Chigworthy
09-03-2008, 09:41 PM
As documented in the Bugs thread (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1830724#post1830724), I hate potato bugs, a.k.a. Jerusalem crickets.
Well, today was an odd day for me, as documented in the Working With Hands thread. (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1849585#post1849585) I was relaxing on the couch, marveling at the awful techniques of Dog the Bounty Hunter and his family. I was still wearing my new gay jeans that I documented in the Flea's Gay-Ass Clothes thread (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1848025#post1848025). One of the dogs was at my feet, fidgeting around.
Suddenly, my subconscious brain told me something was wrong around my ankle! I bolted up and looked to see if my dog had been nuzzling with my pantleg. NO! He wasn't even close, but something was moving up my fucking leg! I jumped up off the couch and stripped the gay pants right off my ass so fast, you'd think I had practice.
The pants landed in a heap on the floor as I stared frantically at my shin, where I had last felt the creeping presence. There was nothing there! Was I just having some kind of flashback or premature DT's? My heart raced as I looked closer, thinking that perhaps an ant had been the offender. I was prepared to laugh due to my lack of respect for ants, which I have documented in the pansy-ass Ants in Food thread (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1846517#post1846517). Nothing.
As a gibbous moon rose outside of my grime-streaked window, I doubted my sanity. What had it been? A single candle burned on my writing desk, which I swept up with a maniacal fervor. I bent to more closely examine my ashen flesh. What was this? I had discovered a quivering gobbet of insectile ooze, displaying the insane colour out of space, that all victims of Yog Shoggoth know so well. My gaze shot with furious dread at my crumpled homosexual dungarees. What horrors lurked within?
Despite every screaming sense, I kneeled by the fouled clothing. I set the candle next to me, and it's flame guttered as though it knew the dread terror that was to come. With a hand that appeared skeletal in the shuddering light, I prodded open a worm-like pantleg. A scream began in my failing mind.
What did I see on that fateful, tortured night? A foul messenger of the Old Ones had been sent to corrupt me:
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d61/BBuffet/PIC-0205.jpg
Without thinking, I swept the foul creation into a jar, at once capturing it and damning me to eternal servitude under the Beyond-One and his Gates of the Silver Key:
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d61/BBuffet/PIC-0206.jpg
That's right. This fucking beast was crawling up my leg at a brisk clip, intent on massacring my oblivious nethers. Needless to say, I have a post-rape adrenalin hangover, and am furious at mother nature.
Well, today was an odd day for me, as documented in the Working With Hands thread. (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1849585#post1849585) I was relaxing on the couch, marveling at the awful techniques of Dog the Bounty Hunter and his family. I was still wearing my new gay jeans that I documented in the Flea's Gay-Ass Clothes thread (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1848025#post1848025). One of the dogs was at my feet, fidgeting around.
Suddenly, my subconscious brain told me something was wrong around my ankle! I bolted up and looked to see if my dog had been nuzzling with my pantleg. NO! He wasn't even close, but something was moving up my fucking leg! I jumped up off the couch and stripped the gay pants right off my ass so fast, you'd think I had practice.
The pants landed in a heap on the floor as I stared frantically at my shin, where I had last felt the creeping presence. There was nothing there! Was I just having some kind of flashback or premature DT's? My heart raced as I looked closer, thinking that perhaps an ant had been the offender. I was prepared to laugh due to my lack of respect for ants, which I have documented in the pansy-ass Ants in Food thread (http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1846517#post1846517). Nothing.
As a gibbous moon rose outside of my grime-streaked window, I doubted my sanity. What had it been? A single candle burned on my writing desk, which I swept up with a maniacal fervor. I bent to more closely examine my ashen flesh. What was this? I had discovered a quivering gobbet of insectile ooze, displaying the insane colour out of space, that all victims of Yog Shoggoth know so well. My gaze shot with furious dread at my crumpled homosexual dungarees. What horrors lurked within?
Despite every screaming sense, I kneeled by the fouled clothing. I set the candle next to me, and it's flame guttered as though it knew the dread terror that was to come. With a hand that appeared skeletal in the shuddering light, I prodded open a worm-like pantleg. A scream began in my failing mind.
What did I see on that fateful, tortured night? A foul messenger of the Old Ones had been sent to corrupt me:
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d61/BBuffet/PIC-0205.jpg
Without thinking, I swept the foul creation into a jar, at once capturing it and damning me to eternal servitude under the Beyond-One and his Gates of the Silver Key:
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d61/BBuffet/PIC-0206.jpg
That's right. This fucking beast was crawling up my leg at a brisk clip, intent on massacring my oblivious nethers. Needless to say, I have a post-rape adrenalin hangover, and am furious at mother nature.