Lessons You Learned from the Movies

[KnoxHarrington]

Let's face it: movies are educational. You're going to learn all kinds of stuff watching movies that they didn't tell you in school. And it's stuff you might be able to use.

Here's one thing I've learned, from "No Country for Old Men": if you find a couple of million bucks in a bag in the middle of nowhere, take the money, but leave the bag.

What else have you learned?

[ChrisTheCop]

If you have sex, you're gonna be murdered by a psychopath.

[drjoek]

Hot chicks should never take showers. They will die if they do.

[underdog]

If I hear a noise, don't go into the basement.

[weekapaugjz]

Zombies die by removal of head or destroying the brain.

[HBox]

Never cross the streams.

[nocountryjon1]

if you find a mask be careful when you put it on you might turn into a cartoon character or the fact that spiderman stinks and i dont like him

[disneyspy]

the homely chick is actually a hottie

[hammersavage]

The black guy dies first

[Coach]

Don't kick Wolverine in the nuts..he takes it personal.

[weekapaugjz]

Never shame an old gypsy woman.

[ChrisTheCop]

The best way to prove to a girl that nerds are as good as jocks, is to rape her on the moon.

[nocountryjon1]

The best way to prove to a girl that nerds are as good as jocks, is to rape her on the moon.

holy shit hahahahahaha:clap::clap::clap::clap:

[Foster]

any type of radiation will give you special abilities, not kill you like the government wants us to believe

[GreatAmericanZero]

anything said by an old black man is wise

[lleeder]

anything said by an old black man is wise

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll222/TMoney1995apw/John_Witherspoon_1.jpg

"Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin' up all the food. All the chitlins... All the pig's feet... All the collard greens... All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins... I like pigs feet. "

[Foster]

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll222/TMoney1995apw/John_Witherspoon_1.jpg

"Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin' up all the food. All the chitlins... All the pig's feet... All the collard greens... All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins... I like pigs feet. "

words to live by

[RingWraith]

I've learned never to say: "I'll be right back!" in any situation, especially at night.:dry:

[instrument]

Retards will always save the day.

[lleeder]

Retards will always save the day.

http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr134/jessica1335/goonies_sloth.jpg

[Marc with a c]

don't bet on red. ever!

[tanless1]

don't bet on red. ever!

bet black 3 times in a row and lost- didnt bet- hit black- bet black again.... you get the picture.

[tanless1]

"giving a woman money is the quickest way to make her hate you."

[weekapaugjz]

Retards will always save the day.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i311/denamiller83/tony-1.jpg

[MacVittie]

if you want to reach inner city kids in a classroom, teach them that shakespeare is like hip hop. they'll all get A's on the state test and go to good colleges.

[Devo37]

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

[pennington]

For some reason this only applies to the 1970's: Cars often lose 5 hubcaps during chases.

[denko]

if you stalk a girl long enough you'll win her over

[pennington]

Cops seem to get killed right before retirement.

[TooLowBrow]

no matter how new the protagonist is to a city, if hes being chased by cops, he'll know his way around better than they do

[SatCam]

evil doers usually password protect their computer system with the easiest, most guessable, most associated-with-them word/phrase possible

[disneyspy]

people with amnesia have mad skills

[meanmrbill]

That Chinaman is NOT the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

[RingWraith]

Villians like to monologue to the Hero instead of killing them immediately.

[drusilla]

you can relocate a dislocated shoulder by smacking it against a wall

brilliant!!

[denko]

you can make a car explode with a bullet and everything that falls off a cliff also explodes.

[pennington]

Bad guys can easily be knocked out with one punch and killed with one bullet. Villains, however, are nearly impossible to kill.

[Coach]

That it is OK to curse up a blue streak in front of your mother while beating the snot out of the school bully. Not Ok to curse in front of your Dad while helping him change a Tire and the dumbass knocks all the bolts out of your hand.

[A.J.]

If you read your enemy's book, you can defeat him in battle.

[A.J.]

Revenge is a dish best served cold.



Further: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few....or the one.

[Foster]

if you are studying history and get hit on the head, you will be transported back in time

[sailor]

you can knock out your friends (for their own good) with a sharp blow to the back of the head, with no long term consequences.

[epo]

If you are involved with undeground organizations, when you die your name will be changed to "Robert Paulson".

[Yosammity]

If you're ever going to lose your home, your business, etc., you can always challenge the evil landlord to some silly contest to with it back.

[SatCam]

If you're ever going to lose your home, your business, etc., you can always challenge the evil landlord to some silly contest to with it back.

or, take a look thru the classifieds as there is probably a competition you can enter where the prize money is exactly how much you need to raise to save your home/business

[Ritalin]

Lock the bathroom door when you jerk off.

That's right. I'm looking at you Phoebe Cates.

(and jerking off)

[Yosammity]

Lock the bathroom door when you jerk off.

That's right. I'm looking at you Phoebe Cates.

(and jerking off)

Unless you want to get caught. :wink:

[Aggie]

NEVER have an affair. It will not end well.

[RoseBlood]

NEVER have an affair. It will not end well.

Oh yeah.. and he's not leaving his wife for you.

[ChrisTheCop]

NEVER have an affair. It will not end well.

Oh yeah.. and he's not leaving his wife for you.

...let's stick with movie lessons ladies...

[Aggie]

...let's stick with movie lessons ladies...

There are A LOT of dirty cops.

[fezident]

Alien spaceships operate on Windows 95.

[Aggie]

If you train long enough, hard enough and work as a team you will win the competition.

[RoseBlood]

If you train long enough, hard enough and work as a team you will win the competition.

Yes, but only if it's done through a musical montage and a couple of sweaty high-fives are thrown around at the end before THE BIG DAY!

[ChrisTheCop]

If you hate someone as soon as you meet them,
you're gonna end up being best friends.

[ANC]

I learned that if I have to cook for 20 guys someday, I should start out with a little bit of oil. Then fry some garlic. Then throw in some tomatoes, tomato paste, and fry it; make sure it doesn't stick. I'll get it to a boil and shove in all the sausage and meatballs. And a little bit o' wine. An' a little bit o' sugar, and that's the trick.

[Denise Dean]

The lesson I have learned is that JuJu Bees stay fresh on the theatre floor for around 2 days. After that, you have to brush the dirt off before you can eat them.

[Coach]

Start dating the plain girl...they always end up hot...unless they have Telekenitic powers and an uber nutty mom.

[Furtherman]

You don't have to say goodbye to end a phone conversation.

[Dr.Girlfriend]

The villian never gets away with it and America always saves the world.

[Gmann]

Henchmen are the worst shots ever and can't fight for shit.

WHATS THE POINT OF HIRING THEM IF THEY CAN'T DO THE JOB??

[Aggie]

Southerners are dumb.

[Gmann]

Oh wait, my all time favorite.....


No matter what major metropolitan city you're in, no matter what time of day it is, no matter where you have to go, you will ALWAYS FIND PARKING RIGHT IN FRONT.

[STC-Dub]

That somehow the movie companies know the size of my TV screen.

[jab]

you can go to the bathroom at the beginning of your first summer school class and not come back and still pass.

[pennington]

Cars can go sailing through the air, hit the ground hard and continue with no damage. This seems to occur mostly in San Francisco and the South.

[Foster]

you can get the crap beat out of you by four guys with chains and crowbars,

but be ok a few hours later, with nothing more than a black eye.

[STC-Dub]

Cars that go off cliffs somehow always explode, often before hitting the ground.

[epo]

Don't mess with Mr. Majestyk when he takes his watermelons to the market.

[hedges]

When dating a girl, you go to the car, you unlock her passenger-side door and let her in. If she unlocks your door for you before you get to it, she's a keeper.

[jennysmurf]

When dating a girl, you go to the car, you unlock her passenger-side door and let her in. If she unlocks your door for you before you get to it, she's a keeper.

Yeah, but how are you gonna tell now that they have those automatic unlocking thingys on your keys?

[TooLowBrow]

Yeah, but how are you gonna tell now that they have those automatic unlocking thingys on your keys?

you lock her in the trunk and watch to see if she can open the back seat and then unlock the front (driver side) door

[jennysmurf]

you lock her in the trunk and watch to see if she can open the back seat and then unlock the front (driver side) door

I could do that, but I'm not sure I would after you locked me in the trunk. I like to play hard to get.

[TooLowBrow]

I like to play hard to get.

me too

after i locked the trunk id run and hide in an alley a few blocks away, giggling


im the worst date ever

[hedges]

I could do that, but I'm not sure I would after you locked me in the trunk. I like to play hard to get.
:laugh:

[PapaBear]

The human head weights 8 pounds.

[jennysmurf]

me too

after i locked the trunk id run and hide in an alley a few blocks away, giggling


im the worst date ever

:laugh: Okay, that one made me laugh out loud--you win.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I learned to not post as much on ron and fez dot net from the movie Ikiru

[pennington]

If you're going to kill a bride on her wedding day, you better make damn sure she's dead.

[TooLowBrow]

If you're going to kill a bride on her wedding day, you better make damn sure she's dead.

not the wedding, just the wedding rehearsal

[fezident]

Papabear. Your sigpic freaks me the fuck out.

[jennysmurf]

Papabear. Your sigpic freaks me the fuck out.

X2!:blink: