Concert Assholes

[TheMojoPin]

We've got a lot of people here who have been to many a live show over the years, be it at stadiums, clubs or just someone's backyard. In all that time and all those shows, surely you have encountered many types of concergoers that you see over and over again, specifcally asshole types that always insist on doing things that just make them fucking awful to the people around them. What types of concert assholes have you seen again and again over the years?

The Wilco thread inspired me to do this because of my hatred of concert shutterbugs. Yes, some of these people DO take many amazing pictures at shows...we get it. Stop lugging the equipment with you and knocking into the people around you or pushing through the crowd trying to get the best angle of the fucking keyboardist at the bajillionth completely unremarkable show the band is putting on. I've had friend over the years that drove me nuts with this because it's like their sole purpose for going to a show: actually watching and listening is simply incidental to getting photos or video that they seemingly want just as proof that they were at this totally meaningless show. Yeah, OK, fine, if it's some "historic" reunion or something of some kind of importance, great...otherwise leave the shit at home and just go enjoy the show and the company of the people around you. This has just gotten worse with advances in camera technology since the cameras being smaller and phones having cameras means more people think they're shooting pros and they HAVE to have these fucking pictures that nobody besides them cares about.

STOP BEING CONCERT ASSHOLES.

[realmenhatelife]

People using their cell phones to do anything while a band is on- texting, recording, pictures etc.

The 'Whoooo' guy.

'Yell out shit I think is funny' guy

'Stinks like BO' guy

'I'm ironic' guy including I'm wearing something ironic, I've got ironic facial hair, I rode here on a pink bike I got from a thrift store, I've never had a job and my parents are rich but I like to dress like I'm poor


I saw a shutterbug get some justice on another messageboard. This kid is unbearably annoying and always post his 9 million terrible snapshots, the board is also frequented by a fairly respected local music photographer who really chumped this kid in one of his threads after the shutterbug said he aspired to be like the photographer, much to the amusement of all. He played it like 'Oh, I respect your criticism' and the general reply was 'I'm pretty sure he was just saying you're dogshit.'

[IMSlacker]

'Stinks like BO' guy

This guy is the worst. Also, patchouli doesn't cover up your BO. I don't know who told you it does, but they're wrong. Take a shower, asshole!

[Furtherman]

Expensive beers are concert assholes.


Also, I stand at 99% of the concerts I go to. A concert asshole will be the guy yelling "sit down!"

Sorry pal, but I'm movin' to the Allmans, I'm jumpin' at Gov't Mule, and I'm flailin' at the Crowes. If your too old to stand, stay home or buy seats way up top, so you can look down on the rest of us having fun.

[ANC]

I'm jumpin' at Mule.

:lol:

[Furtherman]

:lol:

EDIT!

[A.J.]

I'm jumpin' at Mule

:lol:

"He he he...'mule'."

http://www.springfield-u.com/images/framegrabs/9F10/9F10-054.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

Even worse than assholes who can't figure out moshing is retarded are the "oh man, the music is mooooving me to DAAAAAANNNNCE" people. Moshers are at least typically relegated to the front of the stage if they show up, plus anyone above the age of 25 still fighting to be right up front is an asshole who deserves what they get. The dancers can appear anywhere in the crowd and their spastic interpretations or swaying will not be contained even if they are surrounded by people on all sides. These dancers are typically women and almost always are hippies or of the hippie-ish persuasion. It doesn't matter what the music is and it doesn't matter if they're totally out of place: they will sway for Mos Def just as much as they will sway for a reuinted Dinosaur Jr. as they will sway for the White Stripes.

Similar to this are the Gossip Girl-looking "hot grrrrrls" that show up if the band or show is any kinds of trendy and are determined to dance and scream as wildly as their deluge of overpriced alcohol. If these girls are there only on their own, that will not stop them if they are there with their boyfriend since she must "sexy dance" for him regardless of how much room there is or what the music sounds like.

[KingGeno]

Most teenagers.

And any asshole who for some reason brings a whistle to the show. Fucking assholes.

[Furtherman]

Similar to this are the Gossip Girl-looking "hot grrrrrls" that show up if the band or show is any kinds of trendy and are determined to dance and scream as wildly as their deluge of overpriced alcohol. If these girls are there only on their own, that will not stop them if they are there with their boyfriend since she must "sexy dance" for him regardless of how much room there is or what the music sounds like.

These are also the assholes who stand at the back of the room and scream conversations at each other during the show. Why did you even come here to yap to your girlfriends all night?

[RhinoinMN]

Concert Assholes. My sister and her husband getting into a loud shouting fight while Steve Winwood sings "Presence of the Lord".

[JerseyRich]

In NY this is a terrible thing that happens at EVERY SINGLE SHOW that I go to...

Young women and young men that TALK THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FUCKING SHOW!!!

Seriously? You came here and you're going to talk about how your roommate is pregnant, and how your coworker is banging the boss?

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC!

[epo]

Stop yelling out song names. They have a setlist and aren't going to alter it for your dumb ass.

[realmenhatelife]

This guy is the worst. Also, patchouli doesn't cover up your BO. I don't know who told you it does, but they're wrong. Take a shower, asshole!

Something fundamental snapped in my head one day to where I went to hating patchouli to being incredibly aroused by girls wearing it.

[Whitey]

People who bring baby strollers. I worked the porta-johns at woodstock 94 ,we had a giant water truck to flush the johns out with .After our shift was over we sat on the water truck preventing people from climbing it and hosed down topless chicks . Out of nowhere some dumb lady with her offspring wheel right into the stream of water and starts screaming"MY BABY!" Everybody screamed at her what kind of parent brings a baby to woodstock? Talk about a Buzzkill.

[biggirl]

I am probably a concert asshole...I like to dance, and chat about the concert. I dance when everyone is standing. I chat if there is something worth chatting about that concert.

There was a rude ass in front of us at the Clapton/Winwood concert that kept telling us to be quiet...he was trying to enjoy the show...for one we were barely talking, two, we paid good money for our seats too...we'll talk if we want.

It is one thing to talk about unimportant stuff during the concert, but if you are telling your neighbor that you love this song or wow, he sounds great...what's the big deal???

[JerseyRich]

I am probably a concert asshole...I like to dance, and chat about the concert. I dance when everyone is standing. I chat if there is something worth chatting about that concert.

There was a rude ass in front of us at the Clapton/Winwood concert that kept telling us to be quiet...he was trying to enjoy the show...for one we were barely talking, two, we paid good money for our seats too...we'll talk if we want.

It is one thing to talk about unimportant stuff during the concert, but if you are telling your neighbor that you love this song or wow, he sounds great...what's the big deal???


Yes, you are the person we are all talking about.

Please be quiet.

[Dude!]

I am probably a concert asshole...I like to dance, and chat about the concert. I dance when everyone is standing. I chat if there is something worth chatting about that concert.

There was a rude ass in front of us at the Clapton/Winwood concert that kept telling us to be quiet...he was trying to enjoy the show...for one we were barely talking, two, we paid good money for our seats too...we'll talk if we want.

It is one thing to talk about unimportant stuff during the concert, but if you are telling your neighbor that you love this song or wow, he sounds great...what's the big deal???

you were talking enough
that people complained

very selfish

[RhinoinMN]

Stop yelling out song names. They have a setlist and aren't going to alter it for your dumb ass.

I beg to differ.




FREEEEEEEEEBIIIRRRRRD!!!

[JerseyRich]

I beg to differ.




FREEEEEEEEEBIIIRRRRRD!!!


Wow...You really are the nightmare couple at a concert.

[KC2OSO]

Sorry about the music but...

we've all had standing - waving - wasted guy in front of us.

Everybody else is sitting - it's ok to sit down too.

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[Tallman388]

What about the asshole who tries to box you out on the floor? I went to see Ben Harper a while back and my friends were basically all in front of the stage, I went to grab a couple of drinks before the show started. On my way back he came out to start playing and as I worked my way back to my friends, this black hippy chick throws her ass into me as if to let me know that she wasn't letting me through. As I try to slide past her she keeps boxing me out to the point that she was now directly in between me and my group. So I pass my friend his drink over her head to let her know I'm with them, but that message obviously didn't register. So my friend, who did pick up on her move got her attention and let her know that the space she had previously occupied was now filled with people. She spent the rest of the show giving us the eye like it was our fault she lost her spot. Don't try the Rodman act and you wouldn't have lost your spot!

[A.J.]

<-------------- (see top Mod Quote)

[Whitey]

I also cant stand the people on crutches who hover around the mosh pits and then act surprised when they get knocked over.

[JerseyRich]

Sorry about the music but...

we've all had standing - waving - wasted guy in front of us.

Everybody else is sitting - it's ok to sit down too.

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You deserve what you got by going to see that show...:tongue:

[fezident]

"He he he...'mule'."

http://www.springfield-u.com/images/framegrabs/9F10/9F10-054.jpg


Fucking awesome.
:clap:

[RhinoinMN]

I also cant stand the people on crutches who hover around the mosh pits and then act surprised when they get knocked over.

I aint gonna walk again!

[fezident]

I've seen Butch Walker perform at least a dozen times.

He is/was a bit of a heart throb and there's always young chickiepoos there who squeal at his every move.
During the show, there's always one song where he brings it waaaay down and performs a somber ballad about a young women he knew who comitted suicide. It's a sad song. But... without fail, there's always some young girlies who take that quiet opportunity to screeeam "I LOVE YOU, BUTCH!" while he's up there quietly showing some real emotion. Very often, there's a bit of rehearsal and they attempt to all scream it together.

Sometimes, chicks really fuckin' suck.

[Kublakhan61]

Television played Summerstage a fews ago -I happened to be standing in front of a guy who doubted "any of these kids understood the importance of the Tom Verlaine figure in the history of NYC Punk." This guy was there. This guy was also an Asshole. He didn't stop.

[beachbum]

How about the"I just bought a shitty concert shirt in the lobby and I have to wear it now"guy?

Also old people who can afford good tickets and take up space in front while trying to look hip.

[BlackSpider]

I saw the first two songs of a Stones concert.
They lady behind me got me and my friend kicked out.
My buddy lit a joint, and she bitched to security "I'm pregnant, I can't be smelling that"
I have news for the cunt, The big cloud over the arena wasn't from one joint.
Stay home and play a record.
I wonder if she goes to a Dead show and bitches about the hippies and acid.
Now I'm fuckin' pissed off again...

[TheMojoPin]

You should be, paying for Stones tickets and all.

[Thomas Merton]

The after the show uber wasted person who lost their friends, needs a ride/money...

[GreatAmericanZero]

i was at a WEEN concert and this creepy guy was dancing really animated to the music right next to me. Like...too close to me. It felt kinda gay. I tried to move away from him (since it was a GA crowd) and no matter where i seemed to move he would show up next to me. I wanted to punch him in the face

A year later i went to see WEEN again and he was at that concert too. it was at a bigger venue so i was sure to not be anywhere near him from the start


I just bought tickets to see them again, this time in Knoxville (anyone know anything cool to do in that town?)..hopefully he won't be there being that its 700mi away

[ImNotGvac]

The Wilco thread inspired me to do this because of my hatred of concert shutterbugs. Yes, some of these people DO take many amazing pictures at shows...we get it. Stop lugging the equipment with you and knocking into the people around you or pushing through the crowd trying to get the best angle of the fucking keyboardist at the bajillionth completely unremarkable show the band is putting on.

I can't stand these people either - I love when you have a great spot standing in front of the band and they try to squeeze in front of you and point at the camera like that's a legitimate reason for pushing past you.

[~Katja~]

tall people shoving themselves in front of short people who have been standing in a good spot for hours... then turning around saying "Sorry, I have nowhere else to go"
I mean really? NOWHERE? How about you stand right behind me instead... fucker! Take your three beer in your hand and get lost!

[BlackSpider]

tall people shoving themselves in front of short people who have been standing in a good spot for hours... then turning around saying "Sorry, I have nowhere else to go"
I mean really? NOWHERE? How about you stand right behind me instead... fucker! Take your three beer in your hand and get lost!



You couldn't see Wilco 'cause Hammersavage cut in front of you...?

[Gvac]

I scream "SHOW US YOUR TITS!" to underage girls that are there with their parents.

People LOVE it!

[~Katja~]

You couldn't see Wilco 'cause Hammersavage cut in front of you...?
worse yet, he carried Rich on his shoulders AND stood in front of me... it was a flash back to the Berlin Wall days

[~Katja~]

I scream "SHOW US YOUR TITS!" to underage girls that are there with their parents.

People LOVE it!
Did you go to the Hannah Montana concert? Wait... Jonas Brothers, right?

[jennysmurf]

I always seem to get behind the "I don't know who this band is, but my company gave me tickets to this show, cause they have a row reserved" people. So, they sit there and drink, scream conversations to one another and block my view. Boo.:thumbdown:

[jennysmurf]

worse yet, he carried Rich on his shoulders AND stood in front of me... it was a flash back to the Berlin Wall days

:laugh:

[Furtherman]

I always seem to get behind the "I don't know who this band is, but my company gave me tickets to this show, cause they have a row reserved" people. So, they sit there and drink, scream conversations to one another and block my view. Boo.:thumbdown:

I always seem to get the tall guy - the 10 foot monster - who inevitable snakes through the crowd only to park himself right in front of me. Happened to me twice last night.

[jennysmurf]

I always seem to get the tall guy - the 10 foot monster - who inevitable snakes through the crowd only to park himself right in front of me. Happened to me twice last night.

Did you pinch his butt?

[~Katja~]

I always seem to get the tall guy - the 10 foot monster - who inevitable snakes through the crowd only to park himself right in front of me. Happened to me twice last night.
maybe Wilco just attracts giant freaks in plaid shirts... I mean seriously...

[Furtherman]

Did you pinch his butt?

It was a light cusp.

[jennysmurf]

It was a light cusp.

You're my kind o' guy.

[SonicAssault]

Personally I can't stand the assholes in the smaller clubs (mostly in NYC) that stand in the access ways to the stage during changeovers and stare at you with that "I'm so cool and hip and you don't get the music/vibe, man" look when you are trying to get on stage and set up in the ten to fifteen minutes the club gives you to switch bands. And also they seem to get just "a bit" upset when you "nudge" them out of the way with your guitar amp.

[JohnGacysCrawlSpace]

Hardcore kids are all assholes.