New comedy bit but I need help

[CYYYFYYY]

I have been told I bash myself too much in my act. I kinda disagree but I have a few new ideas... After bashing how I can;t get a date and what not I start by saying I am telling you all the secrets guys have. Of course I make it funny. Here are some of my ideas...


1) Guys don;t wash there hands after the bathroom
2) A guy cannot smell like perfume from just standing near a female
3) If a guy who is in good shape is wears a shirt when he is having sex means he has another GF and just wants no marks left on him

It can be cheating stuff, just disgusting stuff. All is good. let the ideas FLOW

[joethebartender]

This may be considered an act of treason to your (our) gender.

If a guy has his ez pass in the little foil bag, that doesn't let it be scanned, instead of on the windshield...don't ask where he was.

"That glittler must have gotten on my face from the Valentine's cards that I was looking at for you..."

"I just felt like showering at night this time...I have to be at work very early."

"I didn't know I was cumming...it just happened. Sorry. I would never. In your mouth? It was an accident."

"they were out of 10's and 5's at 7eleven. I know...it is a lot of singles. Hmmm."


(PS- I always wash my hands)