally the troops and figure out how to handle the situation. It all depends how she felt after seeing you again.

[Melk]

It could be she is not sure what it means.
I think you are right. She may think you were throwing your love at her on the rebound.

Your mention of the previous relationship and the girl's current relationship status says a lot about your understanding of the "risk" you took in sending flowers in the first place.

[mikeyboy]

If you're not interested in her romantically, it shouldn't matter, and you probably shouldn't care too much. Just send her an "Sorry if you took it the wrong way" e-mail.

[Willmore]

You know how you can fix this? Send her some chocolates along with two tickets to Fiji and a reservation at the honeymoon suite of a romantic getaway resort. She can't possibly that it the wrong way, it's just a gesture of consolation about a recent break-up, right?

Yeah, that was really stupid. Sending flowers any other day would have been on the fence, but sending them on that day just sends the wrong message.


Still, who cares, if it's a chick from the past, and you have no interest, it shouldn't matter.

[keithy_19]

If you're not interested in her romantically, it shouldn't matter, and you probably shouldn't care too much. Just send her an "Sorry if you took it the wrong way" e-mail.

This.

[pappie]

Why didn't you just make your intent clear on the card that accompanied the flowers?

[Chainsaw]

thanks guys-

as re: the card- It said "Glad to hear things are going better for you, you deserve a good year!"

I guess i felt safe doing it for the fact that it's been 4 years since we broke up and she lives in Seattle, and I live in NC. That, and I had been asking her for advice on how to get with a girl in my yoga class!!

I think all i really wanted to hear was thank you, but I'll just send her an email apologizing that she took it the wrong way...bleh...:wallbash:

[sailor]

so, were you giving her the gift for her enjoyment, or to get a thank you?

[Chainsaw]

for her enjoyment...

I had dated this one girl who took it really bad when we broke up...she left nursing school, had to take a semester off, went home to live with her mom...bad.

She still sends me a birthday card every year, and sent flowers when she heard my dad was sick. I don't look at these gestures as "I'm still so madly in love with you", more "You were special to me, and I care about you as a person". I always let her know that I got her card and say thank you for thinking of me, aside from that, she and I email maybe 2 or 3 times a year. I just wouldn't feel right if I never let her know that I got her card or whatever...

I agree with everyone...I just needed to confess that I did a stupid thing...

[sailor]

May have been a mix of 2 and 3. Not sure how to take it, so just not bringing it up.

[CYYYFYYY]

You know how you can fix this? Send her some chocolates along with two tickets to Fiji and a reservation at the honeymoon suite of a romantic getaway resort. She can't possibly that it the wrong way, it's just a gesture of consolation about a recent break-up, right?

Yeah, that was really stupid. Sending flowers any other day would have been on the fence, but sending them on that day just sends the wrong message.


Still, who cares, if it's a chick from the past, and you have no interest, it shouldn't matter.


Agree 100 percent

[Sinestro]

I kinda did the same thing during Christmas time. I believe the answer to mine is 3. that ungrateful bitch.

[disneyspy]

so what the fuck happened? did you get a return email? a call? what!?!

[SatCam]

so what the fuck happened? did you get a return email? a call? what!?!

theyre engaged to be married

[disneyspy]

theyre engaged to be married

son of a bitch,i missed that

congrats chainsaw and miss manners!

[RADIO-SHARK]

you...:devil2:

[hanso]

I once counted how many licks it took to get to the center of a tootsie pop when I was a young lad.

From what I remember it took close to 1 mil. licks. And it took me most of a day

[Poochie]

I did not read anyone else's response's..but, you just need to give this time. Being a woman, I will say that this girl is freaked out at the moment, and questioning your every move. It may seem sweet and innocent to you, but I guarantee that she is wondering what you are up to. I obviously have no idea what your alternate motives are, but be slow and sweet about it, if you are seriously wanting to be with with her ok?

I re-connected with an old flame this past month. Not in a romantic way, just a "let's catch up since we haven't talked in years" way...

She told me about how she was about a month out of a relationship with a guy who turned out to be an alcoholic and violent towards her... this was a few day's before Valentine's day... I thought it would be a nice thing to get her some flowers (orchids) delivered to her.

Haven't heard a peep from her since, and I'm starting to think I did something wrong. In my mind I'm trying to figure out the possible scenarios:

1). she never got them
2). she got them and she thought it was a profession of love (we dated long enough for her to know that I get my mom and sister Valentine's presents every year...plus they were $25 orchids, not a huge bouquet)
3). she's an ungrateful bitch

I really want to believe that #3 is the answer, but I'm thinking she's thinking #2....and I now i just feel dumb...:flush: