Lifestyle Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

[grlNIN]

Over the past couple of months i have been semi-struggling with some changes that i have knowingly or subconsciously made in my life.

I had mentioned in another thread how i stopped hanging out with an old friend due to her smoking and drinking and at the time this led me to wonder if i should even bother with drinking at all anymore.

Over the past year+ i have quit smoking and stopped drinking aside from having win while at home on a CRAZY Friday or Saturday night with my boyfriend watching movies.

And i enjoy this.

I don't know if it's because i've settled down or matured or grown beyond the partying in people's basements and smoking bowls while driving around in cars. Not that that was my forte to begin with but it is the farthest thing from appealing now and so when i come across friends who are participatory in these habits i usually cut them off.

Why i'm posting this here is because it pertains the whole "Health" aspect of the forum, i feel like the steps i've made have been to better myself as a person and better my health both mentally and physically.

As it were i am now down to like maybe 4 friends, one that i keep in touch with mainly because i've known her my whole life and she is still very much into drugs. I feel like i need to check in on her every now and then to make sure she's all right but what would happen if i didn't? Why do people want to live like this?

Anyone have the same type of experiences or turn around at a certain age?

[Thebazile78]

I usually stop hanging out with people because I've outgrown them.

This happened in high school, with someone I'd known since 4th grade. . .who hadn't changed one iota since 4th grade. Plus, she wasn't very nice.

In college, I did all the things I was terrified of doing while living under my dad's roof. Some experiences I enjoyed, others I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but I survived them and can look back & laugh at the stupid things I used to do. Like getting drunk in a frathouse basement with my friends and coworkers during Senior Week.

I no longer feel the need to get so drunk I can barely speak or, even worse, get sick. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I would rather have a hole in my head than throw up. I only got sick twice in college. Both times, I didn't care how much I'd had or what I was doing. The first time, I showed up two days later with a pair of rubber gloves and disinfectant so I could clean up the mess I'd made in my friend's apartment. The second time, I had to puke in the men's bathroom in my dorm. Neither time was fun.

So I outgrew it.

I broke up with the last guy I was seeing because of his unhealthy habits - smoking, drinking, sparking up, etc. The breaking point came when I overheard him talking to one of his buddies about doing some sort of drug (I don't know if it was blow or what) and started crying. When he came back to the bedroom, I confronted him about it and told him I couldn't keep seeing him if he was going to do drugs/drink heavily/smoke, etc. It was too late to leave that night by public transit (I had no car, lived in New Brunswick and he was in Jersey City) but I left early in the morning and didn't look back. I have no regrets.

It's not unusual or abnormal in the least. Your point of view changes, you value certain things a lot more and, gradually, the friend you used to think was the greatest is someone you don't want to hang out with anymore.

[EffMeBoobs]

You really do outgrow the whole cool drinking and smoking thing. Thankfully I never developed a strong habit in either. Even today when we go out, I rarely drink. I don't "need" a drink and when I do have a drink it's usually one and like a glass of wine. I have 2 really close friends and they aren't into it either, so that's a plus.

[SouthSideJohnny]

It's normal to evolve. Once I started dating my current wife, I phased out of the bar / party scene and hanging out with drinking buddies. One or two of them are still doing the same things seven years later. I look at them now and can't figure out how they can still do it. I'm not judging them - It works for them, so that's all that counts. I don't regret that phase of my life at all, and I was happy with it at the time, I just can't envision going back to it.

[FUNKMAN]

when I was around 16 i decided to stop smoking weed mainly due to my pops getting on my case all the time for coming home with bloodshot eyes. prior to that a couple buddies and I just lived/stole/and worked to buy and smoke weed. i wound up not hanging out with my buddies much anymore. it hit me one day when my buddies approached me and questioned why i wasn't hanging anymore which they were cool about and one of my older brothers is talking to my Mom one day with me there and he was amazed i quit and tells my mom " yeah Ron he's got strong will power, he said he was gonna quit smoking weed and he did " i'm standing there in front of my mom like " oh great " and embarrassed

i've smoked recreationally off and on since that time, mostly off...

[ZigZagBigBag]

if you don't enjoy hanging out with people and have outgrown them, don't hang out with them. acting like you're above people because of lifestyle choices sounds a condescending. you don't need alcohol at this point in your life, good for you. drinking booze doesn't make you a drunk and a friend is a friend.

[Tall_James]

Get married and have kids.

Talk about a lifestyle change.

[Gvac]

I have a buddy of mine who used to be like a brother to me. We hung together, drank together, picked up chicks together, etc. As I got into my 30's and started to grow up a bit, he kept on living the lifestyle of his 20's - out drinking every night, involved in illegal activities, etc. He got locked up for DUI, possession, gambling, and nearly went away for a long time for some even more serious crimes.

I had no choice but to sever the ties. He's recently cleaned up his act, though, and we've been hanging again socially but nowhere near as close as before.

[grlNIN]

if you don't enjoy hanging out with people and have outgrown them, don't hang out with them. acting like you're above people because of lifestyle choices sounds a condescending. you don't need alcohol at this point in your life, good for you. drinking booze doesn't make you a drunk and a friend is a friend.

1 you don't know me so back off.

2 Drinking booze doesn't make you a drunk. Being at bars every other night of the week and over consuming alcohol and smoking pot does in fact make you not only an alcoholic but probably dependent on drugs as well.


I'm sorry if i sound condescending but im not sorry that i have my shit together.

Thanks for your opinion anyway, I only wish i had a nickel for you.

[ZigZagBigBag]

1 you don't know me so back off.

2 Drinking booze doesn't make you a drunk. Being at bars every other night of the week and over consuming alcohol and smoking pot does in fact make you not only an alcoholic but probably dependent on drugs as well.


I'm sorry if i sound condescending but im not sorry that i have my shit together.

Thanks for your opinion anyway, I only wish i had a nickel for you.


hey, relax. i don't know you and i'm happy you have your shit together. i like to think i have mine together too. why do people, when they get something good going on in their life, feel like they have to lord it over people? i was just saying that outgrowing friends has more to do with yourself than their drinking or smoking habits. good friends remain friends despite what they ingest. settle down and have a drink or something. just kidding. posting stuff about your life on a messageboard is gonna open you up to some opinions. i like to think mine is worth at least a dime.

[grlNIN]

Growing out of friends had heavily to do with their recreational habits and I'm not lording anything over anyone, i highly doubt others in this thread are doing that either.

I wrote something about my personal experience and left an open ended question asking about other people's personal experience.

So please why don't you just stick to that instead of coming into a thread and giving negative feedback and snide comments?

Produce something positive and/or insightful if you can.

[ZigZagBigBag]

sigh. i think it is insightful to say that changes in lifestyle shouldn't dictate who your friends are, and not agreeing with someone isn't being negative. i don't party near as much as i used to and that has meant i do not have the same friends as i used to. i happen to believe that this is because we weren't that good friends to begin with. i still keep friends that party way more than me i just don't party with them all the time. i also would not prevent myself from befriending someone because they like to party in their basements a lot. i have to much regard for basements and also i like to think my criteria for making friends goes a little beyond what they like to smoke or drink. peace.

[GonzoStyle]

try not to derail the thread please, thanks.

now back to the topic at hand, I must say that Gvac's ass is not as great as Arelis's but he does have nicer eyes, aka not as menacing.