McGruff the Crime Victim

[Judge Smails]

I don't care if anyone one else finds this funny but I'm laughing my ass off and, goddammit, I'm starting a thread about it. Maybe it's because McGruff has always been near and dear to my heart. I was in the fifth grade when he was first introduced and I participated in a national contest to name him. I still remember my entry: Doglumbo. (Hey, they can't all be gems.)

I love that this was completely unprovoked and happened right in front of shocked kids.


Bus Driver Collared After Crime Dog Socked on Corner (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/03/AR2009030303248.html)


D.C. police said a Metro bus driver was charged with assault Saturday after a bizarre incident in which he allegedly punched a patrol officer who was dressed as McGruff the

Crime Dog, the popular mascot who educates children about crime prevention.

The driver, Shawn Brim, 39, got out of the bus he was driving at Spring Road and 14th Street NW early Saturday afternoon and punched Officer Tyrone Hardy in the head, police said.

Hardy was wearing his McGruff costume head at the time.

The incident, first reported yesterday by the Washington Examiner, occurred in front of a group of children. Police said Brim was charged with simple assault.




A Metrobus supervisor who went to the scene was told by Brim that he punched the big, droopy-eared crime dog "to be funny," Smith said.

[GreatAmericanZero]

its a funny story, but whoever wrote the headline for the article should be shot

[weekapaugjz]

i bet doglumbo could kick the shit out of mcgruff.

[midwestjeff]

Punching a guy in an animal costume is always funny.

Always.

[TheMojoPin]

This sounds like a case for Barkaby Jones.

Yeah, EAT IT, 5th grade Smails. You suck.

[PapaBear]

I think I saw this on an episode of the Dogford Files.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Droolchek's on the spooky case now!

[TheMojoPin]

Maybe they can team up with Collarumbo.

SEE HOW IT'S DONE, SMAILS?!?

[Judge Smails]

This sounds like a case for Barkaby Jones.

Yeah, EAT IT, 5th grade Smails. You suck.

Might I point out that the fucking thing was sooooo obviously ripped off from Columbo that my entry was the only logical choice and the only reason they didn't go with it is that the crooks were trying to avoid an intellectual property lawsuit.

http://bittenandbound.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/peter-falk-as-detective-columbo.jpghttp://saliaquinto.com/2007/01/04/McGruff.JPG

[TheMojoPin]

Or they realized that "Collarumbo" was much better.

[Judge Smails]

Or they realized that "Collarumbo" was much better.

He's anthropomorphic! He doesn't wear a fucking collar! You can't do a play on words if the item you're playing off of is not present. Even 5th grade Smails knew that. However, he is a dog - ergo: Doglumbo. Good day to you, sir!

[drusilla]

i just need to say that every single post in this thread above mine is a gem

[TheMojoPin]

He's anthropomorphic! He doesn't wear a fucking collar! You can't do a play on words if the item you're playing off of is not present. Even 5th grade Smails knew that. However, he is a dog - ergo: Doglumbo. Good day to you, sir!

Sir, in most civilized areas dogs are required by law to wear tags when out and about. These tags are attached to collars so that the dogs will not easily lose them. Do you truly think that McGruff / Collarumbo would so flagrantly break the law?!? I THINK NOT.

[lleeder]

its a funny story, but whoever wrote the headline for the article should be shot

I agree I would have written "Man In Cosh-tuuuume Gets Hit"

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I think I saw Collarumbo humping PoliceBitch over by Hydrant 54

[Judge Smails]

Sir, in most civilized areas dogs are required by law to wear tags when out and about. These tags are attached to collars so that the dogs will not easily lose them. Do you truly think that McGruff / Collarumbo would so flagrantly break the law?!? I THINK NOT.

He is most definitely not a "dog" in the according to Hoyle sense. I will reiterate that he is an anthropomorphic respresentation of a canine and as such exhibits purely human traits and characteristics. You will not find an image of him wearing a collar (unless you are privy to personal sado-masochistic behavior that we are not aware of).

For more information along these lines you may wish to enquire about the anthropomorphic differences between Goofy and Pluto in regards to collar wearing. I hope that I have in some way enlightened you as to the behavior of the little understood two-legged, clothes wearing, talking dog community.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

He is most definitely not a "dog" in the according to Hoyle sense. I will reiterate that he is an anthropomorphic respresentation of a canine and as such exhibits purely human traits and characteristics. You will not find an image of him wearing a collar (unless you are privy to personal sado-masochistic behavior that we are not aware of).

For more information along these lines you may wish to enquire about the anthropomorphic differences between Goofy and Pluto in regards to collar wearing. I hope that I have in some way enlightened you as to the behavior of the little understood two-legged, clothes wearing, talking dog community.

No he just jerks off to werewolves, not giant dog cops.

[TheMojoPin]

He is most definitely not a "dog" in the according to Hoyle sense. I will reiterate that he is an anthropomorphic respresentation of a canine and as such exhibits purely human traits and characteristics. You will not find an image of him wearing a collar (unless you are privy to personal sado-masochistic behavior that we are not aware of).

For more information along these lines you may wish to enquire about the anthropomorphic differences between Goofy and Pluto in regards to collar wearing. I hope that I have in some way enlightened you as to the behavior of the little understood two-legged, clothes wearing, talking dog community.

Collarumbo wishes to always lead by example. How dare you compare his noble and never-ending quest for law and order in THE REAL WORLD to the antics of silly cartoon dogs.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I'd make a Scooby Doo pun name, but he was already a dog to begin with. NEXT!

[PapaBear]

I think I saw this on an episode of the Dogford Files.
Oops! Correction.... It was on McGrowlin' & Wife. My bad.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Oops! Correction.... It was on McGrowlin' & Wife. My bad.

You must've been thinking about that one for a few minutes. Barkocop is gonna clean up detroit in the 80's!

[TheMojoPin]

You must've been thinking about that one for a few minutes. Barkocop is gonna clean up detroit in the 80's!

Don't you mean ROVERCOP?

[PapaBear]

You must've been thinking about that one for a few minutes. Barkocop is gonna clean up detroit in the 80's!
I had to poop.

[Judge Smails]

Collarumbo wishes to always lead by example. How dare you compare his noble and never-ending quest for law and order in THE REAL WORLD to the antics of silly cartoon dogs.

I'm right, you're wrong. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!



Oh, and he probably got what was coming to him:


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[CofyCrakCocaine]

Don't you mean ROVERCOP?

Fuck!

Humper was a good show around that time too.

[TheMojoPin]

Hopefully that was 5th grade Smails getting his payback for being so awful.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I'm right, you're wrong. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!



Oh, and he probably got what was coming to him:


http://<OBJECT height=344 width=425>


<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DzLyqAJIVbA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></OBJECT> (http://<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DzLyqAJIVbA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DzLyqAJIVbA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>)</P>

I think that nasty old Pooch wasn't wearing anything under that trench coat. And who knew anthropomorphosized crime-fighting detective dogs were such pasty skinned child-mowing creeps?

[PapaBear]

Cagney and Lacey.




See what I did there? They're both dogs.

right thread this time

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I wanted to make a vague and really thin Civil War joke calling Papa Rover E. Lee, but Rovercop shot that shit down. Plus it really made no sense. Thought I'd share that part of the creative process.

And nothing rhymes with Riggs and Murtaugh. Nothing.

[PapaBear]

I hear the guy who punched McGruff hired Muttlock.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I hear the guy who punched McGruff hired Muttlock.

A-Woooooooo

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Doglumbo still sucks.

[Fatwreck86]

When Mascots get hurt it's hysterical.