Chuck Norris is____

[sr71blackbird]

What are all the things that Chuck Norris is capable of...

[mikeyboy]

What are all the things that Chuck Norris is capable of...

Seriously? Welcome to three years ago.

[Marc with a c]

driving a car.

[Devo37]

<strike>Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris has never cried.</strike>

never mind.

what Mikeyboy said, ftw.

[hammersavage]

Mikeyboy counted to infinity - twice.

[epo]

Chuck Norris gives great head. Chuck Norris could suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch.

[Death Metal Moe]

I fucking hate Chuck Norris jokes, mostly because of that stupid World of Warcraft game. The jackoffs in the different chat channels just end up typing out EVERY Chuck Norris joke if someone brings him up.

Like the game isn't lame enough.

[Contra]

And you are in WoW chatrooms because...?

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is financially well-to-do.

[EliSnow]

Chuck Norris is batshit crazy.

Oops, already a thread. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=78240&highlight=chuck+Norris)

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is probably a republican.

[Marc with a c]

a proud owner of a beard trimmer.

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is taller than Abe Vigoda.

[Marc with a c]

probably unaware of the ratio of shirts he owns leans heavily in the favor of sleeveless.

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is a former member of the Cub Scouts, having risen to the rank of Webelo.

[TonyStark]

Chuck Norris is taller than Abe Vigoda.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtGjGQuVvrk

Abe Vigoda is Conan O'Brien

[EliSnow]

Chuck Norris isn't fooling anyone with that hairpiece.

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is often seen antiquing on Sunday mornings.

[epo]

Chuck Norris is an active scrapbooker.

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is an anagram for "shrink occur."

[TheMojoPin]

...the host of a delightful high tea.

[ADF]

...able to discern subtle variations in high-gloss varnish.

[EliSnow]

.... loves a good early bird special.

[Marc with a c]

ashamed of his christian name.

[ADF]

...honest about his predisposition to use too much glitter on his arts and crafts projects.

[realmenhatelife]

I fucking hate Chuck Norris jokes, mostly because of that stupid World of Warcraft game. The jackoffs in the different chat channels just end up typing out EVERY Chuck Norris joke if someone brings him up.

Like the game isn't lame enough.


Your first mistake is being in any of the chat channels to begin with.

While Chuck Norris is very old hat people are always very willing to jump into it, so it must still have some heat.

[TheMojoPin]

...unsure about the path that his life has taken him on.

[ADF]

...a cranky-puss when he doesn't get his fix of Metamucil.

[TheMojoPin]

...a man at war with himself.

[epo]

....is using his new Bedazzler on everything in sight.

[ADF]

...chock full of nuts.

[EliSnow]

... loves his church's bi-annual pancake breakfast.

[epo]

...is currently sweatin' to the oldies.

[TheMojoPin]

...alive with the sound of music.

[ADF]

...pretty sure he left his car keys next to his alarm clock.

[RhinoinMN]

..is a rising member of ronfez.net

[epo]

...thinks his new shoes are FABULOUS!

[disneyspy]

...a friend of dorothys

[mikeyboy]

...is wearing his laundry day underpants.

[EliSnow]

... can keep track of 6 bingo cards at the same time.

[ADF]

...going to put that stereo he saw at Wal-Mart on layaway.

[mikeyboy]

...owns one of those animatronic flowers wearing sunglasses that dance when you play music.

[EliSnow]

... likes to watch the news while flossing his teeth.

[Hottub]

not nearly as charismatic as Chuck Floyd. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=41903&highlight=floyd)

[EliSnow]

... likes pina coladas, but doesn't like getting caught in the rain.

[Marc with a c]

still thinks it's butter.

[EliSnow]

... chuckles whenever he sees a "If this van's a rockin', don't come a knockin" bumper sticker.

[hammersavage]

....gave up on pantsss

[ADF]

Chuck Norris is gave up on pantsss?

...a grammar nazi.

[EliSnow]

Chuck Norris is mystified as to why bad things happen to good people.