My wife called an African-American guest to our home "uppity"

[Judge Smails]

Holy shit! I wish I had a hole to crawl into.

We had a grammar school graduation pool party for my son today and he had over a few of his closest friends and their families. Of course all the wives seemed to know each other and I was stuck making mindless small-talk with the other dads.

Now, I had met this guy briefly one time before at a birthday party. He seemed like a normal guy to me. He wasn't running around with a lampshade on his head but he wasn't exactly being a wallflower either. Just normal run-of-the-mill party banter as we watched the soccer game on t.v.

My wife must have seen him be the life of the party at other occassions because she thought something was wrong with him. As I'm grabbing a beer from the cooler I overhear my wife saying the following to this guy's wife:

"What's the matter with your husband? He's so quiet today. He's usually much more uppity."

The first chance I get I grab my wife aside in the kitchen and ask her what the sweet fuck got into her? She swears that she had no idea that "uppity" was not a word she should be using in such company. She just meant that he was, you know, Uppity - as in up and full of energy. I kid you fucking not - this is my life. I don't even want to think what these people were talking about us on the trip home.

[Dude!]

she shouldn't have said that
to Michelle

[WampusCrandle]

hey, i love your wife. trust me - they ALL get uppity, if you know what i mean.

[Gvac]

hey, i love your wife. trust me - they ALL get uppity, if you know what i mean.

If you don't let them know their place, right buddy? :wink:

And don't worry Smails. It's not like she exposed herself to an underage boy or anything.

[Slumbag]

Man, if someone gets offended by her using that word in that context, they're foolish.

[JohnGacysCrawlSpace]

You allowed those people in your home?

[MacVittie]

is your wife Larry David?

[TheGameHHH]

she was probably the one at dusk to also yell out, 'is it me or is it getting dark in here?'

[underdog]

There's worse things you could have heard your wife say as you walked in.

"...MY bike."

"... Velcro on the ceiling."

"...the rest in the ashtray."

[boosterp]

You allowed those people in your home?

That was my thought.

[TheGameHHH]

There's worse things you could have heard your wife say as you walked in.

"...MY bike."

"... Velcro on the ceiling."

"...the rest in the ashtray."

still my all-time favorite

[WampusCrandle]

your family should live in a sun down town so you don't get in this kind of problem again.

[boosterp]

Even worse next thing we'll read from Smails is how he's hosting a Barmitsfa

[TheGameHHH]

Even worse next thing we'll read from Smails is how he's hosting a Barmitsfa

tell me you weren't being sarcastic with the spelling, cause thats awesome

[FatassTitePants]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cthCSXadyrI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cthCSXadyrI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[boosterp]

tell me you weren't being sarcastic with the spelling, cause thats awesome

:thumbup:

[Penelope]

At least she didn't say he was "well spoken"

[KC2OSO]

Holy shit! I wish I had a hole to crawl into.

We had a grammar school graduation pool party for my son today and he had over a few of his closest friends and their families. Of course all the wives seemed to know each other and I was stuck making mindless small-talk with the other dads.

Now, I had met this guy briefly one time before at a birthday party. He seemed like a normal guy to me. He wasn't running around with a lampshade on his head but he wasn't exactly being a wallflower either. Just normal run-of-the-mill party banter as we watched the soccer game on t.v.

My wife must have seen him be the life of the party at other occassions because she thought something was wrong with him. As I'm grabbing a beer from the cooler I overhear my wife saying the following to this guy's wife:

"What's the matter with your husband? He's so quiet today. He's usually much more uppity."

The first chance I get I grab my wife aside in the kitchen and ask her what the sweet fuck got into her? She swears that she had no idea that "uppity" was not a word she should be using in such company. She just meant that he was, you know, Uppity - as in up and full of energy. I kid you fucking not - this is my life. I don't even want to think what these people were talking about us on the trip home.
I wasn't there so I don't know the context but I'll venture that I think you should stand by your wife rather than get all offended over someone's feelings that might have been hurt by her innocent comments.
It sounds like you are over reacting.
How's life on the sofa?

[Judge Smails]

Obviously they were innocent comments as my wife is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. I didn't throw her under the bus or anything and start yelling "Don't listen to my cracker-ass racist wife. She doesn't know what she's saying." I spoke to her in private and told her that maybe that was the wrong word to use in that context and hopefully it won't come up again.

I just have no idea how this other couple took it. Am I wrong to feel bad thinking that they might classify us as racists to some degree?

[TripleSkeet]

Am I wrong to feel bad thinking that they might classify us as racists to some degree?

Yes. You are.

[KC2OSO]

Obviously they were innocent comments as my wife is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. I didn't throw her under the bus or anything and start yelling "Don't listen to my cracker-ass racist wife. She doesn't know what she's saying." I spoke to her in private and told her that maybe that was the wrong word to use in that context and hopefully it won't come up again.

I just have no idea how this other couple took it. Am I wrong to feel bad thinking that they might classify us as racists to some degree?
I just wouldn't be so concerned about how this other couple took the comment. If they are "Chapelle" then they got it or they didn't and if they are, "Not Chapelle" then they got it or they didn't.

[TheMojoPin]

Am I wrong to feel bad thinking that they might classify us as racists to some degree?

Definitely not. I'd be more concerned about what other words your wife is making up random definitions for.

[jennysmurf]

I'm sure the lady took it the way your wife meant it to be. Now, that being said, they may have had a good laugh on the way home about it, but I'm sure they weren't offended.

My friend volunteered at a school Halloween carnival, and they had a ring toss game called "Hoop the Spook." You can't make this stuff up.

[Landblast]

Am I wrong to feel bad thinking that they might classify us as racists to some degree?

no you are not wrong, they do classify,..(maybe not you) but your wife as maybe not racist but ignorant. they probably have been put in that situation from time to time all their lives.
so it's probably not as earth shattering as you think. but you did do the right thing by swiftly acknowledging the situation to your wife and to us here on this board and that's not a bad thing, your making more people aware of social situations like this by bringing it up here.

[Friday]

they are probably laughing, as most of us are, about the fact that your wife doesn't know the definition of Uppity. haha.

[PapaBear]

I've had more embarrassing moments. (the second story) (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1480327)

[Landblast]

they are probably laughing, as most of us are, about the fact that your wife doesn't know the definition of Uppity. haha.

you could of just said the "U" word. racist.

[TripleSkeet]

Why should you feel bad because your wife used a word to try to describe someone in a completely innocent way?


One of the definition of Uppity is self assertive. Was she really wrong in the definition? No.

Alot of times people on these boards blame white guilt in instances it doesnt apply. This isnt one of them. Sounds like white guilt right on the money to me.

[Furtherman]

uppity
One entry found.

Main Entry: up·pi·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈə-pə-tē\
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably from up + -ity (as in persnickity, variant of persnickety)
Date: 1880
: putting on or marked by airs of superiority : arrogant, presumptuous <uppity technicians> <a small uppity country>
— up·pi·ti·ness also up·pi·ty·ness noun


What's the big deal?

[mendyweiss]

And you didn't have a Carlo to Connie "talk" with your wife in the kitchen ?

[ANC]

uppity
One entry found.

Main Entry: up·pi·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈə-pə-tē\
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably from up + -ity (as in persnickity, variant of persnickety)
Date: 1880
: putting on or marked by airs of superiority : arrogant, presumptuous <UPPITY technicians>
— up·pi·ti·ness also up·pi·ty·ness noun


What's the big deal?

Persnickity Party-goer, Exceptional Cheese?

[TripleSkeet]

uppity
One entry found.

Main Entry: up·pi·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈə-pə-tē\
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably from up + -ity (as in persnickity, variant of persnickety)
Date: 1880
: putting on or marked by airs of superiority : arrogant, presumptuous <uppity technicians> <a small uppity country>
— up·pi·ti·ness also up·pi·ty·ness noun


What's the big deal?

On dictionary.com thats the first definition. The 2nd one was something like rebellious, self assertive.

I agree on whats the big deal though.

[TheMojoPin]

And when people around her are acting depressed she's always saying that they're going down on her. SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL.

[bigredd]

God dammit, that's funny. Did anyone spew beer or the beverage choice across the room? Nice.

[strawberrypop]

I don't get it.

Thinking you need to walk on eggshells around people of another race comes off as far more ignorant than using the word uppity.

It's not as if she said he was acting all lynchity or something.

[TripleSkeet]

I don't get it.

Thinking you need to walk on eggshells around people of another race comes off as far more ignorant than using the word uppity.

It's not as if she said he was acting all lynchity or something.

Yea, apparently when I take my kid to playground now I have to refer to all the black kids as girls and men because the word "boy" was used as a racist term in the past.

[strawberrypop]

If you meet a black guy named Toby, do you have to call him T-bone?

[tanless1]

uppity - dog diggity - scoobity- doobie ?
gotta rein in that white guilt brother, your out'a control and overly sensitive.

[TheMojoPin]

Yea, apparently when I take my kid to playground now I have to refer to all the black kids as girls and men because the word "boy" was used as a racist term in the past.

That's just silly if you honestly think like that.

[TripleSkeet]

That's just silly if you honestly think like that.

I dont. In my opinion that example is just as silly as feeling Smails wife did anything wrong in this situation.

[SatCam]

I didnt even know the schools in jersey were integrated

[TripleSkeet]

I didnt even know the schools in jersey were integrated

Im talking about public playgrounds. :tongue:

[WampusCrandle]

my mom still goes by 1950s rules, so i wish the only problem was her saying uppity.

[cougarjake13]

wow


did it all turn out well ??

[Contra]

http://www.clerks2.com/images/randal.jpg


"It's ok, she's taking it back."