Jelly Is For Fags

[Gvac]

Ditto for jam.

Real men eat preserves, whether with peanut butter or on a stale, day old bagel.

Discuss.

[BoondockSaint]

You just can't cook it right.

[Badinia]

Har, I was in Chinatown in San Francisco recently and saw a graffiti tag that read "Jelly is GAY", but did not have time to take a touristy photo.

Having just had a breakfast of crusty bread with cherry jam, you're crazy. Jam and jelly are great pleasures of life.

[sailor]

what of marmalade (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=63755)?

[ToddEVF]

If Jelly is for Fags, then does God hate Jelly?

[Gvac]

Maybe you didn't read my first post carefully Badinia...this is a topic for men.

Whatever you crazy chicks wanna do is fine by me.

And I can't believe the Chinese community in San Fran is in agreement with me on this. I like the cut of their jib.

[Gvac]

If Jelly is for Fags, then does God hate Jelly?

With the burning passion of a thousand red hot suns, Todd.

You've been warned.

[Bossanova]

All sugary fruit glazes are fucking gross and GAY

[King Hippos Bandaid]

jelly is gay, I like fresh preserves from those country places


if you purchase Jelly, it might as well be KY Jelly for your anus

[sailor]

With the burning passion of a thousand red hot suns, Todd.

You've been warned.

that's pretty insignificant hatred compared to all of god's creation. sounds to me like he's ambivalent on the matter.

[weekapaugjz]

I disagree, sir. Grape jelly is one of my favorite things in life. Be it on some toast, a bagel, or an English muffin even. I love grape jelly.

I'm going to go have a piece of toast with grape jelly right now.

[eeroomnhoj]

Ditto for jam.

Real men eat preserves, whether with peanut butter or on a stale, day old bagel.

Discuss.


Then gay I shall be.
http://re3.mm-a1.yimg.com/image/1927254427

Slap my ass and call me charlie

[Bossanova]

I disagree, sir. Grape jelly is one of my favorite things in life. Be it on some toast, a bagel, or an English muffin even. I love grape jelly.

I'm going to go have a piece of toast with grape jelly right now.

Its like I don't even know you anymore

[epo]

Then gay I shall be.
http://re3.mm-a1.yimg.com/image/1927254427

Slap my ass and call me charlie

I smell a mod quote.

[donnie_darko]

real men don't sit online debating the worth of jelly/jam/preserves.


i dare to say a "real man" couldn't discern the difference.


therefore you sir, are teh ghey.

[eeroomnhoj]

jelly is gay, I like fresh preserves from those country places

Do you also buy scented candles at those country places?

if you purchase Jelly, it might as well be KY Jelly for your anus


http://re3.mm-a1.yimg.com/image/1927254427

[ToddEVF]

that's pretty insignificant hatred compared to all of god's creation. sounds to me like he's ambivalent on the matter.

Well being that "God Hates [Fags, Shrimp, America, Mexico, Canada, Figs, etc.]" i was wondering if I would end up seeing Shirley Phelps Roper and the WBC protesting in supermarkets. Guess I'll have to clearly show them I am holding a jar of preserves.

[weekapaugjz]

I just finished two slices of said toast. Delicious.

[Gvac]

I just finished two slices of said toast. Delicious.

Enjoy an eternity of gnashing your teeth in the fiery depths of Hell then.

Hope that toast and jelly was worth it.

[Bossanova]

Enjoy an eternity of gnashing your teeth in the fiery depths of Hell then.

Hope that toast and jelly was worth it.

HAHAHA! Funniest avatar ever

[TheMojoPin]

Gvac just likes the word "preserves" since at his age his guts desperately need all the preserving they can get.

[ToddEVF]

real men don't sit online debating the worth of jelly/jam/preserves.


i dare to say a "real man" couldn't discern the difference.


therefore you sir, are teh ghey.

real men pound down drinks and fuck chicks right? They don't have time to sit around a computer on a sunday and post on a message board. And we are not really debating. If we were it would be point counterpoint with jelly vs. preserves.

what of marmalade?

ahh. . . good one. here try this on for size.


Jelly is a clear, bright product. It is generally made by cooking fruit juice and sugar with pectin as a jelling agent and lemon juice as an acid to maintain a consistent texture. Jelly is firm and will hold its shape (it “shakes”). Generally, jelly contains no pieces of fruit, although specialty jellies, like pepper jelly, may include pieces of jalapeño or other pepper.

Jam is made from crushed or chopped fruit cooked with sugar, and often pectin and lemon juice. Jam can be a purée of fruit or have a soft pulp, but it does not contain chunks of fruit.

Preserves are fruit cooked with sugar to the point where large chunks of fruit or whole fruit, such as berries, are suspended in a syrup base. The texture of preserves is not smooth like jelly or jam.

Marmalade is a soft jelly, often citrus-based, that includes both the flesh and peel of the fruit suspended throughout the jelly base. The bitterness of the peel offsets the sweetness of the jelly.

Conserve is a mixture of more than one fruit, often with added nuts and raisins, that is cooked until it becomes thick. It is used as a spread for breads, pastries and meats, and in the latter use is closest to chutney.

Chutney is a spiced condiment of Indian origin (chatni is the Hindi word for strongly spiced) made of fruit or vegetables. It is typically served as an accompaniment to food, not as a spread. The spice level can range from mild to hot, and the consistency from a fine relish to a preserve or conserve. Fruit chutney consists of chopped fruit, vinegar, spices and sugar cooked into a chunky sweet-tart-spicy mix: according to one explanation, it “blurs the Western distinction between preserves and pickles.”

Fruit Butter, such as apple butter or prune butter, is fruit purée or pulp combined with sugar, lemon juice and spices, slowly cooked down to a smooth consistency. The “butter” refers to its spreadability: there is no actual butter in the product.

Fruit Curd is a creamy spread made with sugar, eggs and butter, generally flavored with citrus juice and zest.

Fruit Spread is generally a reduced-calorie product made with fruit juice concentrate and low-calorie sweeteners replacing all or part of the sugar.

[Great Tiger's Turban]

Faggot Americans with their fruity toppings. Only real men stay away from this shit.

[weekapaugjz]

Enjoy an eternity of gnashing your teeth in the fiery depths of Hell then.

Hope that toast and jelly was worth it.

Then ill be there next to you as you spin in gaiety with a magical turban.

[EddieMoscone]

I pledge allegiance to preserves only sweetened with real fruit juices...

[epo]

I've just added jelly & jam to my grocery list. Now I'm off to find those delicious spreads.

[Gvac]

I've just added jelly & jam to my grocery list. Now I'm off to find those delicious spreads.

Figures.

[mikeyboy]

Great. Where am I supposed to find preserve donuts.

Besides, everybody knows that the only gay donuts are those pink frosted ones and French crullers.

[sailor]

Well being that "God Hates [Fags, Shrimp, America, Mexico, Canada, Figs, etc.]" i was wondering if I would end up seeing Shirley Phelps Roper and the WBC protesting in supermarkets. Guess I'll have to clearly show them I am holding a jar of preserves.

if it's held in your anus, i think it's a wash.

Fruit Butter, such as apple butter or prune butter, is fruit purée or pulp combined with sugar, lemon juice and spices, slowly cooked down to a smooth consistency. The “butter” refers to its spreadability: there is no actual butter in the product.

i almost forgot how much i love apple butter.

and for the record, grape is the worst of the jellies.

[Marc with a c]

east side must be double gay then.

[sailor]

Great. Where am I supposed to find preserve donuts.

Besides, everybody knows that the only gay donuts are those pink frosted ones and French crullers.

they don't sell those here:

http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/pictures/funny-straight-donut.jpg

[mikeyboy]

east side must be double gay then.

:lol:

[A.J.]

Great. Where am I supposed to find preserve donuts

They'd better not be in your foot locker.

http://www.ikilledamaninreno.com/content/binary/HartmanFMJ.jpg

[DiabloSammich]

This is the most ridiculous thread started by anyone in a long time.

Jelly is great, and is by no means gay. There's nothing better than a little grape jelly on some toast, bagel, or a man's cock as he slide it into your mou....


Wait a minute, what are we talking about?

[DarkHippie]

Maybe you hoity toity rich folk can eat your fancy preserves, but the good old american working man eats jelly. You will never find a peanut butter and preserves sandwich in a real man's lunch box.

Preserves eaters are the fags!! quit trying to mask your gayness by accusing another!! J'accuse!!

[epo]

Figures.

Result: Grape Jelly & Apple Butter.

Face!

[Marc with a c]

Preserves eaters are the fags!! quit trying to mask your gayness by accusing another!! J'accuse!!

good point sweaty.

whoever denied it supplied it.

[DiabloSammich]

Result: Grape Jelly & Apple Butter.

Face!




Apple butter is for old women and the Amish.

I'll go start a thread stating as much.

[Bob Impact]

Signed/ Jelly is for queers.

[epo]

Apple butter is for old women and the Amish.

I'll go start a thread stating as much.

Apple butter is simply delicious.

You are such an angry person. Maybe I suggest some jam bands for you...perhaps some Hawkwind?

[A.J.]

You'd better hope that the doctor uses jelly during your next prostate exam!

[Gvac]

You'd better hope that the doctor uses jelly during your next prostate exam!

Exactly A.J!

You never heard of KY preserves, did you?

I rest my case.

[Fallon]

Maybe you didn't read my first post carefully Badinia...this is a topic for men.

Whatever you crazy chicks wanna do is fine by me.

And I can't believe the Gay community in San Fran is in agreement with me on this. I like the cut of their cocks.

Queer.

[Gvac]

Queer.

Stop judging me.

[DarkHippie]

I bet Gvac is anti-Wonder Bread too. And you call yourself an american . . .

[sailor]

I bet Gvac is anti-Wonder Bread too. And you call yourself an american . . .

maybe gay was the wrong word, but wonder bread blows. grow up kids.

[Gvac]

I honestly find any pre-packaged bread to taste like shit. I taste the plastic bag more than anything else.

If I want bread, I'll head to the bakery and get something fresh baked, not loaded with chemicals, preservatives, and artificial flavoring and coloring.

[Bossanova]

add sliced bread to the list for which fags eat

[DarkHippie]

I honestly find any pre-packaged bread to taste like shit. I taste the plastic bag more than anything else.

If I want bread, I'll head to the bakery and get something fresh baked, not loaded with chemicals, preservatives, and artificial flavoring and coloring.

You are a fancy, fancy man

[Gvac]

You are a fancy, fancy man

Indubitably.

[Bossanova]

You are a fancy, fancy man

I can account for that. He actually brought me Italian pastries to watch football. Like a gentleman would

[DarkHippie]

Indubitably.

ooooh look at the fannnnncy man, using the big words

[PhishHead]

I can account for that. He actually brought me Italian pastries to watch football. Like a gentleman would

Cannolis filled with jizz?

[Death Metal Moe]

Lookie what I found floating around the interwebz.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/njdmmoe/GVACJelly.jpg

[Bossanova]

Cannolis filled with jizz?

Do you spy on me

[PhishHead]

Do you spy on me

sometimes when I am bored

[Bossanova]

sometimes when I am bored

haha, no worries. I was just curious, maybe I will dress sexier now

[PhishHead]

haha, no worries. I was just curious, maybe I will dress sexier now

woohoo!

Yea patchwork pants and hoodies get boring after awhile.

[Bossanova]

woohoo!

Yea patchwork pants and hoodies get boring after awhile.

haha, sorry. You could have just pm'd me

[Whiskeyportal]

and honey? thats just processed flower jizz. doesn't get any gayer than flower jizz if you ask me.

[MadMatt]

What's with all you rich bastards talking crap about jelly? Some of us can't afford those fancy "preserves" or Polaner All Fruit or whatever.

Thank your lucky stars you can afford luxuries like fancy bread spreads when the rest of us are stuck with jelly, generic peanut butter, and government cheese. :down:









:happy:
Seriously, there isn't anything wrong with jelly.

[Gvac]

And I thought you were "one of us" MadMatt.

For shame.

[Freakshow]

I have a fridge full of preserves right now. Made by Trappist monks (is there anything Trappist monks can't do?).

[Gvac]

Pepperjack is now officially "in."

[sailor]

I have a fridge full of preserves right now. Made by Trappist monks (is there anything Trappist monks can't do?).

fuck worth a damn

[BoondockSaint]

www.preservesareforfags.com (http://www.mafialife.com)

[Gvac]

Fucking Boondock Has Been Killing Me Lately!!!

[Gvac]

So...did any of you fags eat that foul concoction today?

[lleeder]

So...did any of you fags eat that foul concoction today?

No I just squirted it my eye and said, "You like that don't you, you fag".

[Gvac]

I hear mikeyboy and Hottub love jelly.

[Great Tiger's Turban]

I hear mikeyboy and Hottub love jelly.

That is because they are American faggots

[Marc with a c]

I hear mikeyboy and Hottub love jelly.

nope
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[Gvac]

I just had a toasted bagel with peach preserves.

Fucking delicious.

Screw you fags and your grape jelly.

Buncha ham n eggers.

[sr71blackbird]

n eggers.

racist

[sailor]

not a fan of peaches. raspberry preserves are where it's at. that and lingonberry preserves from ikea.

[Hottub]

I'm all about the strawberry preserves. On some lightly toasted Trader Joe's whole wheat.

[FANDICK]

I grew up eating Welch's grape jelly with peanut butter.

I guess I grew up gay.

See? It's a decision.

:smoke:

[Gvac]

I grew up eating Welch's grape jelly with peanut butter.

I guess I grew up gay.

See? It's a decision.

:smoke:

It explains a lot.

Especially the "love me daddy" rage.

[Bossanova]

It explains a lot.

Especially the "love me daddy" rage.

HAHAHA!!!



I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

[Gvac]

HAHAHA!!!



I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

A man's man. :wub:

[Bossanova]

A man's man. :wub:

OOOHH!!!:wub:

[sailor]

why don't you jelly lovers get a room?

[Hottub]

HAHAHA!!!



I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

A candidate for bypass surgury?

[A.J.]

I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

A lucky bastard.

[epo]

HAHAHA!!!

I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

A future bypass patient.

You'll See!

[Bossanova]

A future bypass patient.

You'll See!

I had a beer with as well

[Gvac]

Boss, with your raging alcoholism, horrendous eating habits, and your insistence on smoking weed like they're going to stop growing it tomorrow you have officially been banned for life from the Health and Fitness Forum.

Congratulations!

[Bossanova]

Boss, with your raging alcoholism, horrendous eating habits, and your insistence on smoking weed like they're going to stop growing it tomorrow you have officially been banned for life from the Health and Fitness Forum.

Congratulations!

HAHA, but I run sometimes

[Gvac]

HAHA, but I run sometimes

Yeah, but only when the liquor store is about to close.

[epo]

I had a beer with as well

Boss, can you do me a favor? Right now I'm really hungover and fucking Phishy is typing so loud that it's killing me.

For the love of God, please stop him.

[Bossanova]

Boss, can you do me a favor? Right now I'm really hungover and fucking Phishy is typing so loud that it's killing me.

For the love of God, please stop him.

HAHA!

[epo]

HAHA!

All caps? Seriously keep the noise down while I down these aspirin.

[ralphbxny]

We all knew I was gay!!

[FANDICK]

It explains a lot.

Especially the "love me daddy" rage.

But in my case, it IS about my real daddy.

:drunk:

[FANDICK]

HAHAHA!!!



I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

HAHAHA!!!

An idiot as usual?

:wink:

[sailor]

I had a left over cheeseteak for breakfast. What does that make me?

a quitter. what's this "left over" nonsense?

[scottinnj]

Ditto for jam.

Real men eat preserves, whether with peanut butter or on a stale, day old bagel.

Discuss.

Real Men don't put fruit on bread at all. AT ALL!!!

Butter, Peanut Butter or Cream Cheese. THAT's ALL!!

[Marc with a c]

i had some sort of wild blueberry jelly the other day on an english muffin and i enjoyed it

[grlNIN]

I like jelly on english muffins and toast with some butter.

Very rarely do i like jelly with my PB sandwich.

[Gvac]

I'm going out for Easter brunch with the family in a few minutes. If they serve jelly instead of preserves at this place I'll be overturning tables like Jesus in the temple.

Just sayin'.

[TheMojoPin]

Preserves and whatnots are for lonely old women.

[Gvac]

Preserves and whatnots are for lonely old women.

Don't judge me!

[eeroomnhoj]

Just had some plain old grape jelly today, ummm good.

[Gvac]

Check out this fuckin' deal - a 2 lb. jar of Strawberry Preserves for only $2.99!

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c34/Gvac/Polaner.jpg

Life is good.

[GreatAmericanZero]

Check out this fuckin' deal - a 2 lb. jar of Strawberry Preserves for only $2.99!

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c34/Gvac/Polaner.jpg

Life is good.

i like to buy smaller jars cuz i like to get a new flavor everytime. I need to keep changing shit up

[Gvac]

Oh I picked up red raspberry (WITH seeds, thank you very much) and apricot too, but in the smaller sizes. They were the same price as that gigantic strawberry beauty.

Looks like I may have to make my world famous peanut butter and preserves pasta this weekend.

[weekapaugjz]

i still stand behind welch's grape jelly for my peanut butter and jelly sandwichs

http://www.stokestrategy.com/images/welches.gif

[GreatAmericanZero]

raspberry went from my least favorite flavor as a child to my very favorite flavor as an adult.


its weird how things like that happen

[Gvac]

i still stand behind welch's grape jelly for my peanut butter and jelly sandwichs

http://www.stokestrategy.com/images/welches.gif

How....common.

I suppose you wear Levis too?

Probably even use Gulden's mustard.

I've got to find a better class of people to hang out with.

[Gvac]

raspberry went from my least favorite flavor as a child to my very favorite flavor as an adult.


its weird how things like that happen

Right? When I was a kid I despised the smell of cigarettes and the taste of scotch. Now I can't get enough of 'em!

[weekapaugjz]

How....common.

I suppose you wear Levis too?

Probably even use Gulden's mustard.

I've got to find a better class of people to hang out with.

i like to buy welch's because they have a factory in a town very close to my hometown.

and i buy a local horseradish mustard, not that guldens crap.

you don't know me.







and it's nice to see you around these parts again. :smoke:

[PapaBear]

Jam.





Jam.






JAM, DAMMIT!!!

[weekapaugjz]

Right? When I was a kid I despised the smell of cigarettes and the taste of scotch. Now I can't get enough of 'em!

spoken like a true gentleman.

[Gvac]

i like to buy welch's because they have a factory in a town very close to my hometown.

and i buy a local horseradish mustard, not that guldens crap.

you don't know me.







and it's nice to see you around these parts again. :smoke:

:wub:

Even though I don't agree with your jelly eating lifestyle, I still love you.

[Chip196]

I've been known to make my own Jelly ... where do you stand on it when it's homeade?

Red Current Jelly (my fathers recipe) is INSANELY good.

[Marc with a c]

I've been known to make my own Jelly ... where do you stand on it when it's homeade?

Red Current Jelly (my fathers recipe) is INSANELY good.

it sounds vile

[Friday]

I've been known to make my own Jelly ... where do you stand on it when it's homeade?

Red Current Jelly (my fathers recipe) is INSANELY good.

homemade is the only way to go. no fake ingredients or preservatives... even gvac's precious preserves are probably loaded with sugar.

i would taste your red currant any day, Chipper.

[TheMojoPin]

Homemade everything sucks if I have to make it myself. I live in a city in 2008. I'm a fast-paced go-getter with no time for dilly-dallying.

[Marc with a c]

Homemade everything sucks if I have to make it myself. I live in a city in 2008. I'm a fast-paced go-getter with no time for dilly-dallying.

fuckin a you are

Posts: 36,379

[Gvac]

I've been known to make my own Jelly ... where do you stand on it when it's homeade?

Red Current Jelly (my fathers recipe) is INSANELY good.

Damn you for presenting me with such a difficult moral conundrum!

I suppose the only fair way to answer this is to sample said Jelly...

[Friday]

fuckin a you are

Posts: 36,379

:lol:

[Chip196]

homemade is the only way to go. no fake ingredients or preservatives... even gvac's precious preserves are probably loaded with sugar.

i would taste your red currant any day, Chipper.


Damn you for presenting me with such a difficult moral conundrum!

I suppose the only fair way to answer this is to sample said Jelly...

Next time we make it, you're both on.

And if you are going to make me think about invisibility, then I will make you question your hatred for Jelly!!!

[Gvac]

Next time we make it, you're both on.

And if you are going to make me think about invisibility, then I will make you question your hatred for Jelly!!!

Fair enough.

Perhaps we can meditate before sampling this homemade delight of yours.

[TheMojoPin]

fuckin a you are

Posts: 36,379

Those are all executive posts.

[Chip196]

Fair enough.

Perhaps we can meditate before sampling this homemade delight of yours.

Sounds like the beginning steps towards enlightenment.

Oh ... there must be English Muffins ... they're the prefered canvas for the Jelly.

[Gvac]

Sounds like the beginning steps towards enlightenment.

Oh ... there must be English Muffins ... they're the prefered canvas for the Jelly.

I'd expect nothing less.

[GregoryJoseph]

I just had some red raspberry preserves on a heated up tortilla.

Amazing.

[Chigworthy]

I just had some red raspberry preserves on a heated up tortilla.

Amazing.

Preserves are for fags.

[GregoryJoseph]

Preserves are for fags.

I guess you didn't read the initial post in this thread.

You've got it all wrong.

[midwestjeff]

Preserves on a tortilla.

A tortilla.

What the fucking fuck?

[GregoryJoseph]

Preserves on a tortilla.

A tortilla.

What the fucking fuck?

Don't knock it till you try it.

I also suggest trying peanut butter and preserves in pasta.

You'll love it.

[IamFogHat]

Why does anyone use jelly? It's so hard to spread. You get the same taste with jam and it's easily spreadable.

[RhinoinMN]

I just had some red raspberry preserves on a heated up tortilla.

Amazing.

raspberry habanero jam is divine.

[midwestjeff]

Don't knock it till you try it.

I also suggest trying peanut butter and preserves in pasta.

You'll love it.

I'll take your word for it. Weirdo.

Why does anyone use jelly?

I use vaseline.

[Chigworthy]

I guess you didn't read the initial post in this thread.

You've got it all wrong.

Dammit. I just wanted to fit in for once.

[disneyspy]

I use vaseline.

petrolium jelly is for fags


it helps me slip it in easier into their gay buttholes

[disneyspy]

petrolium jelly is for fags


it helps me slip it in easier into their gay buttholes

shit i thought i was logged in as sue bender

[Chigworthy]

petrolium jelly is for fags


it helps me slip it in easier into their gay buttholes

If the fag has a straight butthole, will you still slip it in?

[Ritalin]

Preserves are for fags.

no, preserves are for deer.

[disneyspy]

If the fag has a straight butthole, will you still slip it in?

well i have a upwardly curved unit so,that butthole wont be straight long

[Doctor Z]

I propose a conundrum:

Polaner All Fruit... Faggy? Or Manly?

[Chigworthy]

I propose a conundrum:

Polaner All Fruit... Faggy? Or Manly?

It's called All Fruit. What do you think?