Revelations of Youth.

[The Chairman]

In short, these are things that suddenly came upon you one day when you were a kid and you all of a sudden had this Eureka moment which made you understand something that older people took for granted/already knew and which was a sign you were starting to figure the ways of the world out.

Examples:

It blew my mind when one day when I was like 6 I figured out that tartar sauce was pretty much just mayonnaise and relish.

It freaked me out when my parents could always seem to tell the ethnicity of my 3rd. grade classmates by their name. For instance, if I said I got into a fight with David Shapiro at school my mother would say something like “you got into a fight with a nice Jewish boy?” or if I said Vincent Spadafora was coming to my birthday party, they already knew he was Italian. It was like magic to me until I figured this name stuff out later on, like in 4th grade.

Also, I always thought people said “Intensive Purposes” when the actual expression is “Intents and Purposes.” This was like in 10th grade and I STILL hear adults say it wrong!!!

Anyway I have more and can go on but am trying to keep my posts somewhat succinct these days…

The Chairman

[King Hippos Bandaid]

lots of mistakes in my speech were caused by my parents

the 2 biggest ones were

they would call

Sunflower Seeds : Polly Seeds

Aluminum Foil: Silver Foil

I would get into fights because I actually thought Silver Foil was correct


my Parents wouldn't used ethnicity to name children I knew, they would just totaly butcher their names

like Chiecki normally pronounced Kie ekki, they would pronounce it Chi ecchi

quite embarrassing at times

[TheMojoPin]

When I was little, my mom would cover my eyes during what she would consider scenes that were "too violent" in films, so until I was about 10, I would actually get up and leave when those scenes would come on, assuming that my head would explode from the horror.

Thanks, Mom.

[MONICA5579]

when i was little my grandfather told me that these things http://www.apwa.net/Images/Publications/Reporter/Salt%20Dome.JPG

we where they put the whales. they are on the sides of highways in illinois and i believed him for such a long time until.... i was a freshman in high school and told my friends that whales were in there and i was laughed at becuase this is a salt dome.

i still giggle when i think about it. :lol:

i should have known he was joking because he also told me that gorillas lived in the forest preserves. :huh:

[The Chairman]

When I was little, my mom would cover my eyes during what she would consider scenes that were "too violent" in films, so until I was about 10, I would actually get up and leave when those scenes would come on, assuming that my head would explode from the horror.

My dad did the same thing. I was not allowed to watch SWAT or Starsky and Hutch because of the violence (if he knew I was watching them).

The upside was my dad, who is European and born and raised in Venice, Italy, had no problem with nudity. When we visited one of my uncle's (American side of the family) he always had a collection of Playboys around his house. My father had no problem with me reading them when I was like 9 or 10 years old.

And when my dad caught me pressing down the "3" and the "7" on the old time cable box remote so I could see snippets of the Playboy Channel at home (it really worked) he had no problem. Not like he would want me to see hardcore porn or anything. It's a European thing...

I guess that's why the only great shootings I'm expert on now is money shots...

The Chairman

[A.J.]

And when my dad caught me pressing down the "3" and the "7" on the old time cable box remote so I could see snippets of the Playboy Channel at home (it really worked) he had no problem.

Dammit! I wish I knew that back then!

[FUNKMAN]

as best I could remember between the ages of 5 & 8

an older kid around the corner named George told me that men could have babies and they were called " jelly babies ". i believed him and attempted to pass this info on to some of my other friends. it wasn't too long after that and people thinking i was looloo that I gave up on believing the idea

somewhere either at my catholic grammar school or my protetstant church I was told the devil was behind you and god was in front of you. for a period of time you could catch me walking down the street throwing elbows and punches behind me thinking I would be hitting the devil in the face. i actually got afraid sometimes thinking he would hit me back and I would duck after swinging. can't say exactly when I gave up on that one and why

[drjoek]

Old

Paul Simon


The first time I heard "Peggy Sue"
I was 12 years old
Russians up in rocket ships
And the war was cold
Now many wars have come and gone
Genocide still goes on
Buddy Holly still goes on
But his catalog was sold

First time I smoked
Guess what - paranoid
First time I heard "satisfaction"
I was young and unemployed
Down the decades every year
Summer leaves and my birthday’s here
And all my friends stand up and cheer
And say man you’re old
Getting old
Old
Getting old

We celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas day
And Buddah found nirvana along the lotus way
About 1,500 years ago the messenger mohammed spoke
And his wisdome like a river flowed
Through hills of gold
Wisdome is old
The koran is old
The bible’s
Greatest story ever told

Disagreements?
Work ’em out

The human race walked the earth for 2.7 million
And we estimate the universe at 13-14 billion
When all these numbers tumble into your imagination
Consider that the lord was there before creation
God is old
We’re not old
God is old
He made the mold

Take your clothes off
Adam and eve

[donnie_darko]

“Intents and Purposes.”

nobody ever has any reason to use this phrase.

[mrgreen]

Seeing a teacher off school grounds. The revelation that they were human beings who had an existence outside of the classrooms. It really freaked me out.

[The Chairman]

Seeing a teacher off school grounds. The revelation that they were human beings who had an existence outside of the classrooms. It really freaked me out.

Perfect. I had a teacher in grade school who would be out sick a lot and we usually had a substitute on Mondays or Fridays. He was totally cool, but often seemed really tired and had bloodshot eyes.

He was arrested for buying crack when I got to high school.

The Chairman

[The Chairman]

Here's another example:

Why NOW when I watch old repeats of Hollywood Squares or Match Game '73 on the Game Show Network is it so obvious that Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly were "confirmed bachelors" but when I was a kid staying home from school sick and watching the shows I just thought they were kind of weird eccentric types.

Hell, I remember watching the Village People when I was a kid and the whole gay thing just went right over my head.

The Chairman

[FUNKMAN]

Seeing a teacher off school grounds. The revelation that they were human beings who had an existence outside of the classrooms. It really freaked me out.

Perfect. I had a teacher in grade school who would be out sick a lot and we usually had a substitute on Mondays or Fridays. He was totally cool, but often seemed really tired and had bloodshot eyes.

He was arrested for buying crack when I got to high school.

The Chairman

in 2nd Grade we had a lay teacher Ms Piazza. one day I got picked to carry her bag home after-school. she lived a block and a half from school and I remember walking together and just taking it up the stoop and into the hallway where I handed it off to her. she was one of my nicest teachers.

as a freshman my Spanish teacher was a friend of my Mom and this teacher's brothers were friends with my older brothers. luckily 'because I was a poor student in Spanish' but she passed me with a 70 because she knew my Mom.

this teacher was set to be married and the night before the wedding her fiance got F'd up down on the Pavonia Ave piers in Jersey City and the friends he was with couldn't find him. They found him the next day drowned under a barge. her younger brother who went into the navy with my older brother wound up overdosing with his friends in an apt in uptown jersey city, and the friends left him dead for two day till the EMT was called and another friend we grew up with was one of the EMT guys

[Drunky McBetidont]

as best I could remember between the ages of 5 & 8

an older kid around the corner named George told me that men could have babies and they were called " jelly babies ". i believed him and attempted to pass this info on to some of my other friends. it wasn't too long after that and people thinking i was looloo that I gave up on believing the idea

somewhere either at my catholic grammar school or my protetstant church I was told the devil was behind you and god was in front of you. for a period of time you could catch me walking down the street throwing elbows and punches behind me thinking I would be hitting the devil in the face. i actually got afraid sometimes thinking he would hit me back and I would duck after swinging. can't say exactly when I gave up on that one and why

jelly babies:clap::clap::clap::laugh:


we used to call the salt buildings "boobs" because i grew up in buffalo and they were usually in pairs.

[WhistlePig]

I think I was 7 or 8 or so (based on the furniture in my memory) but I remember figuring out we were all going to die at some point. I was sobbing on the couch with my parents trying to comfort me, telling them I didn't want them to die.

[mrgreen]

Age 7 or 8: Learning, much to my chagrin, that Walter Cronkite is a news anchor. Not the president of the United States.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

On the way back from my Aunt's house for Christmas I was sitting in the back seat of the car when I put up 8 fingers (I was 8 at the time) and I realized that although that had been my entire life it really wasn't that long to be on earth.

Then a year later my mom died. She was close to 50 but even then I knew that wasn't a long time either.

[Mike Teacher]

The second hand.

Couldn't figure out why they called it the second hand, when clearly it was a third hand, after the hour and minute hand. Third, not second, dammit.

=

NO LITTERING
$500 FINE

I swear on everything thats holy I thought the sign meant it was 'fine' if you wanted to litter as long as you were willing to pay the money.

=

Intercourse

What this had to do with sex? beats me but it sure was a big strange word when I first heard it. And also learning it's a town in Pa.

=

The night I first watched 'Brian's Song' I was so upset I pleaded with my Mom asking if there was something we could do. Holy shit this is embarassing even remembering. She explained it was TV and he was dead already, something, beats me, I was too busy sobbing and pleading for some way to save James Caan.

[sailor]

NO LITTERING
$500 FINE

I swear on everything thats holy I thought the sign meant it was 'fine' if you wanted to litter as long as you were willing to pay the money.

on the nj turnpike, there are signs saying "slow down - get ticket". i thought that was saying if you went below a minimum speed, you were ticketed.

[Mike Teacher]

on the nj turnpike, there are signs saying "slow down - get ticket". i thought that was saying if you went below a minimum speed, you were ticketed.

Oh yeah that one, that confused me, but not as bad as the 'DO NOT PASS' sign. I thought it referred to the sign, not other cars.

[ToLEEdo]

My fiancee used to think that "No Outlet" road signs meant that it was illegal go down the street unless you lived there.

Also, when I realized girls didn't pee out of their butts.

[RhinoinMN]

I think that I was about 5 and my dad and I were on our way to go trout fishing. I was in the truck and contorting my fingers into different positions i.e the Vulcan sign. Once I acheived it I was proud and showed my dad. He said something like "great". Then I isolated my middle finger and held it there. I had never seen anybody use their middle finger for the "fuck you" purpose before. So, I said "Dad, look." Next, I was seeing stars. He smacked the fuck out of me and told me to never do that again. I was completely confused and scared. A few years later in grade school I learned what it was about and it all made sense.


I still feel like randomly smacking him for no good reason.

[MobCounty]

I can remember listening to the radio as a kid and hearing.. "we're having a sale on 24 inch COLOR TV's for only TWO Ninety nine..".

...goddamn, if only I could talk my parents to drive me to the far off land where TV's are only a weeks allowance.

[sailor]

Oh yeah that one, that confused me, but not as bad as the 'DO NOT PASS' sign. I thought it referred to the sign, not other cars.

hahaha fuckin' hilarious!

[ADF]

When I was a kid, playing Advanced Dungeons & Dragons with my buddies, we would say "mee-lee." It was only years later that I learned the correct pronunciation.

[JerseyRich]

This thread makes me feel young again!


Weeeee!

http://z.about.com/d/huntsville/1/0/M/z/3/07BabyPhilipAndrew.jpg

[The Chairman]

As a child, I remember kissing the TV screen and thinking the woman/girl would be aware I was kissing her.

Regrettably, my mother caught me once and warned me against sitting too close to the screen, as I might go blind.

Later, I thought changing channels might influence the result of something I was watching live on TV, like a football game.

Eventually, I came to realize that my thoughts could not influence events, i.e. I was exhibiting "magical thinking."

A regular recipient of my childhood TV kisses:

http://www.wtv-zone.com/dpjohnson/gingergrant/tinalouise-wheel.jpg



The Chairman

[MobCounty]

When I was a kid, playing Advanced Dungeons & Dragons with my buddies, we would say "mee-lee." It was only years later that I learned the correct pronunciation.

..wait.. uh oh

[ADF]

..wait.. uh oh

"Uh oh" what? I hope you're not trying to turn out four teenage boys playing AD&D in a basement talking about various aspects of melee into some sorta gay thing.


http://www.theherofactory.com/DMscreen5.jpg

[cougarjake13]

never played any form of d & d