Well this was awkward

[IamFogHat]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today. Here's the story, my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condoms, and while there I realized I had to get Halloween candy. I hadn't thought about it cause I'm going to be at work when kids are trick or treating, so I bought a bunch of candy to put out in a bowl on the front stoop. Anyway, I was at the self check out, so a store employee had to come over and check my id and override the underage thing, but when he came over he took a look at what I was buying, a huge vat of wine, condemns, and a bunch of Halloween candy, and I got a very suspicious look. And then awkwardness ensued.
Hm, this wasn't a good a story written down as I thought it was. Anyway hope someone chuckles.

[dryerdoor]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today. Here's the story, my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condemns, and while there I realized I had to get Halloween candy. I hadn't thought about it cause I'm going to be at work when kids are trick or treating, so I bought a bunch of candy to put out in a bowl on the front stoop. Anyway, I was at the self check out, so a store employee had to come over and check my id and override the underage thing, but when he came over he took a look at what I was buying, a huge vat of wine, condemns, and a bunch of Halloween candy, and I got a very suspicious look. And then awkwardness ensued.
Hm, this wasn't a good a story written down as I thought it was. Anyway hope someone chuckles.

Kid toucher.

Still, that is pretty awkward.

[SatCam]

did you wink

[IamFogHat]

did you wink

:lol: Goddammit I should have.

[KC2OSO]

was your zipper down?

[drjoek]

You should have grabbed a big botttle of ether and some rope and made the package complete:lol:

Is the spelling of condoms a Fruedian slip?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

ha

I would have made the candy purchase somewhere else

funny story though, Id find a younger girl relative and come into the store next time with herto further creep out the gentleman, but I have problems

[dryerdoor]

ha

I would have made the candy purchase somewhere else

funny story though, Id find a younger girl relative and come into the store next time with herto further creep out the gentleman, but I have problems

And inappropriately rub her back and shoulders.

[ANC]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today. Here's the story, my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condemns, and while there I realized I had to get Halloween candy. I hadn't thought about it cause I'm going to be at work when kids are trick or treating, so I bought a bunch of candy to put out in a bowl on the front stoop. Anyway, I was at the self check out, so a store employee had to come over and check my id and override the underage thing, but when he came over he took a look at what I was buying, a huge vat of wine, condemns, and a bunch of Halloween candy, and I got a very suspicious look. And then awkwardness ensued.
Hm, this wasn't a good a story written down as I thought it was. Anyway hope someone chuckles.

:lol: You just made my day!

[TheMojoPin]

my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condemns

Are you just gonna get hammered and yell and judge her for all the things she's done wrong?

Kinky.

[ANC]

Are you just gonna get hammered and yell and judge her for all the things she's done wrong?

Kinky.

I was going to call attention to that, but couldn't find the angle.

To you sir:

http://www.cityhall.lima.oh.us/images/hr/hatoff.gif

[topless_mike]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today. Here's the story, my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condemns, and while there I realized I had to get Halloween candy. I hadn't thought about it cause I'm going to be at work when kids are trick or treating, so I bought a bunch of candy to put out in a bowl on the front stoop. Anyway, I was at the self check out, so a store employee had to come over and check my id and override the underage thing, but when he came over he took a look at what I was buying, a huge vat of wine, condemns, and a bunch of Halloween candy, and I got a very suspicious look. And then awkwardness ensued.
Hm, this wasn't a good a story written down as I thought it was. Anyway hope someone chuckles.

jackass...

but it made my day.

[Furtherman]

You should have picked up some duc-tape and a shovel too.

[dryerdoor]

You should have picked up some duc-tape and a shovel too.

Well at that point, you're just screaming to get caught.

[TheMojoPin]

I think the people a the store were being dicks. Anyone who has watched the show should know that wine coolers are the seduction drink du jour of molesters. A huge jug of wine is questionable, but not kid touch-y.

[biggestmexi]

should have had some lube too.

Then when the Clerk looked at you, you should have said:

"Ever try putting it into a DRY ass????"

[Furtherman]

Well at that point, you're just screaming to get caught.

That's why you buy the duc-tape. So the little kiddies are quiet.


Sheesh!

[biggestmexi]

http://www.demotivateus.com/posters/justkidding-demotivational-posters.jpg

[Judge Smails]

When my daughter was 5, my wife thought it would be funny to take a picture of her while taking a bubble bath. Weeks later when we got the prints I went to pick them up at Target with my daughter. Not having any idea what was in the batch of photos, my daughter and I were having a fun time looking at the pictures one by one.

She's sitting in the shopping cart, in the middle of the toothpaste aisle, when we get to the bathtub photo and she screams out: "Ha-ha, I'm naked!" Some bitch who happened to be in the aisle looks over and says: "Hey, what's in those photos?" I laughed, assuming she was making a joke and got back to looking at the pictures. But she hovered about five feet from us for an uncomfortable amount of time just gave me a dirty look. I finally realized and shot a look that pretty much conveyed: "Go fuck yourself you nosy cunt" and continued looking at the photos. Then she just huffed and walked away.

Don't let a fucking stranger judge you if you've done nothing wrong. I almost wish she would have called someone on me so I could show the cops the picture of my daughter in the bathtub with only her head popping out of a mountain of bubbles.

[ahhdurr]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today..

mod quote!!

mod quote!!

I need go no further with this thread.

(I will of course)

[ANC]

That's why you buy the duc-tape. So the little kiddies are quiet.


Sheesh!

Don't you mean Duct Tape? :wink:

[ScottFromGA]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today. Here's the story, my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condoms, and while there I realized I had to get Halloween candy. I hadn't thought about it cause I'm going to be at work when kids are trick or treating, so I bought a bunch of candy to put out in a bowl on the front stoop. Anyway, I was at the self check out, so a store employee had to come over and check my id and override the underage thing, but when he came over he took a look at what I was buying, a huge vat of wine, condemns, and a bunch of Halloween candy, and I got a very suspicious look. And then awkwardness ensued.
Hm, this wasn't a good a story written down as I thought it was. Anyway hope someone chuckles.

shoulda looked at him and say, "Yeah....." then sighed.


oh the funny....

[RAAMONE]

is this the 'advice on how to molest a child' thread

[ahhdurr]

When my daughter was 5, my wife thought it would be funny to take a picture of her while taking a bubble bath. Weeks later when we got the prints I went to pick them up at Target with my daughter. Not having any idea what was in the batch of photos, my daughter and I were having a fun time looking at the pictures one by one.

She's sitting in the shopping cart, in the middle of the toothpaste aisle, when we get to the bathtub photo and she screams out: "Ha-ha, I'm naked!" Some bitch who happened to be in the aisle looks over and says: "Hey, what's in those photos?" I laughed, assuming she was making a joke and got back to looking at the pictures. But she hovered about five feet from us for an uncomfortable amount of time just gave me a dirty look. I finally realized and shot a look that pretty much conveyed: "Go fuck yourself you nosy cunt" and continued looking at the photos. Then she just huffed and walked away.

Don't let a fucking stranger judge you if you've done nothing wrong. I almost wish she would have called someone on me so I could show the cops the picture of my daughter in the bathtub with only her head popping out of a mountain of bubbles.

Probably had no kids too. I love when Fez gets on a rant about how to raise children... and others who have no business opening their mouths do the same - it seems to be getting worse. its an insanity.

I'm working on a crusade... something to rail against as a full-time avocation... this one might have legs only b/c I've started having kids.

Yeah - Foghat - that's a better story if you've gone through it ... I think it's just the mixing of things going to kids and things leading to an orgasm. Juxaposition is awkward sometimes for a cash register working animal.

[Jughead]

I had kind of a Chris Hansen moment today. Here's the story, my chick is coming in today so of course I went to the store like an hour ago to get a gigantic 4 liter bottle of wine and condoms, and while there I realized I had to get Halloween candy. I hadn't thought about it cause I'm going to be at work when kids are trick or treating, so I bought a bunch of candy to put out in a bowl on the front stoop. Anyway, I was at the self check out, so a store employee had to come over and check my id and override the underage thing, but when he came over he took a look at what I was buying, a huge vat of wine, condemns, and a bunch of Halloween candy, and I got a very suspicious look. And then awkwardness ensued.
Hm, this wasn't a good a story written down as I thought it was. Anyway hope someone chuckles.

Ok Uncle Foggy...:lol::lol::lol:

[Judge Smails]

is this the 'advice on how to molest a child' thread

http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj287/dmanwhore/free_candy_van.jpg

[IamFogHat]

Ok Uncle Foggy...:lol::lol::lol:

A-hah-a-hah-a-hah.

[Judge Smails]

Was this the wine you were buying?

http://www.nobeliefs.com/gifts/JesusJuice.gif

[DrDrew319]

As long as they werent candy flavored condoms, i think your in the clear

[red_red_red]

do you know this girl foggy?
http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/85/64/jonbenet.0.0.0x0.373x411.jpeg

[PapaBear]

I had what could have turned out to be a VERY awkward moment tonight. I saw a guy who's the brother of an old deceased friend. The guy looked EXACTLY like my friend (Brian). When I saw him, I just stood there stunned. I almost said, "Brian?".

That probably wouldn't have been good.

[StanUpshaw]

nevermind

[disneyspy]

nevermind

awkward

[KC2OSO]

awkward
Great album though.