My guide on how to make a popular podcast

[Flea_Man]

So you've seen been considered the "life of the party" a few times and have some opinions about your favorite subjects? If you're like anyone with a microphone and a soundboard these days, you think you're just about ready to do a podcast. And of course it's going to be a podcast because everyone knows you stutter and stammer under pressure and being live with people telling you that you suck during your own show certainly won't boost any hits on your Myspace. But before you go ahead and just ramble into a microphone with your gobbledygook, there are a few steps you need to take before. Here's a friendly how to guide by yours truly:

Step one is obviously going to be who is going to be part of your podcast. Since it's important to talk about what you know, the main person is going to be you. But while you aren't all that interesting to begin with, you're going to have to ham yourself up with bullshit stories and blatant lies about your sexual history so your audience can actually give a fuck. Plus, you're going to be loved by everyone but hate everyone who has every run into you that way people relate. The second person is going to be someone who is your friend that will never leave your side, but also who you see as beneath you because there's no way you can be overshadowed as the charismatic entity that binds the show together. Now for your third mic it's a tricky one. It has to be someone who is over the top and off the wall like a drunken frat boy on steroids; or your friend-who-isn't-on-the-podcast's girlfriend because it's the only female who isn't repulsed by you and finds something endearing and cute about your efforts to be insightful and witty.

Step two is going to be about content and humor. While humor is entirely optional because you want to come off as serious and perceptive; content is what will hold your audience for more then 20 seconds. The content should be a combination of three things. The first two are super macho locker room men talk "yeah females don't understand us but want to so lets have them get us and the men can agree". So obviously, it will be video games and sports. The third topic has to be a confession topic where you admit to gay things that men do so the women can laugh and the guys can relate. This may not sound like A-material but phrase it right and there's hits to be had on your Myspace. If these topics don't work then go for the intelligent crowd, rant about George Bush, and praise Obama endlessly.

Step three is going to be your musical selection. And your best bet for this situation is to go with late 80s/early 90s hip-hop. Since you're trying to look edgy and old school while trying to be hip enough for the new crowd, you're going to have to appease them with some NWA, Tupac, Biggie, Run DMC, and Grandmaster Flash. Obviously you have no idea how to connect with the music so you'll just throw in a few "uh huh yea" and "word up"s in there so you look cool.

Step four is probably your easiest one there is, and that is "shout outs". Everyone likes hearing their name on any form of media, and the best way to generate more conversation about your podcast is to throw in a few "thank yous and fuck yous" to anyone who might have downloaded it. Not only that, but also this can take anywhere from 30 seconds to 30 minutes. This equals less time you try to come up with material. Which is the better chance you have of getting people riled up. Which is the better chance you have of people complaining about how you spent too much time talking about people complaining.

So now you've got your people and the content down, but you're sitting like a bump on a log on the worldwide superhighway and want to stick out amongst all the other radio show wannabes. So how do you stand out? Well of course, you're forgetting the most important part of your podcast and that's step five: conflict. I'm not talking about dramatic happenings during the show, although that could certainly be possible. I'm talking about inconsistency and hostility. Without any argument, debate, or "in studio fighting"; you're going to come off as a bunch of guys who took their microphones and put them in your car (even though that might be more interesting then forcing yourself to be brilliant). Let's say for example that you're sick of talking about who is your fantasy draft pick, and you're going to talk about alcoholism and the "is it a disease" argument. Obviously this might come out of right field because you've established yourself as an fun alternative to the real issues of the world but nevermind that, you're trying to generate traffic! Conflict is the martyr that holds a podcast together.

Now that you've established what your show is going to be, you can respond to constructive criticism with hostility and angry comments with flawed arguments like "I don't see you doing anything better and I can do whatever I want with my show", "you're just jealous you didn't think of it first", blah blah blah. But keep continuing what you are doing because the second you try to evolve into a newer show and not have the same things people loved or hated is when they leave in search of more things to nitpick and nag on.

So now your podcast is complete and ready to go! All that there's left to do is hurl it into the recycling bin, empty it out, run Norton anti-virus, and defrag your whole computer; getting rid of any evidence you had of this idea in the first place. Why? Because putting a microphone at the dinner table with your friends is not interesting to anyone else out there.

[spoon]

really?

[Dougie Brootal]

this sucks

[drjoek]

Why not work on being a popular individual before you worry about a popular podcast

[RAAMONE]

i'm just going to go ahead and assume this is stupid...because there is no way i'm reading that

[SatCam]

omg hahahahahahahahaha that was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didnt see that coming!!!!!!!!

[SatCam]

So how many boards did you post this one on?

[RhinoinMN]

i'm just going to go ahead and assume this is stupid...because there is no way i'm reading that

x2

That is really long.

[Flea_Man]

So how many boards did you post this one on?

8 so far

[JPMNICK]

You are more punchable then Robin Givens

[mikeyboy]

8 so far

Seriously. Knock it off. Has anyone ever responded favorably here when you do that? Get a blog.

[SatCam]

Seriously. Knock it off. Has anyone ever responded favorably here when you do that? Get a blog.

or atleast write a guide on how to make one

[RhinoinMN]

or atleast write a guide on how to make one

:lol::lol::lol:

[commish13]

I don't know if there's anybody that you're specifically targeting with this rant, but there's one thing I do happen to know, and that's how to make a popular podcast.

And YOU can become one of the many faithful!

http://www.rbrwrestling.com
http://www.fanoff.com

[DolaMight]

My guide on how to win the superbowl

by Dan Marino

[commish13]

My guide on how to win the superbowl

by Dan Marino

Hahahahah nice!

[DolaMight]

My guide to scoring with women

by Earl Douglass

[mikeyboy]

My guide to staying on topic

by jlehane3

[JPMNICK]

My guide to leave a message board

By Gvac

[Death Metal Moe]

Why not work on being a popular individual before you worry about a popular podcast

Fuck, beaten to the punch. Well done sir.

Flea, why do you do this to yourself? Seriously, it gets real old real fast.

[drjoek]

My guide to the ultimate threesome

By douggrasso

[SatCam]

My guide to dieting

by kinghipposbandaid

[JPMNICK]

My Guide to successful and meaningful relationships

By Keithy_19

[KatPw]

Shouldn't you have a popular podcast BEFORE you write a guide explaining how to create a popular podcast?
I'd take podcasting advice from Jonathan Larroquette and Seth Romanelli from Uhh, Yeah Dude, and that's about it.

[mikeyboy]

My guide to punctuation and capitalization

by patsopinion

[JimmieHats]

The Guide to the Comedy Pyramid

by Ron and Fez

[JPMNICK]

My guide to home ownership past 65

By Ed McMahon

[disneyspy]

my gude to sentence structure,syntax,how bout them cowboys,even negative attention is attention,eh flea?

by disneyspy

[King Hippos Crown]

now I'm not sure if Flea wants heel heat , or this dumb act isn't an act


my guide to game winning home runs

by A-Rod

[mikeyboy]

My guide to marital bliss

by Phil Hartman

[Drunky McBetidont]

i was hoping this had something to do with pissing on your own feet. big disappointment.

[RhinoinMN]

My guide on parenting

by Chris Benoit.

[King Hippos Crown]

my guide to standing on my own 2 feet

by Heather Mills

[drjoek]

My giud to speling
by Sheepy and Joe

[JPMNICK]

my guide to light aircraft

by JFK Jr.

[DolaMight]

My guide to calling into national radio shows

By GenoBaggadonuts

[RhinoinMN]

My guide on experimental cooking.

by Jeffrey Dahmer.

[Drunky McBetidont]

our guide to fucking by earl and fez

[King Hippos Crown]

beaten by the doc


my guide to retiring

by Brett Favre

[JPMNICK]

My Guide to Parting Responsibly

By Chris Farley

[JPMNICK]

My Guide to Performing in front of Large Crowds

By Mike Birbiglia

[RhinoinMN]

my guide to light aircraft

by JFK Jr.

Foreword written by Cory Lidle and John Denver.

[JPMNICK]

My Guide to womens college basketball

By Don Imus

[DolaMight]

Our guide to unintentionally starting comedy pyramids

Co-written by Flea_Man and Hosp

[RhinoinMN]

My guide on pronunciation

By Big AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[DolaMight]

My guide to writing jokes

By dick of the bay caller

[King Hippos Crown]

my guide to self esteem

CYYFYYYY

[disneyspy]

my guide on presidentin

by george bush

[disneyspy]

my guide to posting

by the kipster

[RhinoinMN]

My guide on telling great stories.

by CRAZED ONE

[Tallman388]

My guide to fecal cuisine

by David McDonald

[Drunky McBetidont]

but, how do i do an internet radio show? that isn't the same as a podcast is it? also, if you could outline video blogging next time, that would be great.

[spoon]

Seriously. Knock it off. Has anyone ever responded favorably here when you do that? Get a blog.

Again, but it doesn't happen right?

And show me how this awful thread isn't funny now bc of a retarded Flee. But yah, stop him from posting this, HURRY!

:wallbash:

[King Hippos Crown]

my guide to being loyal to one messageboard

by Flea_Man

[RhinoinMN]

My guide on dog training.

By Michael Vick

[Drunky McBetidont]

my guide to downhill skiing
by sonny bono

[spoon]

Our guide to great radio.

Franklyn and Don Stugots.

[King Hippos Crown]

My guide on correct decision making...

Brian Dunkelman

[spoon]

my guide to downhill skiing
by sonny bono

Sweet.

[King Hippos Crown]

my guide to cheering for the Home Sports Team


spoon

[Caseyelan]

I didn't even READ that shit. But I assume he just took a dig at a bunch of his friends and when they get angry at him he will say something flea-esque like "oh man, I didn't know"

[spoon]

My guide to Mribb road trips.

My guide to dealing with sane hetero twin brothers.

Hippo

[disneyspy]

I didn't even READ that shit. But I assume he just took a dig at a bunch of his friends and when they get angry at him he will say something flea-esque like "oh man, I didn't know"

join the crowd,flea has friends?

[RhinoinMN]

My guide to being eloquent, distinguished and pleasant.

By Hottub

[IMSlacker]

My Guide To Family Fishing Trips

by Scott Peterson

[RhinoinMN]

My guide on tipping etiquette.

By Fez Whatley.

[spoon]

My guide to staying objective with sports.

BDC with special guest writers Towelie and Chris the Cop.

[spoon]

My guide to eating a cheesesteak.

Phishy

[mikeyboy]

Again, but it doesn't happen right?

And show me how this awful thread isn't funny now bc of a retarded Flee. But yah, stop him from posting this, HURRY!

:wallbash:

Oh, it's good now, but it doesn't make Flea's cut-and-paste multi-thread boards any less awful. Flea seems to fall in love with his own words and thinks that it's his duty to expose them to as many people as possible.
It screams of self-importance and attention whorism.

Eh. It's more of a pet peeve than a board rule. If people are into reading that kind of thing, more power to 'em.

[DolaMight]

my guide to downhill skiing
by sonny bono

My guide to Spiritual Retreats

by Evan Tanner

[Hottub]

My guide to being eloquent, distinguished and pleasant.

By Hottub

My guide to IP banning in 3 easy steps.


By Hottub.

[Furtherman]

My Guide To Going Down.

By Niko.

[Bossanova]

really?

Since I hate to read more than two lines and I know Flea isnt funny. I will go with a man who I trust very much and say ditto

[DolaMight]

My Guide to ...

by Rick Flair

[RhinoinMN]

My guide to IP banning in 3 easy steps.


By Hottub.


That doesn't even make sense.

[Bossanova]

That doesn't even make sense.

Does this creep ever makes sense unless its creepy

[Hottub]

That doesn't even make sense.

Really?

[angrymissy]

That doesn't even make sense.

I guess now it does. :surrender:

[DiabloSammich]

RHINO DOWN!!!!!

[mikeyboy]

Um. Technically, I think only admins can IP ban, so maybe it does make sense in some roundabout way.

[Bossanova]

BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Gvac was right. Creeptub is out of control. This is madness

[Hottub]

That doesn't even make sense.

Um. Technically, I think only admins can IP ban, so maybe it does make sense in some roundabout way.

Really?

:devil2:

[PolarbearinFL]

BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Gvac was right. Creeptub is out of control. This is madness

Dare I say....mentally unstable???

[Hottub]

Dare I say....mentally unstable???

:lol:

[Bossanova]

Dare I say....mentally unstable???

HAHA! I am awaiting a phone call from a certain someone to see if tis is the case.

[SatCam]

My guide to parenting adolescents
By Sarah Palin




My guide to adolescent parenting
By Bristol Palin

[spoon]

Since I hate to read more than two lines and I know Flea isnt funny. I will go with a man who I trust very much and say ditto

Give Delgado back!

[Bossanova]

Give Delgado back!

HAHA! Three months ago I would have given him to you for Joe Carter's spikes.

[spoon]

I will NEVER trade Joe Carter's spikes!

NEVER!











I hear Ronnie would love to try them on.

[Bossanova]

I will NEVER trade Joe Carter's spikes!

NEVER!











I hear Ronnie would love to try them on.



HAHA! Fair enough and I do not doubt it. I can send you Heilman for abso-lutely nothing

[spoon]

No thanks, our bullpen is fucking sweet!

If only Cito came back earlier.

[Bossanova]

No thanks, our bullpen is fucking sweet!

If only Cito came back earlier.

I am praying they get 11 or 12 straight whatever it is so the yanks fall further into 4th

[Tall_James]

I am praying they get 11 or 12 straight whatever it is so the yanks fall further into 4th

I'll buy that for a dollar.

[biggestmexi]

copy, paste. Copy, paste. Copy, paste.


By Opie

[ChimneyFish]

My guide to castration of a presidential candidate

by Jesse Jackson

[Heather 8]

tl;dr

Or actually, f_m;dr

[Marc with a c]

my guide for walking stairs

by billy staples

[SatCam]

My guide to keeping threads on topic

By spoon

[Marc with a c]

my guide for genital grooming

harry t's mom

[Marc with a c]

my guide to winning bets

by fez whatley

[ChimneyFish]

My guide to fathering

by Darth Vader

[RoseBlood]

My guide to increasing the girth and overall rigidity of a self-induced erection.. by jonyrotn

A guide to good oral hygiene.. by BigAAAAA

My guide to a healthy vagina.. by Alice S. Fuzzybutt

[Marc with a c]

my guide to weaves

by mikeyboy

[Heather 8]

My Guide to Eloquent Speaking by Crazy Jen

My Guide to Positive Thinking by Jerry Taker

[Marc with a c]

my guide to stepstools

by jonyrotn

my guide for softball game notification

by htg

[ChimneyFish]

Our guide to killing the Comedy Pyramid

by hayseeds across America

[Heather 8]

Our Guide to Carrying a Podcast Segment by BA 307 Randy & KHB

[RoseBlood]

My guide to starting epic threads.. by lleeder

[Marc with a c]

My guide on how to make a popular podcast

by fandick

[cougarjake13]

thats way too much to read

[mikeyboy]

thats way too much to read

I'll bet that 90% of the people posting in this thread didn't read it.

[IMSlacker]

My Guide to Posting Occasionally

King Hippos Bandaid

[IMSlacker]

I'll bet that 90% of the people posting in this thread didn't read it.

I'd be amazed if anyone read more than a sentence or two.

[Marc with a c]

my guide to eating occasionally

by king hippo

[mikeyboy]

I'd be amazed if anyone read more than a sentence or two.

I skimmed the first paragraph and the last one. That was it.

[Marc with a c]

my guide to being an admin

by bobby pants

[IMSlacker]

My Guide to not Mixing Metaphors

King Hippos Bandaid

[ChimneyFish]

My guide to child rearing

by Anthony Cumia



No pun intended


























Or maybe it was.

I don't know.

[Hottub]

I'll bet that 90% of the people posting in this thread didn't read it.

I read the whole fucking mother-fucking thing on my BB!!

Talk about dedication!

Rhino is back. Flea is banned!

[spoon]

My guide to the Mexican work ethic.

Friday

[IMSlacker]

My Guide to Avoiding Bannings

King Hippos Bandaid

[spoon]

My guide to selective/true board friendships.

Hottub

[spoon]

My guide to safe parking.

FM Jeff and Missy

[spoon]

My guide to PMs that never get read.

Hottub

[spoon]

My guide to finding a calm/mature man.

Caseyelan

[spoon]

My guide to virginity and safe sex.

Justice4All

[spoon]

My guide to a fast website.

JustJon

[spoon]

My guide on how not to be flaming.

:furious: Kevin :furious:


















































fag

[BlackSpider]

My guide to starting threads that last more than two posts by: Blackspider...

[spoon]

My guide to great r/f call ins.

Lleeder

[RoseBlood]

My guide to Multi-Quoting.. by spoon

[spoon]

My guide to rf.net cam jacking.

MWJeff













Ooops, that was doesn't work. :lol:

[spoon]

My guide to sanity.

Reeshy

[spoon]

My guide to Multi-Quoting.. by spoon

My guide to Pork Bar-B-Q.

Roseblood

[IMSlacker]

My Guide to Home Security

FMJeff

[RoseBlood]

My guide to grilling the perfect steak.. by CofyCrackCocaine

[disneyspy]

my guide to lovin da Red Wings

by spoon

[spoon]

My guide to good sleep cycles.

Papa Bear

[PapaBear]

My guide to good sleep cycles.

Papa Bear
I take offense to that! I have a very regular sleep schedule.











For a vampire.

[spoon]

my guide to lovin da Red Wings

by spoon

~2009~

http://homeboyski.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/avalanche.jpg

[Space Edge]

Please ban him for this it was written back in July and posted on every board since then. :banning:

[RoseBlood]

My guide to being a great defensive forward.. by spoon

[spoon]

My guide to being a great defensive forward.. by spoon

Fucking hilarious! Nicely done.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

My guide to having a dominatrix button... by A.Amy

[Drunky McBetidont]

my guide to healthy treadmill exercise
by Isaac Hayes






























































too soon?

[ChimneyFish]

My guide to low blood pressure

by Lewis Black

[Todd_Hilliard]

My guide to a successful marriage

By Orenthal J Simpson

[razorboy]

My guide to ending a comedy pyramid gracefully, and at its peak


By RonFez.net

[lleeder]

My guide to a long and successful marriage

by reillyluck

[Marc with a c]

she was never married tardo

[Marc with a c]

my guide to recollection

by lleeder

[lleeder]

she was never married tardo

There lies the joke dumbass. Wasn't the wedding planned then called off?

[Marc with a c]

There lies the joke dumbass.

the joke would be for somebody that had some issues with marriage (stugots), not somebody who has never been married.

[lleeder]

the joke would be for somebody that had some issues with marriage (stugots), not somebody who has never been married.

For Stugots I would just retype the thread title.

[JerseyJew]

My guide to making friends with Jim Norton

by Flea-Man

[spoon]

For Stugots I would just retype the thread title.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[spoon]

Both have me rolling to be honest!

[lleeder]

Both have me rolling to be honest!

Only pure evil can understand me.:devil2:

[BlackSpider]

Only pure evil can understand me.:devil2:

I understand you...

[ahhdurr]

I take offense to that! I have a very regular sleep schedule.











For a vampire.

ahhhh ... so this explains it. Everytime I can't sleep and do a few posts - I find ol' PapaBear lurking.:bye:

[Jubjubs]

My guide to famous voices.

By Tommy Z.