What Is The Biggest, Most Outrageous Lie You Have Ever Told?

[Rockvillejoe]

We all have told a few whoppers. Nothing to be ashamed of. I will confess the biggest, most ridiculous one (of many) that I cringe when I remember it. I am getting douche chills right now thinking about it........okay, okay.

I went around telling prospective chicks that I was one of the guys that they hired to pose in the Marlboro cigarrette ads. Remember the cowboy with the mustache and cowboy hat with the brown jacket and white lapels? That was me!!!! Swear to God!!! ME! Really!!
or so I claimed.........

(editors note: the real guy recently died of lung cancer... urban myth or ironic truth?)

anywho....

What was your lie? It doesn't have to be for self aggrandizement like my pathetic self, but for whatever reason. "I won't come in your mouth" does not even rate. we all have said that.

So, pour us a cup of your biggest lies....

[Tenbatsuzen]

She's your sister? I didn't know that.

[JerseyRich]

She's your sister? I didn't know that.

Are you sure it wasn't?..."Those look totally real!"

[TheGameHHH]

Herpes? Me? Absolutely not.

[west milly Tom]

I once told a chick I was a millionaire and owned my own consulting firm and huge house in jersey. My buddys went right
Along with it. Oh man, what an ass I am. It worked. She left the daqueri bar with us. Chicks are dumb, that's the only reason men even try that shit

[Don Stugots]

I love you.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Are you sure it wasn't?..."Those look totally real!"

You don't know me very well, because I'd NEVER say that.

[west milly Tom]

I love you.

Winner. How did I miss that?

[Aggie]

I love you.

Or til death do us part...

[Tenbatsuzen]

Or til death do us part...

Well, he lied on that twice already

[Marc with a c]

i'm pregnant

[drjoek]

i'm pregnant

You bastard. Give me back my 700. Bucks.

[Marc with a c]

You bastard. Give me back my 700. Bucks.

i'm really pregnant this time..

[zildjian361]

i don't do coke anymore.11-14-08:tongue::drunk::smoke:

[reillyluck]

thats ok, it happens to everyone sometimes.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

"Not to be racist or anything!"

[brettmojo]

I was at work one day and this old lady rudely asked me a question while my back was turned to her. I ignored her. Then when she walked around in front of me and continued I said,"Oh I'm sorry, I'm completely deaf in my right ear." She said,"Oh, I'm sorry." Then I told her it happened when I was a kid and I was sledding with friends and my little brother Harry down a hill by this pond when Harry fell through the ice and I jumped in to save him. I told her the ear got water in it which caused me to get a really bad cold that destroyed the hearing in my ear. She said,"Oh my god, but that was nice that you saved your brother."

[Gvac]

I don't lie.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Ok, here's a real story:

I was in Canada visiting family friends when I was 9. Their 8 year old kid had sunglasses on that she got from a Happy Meal and I wanted 'em (remember that stupid man on the moon gimmick they had going in the 80's?). So I said "It's my birthday. I should get to wear those shades" and her older sister stared at me and was like "It's your birhtday??" "Yep!" I was one cool shade-wearing motherfucker that day, lemme tell ya.

That evening as we're leaving, the family tells us to hold up, then surprised me with a Ghostbusters toy they had just bought me for my birthday. I just said "Th-Thanks!!!" and went home with a new toy. 'Course my real birthday was 4 months away. I figured it's better not to say anything.

[SKANE]

I was at work one day and this old lady rudely asked me a question while my back was turned to her. I ignored her. Then when she walked around in front of me and continued I said,"Oh I'm sorry, I'm completely deaf in my right ear." She said,"Oh, I'm sorry." Then I told her it happened when I was a kid and I was sledding with friends and my little brother Harry down a hill by this pond when Harry fell through the ice and I jumped in to save him. I told her the ear got water in it which caused me to get a really bad cold that destroyed the hearing in my ear. She said,"Oh my god, but that was nice that you saved your brother."

Wasn't Harry a war hero? I think I've heard that somewhere.

[zildjian361]

thats ok, it happens to everyone sometimes.

enabler:wub:

[Badinia]

OK, freshman year of college, getting to know the other idiots, I found I had a photo ID of an ex boyfriend in my wallet.
Being pasty goth fucks, we did not look dissimilar to each other, and being that I am nearly six foot tall, I decide to tell a tall tale about how I was a recent successful trans operation. I put a lot of details in my story and everyone bought it, some for an hour, some for a day, some for a week.

Except the dumb hippie girl.

She bought it for two years, and as far as I know, to the present day. I ran into her on campus years later and she asked if I could have an orgasm, and I blanked at her until she reminded me that my equipment had been modified from the factory original. I don't know why I didn't cave at this point, it would have been so embarrassing for the gullible girl and the liar both.

But, you know. It's the least flattering lie ever.

[mikeyboy]

I convinced a bunch of people that our friend Lynn's full name was actually Lynnoleum, because her grandfather invented linoleum and her parents gave her that name because it was one of the conditions of her getting a huge inheritance from him when she turned 21. It was a long story, with lots of outlandish details that people believed because there was no reason to lie about it. I only did it to see what I could get people to believe. I got Lynn in on it too, and a lot of people bought it for a while.

[Marc with a c]

i once told people i went to a party in a bread truck.

[~Katja~]

You bastard. Give me back my 700. Bucks.

he bought a fancy diamond encrusted coat hanger?

[Foster]

I was at work one day and this old lady rudely asked me a question while my back was turned to her. I ignored her. Then when she walked around in front of me and continued I said,"Oh I'm sorry, I'm completely deaf in my right ear." She said,"Oh, I'm sorry." Then I told her it happened when I was a kid and I was sledding with friends and my little brother Harry down a hill by this pond when Harry fell through the ice and I jumped in to save him. I told her the ear got water in it which caused me to get a really bad cold that destroyed the hearing in my ear. She said,"Oh my god, but that was nice that you saved your brother."


It's a Wonderful Lie

[mikeyboy]

i once told people i went to a party in a bread truck.

SONOFABITCH! That was true!

http://purple53.com/photo/2006-08-flagstaff.jpg

[Marc with a c]

i still going around telling people i am a lawyer even though i spend all day on the internet doing nothing important.

[Foster]

i still going around telling people i am a lawyer even though i spend all day on the internet doing nothing important.

oh, a productive lawyer

[Marc with a c]

oh, a productive lawyer

i have the beard to prove it.

[mikeyboy]

I tell people I gave up a successful business career to coach baseball in the sticks of Pennsylvania.

[Marc with a c]

I tell people I gave up a successful business career to coach baseball in the sticks of Pennsylvania.

i have the beard to prove it.

[Foster]

I tell people I voted for Obama

[King Hippos Bandaid]

how bout 6000 micro lies, does that equal a outrageous lie?

[IMSlacker]

I once pretended that I needed to go outside to make a call on my cell phone in order to ditch my cousin's New Year's Eve party.

[Friday]

i once told an old boss that i was on my way to work from spending the night with my mom in the hospital when i was really late because i was still drunk from an awards ceremony the night before.