Tiger Woods' Neverending Drama

[jocefus]

what has happend to tiger woods? ever since he got married he's not the same golfer... he doesnt look like he's playing with the heart and desire that once made him a force to be recken with... did his wife suck the life out of him already?? come back to us tiger..

http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=jocefus



Big ups to amy, aggie, satcam,adf and fluff for the sigs..

hey my man, what it look like

[irishkb]

i think some of the pressure finally got to him.. every tournament he plays it was who is gonna beat him....after awhile that shit has to add up on a person....i hope he gets out of it and starts to kill again... i like watching him play when you can tell he is having fun... he does not look like he is having fun playing right now..

<IMG SRC=http://irishkb.50megs.com/images/rfnetirishkb.jpg>


<marquee>let's go Mets

[mothershucker]

No, it is not the presure, it's that white hot piece or azzzzz.

I shucked it, and I shucked it, and I shucked it, i'm quite the mother shucker

[Mike Teacher]

what has happend to tiger woods?


Probability and Statistics caught up with him. And Serena. A study of many hot streaks, mostly in some studies in MLB, show that most hot and cold streaks fall well within the expected, or in other words: on Any Given Sunday...

Gould did a Natural History article on hitting streaks, and some statistics guys did a study and found that the Joe D hitting streak of 56 [?] games falls So many standard deviations from any normalcy that this might be the one Record that stands, perhaps, forever.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/sigone">

[Marc with a c]

no link. i'm on my phone.

[K.C.]

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/os-bk-tiger-woods-accident,0,1369881.story

Professional golfer Tiger Woods was seriously injured in a car accident early this morning, the Florida Highway Patrol just reported.

Woods, 33, pulled out of his driveway in the Isleworth community about 2:25 a.m. when he struck a fire hydrant, and then drove into a tree at his neighbor's property, FHP reported.

Woods was transported to Health Central Hospital in Ocoee in serious condition, FHP said. No other information about his condition has been released.

A Health Central hospital employee said at 2:30 p.m. that Woods was not a patient. A hospital operator would not say if Woods had been treated and released.

FHP said the airbags in Woods' Cadillac Escalade did not deploy, which means the vehicle was traveling under 33 mph.

Orange County Fire Rescue received the call for aid at 2:28 a.m. Woods was transported from his Windermere-area neighborhood by the hospital's own ambulance.

FHP did not report the accident until just after 2 p.m. today. The agency said the crash remains under investigation and charges are pending.

[IamFogHat]

Cause this is all we know
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/11/27/tiger.woods/index.html

[disneyspy]

fucker cant drive for shit

[IamFogHat]

Was he hammered?

[K.C.]

Was he hammered?

Had to have been...to hit a fire hydrant and then a tree pulling out of his driveway??

[Sarge]

Must have been drunk, unless he is diabetic. They will act the same way if their sugar crashes.

[ANC]

Must have been drunk, unless he is diabetic. They will act the same way if their sugar crashes.

What do you mean "they"? :dry:








:happy:

[K.C.]

ESPN story reporting no alcohol involved.

It has to be something like he's diabetic, bad prescription drugs, fell asleep at the wheel, or something.

Even the worst drivers can avoid the hydrants.

[Snoogans]

how do you get seriously hurt pulling out of a driveway. Even if you hit a tree, what are you goin, 5 mph? Something doesnt seem right. he probably got taken as precaution or something. Ill wait to hear the real details

[K.C.]

I think some old ladies ran him off the road on their way to Wal-Mart...damn you, Black Friday!!!!

[Sarge]

What do you mean "they"? :dry:








:happy:

You know, those people

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I think some old ladies ran him off the road on their way to Wal-Mart...damn you, Black Friday!!!!

its African American Friday and he is half Chinese also

whats next a pee pee in my coke joke

[Death Metal Moe]

how do you get seriously hurt pulling out of a driveway. Even if you hit a tree, what are you goin, 5 mph? Something doesnt seem right. he probably got taken as precaution or something. Ill wait to hear the real details

That's kinda what I was thinking. Only other thing I can think of is if he was hammered, after he hit the hydrant it says he hit a tree. Maybe hitting the hydrant flustered him and he slammed on the gas into the tree. Just a guess. But I bet there's a lot more to this due out soon.

[K.C.]

how do you get seriously hurt pulling out of a driveway. Even if you hit a tree, what are you goin, 5 mph? Something doesnt seem right. he probably got taken as precaution or something. Ill wait to hear the real details

Meh...if you fell asleep or passed out at the wheel and your foot is on the pedal, you can get to 30 MPH or so quick.

The airbags didn't deploy so it had to have been between 20-30 MPH....that's enough to hit your head or break some ribs or something on impact. Could cause internal bleeding or something.

[disneyspy]

how do you get seriously hurt pulling out of a driveway. Even if you hit a tree, what are you goin, 5 mph? Something doesnt seem right. he probably got taken as precaution or something. Ill wait to hear the real details

he lives in isle worth,a gated section of windemere(the nice part of orlando) those driveways are like a football field length long,he could get some rpms going before hitting the road

[SP1!]

If hes hurt that bad then alcohol has to be involved and its getting covered up, hes not diabetic and has no other health issues, unless hes still on pain killers from his other surgeries...........

The only time I have fucked up driving that bad was when I was smashed.

Oh and if its gated then the police wouldnt have immediate access to it since its a private area, their security could be covering it up.

[Snoogans]

he lives in isle worth,a gated section of windemere(the nice part of orlando) those driveways are like a football field length long,he could get some rpms going before hitting the road

yea but you cant go flyin into a road, you have to stop and make sure its clear. Again, something is missing

[KingGeno]

This is a tragedy...specially right after the coming out that he is cheating on his wife with this hot POA from NY.

http://simg.sportsbybrooks.com/e/f/efb5b70cb544b248469b056eb496f351_rachel%20uchitel% 20bikini%209%20small.jpg
http://simg.sportsbybrooks.com/1/6/16910aa5e1a77753e57c350e75518e79_rachel%20uchitel% 20bikini%205%20small.jpg

[disneyspy]

man boobs lives in the same neighborhood,maybe he thought the fire hydrant was phil going out for a late night walk

[Snoogans]

man boobs lives in the same neighborhood,maybe he thought the fire hydrant was phil going out for a late night walk

his name is Bitch Tits. Not Man Boobs

[ANC]

You know, those people

Fuckin' golfers never learn do they... :furious:

[disneyspy]

his name is Bitch Tits. Not Man Boobs

sorry,i get him and hippos confused

[brettmojo]

his name is Bitch Tits. Not Man Boobs
That's World Champion bitch tits.

[Snoogans]

That's World Champion bitch tits.

Tiger still drives straighter then Phil


especially with a 1 shot lead late

[Snoogans]

so seriously injured he has already been released from the hospital. he was treated for some facial cuts and is home already.

Fuck the media

[K.C.]

ESPN released an update.

Woods has been released...criminal charges pending....hmmm...

[disneyspy]

ESPN released an update.

Woods has been released...criminal charges pending....hmmm...

ya but the crimminal charges are just things like reckless driving and property damage,just misdemeanors,no big deal,doubt there will be jail time,just points on his license and fines

[Snoogans]

ya but the crimminal charges are just things like reckless driving and property damage,just misdemeanors,no big deal,doubt there will be jail time,just points on his license and fines

he coulda actually hit his neighbor and prob wouldnt get jail time

[disneyspy]

he coulda actually hit his neighbor and prob wouldnt get jail time

get out of the way ron howard!

[underdog]

If hes hurt that bad then alcohol has to be involved and its getting covered up, hes not diabetic and has no other health issues, unless hes still on pain killers from his other surgeries...........

The only time I have fucked up driving that bad was when I was smashed.

Oh and if its gated then the police wouldnt have immediate access to it since its a private area, their security could be covering it up.

No so quick everyone. SP1! has spoken, and there's obviously more to the story. The police will be filing drunk driving charges soon.

[Snoogans]

No so quick everyone. SP1! has spoken, and there's obviously more to the story. The police will be filing drunk driving charges soon.

i cant wait until this "injury" becomes to hide that he was suspended for gambling or something

[Tall_James]

Always trying to be Ben Hogan.

[GregoryJoseph]

Those people are the worst drivers.

[SP1!]

No so quick everyone. SP1! has spoken, and there's obviously more to the story. The police will be filing drunk driving charges soon.

Come on, its obvious, 230 am and he hit a fire hydrant and a fucking tree? Do not even tell me drugs/alcohol wasnt involved, I have heard of two people that have hit fire hydrants, one was my 70 year old aunt who blacked out and the other was a 24 year old friend who was blitzed.

So either hes dying of some unknown illness or he was drunk and they dont want it released, after all tigers image is squeaky clean.

[disneyspy]

the nike store at downtown disney opened at 3AM for its black friday sale,he didnt want to be late

[Snoogans]

it is curious as to why he was leaving his house at 230 am. He wasnt on his way home from something, he was leaving. Hooker maybe?

[disneyspy]

it is curious as to why he was leaving his house at 230 am. He wasnt on his way home from something, he was leaving. Hooker maybe?

maybe he was driving the babt sitter home,she unzipped him and he lost control?

[deliciousV]

My guess is that he was all drunked up and the wife got lippy about the alleged affair, so he throws her a beating then scrams.

[SP1!]

maybe he was driving the babt sitter home,she unzipped him and he lost control?

Ok that is an excuse I will buy

[disneyspy]

i'll guess he did the late night thanksgiving thing with his family at one of the parks,realized he had no cool whip for the pumkin pie that they all wanted to eat and was rushing to the store to get some so they wouldnt have to wait to long for him

[TheGameHHH]

He was obviously coked up and going to dump the body of a dead hooker in Lake Buena Vista.

[Furtherman]

Maybe it was just dark and kinda hard to see.

[underdog]

Maybe it was just dark and kinda hard to see.

Racist.

[KingGeno]

Like I said before, I bet he got in a fight with the wifey about that cheating story that broke this morning. You assholes didn't bother seeing the important and probable info I posted.

I'm right. Face it.

[Kevin]

I wonder what Jack has to say about this, or is he too busy being in a hissy fit like he was last night.

[disneyspy]

Like I said before, I bet he got in a fight with the wifey about that cheating story that broke this morning. You assholes didn't bother seeing the important and probable info I posted.

I'm right. Face it.

i consider the source when it comes to reporting of celebrities cheating on their spouses

john stewart anyone?

maybe it was james woods

[KingGeno]

i consider the source when it comes to reporting of celebrities cheating on their spouses

john stewart anyone?

maybe it was james woods





DS. I.... thought you were cool? WTH.

[disneyspy]

DS. I.... thought you were cool? WTH.

ok maybe had to do this

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kL3nZJeHIIE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kL3nZJeHIIE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

[EliSnow]

i consider the source when it comes to reporting of celebrities cheating on their spouses

john stewart anyone?

maybe it was james woods

The fact that the buddays are on vacation today robbed us of a Geno Spy Report that "Tony the Tiger had been in a car accident."

[disneyspy]

The fact that the buddays are on vacation today robbed us of a Geno Spy Report that "Tony the Tiger had been in a car accident."

i know dammit,tony saprano got caught cheating wouldve been a great spy report

[sailor]

Those people are the worst drivers.

young people?

it is curious as to why he was leaving his house at 230 am. He wasnt on his way home from something, he was leaving. Hooker maybe?

formula?

[underdog]

Maybe he fell asleep at the wheel.

[GregoryJoseph]

young people?

No, Escalade drivers.

[sailor]

It has to be something like...fell asleep at the wheel, or something.

good idea.

[underdog]

Has anyone thought that the man could have just fallen asleep at the wheel? It's just like Dexter.

[disneyspy]

i've always wanted to say i can out drive tiger woods,now i can

[sailor]

Has anyone thought that the man could have just fallen asleep at the wheel? It's just like Dexter.

yes, kc did.

[sailor]

My guess is that he was all drunked up and the wife got lippy about the alleged affair, so he throws her a beating then scrams.

maybe you got it backwards:

A local police chief in Florida says Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash the back window and helped get the golfer out of the car.

Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press on Friday that Elin Nordegren told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and came outside. Saylor says officers found Woods laying in the street with his wife hovering over him.

sounds like a cover-up.

[underdog]

maybe you got it backwards:



sounds like a cover-up.

A local police chief in Florida says Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash the back window and helped get the golfer out of the car.

Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press on Friday that Elin Nordegren told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and came outside. Saylor says officers found Woods laying in the street with his wife hovering over him.

Finally, an interesting saylor.

[KnoxHarrington]

This sounds a lot like what happened after my car accident a few years ago. I wasn't injured seriously at all -- in fact, the only injuries I did have were contusions and abrasions from the seat belt and airbag -- but as soon as the EMT's got there, they basically made me sit down and eventually put me on the back board, neck brace, the whole deal. Not because I was injured, but because I could have been. They don't fuck around. I suspect it was much the same deal with Tiger Woods.

[weekapaugjz]

i bet he fell asleep at the wheel.

[Snoogans]

i consider the source when it comes to reporting of celebrities cheating on their spouses

john stewart anyone?

maybe it was james woods

maybe tiger was running from james woods for stealing his premier tickets

[SatCam]

I really hope someone got the whole thing on tape

[TeeBone]

http://cdn.faniq.com/images/blog/3cea8c0972d78c64978f4be067e5c507.jpg
Word is, Tiger had been drinkin' a bit.

[sr71blackbird]

Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash out a car window and help free him

Best part of the story

[hanso]

Best part of the story

Yeah, thats the only way to get out of an escalade crashed out front going under 33 mph.

[underdog]

From deadspin (http://deadspin.com/5414139/tiger-woods-accident-story-just-gets-more-preposterous-by-the-hour) :

So according to the fine, upstanding, Windermere police department, Tiger's wife, Elin, heard the crash outside their mansion and had the wherewithal to wisely grab a golf club before she ran out the door just in case she happened upon an emergency situation. (In Sweden, golf clubs are the Jaws of Life.) Luckily she did — because who knows what would have happened to Tiger had she not acted so quickly. Remember — he ran over a fire hydrant. Although plenty of wacky slapstick family movies use this as a cheap visual gag when they run out of other ways to emphasize a character's bad luck, this is a dire situation in real life. He could have sat there all night, with serious-not-serious facial lacerations and possibly drowned. That's why she smashed the back window of the SUV — the gallons of water violently gushing into the vehicle could have killed him instantly had she gone through the front windshield or tried to, you know, get Tiger to unlock the driver's side door. She needed to climb through the back, grab her 200lb. husband by the collar and drag him to safety. Time was of the essence.

[KnoxHarrington]

http://cdn.faniq.com/images/blog/3cea8c0972d78c64978f4be067e5c507.jpg
Word is, Tiger had been drinkin' a bit.

This might be my favorite golf video of all time:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q6HXfA__e14&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q6HXfA__e14&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

He just doesn't give a fuck about anything, and I like it.

[Ritalin]

He also got back from Asia recently and could have been jet lagging.

[hanso]

This might be my favorite golf video of all time:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q6HXfA__e14&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q6HXfA__e14&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

He just doesn't give a fuck about anything, and I like it.
How about teeing off on a tall boy beer video?

[GregoryJoseph]

Sounds like a classic drunken domestic dispute.

I doubt we'll ever get the real, full story.

Nor should we.

[jauble]

His mother's side was driving last night.

[MC Pee Pants]

He is half Asian, did anyone make that joke yet? If I'm the first this board is bullshit.

[jauble]

He is half Asian, did anyone make that joke yet? If I'm the first this board is bullshit.

Literally the post above you refers to this.

[Zipgun]

This might be my favorite golf video of all time:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q6HXfA__e14&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q6HXfA__e14&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

He just doesn't give a fuck about anything, and I like it.

"Take two weeks off and quit"

[Fallon]

I'm Tiger Woods.
http://i47.tinypic.com/nbxiiu.jpg

I'm Tiger Woods.
http://i48.tinypic.com/5k3ias.jpg

I am Tiger Woods.
http://i50.tinypic.com/f0zw55.jpg

[MC Pee Pants]

Literally the post above you refers to this.

NIGGA!!!!!!!!!! I AINT GOT ALL DAY TO BE READING OTHER PEOPLES POSTS!!!!!!!1

[Tenbatsuzen]

Two possible theories:

1) Tiger and Elin fight. Tiger walks away for a drive. Elin follows behind him and smashes the back window, spooking him so much into the accident.

2) My other theory - Elin was drunk and driving, and Tiger tried to stop her, and it ended really badly. Tiger was sober, so he decides to take the fall. Only problem, he wouldn't have had any time to concoct this by the time the accident happens.

[Fallon]

http://dlisted.com/node/35002

[SP1!]

This sounds a lot like what happened after my car accident a few years ago. I wasn't injured seriously at all -- in fact, the only injuries I did have were contusions and abrasions from the seat belt and airbag -- but as soon as the EMT's got there, they basically made me sit down and eventually put me on the back board, neck brace, the whole deal. Not because I was injured, but because I could have been. They don't fuck around. I suspect it was much the same deal with Tiger Woods.

Problem is he was drifting in and out of consciousness when they were on scene, so either hes lying about the wreck or his wife beat the shit out of him, a 30MPH wreck wouldnt cause that much damage.

Tiger, tiger, tiger woods yallllllll.........

[KingGeno]

I was right.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/28/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-fight-accident-suv-lacerations/

Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV

Posted Nov 28th 2009 12:08AM by TMZ Staff (http://www.tmz.com/bloggers/tmz-staff/)
<!-- sphereit start -->Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2009/11/1127_tigerwoods_elinwoods_80194765_ex.jpg

Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2009/11/1127_tiger_woods_mini_photo_launch_template.jpg (http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/tiger_woods)We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

[Fallon]

http://kirktastic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/nelson-haha-0.preview.gif
Tiger got beat up by a girl.

[epo]

Hot damn. That piece of "new pussy" is gonna cost Tiger Woods a literal truckload of money.

[Contra]

Hot damn. That piece of "new pussy" is gonna cost Tiger Woods a literal truckload of money.

I don't know. She is a crazy bitch, which mean she will probably stay with him.

[PapaBear]

Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

This is more proof that you really shouldn't bring your work home with you.

[Fallon]

http://i50.tinypic.com/2mgtnyq.jpg

[razorboy]

Well Rachel Uchitel is decidedly unattractive. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

[sr71blackbird]

Elin's family had tried to warn her what could happen if she married a "golpher".

[sailor]

maybe you got it backwards:



sounds like a cover-up.

I was right.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/28/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-fight-accident-suv-lacerations/

Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV

Posted Nov 28th 2009 12:08AM by TMZ Staff (http://www.tmz.com/bloggers/tmz-staff/)
<!-- sphereit start -->Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.


Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

nice call by me that she attacked him and it was a cover-up. i'll give you the "he got in a fight with the wifey" part, but that's only partial credit.

Problem is he was drifting in and out of consciousness when they were on scene, so either hes lying about the wreck or his wife beat the shit out of him, a 30MPH wreck wouldnt cause that much damage.

Tiger, tiger, tiger woods yallllllll.........

please, drive into a tree at 30 with no seat belt and report back, you fuckin' lunatic.

[Ritalin]

This doesn't even make the top stories page of SI.com
mobile. The UFL championship game does, but not this.

Fucking pussies.

[sailor]

This doesn't even make the top stories page of SI.com
mobile. The UFL championship game does, but not this.

Fucking pussies.

go locos!

[WRESTLINGFAN]

I don't know. She is a crazy bitch, which mean she will probably stay with him.

If she doesnt, He better have a prenup

[A.J.]

Always trying to be Ben Hogan.

Well, I got this anyway.

[EliSnow]

Well, I got this anyway.

As did I.

[GregoryJoseph]

After seeing the police and media photos of his palatial estate I've lost a lot of respect for him.

[jauble]

Well, I got this anyway.

Ben Hogan loved fried chicken and collard greens?

[~Katja~]

After seeing the police and media photos of his palatial estate I've lost a lot of respect for him.
why, is it not big enough?

[~Katja~]

I don't know. She is a crazy bitch, which mean she will probably stay with him.
settle down, Jeff

[underdog]

After seeing the police and media photos of his palatial estate I've lost a lot of respect for him.

Too white?

[TheMojoPin]

Gvac likes to pretend that he willfully lives in a shithole and is jealous of anyone else who doesn't.

[disneyspy]

Gvac likes to pretend that he willfully lives in a shithole and is jealous of anyone else who doesn't.

what are you sayin?

that he's the poor man's poor man?

plus i think ohio is much worse than new jersey

new jersey may smell like garbage in some places but the whole state of ohio smells like shit and tires and shitty tires and tired shit and tires that have been shit on,rolled around the whole state then set on fire by a shit that has been set on fire

[Snoogans]

funny when I saw his house, I was shocked by how small it is. Considering he is a billionaire, that place was pretty modest. Although its prob one of 7 places....and I know he has like a 60 foot yacht or something too

[Snoogans]

ok maybe its a bit bigger than 60 feet:

http://nbcsportsmedia1.msnbc.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/041010/041010_tigers_yacht_hmed_1p.hmedium.jpg

[~Katja~]

funny when I saw his house, I was shocked by how small it is. Considering he is a billionaire, that place was pretty modest.
oh literal Katja

[GregoryJoseph]

I merely find ostentatious opulence to be repugnant.

[Snoogans]

oh literal Katja

that doesnt even make sense. I was posting my opinion on his house, not responding seriously to a joke

[jauble]

what are you sayin?

that he's the poor man's poor man?

plus i think ohio is much worse than new jersey

new jersey may smell like garbage in some places but the whole state of ohio smells like shit and tires and shitty tires and tired shit and tires that have been shit on,rolled around the whole state then set on fire by a shit that has been set on fire

Where you raped in Ohio? Whats your gimmick here?

[Snoogans]

i dont get the hating on ohio. Gvac lives in jersey, mojo lives in illinois, and Tiger Woods lives in florida. im confused

[disneyspy]

Where you raped in Ohio? Whats your gimmick here?

my olfactory senses are raped every time i drive through that malordorous pliece of land

[Snoogans]

my olfactory senses are raped every time i drive through that malordorous pliece of land

what does ohio have to do with anything?

[disneyspy]

i dont get the hating on ohio. Gvac lives in jersey, mojo lives in illinois, and Tiger Woods lives in florida. im confused

mojo called new jersey a shit hole and i pointed out that theres a bigger shit hole and its called o hi o

[jauble]

my olfactory senses are raped every time i drive through that malordorous pliece of land

I figured it would be Rich Rodriguez, don't make me on the side of OSU fans.

[A.J.]

I merely find ostentatious opulence to be repugnant.

Not a fan of MTV Cribs, huh?

[Snoogans]

mojo called new jersey a shit hole and i pointed out that theres a bigger shit hole and its called o hi o

but mojo isnt from ohio so that wouldnt effect him. And its possible to have 2 shit holes. Make sense, old man

[GregoryJoseph]

Not a fan of MTV Cribs, huh?

Isn't it sickening?

I'd like to think that if I had more money than I could ever spend I'd do something better with it than buy an enormous house with obscenely expensive ornamentation.

[Snoogans]

Isn't it sickening?

I'd like to think that if I had more money than I could ever spend I'd do something better with it than buy an enormous house with obscenely expensive ornamentation.

yea youd like to think it cause you know its bullshit. You won megamillions, you would buy some 2 million dollar house, like 4 cars, just tryin to nail some young chicks

[GregoryJoseph]

yea youd like to think it cause you know its bullshit. You won megamillions, you would buy some 2 million dollar house, like 4 cars, just tryin to nail some young chicks

Ha!

No, I would definitely NOT buy a 2 million dollar house.

[TheMojoPin]

mojo called new jersey a shit hole and i pointed out that theres a bigger shit hole and its called o hi o

No, I called Gvac's home a shithole. His home would be a shithole regardless of which state it was in.

[GregoryJoseph]

No, I called Gvac's home a shithole. His home would be a shithole regardless of which state it was in.

Mojo adores me! :wub:

[Snoogans]

Ha!

No, I would definitely NOT buy a 2 million dollar house.

4 mill? Scuse me i didnt know you were ballin like that

[TheMojoPin]

Ha!

No, I would definitely NOT buy a 2 million dollar house.

Definitely not.

That's way too smart an investment.

You'd blow it all on getting someone to carve a statue of Bruce Lee fucking Stevie Ray Vaughn on a giant yin yang bed into the side of a mountain.

Then you'd buy the Detroit Lions and become the Al Davis of the Midwest.

[GregoryJoseph]

Definitely not.

That's way too smart an investment.

You'd blow it all on getting someone to carve a statue of Bruce Lee fucking Stevie Ray Vaughn on a giant yin yang bed into the side of a mountain.

Then you'd buy the Detroit Lions and become the Al Davis of the Midwest.

I like the way you think...

[disneyspy]

Definitely not.

That's way too smart an investment.

You'd blow it all on getting someone to carve a statue of Bruce Lee fucking Stevie Ray Vaughn on a giant yin yang bed into the side of a mountain.

Then you'd buy the Detroit Lions and become the Al Davis of the Midwest.

the ford family already has that title

[A.J.]

Isn't it sickening?

I'd like to think that if I had more money than I could ever spend I'd do something better with it than buy an enormous house with obscenely expensive ornamentation.

I agree.

http://i2.tinypic.com/4pw9dvr.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

the ford family already has that title

The McCaskey's are well on their way.

[hanso]

Ben Hogan loved fried chicken and collard greens?

You mean Fuzzy Zoeller?

[jauble]

Ha!

No, I would definitely NOT buy a 2 million dollar house.

He would buy a million2 dollar houses.

[brettmojo]

So Tiger really is black.

[Mitch&Murray]

The guy has made a billion dollars and his house is only worth 2.4 million? I bet Fezs apartment on retard island costs more than that.
He's only driving a caddy. Talk about N rich.

[jauble]

So Tiger really is black.

It was his car

[TheMojoPin]

Oh boy, here comes the classiness.

[Jughead]

I'm waiting for the 20 inch rim reference????

[disneyspy]

Oh boy, here comes the classiness.

t i double gerrr spells tigger thats who

[Bob Impact]

The guy has made a billion dollars and his house is only worth 2.4 million? I bet Fezs apartment on retard island costs more than that.
He's only driving a caddy. Talk about N rich.

Living underneath your means?

Do you even understand what the derogatory terms you use mean?

[Contra]

Living underneath your means?

Do you even understand what the derogatory terms you use mean?

Yes, saying he has to have some Jew in him somewhere would have worked better.

[Snoogans]

i think he was tryin to imply that tiger spent all his money and so thats all he could afford. But that doesnt make sense either cause then he would have tons of houses and shit, not to mention that awesome yacht.

[epo]

i think he was tryin to imply that tiger spent all his money and so thats all he could afford. But that doesnt make sense either cause then he would have tons of houses and shit, not to mention that awesome yacht.

From my understanding, that was Tiger's first house in Orlando. If memory serves me correct, it was his "starter house" and is conveniently located on/or near Windermere Golf Club and is the middle of a shitload of awesome golf courses.

[underdog]

Not a fan of MTV Cribs, huh?

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/funny-graphs-downloading-illegally.jpg

[disneyspy]

From my understanding, that was Tiger's first house in Orlando. If memory serves me correct, it was his "starter house" and is conveniently located on/or near Windermere Golf Club and is the middle of a shitload of awesome golf courses.

you sir,are correct and tho its only for residents,the course he lives on/by is one of the best in the area,the disney courses are less than 15 minutes away,i used to drive thru windemere on my way to work and orange nat'l is about the same distance from there,pine hills is maybe 25 minutes away in medium traffic

[hanso]

And he skates talking to the FHP again today (sunday)
Story states he is not obligated so he may never talk.
Look for the 911 tapes to come out though.

[cougarjake13]

they were reporting that there was no alcohol involved so why wouldnt he talk

[disneyspy]

something is messed up with this story,ive been arrested by the windemere police,they have a large force for a small community,there is NO REASON for the florida HIGHWAY patrol to be invovled in a car accident in a residential community

[GregoryJoseph]

The title of this thread should be changed to "Tiger Woods' Wife Dominates Him Like He Dominates Phil."

[disneyspy]

The title of this thread should be changed to "Tiger Woods' Wife Dominates Him Like He Dominates Phil."

the mods fuck up so many thread titles here i wish they'd just leave their stupid fingers up their butts

[TheMojoPin]

Tiger dominated his wife. He's so awesome he drove her crazy.

[jauble]

I know the police can't get tiger to talk about this, but I am really surprised that he hasn't posted in here. I wonder if he forgot his password during all this commotion.

[GregoryJoseph]

Tiger dominated his wife. He's so awesome he drove her crazy.

He ran away from her while she wielded a golf club.

Then he destroyed his Cadillac in the process.

He doesn't sound very manly.

[TheMojoPin]

He ran away from her while she wielded a golf club.

Then he destroyed his Cadillac in the process.

He doesn't sound very manly.

These are the lengths that his awesomeness will drive a mere mortal to. He can only navigate the effects of his awesomeness. Out of pity he wrecked his car to allow her to feel some semblence of control in the wake of his awesomeness-induced madness.

[GregoryJoseph]

These are the lengths that his awesomeness will drive a mere mortal to. He can only navigate the effects of his awesomeness. Out of pity he wrecked his car to allow her to feel some semblence of control in the wake of his awesomeness-induced madness.

Hmmm...

[Snoogans]

they were reporting that there was no alcohol involved so why wouldnt he talk

because his wife broke a bunch of laws and he probably doesnt wanna send her to jail

[Snoogans]

I know the police can't get tiger to talk about this, but I am really surprised that he hasn't posted in here. I wonder if he forgot his password during all this commotion.

Ive talked to him. he is recovering. Give him a break. Im sure he will make a statement on here when he is ready

[TheMojoPin]

Sounds like he didn't get too far in the car so he can still stand by his claim of DRIVING 350 YARDS, EVERY TIME.

[Kevin]

Sounds like he didn't get too far in the car so he can still stand by his claim of DRIVING 350 YARDS, EVERY TIME.

He did hit the tree and hydrant as hard as he hits a golf ball

[Bob Impact]

These are the lengths that his awesomeness will drive a mere mortal to. He can only navigate the effects of his awesomeness. Out of pity he wrecked his car to allow her to feel some semblence of control in the wake of his awesomeness-induced madness.

So far this sounds the most plausible.

[KnoxHarrington]

The 911 recording should be released later today, and finally the cops will get to talk to Tiger. We should know a bit more about this later. Maybe.

[sailor]

maybe he's the one who went crazy and tried to kill himself?

[Snoogans]

apparently the 911 call was made by a neighbor, not Tiger's wife. So that wont really tell us anything

[TheMojoPin]

Tiger would never use a phone. He'd just telepathically summon the police.

[Snoogans]

Tiger would never use a phone. He'd just telepathically summon the police.

he wrote shit on a golf ball and hit it to the police lawn

[TheMojoPin]

he wrote shit on a golf ball and hit it to the police lawn

He actually had to hit two because the first one was just bragging about how amazing a shot it was.

[underdog]

TMZ is reporting that Tiger told a friend that his wife had "gone ghetto," and he had to "to run to Zales to get a 'Kobe Special.'"

hahahahahah

[TheMojoPin]

Is there anything that he does that isn't the best?

[Kevin]

hahahahahah



He should have went to Jereds.

[Snoogans]

and he says fuck the police. Tiger Woods is the most powerful man in the world, PERIOD

[underdog]

He should have went to Jereds.

I fucking hate those commercials.

[Kevin]

I fucking hate those commercials.



So Tiger cheated on you with a whore. What did you do?

I was about to go ghetto on him, but.

(Shows a massive ring on her finger)

HE WENT TO JEREDS...

He went to Jereds!

[A.J.]

He should have went to Jereds.

It can only be Jered.

[sailor]

Jared

[A.J.]

Jared

http://www.magnani.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/jared-fogle.jpg

[Kevin]

Jared



Why must you try to ruin everything?

[Snoogans]

Why must you try to ruin everything?

we should start callin him Ellin

[A.J.]

we should start callin him Ellin

Elin.

[Fallon]

Tiger releases statement.
http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news?slug=ap-woods-accident&prov=ap&type=lgns

[Ritalin]

Before we all start thinking that this is going to cause Tiger any trouble, let's keep in mind that Kobe raped a chick and it's worked out ok for him.

[JimBeam]

The Florida Highway Patrol is as easy going as the LAPD huh ?

If you're a celebrity go ahead and take your time getting back to us on what happened.

In the meantime we'll go setup some speed traps.

[Snoogans]

The Florida Highway Patrol is as easy going as the LAPD huh ?

If you're a celebrity go ahead and take your time getting back to us on what happened.

In the meantime we'll go setup some speed traps.

again did everyone miss how its a traffic incident? He doesnt have to talk to them ever if he doesnt want to

[GregoryJoseph]

Here's the latest -

Tiger Woods made his first public statement on his web site since his accident early Friday morning. Access Hollywood reported that the pro golfer posted on his web page earlier today .

Tiger wrote "As you know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week,and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts and bruises and right now I"m pretty sore. This situation is my fault and is obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again".

Tiger did refute one rumor that has been circulating alleging his That his wife Elin was in any way responsible for the accident. "The only person responsible for the accident is me, any other assertion is absolutely false".

[IamFogHat]

Can we all agree that this is one of those things that will never be resolved and we'll all move on from like when our sitting Vice President of the United States got drunk and shot his friend in the face while hunting nearly killing the poor man?




There are a lot of things about this country that still fucking sicken me.

[Snoogans]

can we all agree that no one cares. Tiger Woods is so awesome he can do whatever he wants and should still be treated like Tiger Woods

[JimBeam]

again did everyone miss how its a traffic incident? He doesnt have to talk to them ever if he doesnt want to

No there was damage to a neighbors property ( the tree ) as well as to municipal property ( the fire hydrant ) so an accident report, which would probably include an interview, would be necessary.

I'm sure at the very least his car insurer's going to want to know why they're being asked to pay for the damage on a car.

You get into an accident and try and tell the police you don't wanna talk about it then and that they can get back to you.

See how that plays.

[Snoogans]

No there was damage to a neighbors property ( the tree ) as well as to municipal property ( the fire hydrant ) so an accident report, which would probably include an interview, would be necessary.

I'm sure at the very least his car insurer's going to want to know why they're being asked to pay for the damage on a car.

You get into an accident and try and tell the police you don't wanna talk about it then and that they can get back to you.

See how that plays.

they reported in multiple places that the police have decided to treat it as a traffic incident and so he doesnt have to talk

[hanso]

I tried to look up Tiger Wood an asian porn actress, but can't do so with all the Tiger Woods news.

[JimBeam]

It'd be a much bigger deal obviously if he was drunk but all signs point to the fact that this is not the case ( or at least has been covered up enough ).

[A.J.]

Can we all agree that this is one of those things that will never be resolved and we'll all move on from like when our sitting Vice President of the United States got drunk and shot his friend in the face while hunting nearly killing the poor man?

Joe Biden got drunk and shot his friend?

[sailor]

Probably.

[SatCam]

It'd be a much bigger deal obviously if he was drunk but all signs point to the fact that this is not the case ( or at least has been covered up enough ).

According to all news reports he wasnt drunk...................he was...something else...that tiger would like to keep private

[Snoogans]

According to all news reports he wasnt drunk...................he was...something else...that tiger would like to keep private

on percosets

[Marc with a c]

According to all news reports he wasnt drunk...................he was...something else...that tiger would like to keep private

black?

[JimBeam]

Report: Police want Tiger hospital report

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4699907

I'm not sure why they are so actively pursuing this even if they think there was some physical conflict.

I'm under the impression that w/ domestic abuse if one party doesn't want to press charges, and the responding officers do not witness anything while there, that there is nothing they can do.

[Snoogans]

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4699907

I'm not sure why they are so actively pursuing this even if they think there was some physical conflict.

I'm under the impression that w/ domestic abuse if one party doesn't want to press charges, and the responding officers do not witness anything while there, that there is nothing they can do.

because the damage was to a neighbors property and police were called, i think they can press charges themselves. Also the neighbor might be allowed also, though I really doubt that would be the case.

Basically, I think the lying to the cops pissed them off

[TigerWoods]

Fuck the Police. Let them have the report. You know what it will say? That we treated the GREATEST HUMAN WHO EVER WALKED THE EARTH.

No one is as good as me, and no one drives the women crazy like me. The cops can suck my fuckin dick, cause Im Tiger Woods. Im above the fuckin law

[JimBeam]

because the damage was to a neighbors property and police were called, i think they can press charges themselves. Also the neighbor might be allowed also, though I really doubt that would be the case.

Basically, I think the lying to the cops pissed them off

We seemed to have totally flipped each other's opinions from yesterday.

I believe they should try and get to the bottom of the accident part but I'm not sure why they would pursue the domestic violence angle if Woods or his wife aren't pressing charges.

Unless they have reason to believe there's a lot more going on here.

[Snoogans]

We seemed to have totally flipped each other's opinions from yesterday.

I believe they should try and get to the bottom of the accident part but I'm not sure why they would pursue the domestic violence angle if Woods or his wife aren't pressing charges.

Unless they have reason to believe there's a lot more going on here.

well im not forming an opinion. My opinion is they should let him pay for the damage and leave him the fuck alone if he doesnt wanna pursue it. im just stating the reasons as to why they are doing what they are doing

[Snoogans]

what i think most are missing is, they arent pursuing tiger.

They want the hospital report to see if the injuries were from his accident or his wife so they can pursue charges against his wife, I believe.

[JimBeam]

If he's willing to make restitution to the neighbor and the fire hydrant folks and he wasn't drunk/high then I don't know where this goes.

[Snoogans]

If he's willing to make restitution to the neighbor and the fire hydrant folks and he wasn't drunk/high then I don't know where this goes.

read above, its going to charges against his wife for domestic violence. Basically they are tryin to find out if the cuts on his face were the accident or his wife.

[Jujubees2]

read above, its going to charges against his wife for domestic violence. Basically they are tryin to find out if the cuts on his face were the accident or his wife.

So your theory is that she beat the snot out of him and then he got in the car and got into an "accident" to make it look as though the injuries were from the accident.

I like it!

[Snoogans]

So your theory is that she beat the snot out of him and then he got in the car and got into an "accident" to make it look as though the injuries were from the accident.

I like it!

its not a theory of mine, it was in the news a bit. Apparently she scratched his face up, so he tried to leave. Her busting out this back window with a golf club was out of anger and what caused the accident. In his statement he said thats not true, but i dont think the cops bought that.

I think they are actually tryin to bring charges against Elin

[Snoogans]

new details have emerged:


A mere four days after saving her husband, Tiger Woods, from a parked automobile by smashing his windshield with a golf club, Elin Woods again saved her husband from a potentially catastrophic mosquito bite by cutting his penis off with an axe.

Police rushed to the golf superstar’s home in Isleworth, Florida, on Sunday morning after receiving calls from neighbors about Woods staggering out of his home in the middle of the night, carrying his own detached and bloody penis in his hand.

According to a statement from Woods’ publicist Glenn Greenspan, “At approximately 2:34AM this morning at their home, Tiger Woods and his wife Elin were up discussing how best to bring debt relief to the people of Africa, as they are known to do. At this time, Mrs. Woods noticed that a mosquito had landed on her husband’s penis and had begun sucking on it. I don’t need to tell you that mosquitoes are the number one carrier of malaria in the world today. Mrs. Woods knew that if she didn’t act quickly to get rid of that mosquito, her husband would almost certainly die.

“So, summoning an inner strength she never knew she had, she reached for an axe and bravely chopped off her husband’s genitalia,” the statement continued. “If Mrs. Woods had responded in the way that she had, the golf world may have lost a legend. My client is forever indebted to his wife for boldly slicing off his manhood.”

However, Isleworth police officers and others still have many questions for Mrs. Woods in the wake of her husband’s impromptu penile castration. They do not believe alcohol was involved, but anonymous sources say Woods had scratches all about his testicles and anus, and had a dagger sticking out of his shoulder at the time of the incident. “This story sounds awfully fishy to me,” said Harvey Levin of gossip giant TMZ. “If you wanted to get rid of the mosquito, why not a simple c-ckpunch?”

Tiger and Elin Woods were scheduled to meet with police on Monday morning, but have since delayed that meeting until a time that better suits their convenience. Greenspan estimates that time will be somewhere in the neighborhood of January 3045.

[TheMojoPin]

Imagine how huge that axe would have to be.

[sr71blackbird]

I would think that they have security cams on their property, and I bet they show some interesting activity that night. Wouldnt that have been just a few hours after Thanksgiving dinner? Maybe he was going to 7 Eleven and she wanted a Domo cup.

[SatCam]

She already told him twice.

[Reephdweller]

I would think that they have security cams on their property, and I bet they show some interesting activity that night. Wouldnt that have been just a few hours after Thanksgiving dinner? Maybe he was going to 7 Eleven and she wanted a Domo cup.

From TMZ...

Tiger Woods -- Let's Go to the Videotape (http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/30/tiger-woods-surveillance-tape-elin-nordegren-fhp-florida-highway-patrol/)

Posted Nov 30th 2009 11:06AM by TMZ Staff (http://www.tmz.com/bloggers/tmz-staff/)
There's something the Florida Highway Patrol wants even more than catching a glimpse of Tiger Woods' wounds -- the video from the surveillance cameras at the family home.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2009/11/1130_tiger_woods_home_spl142450_003_splash.jpg

TMZ has learned the home of Tiger and wife Elin Nordegren is fully loaded with security cameras and we're told at least one of the cameras show Tiger's exit from the house. We know the FHP wants the video.

As we first reported, the FHP wants a search warrant for Tiger's medical records. They also want the video -- the question, even if the FHP gets a warrant for the video ... what, if any, footage exists at this point?

Then again, it's possible Tiger (http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/28/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-fight-accident-suv-lacerations/) would willingly fork over the video. Or maybe not.

Stay tuned...
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0YO10MiPm



Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0YO0mvy0o

[Gay Lendo]

Before we all start thinking that this is going to cause Tiger any trouble, let's keep in mind that Kobe raped a chick and it's worked out ok for him.

I can't wait for Phil to ask Tiger to tell him how his ass tastes.

[epo]

How is this still in the news? Tiger should be pissed at his public relations staff.

DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THEY WORK FOR TIGER MOTHER FUCKING WOODS AND THIS NEEDED TO GO AWAY DAYS AGO?

What a bunch of fucking amateurs in crisis communications he must have working for him. They are literally costing him millions per day.

[Snoogans]

or making him millions. Fuck titleist, he can get timberland to sponsor him now

[KingGeno]

Heh. TMZ reporting some other hole has messed around with Tiger, and she has texts and emails and vm to prove it.

Stupid asshole.

[Snoogans]

Heh. TMZ reporting some other hole has messed around with Tiger, and she has texts and emails and vm to prove it.

Stupid asshole.

by this definition, every athlete in the world is a stupid asshole

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Tiger is the one athlete who should spread his seed...


he should be put to stud , so we can form a new super golfer species

[Snoogans]

Tiger is the one athlete who should spread his seed...


he should be put to stud , so we can form a new super golfer species

this might be the smartest thing you ever said.

[Snoogans]

ORLANDO, Fla. -- Tiger Woods did not appear to be driving under the influence and showed no signs of having been in a fight in the minutes after his car crash outside his mansion, an attorney for the neighbors who dialed 911 said Tuesday.

Woods' injuries were "consistent with a car wreck and inconsistent with him being beat up," attorney Bill Sharpe said. "The scratches on his face were consistent with someone who maybe was in a minor car accident and hit his head on the windshield. ... None of his injuries looked like he was beat up by his wife."


ok Tiger Woods is fuckin real now. Nothing bad and he STILL wont say shit to the cops.

[Snoogans]

Heh. TMZ reporting some other hole has messed around with Tiger, and she has texts and emails and vm to prove it.

Stupid asshole.

she probably fucked this guy and doesnt know its not really Tiger Woods

Tiger look alike (http://www.tigerwoodslookalike.com/)

[Mitch&Murray]

ok Tiger Woods is fuckin real now. Nothing bad and he STILL wont say shit to the cops.



If Tiger asked you you'd get on your knees and suck his cock even if it had crabs on it wouldn't you?

[Snoogans]

If Tiger asked you you'd get on your knees and suck his cock even if it had crabs on it wouldn't you?

no. Im still a straight male.






MAYBE a hand job. MAYBE

[Mitch&Murray]

no. Im still a straight male.





MAYBE a hand job. MAYBE



"Still"?
As in for right now
:tongue:

[Snoogans]

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greatest re enactment EVER

[TheMojoPin]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7i5FlC1MpkE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7i5FlC1MpkE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

greatest re enactment EVER

Hah! That's hysterical.

What the fuck is up with the hair on the police officer answering questions? I'll bet he wanted to look like that one dude from The Wire but failed.

[Snoogans]

Hah! That's hysterical.

What the fuck is up with the hair on the police officer answering questions? I'll bet he wanted to look like that one dude from The Wire but failed.

no idea. I just love the japanamation Elin Woods hitting Tiger's minivan apparently with a golf club

[Snoogans]

ahahahahaha. Tiger got a 164 dollar fine. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[TheMojoPin]

I hope he levels city hall by driving 164,000 pennies through it.

[sailor]

Nice math

[Snoogans]

I hope he levels city hall by driving 164,000 pennies through it.

Nice math

i was waitin to see how long this would take.

HOW CAN YOU BE SO BAD AT MATH AND LOVE BASEBALL STATS SO MUCH

[TheMojoPin]

The extra money is to pay for the fines from the destruction, d'uh.

I can't believe you idiots would think that Tiger Woods wouldn't plan ahead like that. Snoogans, this is especially shameful coming from you.

[Snoogans]

The extra money is to pay for the fines from the destruction, d'uh.

I can't believe you idiots would think that Tiger Woods wouldn't plan ahead like that. Snoogans, this is especially shameful coming from you.

when are you running for office?

[TheMojoPin]

When I've put a bullet in the brain of the last shark on Earth.

[Snoogans]

The crash came two days after The National Enquirer published a story alleging that Woods had been seeing a New York nightclub hostess, and that they recently were together in Melbourne, where Woods competed in the Australian Masters. The woman, Rachel Uchitel, denies the affair.

Keepin it all under control for 164 dollars and 4 points

[disneyspy]

Keepin it all under control for 164 dollars and 4 points

pretty much what i said would happen earlier in this thread when all the crazies were talking felonies and shit

[disneyspy]

tigers so bad he made the neighbor with the scuffed up tree give him money for damaging his car

[hanso]

I remember this wife takes golf club to car. In some movie.
Maybe war of the roses? I didn't find the clip however.
Anyone know of a movie with this in it?

[GregoryJoseph]

Tiger should be locked up for aiding and abetting a criminal.

That wife of his is obviously a lunatic.

[underdog]

Tiger should be locked up for aiding and abetting a criminal.

That wife of his is obviously a lunatic.

But she's so fucking hot.

[Kevin]

Tiger should be locked up for aiding and abetting a criminal.

That wife of his is obviously a lunatic.

Quit on your team.

Quit on your wife.

I'm sensing a trend here...

[Snoogans]

Quit on your team.

Quit on your wife.

I'm sensing a trend here...

he'll have to quit on the board when the bengals win the SB

[A.J.]

The extra money is to pay for the fines from the destruction, d'uh.

I can't believe you idiots would think that Tiger Woods wouldn't plan ahead like that. Snoogans, this is especially shameful coming from you.

Nice shot out of the bunker there.

[Aggie]

Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing

Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway. Rock me.

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.

Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.

It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.

What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT

Given Tiger’s racial heritage can we call this a Black Thai affair?

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.

First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger: Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room?

What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

[disneyspy]

Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing

Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway. Rock me.

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.

Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.

It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.

What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT

Given Tiger’s racial heritage can we call this a Black Thai affair?

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.

First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger: Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room?

What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.


fantastic aggie,you one funny chick

[KnoxHarrington]

Tiger Woods has apparently admitted to having affairs. From a statement released this morning:

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Read more: http://blogs.golf.com/presstent/2009/12/tiger-woods-admits-to-affairs-i-have-let-my-family-down.html#ixzz0YXwyQVPL

[Furtherman]

I heard one of the messages he left asking this girl to take her name off her phone because his wife went through his and might be calling her.


Oooooooh boy.



He's fucked.

[A.J.]

A diamond ring will make it all better.

[Aggie]

fantastic aggie,you one funny chick

i wish i could take credit for all of them but i can't. just pretend i made them all up. :happy:

[El Mudo]

This article by Charles P. Pierce about Tiger is from 97, but I find it to be fascinating, especially some of the (terrible) jokes Tiger tells:

Tiger responded. Tiger told us all some jokes.

This is one of the jokes that Tiger told:

The Little Rascals are at school. The teacher wants them to use various words in sentences. The first word is love. Spanky answers, "I love dogs." The second word is respect. Alfalfa answers, "I respect how much Spanky loves dogs." The third word is dictate. There is a pause in the room. Finally, Buckwheat puts up his hand.

"Hey, Darla," says Buckwheat. "How my dick ta'te?"




This is one of he jokes that Tiger told:

He puts the tips of his expensive shoes together, and he rubs them up and down against each other. "What's this?" he asks the women, who do not know the answer.

"It's a black guy taking off his condom," Tiger explains.




Link (http://www.esquire.com/features/the-game/tiger-woods-life-story-1997)

[Furtherman]

This is one of he jokes that Tiger told:

He puts the tips of his expensive shoes together, and he rubs them up and down against each other. "What's this?" he asks the women, who do not know the answer.

"It's a black guy taking off his condom," Tiger explains.

Huh?

[hammersavage]

A diamond ring will make it all better.

Ahh. The Kobe technique.

[TheMojoPin]

Huh?

Apparently his awesomeness does not translate to his sense of humor. How the fuck does that make any sense?!?

[Aggie]

Huh?

Black guy's dicks are so big they hang to the ground and they use their feet to take off the condom. Duh.