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Jesus vs Mohammed who wins? [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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WRESTLINGFAN
11-15-2009, 07:43 AM
Its the fight for all time and there are 2 prophets representing their religion. One claims to be the Son of God the other one just a mere messenger. Both represent religions that have a lot of controversies affiliated with them? Who wins in this Forum of Phenoms?

My money is with Jesus. He's got more support and while being a peaceful person watch out for some surprises. Also hes got the fans on his side especially that there have been a lot of attacks from the extremists in Islam. Plus even though the Jews dont see him as the messiah, he will have their support

opie's twisted balls
11-15-2009, 07:47 AM
Jesus, because he has god on his side.

boosterp
11-15-2009, 07:49 AM
Hmmmmm... mythology. I'd have to say Zeus comes in and cleans the mat with both their tongues.

sailor
11-15-2009, 07:51 AM
jesus destroyed satan. what chance does mo have?


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TheMojoPin
11-15-2009, 08:15 AM
Muhammad.

Because he's better than Jesus.

monkfish
11-15-2009, 08:21 AM
Car bomb beats handsaw every time.

epo
11-15-2009, 08:22 AM
Jesus was way cool, in fact he would've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.

However I don't know if that would translated to fighting.

Kevin
11-15-2009, 08:37 AM
jesus destroyed satan. what chance does mo have?


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Mo has closed alot of games for the Yankees.

He's the best closer ever.
He has over 500 saves
What has Jesus done?

Kevin
11-15-2009, 08:39 AM
Jesus was way cool, in fact he would've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.

However I don't know if that would translated to fighting.

How are you feeling this morning, Drunky?

SatCam
11-15-2009, 08:40 AM
Mohammed may have car bombs but Jesus has bunker busters and scud missles

pennington
11-15-2009, 09:17 AM
Mohammad wears a bomb strapped to his body when he meets Jesus. Jesus turns the bomb to bread and wine. They sit, mellow out and look at the girls. Peace prevails.

A.J.
11-15-2009, 09:31 AM
Jesus had more superpowers than Muhammad did.

sailor
11-15-2009, 09:32 AM
Mo has closed alot of games for the Yankees.

He's the best closer ever.
He has over 500 saves
What has Jesus done?

forgave your sins.

Ritalin
11-15-2009, 09:33 AM
Technical draw: accidental head butt.

SatCam
11-15-2009, 11:04 AM
Jesus was black, so he's definitely packing

underdog
11-15-2009, 11:06 AM
I think Superman or David Blaine would destroy both of them.

WRESTLINGFAN
11-15-2009, 02:48 PM
Mohammed has youth on his side hes about 600 years younger, However Mohammed has no special powers, Im sure Jesus could take an uppercut from him

thepaulo
11-15-2009, 03:18 PM
Jesus can kill with kindness.

JohnCharles
11-15-2009, 04:09 PM
Being from the same region of the planet, I assume that they are both terrorists.

STC-Dub
11-15-2009, 08:37 PM
Santa Claus

Death Metal Moe
11-15-2009, 08:40 PM
...no comment.

JohnGacysCrawlSpace
11-16-2009, 07:48 PM
God.

http://6.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kpaqbq9KQH1qzlwzdo1_400.jpg

Willmore
11-16-2009, 09:41 PM
It depends.

First of all, Mohammad was not divine. He never claimed any supernatural powers, he was simply a prophet of God (the same one as Jesus's dad, I know, awkward).

Second of all, if you're not too preoccupied with the whole messianic complex that Jesus had, you might accept that Jesus did have divine powers. So for the purposes of this, Jesus had magic fingers to a degree.

However, creating fish and healing the poor is all well and good, but those are not offensive powers, unless you strategically create a million fish in the desert and then lure Mohammad to that spot to suffer death by suffocation.

So, for the purposes of combat, neither party had any supernatural advantage.

Now, in a "who wins" battle, it doesn't specify if it's a one-on-one duel or a battle between them and whoever they can muster up as a posse. I'll cover both.

In a duel, it's complicated. Jesus, in the mind of Eastside Dave was a 6'4" blond blue-eyed bodybuilder. Let's go with that. Mohammad, while no depiction of him is allowed due to the muslim laws, was probably a 5'6" Bedouin Arab with a very skinny frame and a sore ass (from those camel rides across the Arab peninsula). However, you have to take into account that they lived 600 years apart. Imagine a duel between yourself and some dude from the renaissance: you've got a Glock and he's got a broadsword, who wins? Similar principles have to apply. So Mohammad has a technological advantage. What's more, Jesus turns the other cheek. So Mohammad might get 3-4 good shots in before Jesus even considers retaliating. Now, imagine if those shots were with a scimitar - Mohammad's legendary Zulfiqar - across the mid-section? Jesus would be bleeding profusely by now. Assuming that Jesus temporarily forgets his teachings of non-violence, what then, he still can't do anything, he's never hit anyone in his life, how is he supposed to learn now? I don't think there's much Jesus can do. But, then you have to think that daddy wouldn't like his spoiled brat of a son be pommeled by some dirty Arab. So God/Allah comes into the ring, kicks Mohammad's ass and the fight is stopped due to DQ.

Now, in a battle, assuming no divine intervention, it's a pretty one-sided affair. As advantageous as it might be to part the red sea and use that for strategic maneuvering, it's not going to be enough for Jesus. Mohammad actually built an army and led it to major victories, conquering the Arab peninsular, and unifying it under his new religion, that took fucking balls. Jesus had 12 guys he could count on and one of them turned out to be a snitch. Jesus never led an army into battle, he had no military training, he had no supplies because he had no land. He had no equipment for an army (unless you count the chairs Dave keeps mentioning), nothing. And really, even if Jesus could muster some kind of force, think about it, an army of Jews vs. an army of Arab Muslims, it's a landslide.

The only thing that Jesus has going for him is nepotism. His daddy got him every cushy job he ever got, and what did he do with it? He became a criminal and was crucified like one.

Penelope
11-16-2009, 10:13 PM
Jesus. I think the magical powers would be effective against Muhammad's large army. Also, Jesus can not be killed. He will rise from the dead.