Worst job interview

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I remember one I went on that was a lark. I didn't prepare and I actually heard myself say, "I'm a people person."

I automatically thought of Elaine Benes when she was interviewing for Jackie O's position:

"I don't have a chance do I?" or something to that effect.

This past Fall I interviewed with a company within walking distance from my apt for a proofreading position. I didn't do very well on the tests (a 73 and an 84). The head of the dept put the tests in front of me and asked, "How do explain this?"

It was a brutal. The last straw was when she asked about my major (Soviet Studies). She asked, "You couldn't get a job in that field?"

I tried to make a joke by saying, "My major became defunct the year I graduated." She didn't laugh.

I found it a bit insulting and I *wish* I had the cojones to stand up and say, "Thank you but this interview is over."

Of course you NEVER want to burn bridges BUT I ALWAYS see that company looking for proofreaders on monster. I imagine there is a high turnover because the boss is a major bitch!

Sometimes I think about re-applying in a year or two to see if I get a call! :clap:

[PapaBear]

This is sort of interview related. Many years ago, I applied for a job as a bartender at an extremely posh and historic hotel. At the time, I was a big time pot smoker. During the interview, the woman in charge asked if I would have a problem passing a drug test. I told her I wouldn't, and was hired the next day. I immediately started one of those cleansing things that have you drinking some weird herbal concoction for a several days. It was supposed to be 100% successful.

I went through the extensive training session for a few days and made it through one day of work. When I showed up for my second day of work, I was called into the personnel office. She told me I failed my drug test, and asked why I told her I was drug free. I said, "You didn't ask me if I was drug free. You asked me if I would have a problem passing a drug test. I guess I was wrong.":banning:

[jonyrotn]

a major bitch!
Don't waste ink Alice..
A major bitch in my neighborhood is not called a major bitch..
Spade's a Spade and a major bitch is a cunt..
You'll save yourself some keystrokes and it sounds sooooo fuckin hot..

BTW was her box full? :tongue:..

EDIT: Every single time I say the name "Alice" I have to whisper to myself "When she's ten feet tall"..I think I might be tired..

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

This is sort of interview related. Many years ago, I applied for a job as a bartender at an extremely posh and historic hotel. At the time, I was a big time pot smoker. During the interview, the woman in charge asked if I would have a problem passing a drug test. I told her I wouldn't, and was hired the next day. I immediately started one of those cleansing things that have you drinking some weird herbal concoction for a several days. It was supposed to be 100% successful.

I went through the extensive training session for a few days and made it through one day of work. When I showed up for my second day of work, I was called into the personnel office. She told me I failed my drug test, and asked why I told her I was drug free. I said, "You didn't ask me if I was drug free. You asked me if I would have a problem passing a drug test. I guess I was wrong.":banning:

I've only been drug tested twice in my work career. The first was for the very first job I had out of college (tail end of 1989). Ironically, I worked with the biggest bunch of coke fiends and pot heads at the job. Seriously, I don't know how most of them passed; although I did work with a guy who said he drank a pint of vinegar before the test. Tests back then must have been SO MUCH easier to pass.

Ironically my pot dealer back then was one of the lawyers. He had some AWESOME HERB!

The second drug test was for the current job I have now. Considering there are guys operating heavy machinery in the print shop, I was more than glad to offer a urine sample.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Don't waste ink Alice..
A major bitch in my neighborhood is not called a major bitch..
Spade's a Spade and a major bitch is a cunt..
You'll save yourself some keystrokes and it sounds sooooo fuckin hot..

BTW was her box full? :tongue:..

EDIT: Every single time I say the name "Alice" I have to whisper to myself "When she's ten feet tall"..I think I might be tired..

Yes, Yes YES!!! She was a CUNT! Ok, you happy now?

SHE WAS A CUNT!!!!

He he--- I'm slithering into your subconscious.

[jonyrotn]

Yes, Yes YES!!! She was a CUNT! SHE WAS A CUNT!!!!

He he--- I'm slithering into your subconscious.
If every woman screamed this durring sex the divorce rate would be nil..

And there is no need to slither, you're firmly entrenched as it is:wub: but you're gonna need a sherpa guide and a team of yaks to get out..
Good luck with that..:wink:

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

If every woman screamed this durring sex the divorce rate would be nil..

And there is no need to slither, you're firmly entrenched as it is:wub: but you're gonna need a sherpa guide and a team of yaks to get out..
Good luck with that..:wink:


Yeah, it's pretty creepy in here. It's like that scene in 8mm when he first went to the underground porn place looking for the snuff film. But there's no bouncer.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

No one had any bad interviews? Hard to believe with this crew.

[Coach]

I had one..the first words out of the womans mouth: "I don't know why I am even bothering with this interview. I already have two people in mind".
Witholding the urge to call her a cunt, I proceeded as positively as possible..while in the back of my mind thinking I wasted 100 bucks by coming here..well the interview ends after about an hour with her telling me all the while, that she already has someone in mind, and I am just getting more and more pissed..knowing I am wasting my time. Well, I got a call a week later..looks like her top 2 didn't pan out..I laughed at her on the phone.

[JPMNICK]

No one had any bad interviews? Hard to believe with this crew.

we all barely have jobs, bunch of savages around here.

[Brad_Rush]

I had a fairly bad one a few years back. I was applying to a software development job in the area out here in State College. Things were going great to start, I was answering all of their questions perfectly and I had a feeling they liked me. It was one of those all day marathon interviews so this was the last hour when they asked me to go up to the board and write out a program to find every prime number from 1 - 1000000. I get up to the board and completely blank out on what a prime number is. I didn't want to ask any of the interviewers because the software company writes a statistical software package. I start just writing up whatever I can to try and bide for time to remember what a prime number is, then once I do remember I blank on the syntax of what I'm trying to write. End result was I gave up after like ten minutes and wrote up the code once I got home so I could send it to them then.

I didn't get the job.

[DolaMight]

My worst was where the boss said "don't let the door bite cha!" as the door hit my dumb nervous foot attempting to gracefully exit after a soiled interview.

[ahhdurr]

I had just graduated college and was living in my old room in my Mom's house.

I decided I'd go out and get a job. I went to the local Office Max to work in the stock room b/c my degree was a liberal arts peice of shit replete with the usual accompanying lack of effort/internships/etc.

The first place I went to I just filled out the application and was hoping to be run through so I could start putting things on shelves and figuring out my next move. Well the manager I interviewed with thought that I was hot shit b/c of my degree so she sent me down to these two dopes a little further down Route 1 to interview for a manager's position.

I put on a suit the next day and go down there with the first (seemingly) up-to-date resume I could find. That resume didn't quite match the stupid application I'd filled out. And the two assclowns interviewing me first pointed that out then proceeded tag teaming me with interviewing tips. I stopped them by quietly getting up and walking out. They did mention doing company research when interviewing though (I couldn't name how many stores they had)... that was a good point.

I still want to do Ron's thing of walking in with a six pack sometime and cracking one open like I'm right.

[SatCam]

Worst job interview

every interview I have ever been to.........

[nukinfuts]

I guess fortunately I have been offered every job I have interviewed for so I never really had a bad experience. A friend and I had a contest once to see how many interviews we could get out of state where the company would fly you there and put you up for the interview...it's a great way to get a free overnight trip :happy:

[Jujubees2]

About 15 years ago I was interviewing for a different job at the school I was working at. The boss has me come into his office and he satrts asking me questions. No big deal until he pulls out his lunch and proceeds to start eating lunch while he is interviewing me. Oh, and he had potato chips so he would ask a question and as I was answering he would be munching on his chips. At that point I realized that it was probably a courtesy interview.

The other bad part was that the office I was working in handled certain things for new hires so I would get a call from HR to give me the info on the new hires. I found out I didn't get the job when I got a call to prepare materials for another person.

[skyscraper]

I am a pretty good at being interviewed for a job. so my advice to anyone who finds themselves in a downward spiral in a job interview, hit the eject button in your mind and use the rest of the time to gather experience for the next interview. ask questions you might not otherwise have the balls to ask (like, what's the turnover rate here or why did the person I'm replacing leave?) and take control of the interview. if you know you have nothing to lose, get the experience and confidence so the downward spiral won't happen again. I find that the spiral happens when the interviewer smells fear in the interviewee, especially if the interviewer is a cunt to begin with, so with experience and confidence you won't give off the fear scent.

[Servo]

When I was in law school, I got an interview at some firm in midtown... can't even remember which one. They did mainly personal injury work. Real ambulance chasers. I was interviewed by two guys, and they spent much of the interview telling me how gung-ho they were about the work, and how they were looking for someone who "wasn't afraid to roll up their sleeves and get dirty," and all that bullshit.

Then one of the guys asked me, "Do you like personal injury?"

Trying to keep it light, I responded, "Well, not to myself..."

Nothing. Swing and a miss. I got blank stares back. I mean, it wasn't a killer line, but I think it deserved at least a smirk or a chuckle.

Fuck 'em.

(By the way, no disrespect to any PI lawyers here, but these guys were real scumbags.)

[A.J.]

It was a brutal. The last straw was when she asked about my major (Soviet Studies). She asked, "You couldn't get a job in that field?"

I tried to make a joke by saying, "My major became defunct the year I graduated."

I can totally relate to that. :glurps: