respect my privacy!!!

[SHANEFROMGA]

Okay, my oldest daughter is now 11 going on 12 and she is , like most girls her age, developing physically in the "womanly" areas. As such she is becoming more modest when she is undressed. She has a good friend who she spends the nite over at her house and some times they go to her friends aunt and uncles house to swim in their pool. The aunt will walk in the room when the girls are changing into or out of their swim suits and sit down and start talking, or sometimes just stand there looking on. This makes my daughter very uncomfortable, but she's afraid to say anything to the aunt. We don't think she means any harm or is perving out, but she has no respect for the privacy of my young girl. We, my wife and I, are up in the air as to if we should say anything to this lady or just let it slide. We don't want to offend this person but I don't want my daughter being uncomfortable while over at their house swimming. Comments.

[ScottFromGA]

fuck that shit dude...I'd say something to the Aunt.


but then again, thats just coming from an Uncle that runs his mouth when shit upsets him....

[IamFogHat]

Oh aunt Pauline.
Seriously though I would get the message across via the friend to the aunt, I think any sensible person would recognize what you're saying and would make it clear to the lady that it's not appropriate. I'm sure it's a harmless old lady not being cognizant of boundaries type deal and won't take much to fix. Good luck budday.

[beachbum]

It wouldn't hurt to politely talk to the aunt out of your daughters presence.The woman in question probably doesn't realize your kids sensitivity over the issue.I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.Maybe even have your wife do the talking.

[Gvac]

It wouldn't hurt to politely talk to the aunt out of your daughters presence.The woman in question probably doesn't realize your kids sensitivity over the issue.I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.Maybe even have your wife do the talking.

Bingo.

Women are better at this sort of thing.

"You remember how self-conscious we were at that age, right?"

[IamFogHat]

Bingo.

Women are better at this sort of thing.

"You remember how self-conscious we were at that age, right?"

I third that.

[ScottFromGA]

I say punch her.


ahhh shit, the Uncle in me is coming out again.

[~Katja~]

teach your daughter to be assertive as she is turning into a teen.
Being able to say a quick " Do you mind, we are changing" to a relative will make it much easier to tell the same to other friends or adults in her life that might invade her privacy.
There is nothing wrong in letting your daughter know that she has the right to say something herself.

[Farmer Dave]

absent talking to the aunt, she could always change in the bathroom behind a closed door.

[beachbum]

teach your daughter to be assertive as she is turning into a teen.
Being able to say a quick " Do you mind, we are changing" to a relative will make it much easier to tell the same to other friends or adults in her life that might invade her privacy.
There is nothing wrong in letting your daughter know that she has the right to say something herself.

This is good.Some girls do have a problem with assertiveness though.Mine is ten and already starting to develop.I foresee similar problems in my near future.I still think a stealthy chat with the aunt couldn't hurt.

[AngelAmy]

If your daughter is uncomfortable but too afraid to say something my opinion is that she's coming to you because she wants you to do something about it. Who cares if that other woman is offended (even though she shouldnt be) your daughter is more important. i dont care how old someone is, if theyre not your kid you shouldnt be seeing them naked. (unless theyre like a baby baby)

[~Katja~]

This is good.Some girls do have a problem with assertiveness though.Mine is ten and already starting to develop.I foresee similar problems in my near future.I still think a stealthy chat with the aunt couldn't hurt.
no I agree, talk to the ant without telling your daughter, but still teach her assertiveness at the same time. Teach her to deal with her problems directly, but make her feel strong and confident about it. It is her body, nobody has the right to see it, but she should be able to convey that herself as well, what better way to practice that than with a relative.

[Stuft]

no I agree, talk to the ant without telling your daughter, but still teach her assertiveness at the same time. Teach her to deal with her problems directly, but make her feel strong and confident about it. It is her body, nobody has the right to see it, but she should be able to convey that herself as well, what better way to practice that than with a relative.

Agreed. 100%. Your daughter should know how to assert herself in a situation like this and what better way to teach her? It's great that she felt comfortable enough w/ you as a parent to let you know, which makes me think, too, that you should say something to the friend's aunt as well...but she should know it's ok for her to say to the woman that she'd like some privacy - nothing wrong with that at all.

There is a down side to having a child, that age, that isn't afraid to assert herself, tho. Alot of people will take offense (unnecessarily) to an outspoken pre-teen and take it for brattiness. But it's more important HOW your daughter feels/perceives the situation.

[biggirl]

absent talking to the aunt, she could always change in the bathroom behind a closed door.

This is what I was going to propose what Farmer Dave said. Also....

I think it is weird that the aunt comes in there at all while they are changing. When I was growing up we were taught to change behind closed doors and knock before entering. My mom would never have even walked in on me, let alone an aunt.