How can I be more funny?

[Aggie]

Cuz I'm not. I might have a good line every once in awhile but that's it. Can I learn or is to late for this 30 year old?

[A.J.]

Smoke more weed.

[hammersavage]

Just make fun on Hippos and be more sarcastic. That's what people do around here.

[Friday]

according to Ron Bennington, you can't.

[ChrisTheCop]

Never too old for a sex change.

[hammersavage]

In all seriousness, its very hard for a woman to be perceived as funny. They have to walk a line between femininity and humor without being too blue. It's a shitty double standard but it exists.

Without kissing ass, I think this place actually has some funny women in the mix which is a nice bonus. If you just had vagina's it would be good enough.


For these creeps I mean.

[britneypablo]

<font color="deeppink"> your married and these men still hang on to ur every word....do u see how exactly sexy that makes you? u dont need to worry about being funny...ur too hott for that nonsense...
(i think ur funny though anyways)

[Thebazile78]

Cuz I'm not. I might have a good line every once in awhile but that's it. Can I learn or is to late for this 30 year old?

(1) Don't try too hard.

(2) Remember the "yes, and..." principle. (Entire comedy routines have been built around this concept. It's not just about one-upmanship, but about rolling with someone else's line. I am sure most of the comedy around here comes from the "yes, and ... " principle.)

(3) Don't lie or make stuff up because you think it'll be funny. Truth may be stranger than fiction, but that's also comedy gold.

And, just remember, not everyone's meant to be funny. That's OK. It takes all kinds to make a world.

(Oh, and everything I learned about comedy comes from the book Truth in Comedy (http://www.amazon.com/Truth-Comedy-Improvisation-Charna-Halpern/dp/1566080037/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240506577&sr=8-1) by Kim "Howard" Johnson, who also wrote a book about the Monty Pythons, Del Close and Charna Halpern.)

[ChrisTheCop]

(1) Don't try too hard.

(2) Remember the "yes, and..." principle. (Entire comedy routines have been built around this concept. It's not just about one-upmanship, but about rolling with someone else's line. I am sure most of the comedy around here comes from the "yes, and ... " principle.)

(3) Don't lie or make stuff up because you think it'll be funny. Truth may be stranger than fiction, but that's also comedy gold.

And, just remember, not everyone's meant to be funny. That's OK. It takes all kinds to make a world.

(Oh, and everything I learned about comedy comes from the book Truth in Comedy (http://www.amazon.com/Truth-Comedy-Improvisation-Charna-Halpern/dp/1566080037/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240506577&sr=8-1) by Kim "Howard" Johnson, who also wrote a book about the Monty Pythons, Del Close and Charna Halpern.)

See what I mean? Yikes.

[underdog]

Aren't you a girl? Girls can't be funny, silly.

[Snoogans]

here is a tip. Dont read books on how to be funny. That shit doesnt matter. To a point you are either funny or you arent. The best way I've found for people to get funnier is to hang out with a lot of funny people. It starts to get your brain into training itself to think quicker and funnier. you cant just do it, you have to make yourself get into a mindset where those lines just pop into your head

[Aggie]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

[hammersavage]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

He already is.


You want to be Marc with a C with a c.

[led37zep]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

Copy and paste his old posts.

[sailor]

according to Ron Bennington, you can't.

or be a doctor.

[ChrisTheCop]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

redundant with a T.

[underdog]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

Who doesn't?

[Marc with a c]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

it's pretty easy. just type "you are" or "you're the one" whenever anybody calls you a name.

[hammersavage]

Jokes are generally told in 3's.

Humor is funniest in a 3 part structure, then 6, then 12. I don't know why.

[Snoogans]

it's pretty easy. just type "you are" or "you're the one" whenever anybody calls you a name.

i know you are but what am I?


Im rubber your glue

[Marc with a c]

redundant with a T.

you're redundant with a T.

[hammersavage]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

You wouldn't even need a haircut.

[ToiletCrusher]

you're the one whenever anybody calls you a name calls it back.

[Aggie]

Smoke more weed.

I think that hurt more than it helped. My brain can't keep up!

The best way I've found for people to get funnier is to hang out with a lot of funny people. It starts to get your brain into training itself to think quicker and funnier. you cant just do it, you have to make yourself get into a mindset where those lines just pop into your head

I noticed when I took my hiatus from the board a few years back I got really unfunny, worse than ever. You guys actually sharpen me a little bit. Now I need more friends in real life with a good sense of humor.

[Marc with a c]

you'd get so much dick if you were a girl me.

[ChrisTheCop]

you're redundant with a T.

See? FUNNY! Now, if a (real) girl had said that, I'd be mad. Or embarrassed.
But it was a guy, so it's funny. See how that works?

[Marc with a c]

you're the one whenever anybody calls you a name calls it back.

no. you're the one.

[ToiletCrusher]

no. you're the one.

I just got served.

[hammersavage]

Just start personally attacking people. No mods care anymore.

[sailor]

you'd get so much dick if you were a girl me.

she'd get so much dick if she was a boy you.

[ToiletCrusher]

Just start personally attacking people. No mods care anymore.

You are a no talent ass clown..

How was that?

[hammersavage]

You are a no talent ass clown..

How was that?

More personal and you're onto something.

Something about my mother perhaps?

[Aggie]

See, I want to join in but can't think of anything witty! I'm starting to resent funny boys.

[hammersavage]

My mother's a douche.




There. Personal attack=funny.

[ToiletCrusher]

My mother's a douche.




There. Personal attack=funny.

I think I am going to take your approach and Marc's

You're mother's a douche. A redundant douche. Better?

[Aggie]

you'd get so much dick if you were a girl me.

she'd get so much dick if she was a boy you.

See, that's why I love Marc. He totally set up a joke for the next poster. Such foresight.

[Aggie]

I think I am going to take your approach and Marc's

You're mother's a douche. A redundant douche. Better?

You're the redundant douche.

[hammersavage]

You're the redundant douche.

Yes!!!

[~Katja~]

Now I need more friends in real life with a good sense of humor.
that's tough, why do you think I hang out here that much

you'd get so much dick if you were a girl me.

Aggie does not want young boy dick. No chick does.

[hammersavage]

This is just like My Fair Lady.

[ToiletCrusher]

You're the redundant douche.

Yes!!!

You're on the right track.

[Aggie]

This is just like My Fair Lady.

You make musical references, you must be GAY!

[ToiletCrusher]

You make musical references, you must be GAY!

Keep it up!

[hammersavage]

You make musical references, you must be GAY!

She's right! I must be!


STEP UP!!!

[Thebazile78]

See what I mean? Yikes.

I used to like you.

Now I'm not so sure.

[ToiletCrusher]

Keep it up!

Here is an opportunity for a personal attack that you missed.

You could have quoted me and said:

"cause you can't?"

[sailor]

Keep it up!

'cause you can't?

[ToiletCrusher]

'cause you can't?

Served again I was.

[underdog]

You make musical references, you must be GAY!

You're only now realizing this?

[Snoogans]

he is a virgin. He may still be gay, but definately a virgin

[BinaryTaoist]

Eat more cauliflower... everyone knows that makes you funnier

[Aggie]

Here is an opportunity for a personal attack that you missed.

You could have quoted me and said:

"cause you can't?"

Dammit. I'll learn one day.

[burrben]

puns

[Aggie]

puns

Oh burrben, quit trying to get under my skin. But Marc still killed me in that thread, he's my idol.

http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=79515

[Tenbatsuzen]

I want to be a girl Marc with a c.

Then I get to slap your ass too? Man, I knew it would pay off.

[Aggie]

Then I get to slap your ass too? Man, I knew it would pay off.

As long as you don't mind a pair of black fists raining down on you, go for it!

[Tenbatsuzen]

As long as you don't mind a pair of black fists raining down on you, go for it!

Like this guy?

http://singaporesportsfan.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/black-power-salute.jpg

[underdog]

As long as you don't mind a pair of black fists raining down on you, go for it!

He usually has to pay for that.

[burrben]

Like this guy?

http://singaporesportsfan.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/black-power-salute.jpg

wow that guy on the left must feel super uncomfortable

[Snoogans]

Like this guy?

http://singaporesportsfan.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/black-power-salute.jpg

hmmm, more like this guy:

http://static.boxrec.com/wiki/8/81/95Oct.jpg

[Death Metal Moe]

Just buy some fake dog doo doo. If you want to make someone laugh, drop it on the ground.

http://www.fakecrap.com/images/jokes/dog_doo_hard.jpg

See? You all know you couldn't help laughing at that.

[Aggie]

wow that guy on the left must feel super uncomfortable

No, you're super uncomfortable. OK, that may not work here.

[Tenbatsuzen]

No, you're super uncomfortable. .

Like the backseat of a volkswagen?

[ANC]

....hire a team of Jewish writers.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

be more clever than Sailor

[Snoogans]

Like the backseat of a volkswagen?

talk about tryin too hard

[Death Metal Moe]

How can I be more funny?


http://johngushue.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/24/angry_homer_simpson.jpg

BE! MORE! FUNNY!

[Contra]

I've found hating everyone helps.

[Gvac]

Get a time machine.

Guys will laugh at anything a 22 year old chick says.

A thirty something?

Not so much.

[ANC]

Get a time machine.

Guys will laugh at anything a 22 year old chick says.

A thirty something?

Not so much.

:lol:

[Misteriosa]

Get a time machine.

Guys will laugh at anything a 22 year old chick says.

A thirty something?

Not so much.

damn....

[Aggie]

Get a time machine.

Guys will laugh at anything a 22 year old chick says.

A thirty something?

Not so much.

Oh yeah? YOU get a time machine.

[ANC]

Oh yeah? YOU get a time machine.

:lol:

It's working on me doll!!!

[hammersavage]

damn....

I'll continue to pretend to laugh at things you say well into your 30's.

[ANC]

I'll continue to pretend to laugh at things you say well into your 30's.

Careful.... she'll Capoeira you're ass like that dude in "Only The Strong"

:wink:

[EliSnow]

Get a time machine.

Guys will laugh at anything a 22 year old chick says.

A thirty something?

Not so much.

How would a time machine help?

A 35 year old chick gets into that machine and goes back in time 10 years, she's still 35 years old. Everyone else in the past is 10 years younger, but she isn't.

[Aggie]

:lol:

It's working on me doll!!!

Then that's the only thing working on ya, have you looked in a mirror lately?

[Crossweird]

How would a time machine help?

A 35 year old chick gets into that machine and goes back in time 10 years, she's still 35 years old. Everyone else in the past is 10 years younger, but she isn't.


It would help a little to go forward ten years.

[hammersavage]

Then that's the only thing working on ya, have you looked in a mirror lately?

That's the spirit.

[underdog]

It would help a little to go forward ten years.

Nope, she'd still be 35.

[EliSnow]

It would help a little to go forward ten years.

Nah, Gvac's theory is that guys don't laugh at 30 year olds. He didn't put an age limit on the guys.

[Crossweird]

Nah, Gvac's theory is that guys don't laugh at 30 year olds. He didn't put an age limit on the guys.

Hmm. Maybe Gvac needs a corollary to his theory.

[nixonfingers]

Cuz I'm not. I might have a good line every once in awhile but that's it. Can I learn or is to late for this 30 year old?

But bologna in your shoes so you feel funny. :smile:

(Bonus points: Who did I steal that line from?)

[Crossweird]

But bologna in your shoes so you feel funny. :smile:

(Bonus points: Who did I steal that line from?)

My grandpa. Did he show you "I got your nose"?

[Death Metal Moe]

You could be some of the O&A fans and just parrot Norton lines back and forth to each other like it's funny.

[hammersavage]

You could be some of the O&A fans and just parrot Norton lines back and forth to each other like it's funny.

Oh, go get AIDS.

[Aggie]

But bologna in your shoes so you feel funny. :smile:

(Bonus points: Who did I steal that line from?)

I'll give you bonus points. :shakes fist:

Steve Martin. Thank you Google. You must be Gvac's age, that's before my time.

[Aggie]

You could be some of the O&A fans and just parrot Norton lines back and forth to each other like it's funny.

You stink and I don't like you.

[hammersavage]

You meaty breasted nothing.

[Death Metal Moe]

Oh, go get AIDS.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMONE!!!! INSERT A GAY JOKE HERE!!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMONE!!!! IT WAS HARDLY FUNNY BEFORE NORTON STOPPED DOING IT, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK LISTENERS DOING IT FOR MONTHS WOULD WORK?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMONE!!!! CUNT SHITDICK TRANNY FAGGOT AIDS TAINT AND THEN A POP CULTURE REFERENCE!!!!

[nixonfingers]

My grandpa. Did he show you "I got your nose"?

No he showed me how to teabag your grandma. Sawrry.

[nixonfingers]

I'll give you bonus points. :shakes fist:

Steve Martin. Thank you Google. You must be Gvac's age, that's before my time.

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. 10,000 bonus points for you. And yes, I'm that old. :thumbup:

[Anthony Sodomy]

Girls aren't funny.

[Gvac]

Oh yeah? YOU get a time machine.

Wow.

You really are turning into a female Marc with a c.

Wait.

That's redundant.

[hammersavage]

Girls aren't funny.

Ispy says you said something else.

I'm gonna call you Tony Buttfuck for short.

[Aggie]

Wow.

You really are turning into a female Marc with a c.

Wait.

That's redundant.

Redundant with a T.

[BlackSpider]

1. Use the search function to find all posts by BlackSpider.
2. Study them...

[hammersavage]

1. Use the search function to find all posts by BlackSpider.
2. Study them...

You meant to post that in the 'How can I be more creepy?' thread.

[underdog]

1. Use the search function to find all posts by BlackSpider.
2. Study them...

3. Do the opposite.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Tell me more about this time machine...

[ToiletCrusher]

Wow.

You really are turning into a female Marc with a c.

Wait.

That's redundant.

Is it? Or, is it the most truthful thing that has ever been said?

Many of the things I post are when I am drunk. So, I apologize.

[Aggie]

I'm funnier than I was when I woke up this morning.

[hammersavage]

I'm funnier than I was when I woke up this morning.

Exactly what someone who isn't funny would say.


edit-You really have hot enough eyes to rock the shit out of a burqa.

[razorboy]

I'm funnier than I was when I woke up this morning.

Older too.

[Aggie]

Older too.

ZING!

[Marc with a c]

I'm funnier than I was when I woke up this morning.

never go to sleep again.

[Aggie]

never go to sleep again.

You're the one who should never go to sleep again!

[Marc with a c]

nice. i laughed.

[Aggie]

nice. i laughed.

Yes! I should sign out and go out on top.

[hammersavage]

If that's the position you prefer.

[Gvac]

Yes! I should sign out and go out on top.

Promises promises...

[underdog]

Yes! I should sign out and go out on top.

Too late.

[RoseBlood]

Exactly what someone who isn't funny would say.


edit-You really have hot enough eyes to rock the shit out of a burqa.

It's a good look Aggie!

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4842

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4841

btw.. how is savage banned yet "online"? :unsure:

[Aggie]

It's a good look Aggie!

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4842

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=4841

btw.. how is savage banned yet "online"? :unsure:

I think he wants to be "clever" and has that image as an avatar. Fake badass.

PS You look hot in everything!

[Clint Eastwood]

I think he wants to be "clever" and has that image as an avatar. Fake badass.

PS You look hot in everything!

Nothing fake about it, toots!

[JerseyRich]

I think he wants to be "clever" and has that image as an avatar. Fake badass.

PS You look hot in everything!


Get a room!


















































and leave the door unlocked. :wub:

[Aggie]

Get a room!


and leave the door unlocked. :wub:

No, YOU get a room.











































And drill your own peep hole.

[ANC]

No, YOU get a room.











































And drill your own glory hole.

would've been funnier.......just sayin'

[~Katja~]

Get a room!







and leave the door unlocked. :wub:

why, is aggie hosting Wilco this weekend?

[Aggie]

would've been funnier.......just sayin'

You're so right. I guess boys are funnier.

[RhinoinMN]

Is this the post like Dave thread?

[ANC]

You're so right. I guess boys are funnier.

have you seen some of my bombs? Yikes! Some were real big wiffahs :thumbdown:

[RhinoinMN]

have you seen some of my bombs? Yikes! Some were real big wiffahs :thumbdown:

Your bombs are funny though.

FWIW

95 percent of my posts are unfunny and non-topical. the other 5 are me talking about me.

Your aces. don't worry about it.

[Ocho Cinco]

Get a time machine.

Guys will laugh at anything a 22 year old chick says.

A thirty something?

Not so much.

haha gvac is the only one who gets it

[ToiletCrusher]

Get a foam finger with the slogan "#1 fan of boobs" on it.