My Client Farted...............

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I just was outside with a client selling a cruise to a 55 yr Old Couple and the Wife farted really loud


It was very awkward and it smelled really bad


They are very good clients who book high end cruises, so I did not laugh


Who else has had any other awkward work situations.................

[Friday]

during a recent interview with a recruiter, she was asking me some routine questions and she adjusted her position on the chair and farted rather loudly.

luckily it was pretty much odorless, but she was Extremely embarrassed.

i just laughed it off and tried to make her feel less self-conscious but internally i was doing this: :lol:

[Hottub]

Hippo, you throw her a high-five and get them an upgrade!

Classic.

[drjoek]

A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!!

[sr71blackbird]

I was at a meeting with our director and I stretched my arms backward because we were sitting there so long when suddenly my shoulder came out of the socket and I yelled out and quickly drew my hands back in and it's sound made the room like a morgue.

[SatCam]

when I was in 5th grade I bent over to get a pencil and farted, then I tried to play it off to the kids around me like my chair creeked or something.


still haunts me to this day




actually I was in shoprite a few days ago and unloaded an accidental SBD as two hot coeds walked by. like 5th grade all over again

[hunnerbun]

actually I was in shoprite a few days ago and unloaded an accidental SBD as two hot coeds walked by. like 5th grade all over again

WTF is the deal with men dropping bombs when they are at the grocery store. My dad used to do this when we were kids, then walk away giggling to himself, my b/f does the same thing, bastards!

[Judge Smails]

I just was outside with a client selling a cruise to a 55 yr Old Couple and the Wife farted really loud


It was very awkward and it smelled really bad


They are very good clients who book high end cruises, so I did not laugh


Who else has had any other awkward work situations.................

I say: Whoever smelt it dealt it.

[Liverspot]

Whenever I am in public and have to rip one I get near a kid, either my own or whatever one is close, and let it go! People always think the kid shit itself.:tongue:

[Judge Smails]

I was at the football field a couple of weeks ago watching my son practice when someone walked by walking their dog. Of course they were carrying a big plastic bag of dog shit as their dog had just done his business. Man that smell lingered for like five minutes. I thought I was gonna die.

Of course, just about this time one of the cheerleading teams jogs by. While the smell was still there, the dog was long gone and I'm pretty sure I heard some of the girls giggling. Probably thought it was me.

[britneypablo]

whenever i try to fart out loud it never wants to come out....i am fine with farting in public and makin a scene about it....its when my shoe or something makes a farting noise and i didnt even fart...thats when i am embarrassed bc i dont realize it and i dont know how to play it off like i really farted...so then in im that "i didnt fart it was my shoes, if i did fart i would be smiling" thing that no one ever believes....but i drink alot of protein shakes so my farts have a certain smell about them

[RoseBlood]

whenever i try to fart out loud it never wants to come out....i am fine with farting in public and makin a scene about it....its when my shoe or something makes a farting noise and i didnt even fart...thats when i am embarrassed bc i dont realize it and i dont know how to play it off like i really farted...so then in im that "i didnt fart it was my shoes, if i did fart i would be smiling" thing that no one ever believes....but i drink alot of protein shakes so my farts have a certain smell about them

Yeah!

Females need not be embarrassed to expel their gas in public anymore. Look on the bright-side, anything that draws attention to our butts can't be all bad.

[LaBoob]

I had a dog-trainer that used to come over to work with my dog and one time he was squatting down showing us something to do with Stasha on the floor and he farted... My sister and I almost swallowed our own tongues trying not to laugh as Stasha went around and smelled his ass out of curiosity.

Also, when people walk through public places like supermarkets dropping bombs and walking away, it's called crop-dusting, and I've dated guys who do it like it's their job.

[jennysmurf]

I was at the football field a couple of weeks ago watching my son practice when someone walked by walking their dog. Of course they were carrying a big plastic bag of dog shit as their dog had just done his business. Man that smell lingered for like five minutes. I thought I was gonna die.

Of course, just about this time one of the cheerleading teams jogs by. While the smell was still there, the dog was long gone and I'm pretty sure I heard some of the girls giggling. Probably thought it was me.

This post just made my day. Thank you.

[DarkHippie]

I had a dog-trainer that used to come over to work with my dog and one time he was squatting down showing us something to do with Stasha on the floor and he farted... My sister and I almost swallowed our own tongues trying not to laugh as Stasha went around and smelled his ass out of curiosity.

Also, when people walk through public places like supermarkets dropping bombs and walking away, it's called crop-dusting, and I've dated guys who do it like it's their job.

This is one of my favorite hobbies. I like to drink a protein shake before going to pathmark and then commence the carpet bombing

[WampusCrandle]

i had a patron at my library throw dvd's like a frisbee at me because she had a small fine. i've also had to call the police when a man was masturbating on the electric outlets.

yay . . . . .

[jennysmurf]

i had a patron at my library throw dvd's like a frisbee at me because she had a small fine. i've also had to call the police when a man was masturbating on the electric outlets.

yay . . . . .

hot.

[RoseBlood]

i had a patron at my library throw dvd's like a frisbee at me because she had a small fine. i've also had to call the police when a man was masturbating on the electric outlets.

yay . . . . .

Libraries really seem to attract the freaks and perverts. I can't tell you how many times they've caught men exposing themselves or masturbating on and in between the books at my mother's job. :wacko:

[Dingbat_Charlie]

I like to crop-dust on crowded escalators, then imagine the poor fools behind me helplessly rising into the funk.

[DarkHippie]

I've said it before, I've seen two grown retarded men fight each other for the right to eat the shit from their own diapers

[TheMojoPin]

A-B-F. A-always, B-be, F-farting. Always be farting! Always be farting!! A-C-D-E. Ass, clenching, decision, expulsion. Ass -- are you ready for it to unleash? Clenching -- are you afraid? I know you are because it's fart or shit your pants. You fart or you shit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision to fart?!! And expulsion. A-C-D-E; get it out there!!

[A.J.]

A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!!

A-B-F. A-always, B-be, F-farting. Always be farting! Always be farting!! A-C-D-E. Ass, clenching, decision, expulsion. Ass -- are you ready for it to unleash? Clenching -- are you afraid? I know you are because it's fart or shit your pants. You fart or you shit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision to fart?!! And expulsion. A-C-D-E; get it out there!!

Shelly "The Farting Machine" Levene!

http://i.usatoday.net/life/_photos/2007/08/21/DVD-glengarryx.jpg

[ANC]

I just was outside with a client selling a cruise to a 55 yr Old Couple and the Wife farted really loud


It was very awkward and it smelled really bad


They are very good clients who book high end cruises, so I did not laugh


Who else has had any other awkward work situations.................

You should've said "Oh it's fart contest you want huh?" then straddled her face and cut a nice gasser while yelling "Get Some!"

Managers here fart all the time and address it with a "ugh" or a sigh. They do it in meetings, in the hallways, meh I guess I'm used to it.

[reillyluck]

when I was in 5th grade I bent over to get a pencil and farted, then I tried to play it off to the kids around me like my chair creeked or something.


still haunts me to this day




actually I was in shoprite a few days ago and unloaded an accidental SBD as two hot coeds walked by. like 5th grade all over again

hahaha!!! i did the same thing only i was laughing and i farted. i was in the 5th grade too. i blamed this kid Raymond who was standing next to me and i proceeded to yell out "ewwwwwwwww fart boy!!!" the whole class busted out laughing and till this day he is known as Fart Boy. he is now 31.

I will take it to my grave. :devil2:

[ANC]

A few years back I was at the SI Ferry terminal going into the city with a few friends and I let one slip. Well it was baaaaaaad and spread rapidly. I was embarrassed because I was in mixed company so I blamed it on a homeless guy.

[Hottub]

One time at Bar 9 I cut a really really stinky one.
I turned around and pointed at Radio-Shark.:devil2:

[Furtherman]

Libraries really seem to attract the freaks and perverts. I can't tell you how many times they've caught men exposing themselves or masturbating on and in between the books at my mother's job. :wacko:

Hearing something like this blows my mind. Half of the feeling is repulsive that someone would do that but the other half is scared that one day I'll hear a freaky story like that and something in my mind will snap. "I'll do that on my lunch break today."

[Jughead]

The dumb ass in the office next to me ask the customers wife when the baby was due...I heard the lady say Im not pregnant!!!!! The Husband starting laughing when they left...It was so bad!!!..You just never assume anything in this business...Like once I said is this your dad to a lady...He got pissed it was her husband she asked for another salesman:furious:..I never did that again it was about 15 years ago...

[ANC]

The dumb ass in the office next to me ask the customers wife when the baby was due...I heard the lady say Im not pregnant!!!!! The Husband starting laughing when they left...It was so bad!!!..You just never assume anything in this business...Like once I said is this your dad to a lady...He got pissed it was her husband she asked for another salesman:furious:..I never did that again it was about 15 years ago...

"So when's the baby due?"

http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/uploaded_images/regan-708261.jpg

[Jennitalia]

this happened to me twice. the first one wasnt so bad. i was massaging a woman and she farted, but it wasn't an awful smelly one...just a little toot. she was half out of it and apologized, and luckily she couldnt see me trying not to laugh. the second time was during a session with this annoying old fat cow and she cut it twice...the first time i was working on her hammies and she pretty much blasted one right in my face. it was the worst thing ever...like rotten broccoli that's been sitting there for 50 years. and then she did it again when she was turned over. i just stared at her in disgust. and she was a lousy tipper. women are fucking pigs

[El Mudo]

WTF is the deal with men dropping bombs when they are at the grocery store. My dad used to do this when we were kids, then walk away giggling to himself, my b/f does the same thing, bastards!

I worked in a grocery store for close to 10 years, and I became a legend at this. I would blast one at one end of the aisle, and if it was particularly vile, i would move quickly away to either the other end of the aisle or completely out of it...i considered it my gift to Giant Food Inc.

[KingGeno]

It was moments from a meeting starting yesterday. I just finished a diet coke. I had to burp, so I walked sorta out of the way and tried to do a silent internal burp. It ended up just rolling up my throat into my nose. It sounded like Dracula Castle's front door crept open. Stone quiet afterwards.

[Furtherman]

Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer (http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/29653059.html)

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- As if getting a DUI wasn’t enough, a man arrested for driving under the influence got in a lot more trouble at the police station.

Police stopped Jose Cruz on Route 60 in South Charleston Monday night for driving with his headlights off.

Then, he failed sobriety tests and was arrested.

When police were trying to get fingerprints, police say Cruz moved closer to the officer and passed gas on him. The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong.

Cruz is now charged with battery on a police

[TheMojoPin]

hahaha!!! i did the same thing only i was laughing and i farted. i was in the 5th grade too. i blamed this kid Raymond who was standing next to me and i proceeded to yell out "ewwwwwwwww fart boy!!!" the whole class busted out laughing and till this day he is known as Fart Boy. he is now 31.

I will take it to my grave. :devil2:

Fart Girl.

[hurlmon]

I like to crop-dust on crowded escalators, then imagine the poor fools behind me helplessly rising into the funk.

Nothing beats dropping one on the subway. Everyone must bath in it till they get off and you get to see their reactions. You just have to have the disgusted look like everyone else. No standing there and giggling like normal.

My record while standing in a door area is 3 people deep in the seats with their shirts pulled up over their nose. :)

[reillyluck]

Fart Girl.

faggot.

[Dougie Brootal]

when I was in 5th grade I bent over to get a pencil and farted, then I tried to play it off to the kids around me like my chair creeked or something.


still haunts me to this day




actually I was in shoprite a few days ago and unloaded an accidental SBD as two hot coeds walked by. like 5th grade all over again

why? cuz they were 11?

[TheMojoPin]

faggot.

Fart Girl.

[TheGameHHH]

faggot.

don't go deflecting blame again, stop being a little bitch.......

fart girl

[reillyluck]

don't go deflecting blame again, stop being a little Mojo.......

fart girl

hahahahaha!!!

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Good morning. I will tell you a story.

9 years old, I had a young little polish girl at my house watching TV. I felt a burbling in my tum, and said 'Hey, check it!' and clenched my stomach muscles. Thought I'd have a good ho ho ha ha with the fart. Shit flies out my ass instead, and I demand she leave the house before she can realize I just soiled myself. Kids are dumb, y'know.

See you next time.

-CCC

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Air Hippo Shit Boy and Fart Girl

we sound like a bunch of rejected Batman Villians

[reillyluck]

Good morning. I will tell you a story.

9 years old, I had a young little polish girl at my house watching TV. I felt a burbling in my tum, and said 'Hey, check it!' and clenched my stomach muscles. Thought I'd have a good ho ho ha ha with the fart. Shit flies out my ass instead, and I demand she leave the house before she can realize I just soiled myself. Kids are dumb, y'know.

See you next time.

-CCC

Shit boy.




























This is fun.

[ibanez23]

My coworker took his rod out and I accidently fell on it with my mouth.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

:lol:

Fart Grrl pwnd me again

[ANC]

My coworker took his rod out and I accidently fell on it with my mouth.

:lol:

[TheMojoPin]

hahahahaha!!!

At least now we know all of the weed is to mask the stench of your rampant farting.

Fart Girl.

[grlNIN]

Good morning. I will tell you a story.

9 years old, I had a young little polish girl at my house watching TV. I felt a burbling in my tum, and said 'Hey, check it!' and clenched my stomach muscles. Thought I'd have a good ho ho ha ha with the fart. Shit flies out my ass instead, and I demand she leave the house before she can realize I just soiled myself. Kids are dumb, y'know.

See you next time.

-CCC

Best.

[Hottub]

Dear Dr. Steve,
Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a problem with excessive flatulence. The kids would mock me all the time. I tried to hang out with only people who had dogs, but that didn't always work.
Now the gas is ruining my social and sexual life. They all call me Fart Girl.
Is there anything I can do?

Your friend,

reillyluck.

[Bob Impact]

Back when i still believed I could gain weight I was drinking piles protein and weight gainer shakes so my ass smelled something awful. This actually came in handy as a management tool. I didn't want the salesguys hanging out at the front counter because it looked like a feeding frenzy when customers came in, so I would routinely drop a bomb in the middle of the front counter.

Also, Black Friday my last year at Tweeter, we had a LINE of cheap motherfuckers coming to buy a shitty GPS we were selling for like nothing. Being full of Post Thanksgiving dinner I dropped a fuckin BOMB right in front of the front door right before the manager opened it. I actually saw people reconsider coming it. :lol:

[Jennitalia]

http://http://www.dlisted.com/node/28431 (http://www.dlisted.com/node/28431)

[Tall_James]

There is no sound like an old lady farting on a wooden pew in church. Funniest thing EVER to a 9 year old Tall James.