An old German bedtime story

[TooLowBrow]

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[TooLowBrow]

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[TooLowBrow]

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[TooLowBrow]

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[mikeyboy]

Tell me another one. I'm not tired yet.

[TooLowBrow]

Tell me another one. I'm not tired yet.

no way

chicago mods like to ban and close threads

im a good boy

[Slumbag]

That's the first German story I've ever seen that doesn't end in mouth shitting.

[mikeyboy]

no way

chicago mods like to ban and close threads

im a good boy

Come on. Tell me the one about the guy who handed out kibble and got mauled by a dog.

[TooLowBrow]

Come on. Tell me the one about the guy who handed out kibble and got mauled by a dog.

but darling, you know that story

ive read that one a million times

i told it to you

and youll tell it to your children

and theyll tell it to their children

...

are you asleep?

goodnight sweetheart

http://www.yahoofreak.com/animated%20emoticons/Activity%20Animated%20Emoticons/sleep.gif

[mikeyboy]

Can I get a drink of water?

[opie's twisted balls]

Can I get a drink of water?
Can we expect a One Mikey One Cup video?

[TooLowBrow]

Can I get a drink of water?

ill bring one in but im going to turn the light off

ill leave the door open a crack

[PapaBear]

ill leave the door open a crack

Can we expect a One Mikey One Cup video?

It would actually be one Mikey one jar, since the door is ajar.


I suck.

[Fallon]

I forget. Was that from Family Guy or American Dad tonight?

:thumbdown:

[TooLowBrow]

I forget. Was that from Family Guy or American Dad tonight?

:thumbdown:

family guy

[TheMojoPin]

"Hi, kids! Have a heaping helping of nightmares!"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6f/H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_03.jpg/416px-H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_03.jpg

Germany is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up.

[~Katja~]

I bet your mom read them to you!


"Hi, kids! Have a heaping helping of nightmares!"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6f/H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_03.jpg/416px-H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_03.jpg

Germany is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up.

[A.J.]

No wonder Goebbels was so good at his job.

[TheMojoPin]

I bet your mom read them to you!

My mom can't read you heartless asshole.

[disneyspy]

little jack horney,sat in a corner
eating his curds and playing with his pud
his mother saw that and cut off his penis
good night

brothers grimm 18th century

[Dude!]

My mom can't read you heartless asshole.

i bet she has
a car, though

[TheMojoPin]

i bet she has
a car, though

She stole mine.

[~Katja~]

My mom can't read you heartless asshole.
Now I feel less bad about thinking that she killed herself when she saw you and you were raised by wolves.

[disneyspy]

there once lived an old lady that lived in a shoe
she had so much sex she didnt know what to do
so her mother cut off her clit
good night my little cabbages

[TheMojoPin]

Now I feel less bad about thinking that she killed herself when she saw you and you were raised by wolves.

Why would anyone kill themselves over having the most adorable baby mankind has ever known?

Not everyone is farting out monsters.

[TooLowBrow]

little jack horney,sat in a corner
eating his curds and playing with his pud
his mother that and cut off his penis
good night

brothers grimm 18th century

there once lived an old lady that lived in a shoe
she had so much sex she didnt know what to do
so her mother cut off her clit
good night my little cabbages

:lol::lol::lol:

[disneyspy]

:lol::lol::lol:

thanks, i was going to do more but i didnt think anyone liked em and i was stinking up the board

[~Katja~]

Why would anyone kill themselves over having the most adorable baby mankind has ever known?

Not everyone is farting out monsters.
yet you admit you were just farted out... no wonder you stink

[A.J.]

"Hi, kids! Have a heaping helping of nightmares!"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6f/H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_03.jpg/416px-H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_03.jpg

Germany is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up.

Katja, what does the writing say?

[~Katja~]

Katja, what does the writing say?
it's written in old german print, I will have to enlarge it to read it properly.

There are better books from that time, I will dig them up... completely racist too (big surprise)

[disneyspy]

Katja, what does the writing say?

i'll translate

jack and jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
jack came down
and fell on his crown
and jill came tumblig after
then they had their genitals cut off
good night pumpkins

[~Katja~]

Suppenkaspar

Kid won't eat soup and dies in the end... had he only eaten his soup

http://www.projekt.gutenberg.de/gutenb_load/hoffmanh/struwwel/struww61.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

yet you admit you were just farted out... no wonder you stink

You're doing it wrong. As usual.

[A.J.]

Suppenkaspar

Kid won't eat soup and dies in the end... had he only eaten his soup

http://www.projekt.gutenberg.de/gutenb_load/hoffmanh/struwwel/struww61.jpg

What is it with Nazis and soup?

http://cooknkate.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/sein_soup_nazi.jpg

[~Katja~]

The story of the black boy (http://de.wikisource.org/wiki/Der_Struwwelpeter/Die_Geschichte_von_den_schwarzen_Buben)

3 guys make fun of the black guy so the mighty Nikolaus tells them that it's not his fault that he is that black and to punish them dips them in ink
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2d/H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_11.jpg/300px-H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_11.jpg

So now they are even blacker than the "mohr"
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_12.jpg/300px-H_Hoffmann_Struwwel_12.jpg

[~Katja~]

You're doing it wrong. As usual.
your comments are irrelevant to this thread, as usual

[A.J.]

The story of the black boy (http://de.wikisource.org/wiki/Der_Struwwelpeter/Die_Geschichte_von_den_schwarzen_Buben)

3 guys make fun of the black guy so the mighty Nikolaus tells them that it's not his fault that he is that black and to punish them dips them in ink


So now they are even blacker than the "mohr"

"Schwarzas! They blacker than us!"

http://www.ladyofthecake.com/mel/saddles/images/chief.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

What is it with Nazis and soup?

http://cooknkate.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/sein_soup_nazi.jpg

Just as we learned that Albanians can be guidos, the Soup Nazi proves that they can be Nazis, too.

[~Katja~]

Paulinchen plays with matches when her parents go out and she burns to death

http://www.smca.at/presse/images/08_Paulinchen.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

your comments are irrelevant to this thread, as usual

Quiet, fat stuff.

Wasn't Colbert just talking the other night about some horrible variant of Santa Claus that looks like a demon and runs around beating kids with sticks? He sounded German.

[TooLowBrow]

Quiet, fat stuff.

Wasn't Colbert just talking the other night about some horrible variant of Santa Claus that looks like a demon and runs around beating kids with sticks? He sounded German.

colbert steals from david sedaris

[A.J.]

Paulinchen plays with matches when her parents go out and she burns to death

Freezing to death might be less painful.

https://www.inspire4less.com/productimages/9780698114173.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

colbert steals from david sedaris

So there's not really a German, kid-beating demon Santa?

[~Katja~]

Friedrich tortures the animals, so a dog bites his leg off
http://lelivre.chez-alice.fr/STRUWW%7E1/friedrich2.gif

[TooLowBrow]

So there's not really a German, kid-beating demon Santa?

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[~Katja~]

Quiet, fat stuff.

Wasn't Colbert just talking the other night about some horrible variant of Santa Claus that looks like a demon and runs around beating kids with sticks? He sounded German.

get your facts straight! That's in Austria and is not even related to Santa

[TooLowBrow]

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[TooLowBrow]

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[~Katja~]

Anderson is another whose stories are very brutal and visual... like the little mermaid bleeding from her feet cause it felt like thousand knives when she walked and the pain she felt, I was horrified as a kid reading that

Freezing to death might be less painful.

https://www.inspire4less.com/productimages/9780698114173.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

Oh, yeah, Austria never has ANYTHING to do with Germany...

http://www.b-29s-over-korea.com/Hitlers-Yacht/images/ADOLF-HITLER.jpg

LIVING WITH GERMANY IS LIKE LIVING WITH A LIVING NIGHTMARE.

[A.J.]

Oh, yeah, Austria never has ANYTHING to do with Germany...

http://www.b-29s-over-korea.com/Hitlers-Yacht/images/ADOLF-HITLER.jpg

LIVING WITH GERMANY IS LIKE LIVING WITH A LIVING NIGHTMARE.

Is that a German guido on Hitler's left? That hair is greased-up pretty high!

[TheMojoPin]

Is that a German guido on Hitler's left? That hair is greased-up pretty high!

Guidos did 9/11.

[~Katja~]

their religious and holiday traditions are unrelated to main German traditions.

They have Christkind on the 24th and the evil gnome like thing comes much earlier in december, it's Krampus and is only celebrated in the form of Nikolaus in Germany, which is a good man who brings sweets for the kids on the night of De.5th into 6th



Oh, yeah, Austria never has ANYTHING to do with Germany...

http://www.b-29s-over-korea.com/Hitlers-Yacht/images/ADOLF-HITLER.jpg

LIVING WITH GERMANY IS LIKE LIVING WITH A LIVING NIGHTMARE.

[TheMojoPin]

Krampus lives in Germany the rest of the year an invades Austria to bring misery. Typical.

[~Katja~]

Krampus lives in Germany the rest of the year an invades Austria to bring misery. Typical.
he invaded your house and rapes your asshole every night, just the way you like it!

[TheMojoPin]

You're really terrible at this.

[JohnCharles]

Admit that you are both awful at this and let's get back to badmouthing holiday parties.