I'm Beginning To Lose Patience...

[Gvac]

...with my mother. For over a year now I've been asking her to see a doctor and have her hearing checked. Whenever she calls I have to repeat myself and yell into the phone for her to hear me. She insists there's nothing wrong with her hearing and that I "mumble."

Anyone who knows me knows that I speak rather loudly and clearly. I do not mumble.

She's just going fucking deaf.

It's frustrating, even when I visit and have dinner with my parents. Having to repeat yourself constantly is exhausting, especially when you have to shout the second time around.

I guess no one wants to admit they're getting old and may need a hearing aid, but maybe it's something that can be corrected. The fact that she won't even make an appointment to find out is mind boggling to me. Is ignoring a potential problem because you don't want to admit there may be one better than going deaf?

If I take a ride over there for Sunday dinner today I'm bringing a bullhorn.

Maybe then she'll get the hint.

[razorboy]

When you see her in person just move your lips without saying anything and look confused when she gets frustrated.

[RoseBlood]

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY??? SPEAK UP!!!


http://www.horshamyouthcouncil.org.uk/images/lady_megaphone.jpg

[JerseyRich]

I'm sure she won't mind using one of these...

http://www.goodsoundclub.com/Site_Images/EarHorn.jpg

[MHasegawa]

http://www.clumsycrooks.com/media/files9/mugshots/chris_tucker.jpg

[zildjian361]

G be grateful you still have her.:wub:

[Sinestro]

She may be going deaf or maybe also it's taking her brain longer to process information. Just like when people get older, their reflexes get slower. Old people don't move as fast or think as quickly as they used to. And sometimes as a result of this their frustration levels of tolerance escalate or they heed you no mind and tell you to repeat things over so that it gives their brain time to process. Gives you something to think about, don't you think.

[Gvac]

G be grateful you still have her.:wub:

Oh, I am. But do I have to drag her kicking and screaming to the doctor?

Who knows...maybe it's just an inner ear infection and could be treated with some drops.

I guess we'll never find out, though, as long as she insists there's nothing wrong.

[midwestjeff]

My Mom is a stubborn ass too.

If I told you what I had to force her to accept help with recently it would blow your mind.
I can't get into it here because it is too personal, but the point is I had to force her into
doing the rational thing. Not a health issue, just an everyday thing.

I find persistence is the key.
Just repeat the thing that needs done over and over and over
and eventually they should give in.

The bullhorn might actually be a good idea.

[TheMojoPin]

Yeah, this is frustrating.

My mom is the same way with a lot of her mdical issues that come up...it's like she thinks she doesn't have the time or that somehow taking the time and money to get things taken care of is some kind of burden. She has chronic neck and back problems from a car accident when she was a teeanger, but she doesn't get in for treatment and therapy anywhere near as often as she could and suffers through really awful pain and I can't figure out why. Recently she's had some painful issues with her foot which she could treat if she ordered some special shoes online. It's not like these things are hideous orthopedic monsters...they're normal looking shoes just specially designed on the bottom and inside for various foot conditions, but she still hasn't gotten them and there's no good reason why. I keep trying to get her to pick out design she likes so I can just buy her the damn things myself.

[instrument]

Does she have a comp?

Get her one if not, old folks love "the e-mail"

[Gvac]

Does she have a comp?

Get her one if not, old folks love "the e-mail"

Please. Worst mistake I ever made. I gave them one a few years back and the constant phone calls were draining.

Now my mom has become one of those people that forwards every stupid joke email to me.

"Did you get my email? Wasn't that hilarious!?"

"Yeah, mom...fantastic stuff. Keep 'em comin'."

[Sinestro]

I guess we reap what we sow. I can think about how many times my parents told me stuff to help me out but I was too stubborn to listen to them cause of my pride, being rebellious, didn't care or whatever. Now the cycle is in reverse.

Then:

Parent: C'mon and get dressed. You're going to the doctor for your annual check up.

child: I don't need to. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

Parent: It's for your own good. Now hurry up and get dressed.

Now:

Grown up child: C'mon mom/dad. Get yourself up and go to the doctor so they can check up on you.

Older parent: I don't need to. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

Grown up child: It's for your own good. The doctor can see if there's anything wrong or going on with you.

Older parent: I don't need to. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine. I'm doing okay. Are you taking your vitamins?

Grown up child: Stop changing the subject. You need to go the the doctor for a check-up.:furious:


It happened before and it will happen again.(BSG reference)

[sr71blackbird]

This is happening with my mom too. People from their generation view hearing loss as a sign of aging and eventual death, so they have this belief that if they ignore the signs of age, that they will never die. In truth, they are petrified of it so they avoid anything associated with its closeness as much as possible. I think thats why those tv ads with those hearing enhancers sell. Maybe look into that as a gift, and if she seems to appreciate it, the next logical step is to see about a "custom one", because while some people like those tv ones, they complain that some sounds are so loud that it hurts their ears.


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[Don Stugots]

take the marbles out of your mouth when you speak to hear. she brought you into this world and the least you can do is to not mumble.

[Friday]

When you see her in person just move your lips without saying anything and look confused when she gets frustrated.

brilliant idea! :clap:

[jennysmurf]

My Dad's got hearing loss from his job in a factory, but he won't get a hearing aid because he doesn't want people to notice it. So now when he complains he can't hear something or that we're leaving him out of conversations, I just tell him it's his own fault because he won't take care of it. Doesn't help the problem, but it shuts him up because he knows it's the truth.

[Friday]

My Dad's got hearing loss from his job in a factory, but he won't get a hearing aid because he doesn't want people to notice it. So now when he complains he can't hear something or that we're leaving him out of conversations, I just tell him it's his own fault because he won't take care of it. Doesn't help the problem, but it shuts him up because he knows it's the truth.

my bro in law is the same way... granted, he is only in his mid thirties so i don't blame him for being self conscious about it. but he is stubborn to even TRY one... and they really make them so small these days. It bugs the hell out of my sister ... and she tells him straight away as you do with your dad.

[jennysmurf]

my bro in law is the same way... granted, he is only in his mid thirties so i don't blame him for being self conscious about it. but he is stubborn to even TRY one... and they really make them so small these days. It bugs the hell out of my sister ... and she tells him straight away as you do with your dad.

I really don't understand it. He's not vain about anything else. Makes no sense, but what are you gonna do?

[Foster]

I really don't understand it. He's not vain about anything else. Makes no sense, but what are you gonna do?

it's proberly not vanity, just pride

[Gvac]

Well, against my better judgment I went over my parents' house for dinner. Turned out OK, though. I sat next to mom.

There was no "pass the meatballs, please."

"What?"

"COULD YOU PLEASE PASS THE MEATBALLS!?!?!"

followed by

"this is delicious"

"What?"

"THIS IS DELICIOUS!!!"


Sometimes I leave there feeling like I just went 12 rounds with Ali in his prime.

[RoseBlood]

Deaf people are fun, they botch up everything you say.

[sr71blackbird]

My father has other problems that he doesn't address, like having personality and anger issues and he drives my mom and us crazy with them. My mom gets frustrated and beaten down emotionally by it. We tell him he needs help, and his doctor knows and gave him anxiety medicine like zanex, but he refuses to take it because he doesn't want to admit to having mental issues. He views that stuff as a sign of weakness. He has a heart condition and refuses to eat right too.
Its all very frustrating to everybody.

[EffMeBoobs]

Deaf people are fun, they botch up everything you say.

Yeah my parents are a hoot. They like to put words in my mouth too.

[Death Metal Moe]

It's hard to tell people that have lived so long and put up with so much that they're not really cutting it anymore. But just as they didn't stop trying to make you do the right thing, you're not gonna stop trying to make them do the right thing.

It's kinda ironic how parents and children eventually switch rolls.

I don't know GVAC, I don't know what to tell you, but I do sympathize. You can't get elderly people to do anything, even when you have their best interests in mind.

[Death Metal Moe]

Please. Worst mistake I ever made. I gave them one a few years back and the constant phone calls were draining.

Now my mom has become one of those people that forwards every stupid joke email to me.

"Did you get my email? Wasn't that hilarious!?"

"Yeah, mom...fantastic stuff. Keep 'em comin'."

Lol, that can have mixed results. I build my grandma comps from older parts I grow out of or pick up here and there. For what she uses it for the comps I get for her are more than powerful enough. She has a DVD rom and CD burner that she has no idea how to use, and only I use the CD burner every year to back up her info.

But when you finally get them comfortable, it's a really easy way for them to get in contact with friends who may be homebound. Ride it out, it may help in the end.

[Marc with a c]

she sounds hot.

[britneypablo]

Oh, I am. But do I have to drag her kicking and screaming to the doctor?

Who knows...maybe it's just an inner ear infection and could be treated with some drops.

I guess we'll never find out, though, as long as she insists there's nothing wrong.

how much do u care? are u willin to give tuff love and trick her into it by makin an appointment for her and telling her ur takin her out to lunch but your making a stop first...
or are u just going to continue to complain but really take no real lovin action....
just sayin <3