Funniest thing you ever did or said to a stranger

[Chigworthy]

In my late teens and early twenties, my friends and I channeled our fatalist nihilism into acting like total idiots in public. Looking back, most of the "performance art" we did was pre-Jackass stupidity that invokes serious douche-chills, but it occasionally gelled into something funny.

One time, I was picking up my girlfriend from her apartment with my friend. I was driving my awful Toyota Tercel. The streets were abandoned, and it was a fairly shitty part of town, so the apartment's parking lot was lousy with abandoned shopping carts. As I was driving out of the lot, I reached out and grabbed the front of one of the carts and began dragging it along as we drove down the street. As I made a left turn onto another street, There was another car coming down that street and turning towards the apartments. Going about 25 mph, I let go of the cart as I turned, so it slammed into my door. I waved my fist around and screamed "Goddammit!" back towards the apartments. What the person driving the other car saw was a shopping cart flying down the street and smashing into a car, infuriating the driver, and as the other person completed her turn, expecting some sort of riot, or at least a lone lunatic firing shopping carts at passing motorists, all she found was a completely empty street. It's sort of hard to describe, but it must have been very odd to see. I still chuckle about it.

Post yours.

[Dougie Brootal]

i used to have drunk girls fire mugs at my head. in retrospect it was probably a bad idea. SUCK IT JOHNNY KNOXVILLE!

[RhinoinMN]

i used to have drunk girls fire muffs at my head. in retrospect it was probably a bad idea. SUCK IT JOHNNY KNOXVILLE!

Sounds delightful.

[instrument]

I was ezpecting you to throw the cart at the car, your story blew.

[RhinoinMN]

I was reaching into my car, bending over, to get my wallet. I blasted a monumental fart. There was a person standing behind me waiting for me to close my door so they could get into their car.

One of my shining moments.

[KEITHJAY]

We used to just pull up at crosswalks and start talking to strangers, alah Crocodile Dundee Hi how's it goin eh! what yah doin?

[west milly Tom]

At the bar one night around closing my chick and I noticed three dudes listening in on our conversation which was of a lovey dovey nature so we pretended to get into a battle over her "kids" and exhusband "Leroy" who wasn't paying child support. We had these guys dying to the point where the couldn't stip pretending not to listen. Then we acted all mad about them being in our business. It was a great funny bonding moment for us and pretty funny.

[nate1000]

"Hi, I'm fuck wanna drunk?"

[Chigworthy]

I was ezpecting you to throw the cart at the car, your story blew.

Wrong thread, meanie. (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=84181&highlight=meanest)

[Judge Smails]

Back in 1987 I was a senior in high school. Due to a chain of events too convoluted to get into here, I went to the Senior Masquerade dressed as Hitler. I shaved my mustache into the Hitler 'stache and everything (this was a full 22 years before Fez's Baby Hitler stunt.). The costume was a hit and I was voted Best Male by my class. Needless to say the faculty was none too pleased.

Well, if that wasn't bad enough, my friends and I decided to visit the local shopping mall, where we worked, in full costume. Being an asshole teen, I was laughing my ass off at the shocked/disgusted looks I was getting as I goose-stepped through the foodcourt. I even threw in a couple Heil Hitler salutes and yelled at one of my Jewish classmates that "We'll be back for you later."

Eventually, after much discussion and protests on my behalf by a grassroots coalition of my classmates, the school administration relentented and included a picture of me in my full Hitler regalia in the yearbook.

[Dougie Brootal]

Back in 1987 I was a senior in high school. Due to a chain of events too convoluted to get into here, I went to the Senior Masquerade dressed as Hitler. I shaved my mustache into the Hitler 'stache and everything (this was a full 22 years before Fez's Baby Hitler stunt.). The costume was a hit and I was voted Best Male by my class. Needless to say the faculty was none too pleased.

Well, if that wasn't bad enough, my friends and I decided to visit the local shopping mall, where we worked, in full costume. Being an asshole teen, I was laughing my ass off at the shocked/disgusted looks I was getting as I goose-stepped through the foodcourt. I even threw in a couple Heil Hitler salutes and yelled at one of my Jewish classmates that "We'll be back for you later."

Eventually, after much discussion and protests on my behalf by a grassroots coalition of my classmates, the school administration relentented and included a picture of me in my full Hitler regalia in the yearbook.

useless without pics.

[Judge Smails]

useless without pics.

When I get home I'll scan my yearbook. In the meantime, if you happen to have a 1987 Secaucus High School Yearbook laying around you can check it yourself.

Hoo-Hoo, Fez ripped me off. Tell 'em Doug.

[Dougie Brootal]

When I get home I'll scan my yearbook. In the meantime, if you happen to have a 1987 Secaucus High School Yearbook laying around you can check it yourself.

Hoo-Hoo, Fez ripped me off. Tell 'em Doug.

i seriously can not wait to see this!!!

[Dude!]

Back in 1987 I was a senior in high school. Due to a chain of events too convoluted to get into here, I went to the Senior Masquerade dressed as Hitler. I shaved my mustache into the Hitler 'stache and everything (this was a full 22 years before Fez's Baby Hitler stunt.). The costume was a hit and I was voted Best Male by my class. Needless to say the faculty was none too pleased.

Well, if that wasn't bad enough, my friends and I decided to visit the local shopping mall, where we worked, in full costume. Being an asshole teen, I was laughing my ass off at the shocked/disgusted looks I was getting as I goose-stepped through the foodcourt. I even threw in a couple Heil Hitler salutes and yelled at one of my Jewish classmates that "We'll be back for you later."

Eventually, after much discussion and protests on my behalf by a grassroots coalition of my classmates, the school administration relentented and included a picture of me in my full Hitler regalia in the yearbook.

:lol:

we'll be back for you later!

[Judge Smails]

OK, I came home for lunch. My scanner sucks dog dicks and I could not fgure out how to rotate this.

Here I am receiving my Best Male Costume Award from our class president. The guy in the French Maid outfit in the picture next to mine was my friend who also came to the mall with me.

Picture you sitting in the mall foodcourt with your family trying to enjoy your gyro when in walks Hitler and a tranny french maid telling the guys working the pizza stand to keep the oven warmed up. Man, we were assholes.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b47/alden97/ThursdayOctober012009.jpg?t=1254415246

[Dougie Brootal]

OK, I came home for lunch. My scanner sucks dog dicks and I could not fgure out how to rotate this.

Here I am receiving my Best Male Costume Award from our class president. The guy in the French Maid outfit in the picture next to mine was my friend who also came to the mall with me.

Picture you sitting in the mall foodcourt with your family trying to enjoy your gyro when in walks Hitler and a tranny french maid telling the guys working the pizza stand to keep the oven warmed up. Man, we were assholes.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b47/alden97/ThursdayOctober012009.jpg?t=1254415246

nice avatar dick.

[Ritalin]

I was walking with a friend in Chinatown - both of us high as kites - and I dragged him into one of those open air seafood places, the ones that sell fish on ice and have baskets of who knows what on the sidewalk, and I asked the guy behind the counter in a really loud voice if they had any bearded clams.

"Wha?"

"Bearded clams. Bearded clams. Have the bearded clams come in yet?"

The guy behind the counter turned and asked the guy next to him something in chinese, and that guy went into the back, and came back out and reported to the first guy, who reported to me.

"No, no bearded clams."

"Oh. Do you know where I can get some?"

The two chinese guys conferred, then rendered the verdict.

"No. No bearded clam anywhere in city. Maybe next week."

Well, that was it. We both started howling.

I forgot all about that.

[KC2OSO]

we've started a sort of game of beeping and waving at everyone on the side of the road. indigents, bus stop people, pretty much everyone.

just a beep and a wave.

if they wave back, that's a point for you.

if they don't wave, no point.

:bye:

[KC2OSO]

I was walking with a friend in Chinatown - both of us high as kites - and I dragged him into one of those open air seafood places, the ones that sell fish on ice and have baskets of who knows what on the sidewalk, and I asked the guy behind the counter in a really loud voice if they had any bearded clams.

"Wha?"

"Bearded clams. Bearded clams. Have the bearded clams come in yet?"

The guy behind the counter turned and asked the guy next to him something in chinese, and that guy went into the back, and came back out and reported to the first guy, who reported to me.

"No, no bearded clams."

"Oh. Do you know where I can get some?"

The two chinese guys conferred, then rendered the verdict.

"No. No bearded clam anywhere in city. Maybe next week."

Well, that was it. We both started howling.

I forgot all about that.

::chuckle::

[Chigworthy]

we've started a sort of game of beeping and waving at everyone on the side of the road. indigents, bus stop people, pretty much everyone.

just a beep and a wave.

if they wave back, that's a point for you.

if they don't wave, no point.

:bye:

This reminds me of one of my favorite tricks from the old days. Anytime you drive by a porn shop, honk and wave to the gentleman who is trying to discreetly pull out of the parking lot with his new "batch" of domestic contraband. The poor prick will be worried for weeks about who saw him at the jack shop.

[KC2OSO]

Right? you should have to pay and pay for "marital aids". fucking outskirts of town assholes. just buy a dildo through the regular mail like everyone else does.

[Ponyboy]

This happened recently. I was giving a lift to a friend's sister to Smithtown...I had just met her. As we were passing the statue at the intersection of 25 and 25A, where the statue of the bull is, she looks and says "Boy, that bull has a big penis". I, without thinking, say "You call that big?"!!

[Snoogans]

my cousin paid me 10 bucks to ask some hot chick in the mall to blow me once. I did. I had a handprint on my face for like 5 days. But I also had 10 extra bucks. At 15 years old, thats pretty huge