View Full Version : how do yuo handle "heavy" stuff?
SHANEFROMGA
12-03-2009, 03:39 PM
For about the most of the last two months a guy i've worked with for about 8 years has been in and out of the hospital, he had a bad gall blader that he let get infected and it got his pancreas infected and it damn near killed him. he has been back to work for almost 2 weeks and his health is not really getting any better, and he's had to leave early 2 days in a row vomiting. he confided in me this morning that his doctors think he may have stomach cancer. he's real worried and it's showing on his face. it floored me. i mean i'm not super close but we've become good work friends over the last few years. he asked me not to tell anyone else at work, so i'm keeping under my hat. ever since then i've had this feeling of dread. it's weighing on my mind.
boosterp
12-03-2009, 04:11 PM
I've handled this professionally and personally. Being a disabled vet I have good and bad days either pain or mental wise, many times both so it can affect work and those around me. I have had close colleagues and patients with life threatening or terminal illnesses. The best you can do is empathize with the person, show you care but at the same time do not over do it. And, he confided in you so you have an obligation to keep it under your hat, unless in the rare instance your job duties specify otherwise.
Chigworthy
12-03-2009, 04:14 PM
It is part of our culture to be sort of out-of-touch with the reality of death. We don't hack up dead people and feed 'em to vultures, we don't burn 'em and kick the pyre into the river, we don't see real death that often. People usually wither away in a sterile institutional environment. Our concept of death is shaped by the over-saturation of artificial, unrealistic death that we see in movies. What this adds up to is a hard time coping with it when it touches us. The feeling of dread that you have is normal; you are sympathizing with your co-worker and his plight, you are considering what his absence will mean to you personally, and you are also considering your own mortality. It's like any other emotional pain we suffer in life, you will come to terms with it as time passes, but there is really no instantly-gratifying way to make it go away. The best thing to do is to always be considering the positive aspects of his life, and to be there for him as best as you can. These things will help you be more at peace with the situation. Regardless of whether you believe in an afterlife, a person lives on after dying in the ways that he or she touched people during their life.
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ZigZagBigBag
12-03-2009, 04:15 PM
whenever someone i know is going through hard times, i always go out of my way to act funny and try and make them laugh...or offer to get drunk with them. i don't know if its noticeable or not. i know this is not helpful.
Penelope
12-03-2009, 05:35 PM
I have a neighbor who has stomach cancer The way I deal with it is by hanging out with her. I invite her over to dinner. I ask her how she's is feeling, but I never bring up the topic of the stomach cancer. I try to keep things fun. Not saying this is the correct way to deal with it. I'm just saying that this my own inept way of dealing with it.
JohnGacysCrawlSpace
12-03-2009, 07:21 PM
Ronnie James Dio was just diagnosed with stomach cancer.
http://www.smnnews.com/2009/11/25/ronnie-james-dio-diagnosed-with-stomach-cancer/
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