Thank You Notes or Thank You Emails?

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I've been having this dilemma lately when it comes to thanking relatives and friends who do nice things for me or my family. I've fallen into the slump of just thanking them through email. Yet I feel like I've silently offended them by ceasing to send thank-you notes through snailmail. Everyone I question this on says "Oh, email is JUST FINE...just fine"... but I think they're bullshitting me.

So whaddya do versus what you think u should do? Send the notes or the email?

[FezsAssistant]

I just got a thank you note for a condolence card I sent. Is that normal?

[Aggie]

ALWAYS snail mail or hand delivered handwritten note. Email thank you's suck. I'm from the old school though where my mom wouldn't let me have my presents until I wrote them. It drilled it in me and I do it until this day. People always tell me how nice it is and how no one does it anymore.

I just got a thank you note for a condolence card I sent. Is that normal?

I've only had that happen once, not usually normal.

[IMSlacker]

Text 'em.

[GregoryJoseph]

If people are egomaniacal enough to believe they must receive a hand written letter or they aren't appreciated enough I think you're better off not having them in your life.

[Dude!]

If people are egomaniacal enough to believe they must receive a hand written letter or they aren't appreciated enough I think you're better off not having them in your life.

if people can't take the time to write a real note and put on a 42 cent stamp, then they are too lazy and self-centered to have in your life

[GregoryJoseph]

if people can't take the time to write a real note and put on a 42 cent stamp, then they are too lazy and self-centered to have in your life

Interesting way to look at it, but I can't even fathom the idea that I'm "owed" a thank you letter because I did something I wanted to.

If I buy you a gift, it's not because someone held a gun to my head. I did it because I felt like it was a nice thing to do. Why would I expect a hand written letter delivered by mail thanking me?

It's literally incomprehensible to me.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

If people are egomaniacal enough to believe they must receive a hand written letter or they aren't appreciated enough I think you're better off not having them in your life.

Meh, I don't think it's egomaniacal to appreciate a thank you letter.
expectations also vary between generations... i suppose if a 13 year old kid expects a handwritten letter from people he's a bit off since every other kid his age doesn't expect such things...

I was related to a real egomaniac... whenever you visited his place you were expected to do a performance to entertain his family that night... sometimes guests had to sing or play an instrument... others had to enact plays... or read poetry... so I guess a thank you note doesn't seem such a big deal to me. I think it's far more egomaniacal to ask a person to work tirelessly for you with no over-time pay and no guarantee that their salary won't be cut or fired the instant some higher up decides to cut the budget...

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Interesting way to look at it, but I can't even fathom the idea that I'm "owed" a thank you letter because I did something I wanted to.

If I buy you a gift, it's not because someone held a gun to my head. I did it because I felt like it was a nice thing to do. Why would I expect a hand written letter delivered by mail thanking me?

It's literally incomprehensible to me.

I think what you're mixing up here is when people want to display common courtesy and that courtesy is appreciated, and people who do good things expecting to be rewarded for said deeds.

[Friday]

my mom raised me to send thank you notes.
she was way better at it than I am... and I am grateful because I have the last one she sent to me saved in an album now.. it reminds me of the last christmas we had together.

and sending thank you notes is definitely not about ego ... it's about appreciation above and beyond just a "thank you" quickly spoken or typed out.
i don't think people really expect them so much these days... so imagine how nice it might be to bring a smile to a person's face by taking the time to write and send one....

just my $.02

[GregoryJoseph]

I think what you're mixing up here is when people want to display common courtesy and that courtesy is appreciated, and people who do good things expecting to be rewarded for said deeds.

You did display courtesy. You thanked them.

Why should you worry whether the thanks was perceived as proper enough?

[Caseyelan]

Ask Paul O and Melly.

personally, if i ever send you guys anything. Don't waste the stamp.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

You did display courtesy. You thanked them.

Why should you worry whether the thanks was perceived as proper enough?

I don't consider doing the same thing to someone who gave me a $50 dollar check as I would a lady holding open a door for me proper courtesy... i think there's differences in degree depending on what you're thanking for.

[Gvac]

imagine how nice it might be to bring a smile to a person's face by taking the time to write and send one....

Honestly? When I get one I glance at it, shake my head and think "what a waste of time and money" and throw it right in the garbage.

Absolute truth.

But again, I suppose everyone is different.

[epo]

I have no expectations of how others thank me. I however make a key part of my Friday agenda taking time to write hand-written thank you notes for people professionally or personally that I would like to recognize that week.

[Aggie]

You did display courtesy. You thanked them.

Why should you worry whether the thanks was perceived as proper enough?

So I assume you don't bring a bottle of wine or something when you get invited to a party or dinner at someone's house either? Your presence is just enough.

[GregoryJoseph]

I don't consider doing the same thing to someone who gave me a $50 dollar check as I would a lady holding open a door for me proper courtesy... i think there's differences in degree depending on what you're thanking for.

Funny, I don't.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Funny, I don't.

Lao Tzhu would agree with you ultimately.

But I'm no saint.

[JerseyRich]

...

[JerseyRich]

...

[JerseyRich]

So I assume you don't bring a bottle of wine or something when you get invited to a party or dinner at someone's house either? Your presence is just enough.

He brings great gifts. Like bottles of Whiskey. Which he then starts to drink.

[GregoryJoseph]

So I assume you don't bring a bottle of wine or something when you get invited to a party or dinner at someone's house either? Your presence is just enough.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I usually bring a bottle of wine and a box of pastries from the bakery. Then at the end of the night I thank the people who invited me into their home.

I don't write them a letter thanking them again a week later.

It doesn't make any sense.

[lleeder]

Nothing could be further from the truth. I usually bring a bottle of wine and a box of pastries from the bakery. Then at the end of the night I thank the people who invited me into their home.

I don't write them a letter thanking them again a week later.

It doesn't make any sense.

Any mini napolians?

[GregoryJoseph]

Any mini napolians?

Yes, along with mini cannolis and eclairs. Usually some cookies, too.

[Gvac]

I've been having this dilemma lately when it comes to thanking relatives and friends who do nice things for me or my family. I've fallen into the slump of just thanking them through email. Yet I feel like I've silently offended them by ceasing to send thank-you notes through snailmail. Everyone I question this on says "Oh, email is JUST FINE...just fine"... but I think they're bullshitting me.

So whaddya do versus what you think u should do? Send the notes or the email?

Meh, I don't think it's egomaniacal to appreciate a thank you letter.
expectations also vary between generations... i suppose if a 13 year old kid expects a handwritten letter from people he's a bit off since every other kid his age doesn't expect such things...

I was related to a real egomaniac... whenever you visited his place you were expected to do a performance to entertain his family that night... sometimes guests had to sing or play an instrument... others had to enact plays... or read poetry... so I guess a thank you note doesn't seem such a big deal to me. I think it's far more egomaniacal to ask a person to work tirelessly for you with no over-time pay and no guarantee that their salary won't be cut or fired the instant some higher up decides to cut the budget...

I think what you're mixing up here is when people want to display common courtesy and that courtesy is appreciated, and people who do good things expecting to be rewarded for said deeds.

I don't consider doing the same thing to someone who gave me a $50 dollar check as I would a lady holding open a door for me proper courtesy... i think there's differences in degree depending on what you're thanking for.

Didn't I recently tell you in another thread that you think too much?

[lleeder]

Yes, along with mini cannolis and eclairs. Usually some cookies, too.

What a classy man. Any of those rainbow cookies?

[GregoryJoseph]

What a classy man. Any of those rainbow cookies?

They are my all time favorites and are usually included.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Didn't I recently tell you in another thread that you think too much?

DAMN YOU FOR EXPOSING MY CRUTCHES!!!

fell asleep at 5am last night btw

[Gvac]

DAMN YOU FOR EXPOSING MY CRUTCHES!!!

fell asleep at 5am last night btw

But what do I know, right?

"Fuck Gvac...he's just a crazy old man."

Fine.

Be that way.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

But what do I know, right?

"Fuck Gvac...he's just a crazy old man."

Fine.

Be that way.

Are you psychic?

Incidentally, I like cheese with my seafood.

[Gvac]

Are you psychic?

Incidentally, I like cheese with my seafood.

Vile bastard.



P.S. - notice who urged the use of hand written thank you notes? CHICKS! Man up, GODDAMNIT!

[GreatAmericanZero]

i despise every aspect of a "thank you note". I hated it when my mom made me write them for relatives that gave me ten bucks...i dont care to receive them. just a waste of effort or energy.

A "thank you email" is fine. a "thank you text message" is fine. a "thank you instant message" is fine...or no thank you at all. who cares? If i do something its because i want to not to feel like the person owes something to me

[epo]

Vile bastard.

P.S. - notice who urged the use of hand written thank you notes? CHICKS! Man up, GODDAMNIT!

Piss off. I write handwritten notes as its simply good form.

[Gvac]

Piss off. I write handwritten notes as its simply good form.

And I'm sure your boyfriends greatly appreciate it.

I'm sorry I called you a chick.

It's 2009 and I can accept your lifestyle even though I don't understand it.

[epo]

And I'm sure your boyfriends greatly appreciate it.

I'm sorry I called you a chick.

It's 2009 and I can accept your lifestyle even though I don't understand it.

Are you sure you aren't one of those self-important baby boomer assholes?

[Gvac]

Are you sure you aren't one of those self-important baby boomer assholes?

Positive.

I'm really not self-important.

[Friday]

Positive.

I'm really not self-important.

:lol:

sorry, g.
but thank you so much... i so needed that laugh tonight.

:lol:

[epo]

Positive.

I'm really not self-important.

Yet you can't make the gesture of thanks on a piece of paper?
Likely story. Your generation of baby boomers is the worst.

[Gvac]

:lol:

sorry, g.
but thank you so much... i so needed that laugh tonight.

:lol:

I live to serve!


Or do I serve to live?

Hmmmm......