being a parent is friggin tough

[Caseyelan]

Today I felt a little guilty. I just didn't have the mind to deal with my kid. She kept looking at me all day with these "PLAY WITH ME" eyes.
I felt horrible cause I just couldn't. I couldn't read to her, I couldn't play with the blocks. I had no interest in playing with her stuffed animals or her teething toys.
I just didn't want to play today.
I wanted to stay in bed and watch tv quietly.
So I put her in front of noggin and said "HAVE AT IT BABY!"

Now I feel horrible.... She's 8 months and this is honestly the first time I felt like a bad mom.

Maybe it's the hormones of #2. But I am scared that I am going to regret not taking every second of this time with her alone.



Wheres my coffee ice cream?

[kdubya]

I have a 22 month old and we have another on the way. My wife is having the same feelings. Hormones, feeling of how she will handle two little ones.
I keep telling her it's fine to be nervous and overwhelmed, its a lot to deal with after-all.

Also there is nothing wrong with needing a day off, thats what daddy and grandmas are for, to give mommy a break.

[GreatAmericanZero]

if its any consolation, your one moment of bad parenting was the standard parenting i was raised with. your one moment was 18 years for me

and with Coffee Ice Cream, anyone remember the Ben & Jerry's flavor "From Russia with Buzz"? it was the best coffee ice cream ever

[IMSlacker]

It's not a big deal. Don't beat yourself too much. There's a lot of good stuff on Noggin.

[Gvac]

I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to take care of an 8 month old all day while carrying another child.

I'm willing to bet good money you're a great mom, Casey. No one has an unlimited supply of energy and patience, particularly not a pregnant woman.

Hang in there. You're doing a phenomenal job.

[drjoek]

I know its no consolation but it never gets easy. Parenting is the hardest job there is in my opinion and there are no right answers. And there is no way to know if you are doing things right. Don't sweat it it will only make you feel worse and Julianna does have all her Liza memories to fall back on.

[MisterSmith]

EVERY parent has days like that, and it doesn't make you a bad parent - in fact, I would say worrying about it so much makes you a GOOD parent.

I was a stay-at-home Dad for my daughter's first year. It is tremendously tough to remain completely focused day after day, especially since kids are so demanding. Your daughter did just fine watching Noggin and tomorrow is another day to play.

Don't worry - by all accounts you are doing a great job. Have faith in yourself. :thumbup:

[paulisded]

You're obviously fixated on one moment of the day, as I saw you playing with Juliana during the show. You were both on the couch, and she was clearly having the time of her life.

It's only natural to have these moments of self-doubt, but you are clearly a wonderful mother who is destined to have an amazing relationship with both children.

[~Katja~]

don't feel bad! Nobody said parenting was easy and every mother hits a day where she worries or wonders if she could have done better.
I give you all the credit in the world for being home with Julianna, I know I could not do that for Lukas.
I would hit days like you hit today more often than not.
It does not make you a bad mother at all! Especially being pregnant you feel tired and exhausted and you are told to take good care of yourself when in reality you can't because you have a child to look after.
As Julianna gets older there will be more and more moments where you will wonder if you could have done more for her or reacted differently to the 20th tantrum of the day... you will worry if you spend time with both kids equally... but ultimately you do what is best for her and her soon to be brother while not entirely losing sight of who you are and what your needs are! You have family, friends and a husband around; take advantage of that! Don't ever feel guilty for it! You are not abandoning your child but rather granting her a pleasant day away from you where you might have just over reacted or gotten annoyed otherwise. And a lazy day in bed... hey she might have enjoyed it just as much as you needed it snuggle time with mommy and all the tv she wants.

[Farmer Dave]

Wow, aren't we men really good for encouragement. And you freshly shaving one should be home soon right? Chin up, not like you dosed her with cold meds and put her in a play pen.

[ToiletCrusher]

A sign of a great parent is one who thinks they aren't doing the best job they can. It makes you a great person because you always want to do better. That is noble. You will pull through and your children will benefit from all of your hard work. Even the hardest working people get tired and need to rest even if just for a day.

[Swannee]

Don't feel bad, we have a nine month old and there are days where you cannot wait for them to go to sleep just so you can breathe again. But then the next day you may not be able to get enough of them. And bad moms do not worry if they are bad moms. You obviously are a good mom, if you feel guilty with one day of not meeting your own expectations of being a good mom.

[redbri]

My daughter has her Noggin favorites, one day I came home from work and she asked my if I could play a string dulcimer....I thought (NOT SAID) what the hell is a string dulcimer.....Thats when I realized that sometimes I am a limiting factor.....moral of the story is she is a sponge and even a little TV, when approved of by you, is not really a bad thing.
Hell I learned what a string dulcimer was, here is the dulcimer link for all you Andrew Bird fans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HmkLu24w2o

[boosterp]

A sign of a great parent is one who thinks they aren't doing the best job they can. It makes you a great person because you always want to do better. That is noble. You will pull through and your children will benefit from all of your hard work. Even the hardest working people get tired and need to rest even if just for a day.

Very nice and very true.

[Devo37]

geez, i don't know how you parents do it. i look after my nephew & niece for a few hours, and i've had enough.

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c395/Devo37/hang_in_there.jpg

i'm sure you and dave are both great parents.

[smiler grogan]

You are not a machine. You are a mother with an infant whose carrying a second, of course your body is going to need to recharge once and again. Noggin is perfectly appropriate for Jullianna its not like you put her in front of Saw 1 thru 87 and took a nap.

[ecobag2]

First time you did that Casey? I hope you enjoyed yourself. It's human to want time to yourself. Unless you're one of them.

You know.

The robots.

And I think no matter how much TV you plop your kid in front of ... no kid will watch more TV than I did as a kid. The thing is I was exposed to the right thinking about it and I realize it's place. She will too someday - esp with two freethinkers for parents.

[Sheila]

we all need our mental health days, i've been having a rough time lately and had to use TV for the kids this past week, (stomach virus, other icky stuff and 32wks pg) the good news is that they play with each other well, and you'll have that soon! You do your best, and you also need time to regenerate. Winters are tough too, lot of indoor time, I can't wait for spring..

[EliSnow]

My wife has these feelings all the time, especially when the three year old wants her to play with her, and our 10 month old wants her mom to be with her. She often tells me how she was a bad mother because she was short with the three year old or wasn't able to hold the 10 month old all day.

Being a good mother doesn't mean you have to be perfect and that your kids never cry or are sad. It means you try your best to do the best thing for the kids. And sometimes doing the best thing for your kids is taking care of yourself.

[Piuki]

The fact that this bothers you is proof that you're not a bad mother...though I do understand where you are coming from. I felt that way often when I was preggers with Brodie.

I'd like to tell you that it'll get easier, but actually it's probably going to be harder when Jr arrives. I feel torn all the time, especially when they both decide they're hungry at the same time. I haven't figured out how to give Brodie a bottle and Lucy breakfast simultaneously! And sometimes, Mommy needs a little breakfast herself. That's when I feel most guilty. But, Mark always reminds me...on the airplane they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first, then help your child. Why? Because if you're incapacitated you aren't any help to anyone. That's how I try to look at the few moments of me time I sometimes take...if I am run ragged, I am not an effective parent.

And for what it's worth, at our house it's not Noggin, it's Sprout. Or Baby Einstein DVDs.

Feel better!

[topless_mike]

casey, my darling.

this is something that all parents go through. there is something that you should question about yourself if you DONT feel like this from time to time.

my wife is going through the same thing, except sean will be 4 in april. he knows that he'll have to help out when the baby comes in june, but we know he will be extra needy and want more of my wife's time, that of which she will not be able to devote. we know this will suck, but its temporary.

i have to admit it: since we've moved in on saturday, everynite so far has been a tv nite for sean, while lavi and i do what we can to unpack before he goes to sleep.

casey,
millions of other parents have all gone through this. im sure a large faction of this board have been those kids in front of the tv, and look how they turned out :glurps:

srsly.. there is nothing wrong with a tv day. mommy's work harder than anyone else in the world. even they need a break once in a while.

[DiabloSammich]

Wow, I was having this same exact dilemma last night, only my four year old is actually uttering the words "play this with me, dad" and I kept coming up with shitty excuses, and I felt like crap afterwards when he just ended up working on puzzles by himself in his room.

It hit me today riding around that one day I'm gonna want to do stuff with him and he won't want anything to do with me.

I hoping that works as motivation the next time.

[Caseyelan]

Wow, I was having this same exact dilemma last night, only my four year old is actually uttering the words "play this with me, dad" and I kept coming up with shitty excuses, and I felt like crap afterwards when he just ended up working on puzzles by himself in his room.

It hit me today riding around that one day I'm gonna want to do stuff with him and he won't want anything to do with me.

I hoping that works as motivation the next time.

cats in the cradle buddy.

[Tall_James]

My 5 year old is home sick from school today. It totally threw everything that I had planned to do for the day out the window but I could care less. I'm going to go now and bring him some juice and play MarioKart with him.

Nothing will get done in the house today and that is fine.

[DiabloSammich]

cats in the cradle buddy.



Goddamn you Harry Chapin!



GODDAMN YOU!!!!!