I might be a grave robber [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 09:07 AM

A guy in my office died about a month ago, and his cubicle has been empty since, they have not assigned it to anyone. They had a roll of paper towels in there and there was a spill, and I ran in to grab the roll, and saw he had a red swingline stapler like that guy in Office Space. So, I took my drab black one and swapped it with the dead guys. Does that make me a grave robber? Have you ever taken something that belonged to a dead person? Is it "wrong"?

mendyweiss

08-31-2009, 09:11 AM

His ghost will haunt you for eternity.

instrument

08-31-2009, 09:12 AM

They bury people in their cubicles where you live? Weeeirrrddd

brettmojo

08-31-2009, 09:17 AM

Grave robbing usually requires robbing from a grave.

~Katja~

08-31-2009, 09:18 AM

wow it must smell bad in your office... and the stapler belonged to the company, not him

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 09:34 AM

He was cremated. His urn is still there. Anyone ever aquire things from the dead? I feel a little weird thinking a dead mans hand was using this stapler.

mikeyboy

08-31-2009, 09:35 AM

He was cremated. His urn is still there.

Please tell me you're kidding.

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 09:37 AM

There is also a nice aluminum coat rack and a bunch of those pin clips on his wall. Giant ones.

SatCam

08-31-2009, 09:48 AM

There is also a nice aluminum coat rack and a bunch of those pin clips on his wall. Giant ones.

why dont you just dig him up and fuck him you heartless bastard

Tall_James

08-31-2009, 09:55 AM

why dont you just dig him up and fuck him you heartless bastard

We should make you a mod.

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 10:27 AM

A mod at trashing ME :)

STC-Dub

08-31-2009, 01:28 PM

He was cremated. His urn is still there. Anyone ever aquire things from the dead? I feel a little weird thinking a dead mans hand was using this stapler.

I would be freaked out too if I saw a dead mans hand using my stapler.

FrogSlayer

08-31-2009, 01:40 PM

It's a Swingline. completely justifiable

razorboy

08-31-2009, 01:45 PM

Nah, it just makes you bad at making up stories.

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 03:07 PM

It's so weird, because his parents lived in Montana and I think there was no love lost. He lived alone and I think he was gay. He was very quiet and swishy the way he walked. He was very dick for a few months, and eventually required hospitalization. He got bed pneumonia and died. His family never came, and they had his body cremated. I don't know why, but his only possesions outside his apartment are in his cubicle. The company is awaiting a family member to pick up his laptop and clothes and his ashes. It's all packed up in his cubicle. Because he was sick, no one wanted to go into his cubicle. So, they were trying to clean it and had alcohol and cleaners along with these thick wipers on his desk. The coffee machine broke and overflowed and we needed to get rags, so I ran into the cubicle and grabbed the wipers, and that's when I saw the stapler.

Reynolds

08-31-2009, 03:20 PM

He's teaming up with the ghost of this guy

http://www.wackypackages2007.com/images/ANS3/brawny.jpg

Prepare yourself.

lleeder

08-31-2009, 03:26 PM

You should have use the ashes to absorb the spill.

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 04:07 PM

It's like the cheapest urn that could be bought. Imagine resting in peace in a coffee can next to your desk while your parents don't give enough of a shit to ask the company to pack you up and UPS you back to them so you could be laid to rest with some dignity?
I think he owed some money and the hospital seized his apartment and car.
Someone took his monitor and mouse already. I'm sure his drawers were rifled though.

tele7

08-31-2009, 04:24 PM

It's so weird, because his parents lived in Montana and I think there was no love lost. He lived alone and I think he was gay. He was very quiet and swishy the way he walked. He was very dick for a few months, and eventually required hospitalization. He got bed pneumonia and died. His family never came, and they had his body cremated. I don't know why, but his only possesions outside his apartment are in his cubicle. The company is awaiting a family member to pick up his laptop and clothes and his ashes. It's all packed up in his cubicle. Because he was sick, no one wanted to go into his cubicle. So, they were trying to clean it and had alcohol and cleaners along with these thick wipers on his desk. The coffee machine broke and overflowed and we needed to get rags, so I ran into the cubicle and grabbed the wipers, and that's when I saw the stapler.

freudian typo?

I say put the stapler back and try poking around for his wallet, ....but only take what you need. You don't want to come off as greedy.

SatCam

08-31-2009, 05:08 PM

It's like the cheapest urn that could be bought. Imagine resting in peace in a coffee can next to your desk while your parents don't give enough of a shit to ask the company to pack you up and UPS you back to them so you could be laid to rest with some dignity?

Is there a Ralphs around here?

http://tarmojuristo.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/walter.jpg

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 05:10 PM

But I always wanted the red stapler! Plus, sooner or later someone else will claim it. Most likely, it is company property, and I switched mine with his, not like I "stole it".

Farmer Dave

08-31-2009, 05:23 PM

Now just for fun, switch his ashes with something out of the bottom of your bbq. Throw in a rib bone. That would be a hoot.

Death Metal Moe

08-31-2009, 05:36 PM

You're not a grave robber unless you have blisters from the shovel and dirt under your nails. And a cool new necklace.

SinA

08-31-2009, 05:38 PM

Having seen Office Space, and assuming the dead guy had too, I think his spirit might appreciate the cosmic justice in you taking it from his desk.

sr71blackbird

08-31-2009, 05:52 PM

Bless you SinA!

razorboy

08-31-2009, 06:01 PM