Favorite Schoolyard Comeback

[DiabloSammich]

Back in the day, when a kid would try to bust on me, I would fire back with,

"That joke's so old I fell off my dinosaur and broke my stone underwear."

I mean, stone underwear! Just the image is hilarious! Stone underwear, classic.



It was a gold standard of kid's comebacks, and I caught myself starting to use it today on my wife.

What was your best comeback back in the days of bygone youth?





Please note, this is not a poll, and Pee in my Butt is not an option.

[Gritty]

That's so funny I forgot to laugh

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Im not fat, Im just big boned you fuckface

[DarkHippie]

tears and a haymaker

[Gritty]

I know you are but what am I?

[midwestjeff]

Fuck Off.

[BoondockSaint]

So? I got two radio shows.

[Snoogans]

Your mom

[Bossanova]

How's your mom and my kid

[Hottub]

How's your mom and my kid

C'mon you fucking, jerkoff fuck!

[FUNKMAN]

suck my dick

[midwestjeff]

Ok, but only if you suck mine first.

[Snoogans]

How's your mom and my kid

thats not from school thats from Major League.

Clue Haywood says it to Jake Taylor before he tees off on Vaughn

[Bossanova]

thats not from school thats from Major League.

Clue Haywood says it to Jake Taylor before he tees off on Vaughn

Oh yeah. I get that and chool confused all of the time.

[Bob Impact]

I know you are but what am I?

[PapaBear]

I'm rubber and you're glue. Shut the fuck up.

[Marc with a c]

"That's what joe said"

[joethebartender]

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but allah will make sure that you infidels die a hundred thousand deaths for our suffering in this, our glorious jihad!!!
(actually this wasn't one of my comebacks but this one kid Mohammed used to say it a lot!)
http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/4933/emotjihad9as.gif

[Mullenax]

"Nuh-Uh" three times followed by a zinging " I'm telling" ?
<p> I was four, comebacking at a preschool level.:surrender:

[FUNKMAN]

suck my dick

Ok, but only if you suck mine first.

with your mouth

[JerseyRich]

Your mother wears a leather bra!

[Furtherman]

Your mother wears combat boots!

[Jughead]

Your mother wears combat boots!

:lol: I used that one a lot ...

[Jughead]

Benny..you go stand in right field...and just stay there!!!!

[BoondockSaint]

I don't remember exactly how it went but it had something to do with a jerk store.

[Bossanova]

I don't remember exactly how it went but it had something to do with a jerk store.

:lol:

[FUNKMAN]

i'd break your nose but I only have two hands

[ralphbxny]

your stupid ...stupid!

[BoondockSaint]

your stupid ...stupid!

Hmmm...I think it kind of works against you when you write it out.

[ralphbxny]

Hmmm...I think it kind of works against you when you write it out.

I was never a talker...I was the puncher!

[reillyluck]

fuck this shit

[TheCarter]

My dad taught me this, and I didn't get it at the time.
Kids were calling me a motherfucker when I was around 6.

He told me to say, "Your's will be the first". 14 years later I fully appreciate his brilliance.

[WampusCrandle]

"your mother's a whore and your father holds the money" - tis a gem in highschool!

[Jughead]

That bike is a piece of shit...I'm still not very good...:smile:

[FUNKMAN]

what do you think this is, your house or some other dirty place?

[Jughead]

You got a flat top...You got a flat top....How about some more wax there bee hive....

[FUNKMAN]

where's the flood?

[DiabloSammich]

where's the flood?



Nice.


I heard that too much to laugh right now. Give me a minute.

[DiabloSammich]

Me: Do you have HBO?

Random Kid: Yeah!

Me: You have Horrible Body Odor?


Then I laugh like a drunken asshole.

[Furtherman]

where's the flood?

Hahahahaha...

I remember, "The flood is over, the land is dry, why do you wear your pants so high?"

I also recall putting our index finger to our chins and saying "DUHHHHHHH!"

[DoubleJ]

thats not from school thats from Major League.

Clue Haywood says it to Jake Taylor before he tees off on Vaughn


I believe Clue says, "How's your wife and my kids."

[GvacMobile]

The standard schoolyard comeback from my neck of the woods was so racist, vulgar, and vile that I wouldn't dream of repeating it here.

[DiabloSammich]

The standard schoolyard comeback from my neck of the woods was so racist, vulgar, and vile that I wouldn't dream of repeating it here.


I bet GvacNoMore would post it.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

more like furtherwoman

[Furtherman]

more like furtherwoman

THAAAAAAAT's not a schoolyard comeback!

[FUNKMAN]

what bowl did your dad use to cut your hair?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

THAAAAAAAT's not a schoolyard comeback!


that was meant for the furtherman I grew up with , not you who hasnt grew up with a furtherman

[DiabloSammich]

that was meant for the furtherman I grew up with , not you who hasnt grew up with a furtherman



Wow, what are the odds?

[Furtherman]

that was meant for the furtherman I grew up with , not you who hasnt grew up with a furtherman

Pretty sneaky, sis.

[FANDICK]

"Got any naked pictures of your mother? Want to buy some?"

[FUNKMAN]

your mom's like a police station, dicks go in and out...

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I got your insult, right here "points to crotch"

[DiabloSammich]

your mom's like a police station, dicks go in and out...


your mom's like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn

[FUNKMAN]

your mom's like a police station, dicks go in and out...

your mom's like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn

your mom's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows...

[FANDICK]

your mom's like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn

"Your mom's like a bowling ball...she gets fingered every night and thrown down an alley"

[FUNKMAN]

your mom's like an oven, she gets hot before the meat goes in...

[DiabloSammich]

your mom's like a refrigerator, everybody sticks their meat in

[King Hippos Bandaid]

both of your moms are like a bubblegum machine, 5 cents a blow

[FANDICK]

"Your mom eats kitty litter"

[DiabloSammich]

"Your mom's like a bowling ball...she gets fingered every night and thrown down an alley"


Never heard this, I'm gonna start using it immediately.:lol:

[FANDICK]

"Your dad rides on trolleys"

[Jughead]

My dad can beat the shit out of your dad.......

[FUNKMAN]

your mom's like a brick, she only gets laid by mexicans...

[FANDICK]

Never heard this, I'm gonna start using it immediately.:lol:

:thumbup:

[King Hippos Bandaid]

your mom is like kentucky fried chicken , finger licking good

[FUNKMAN]

your mom sells potato chips on the corner - Lays

[DiabloSammich]

your mom sells potato chips on the corner - Lays



Your mom's like a corn chip - Free-To-Lay

[Jughead]

your mom sells potato chips on the corner - Lays

Hahahaha Im sure i used that one..There is a frito-lay plant here in Frankfort

[Jughead]

I told a kid once on the play ground when i was about 9....He ought to be the cover boy for mad magazine..I was so witty....:thumbdown:

[Jughead]

Ya also had to go after the kid with the thick glasses..we used to use..... what are those the Bottom of root beer mugs...We had not got to the frying ants gag yet...:smoke:

[high fly]

You wanna play the Dozens?
The Dozens is a game
But the way I fuck your mother is a god-damned shame....