View Full Version : Dear Penthouse Forum....
Ritalin
10-12-2007, 01:36 PM
I never would think that something like this would ever happen to a guy like me, but one time.....
Dirtybird12
10-12-2007, 01:39 PM
I was working late one night at the abortion clinic
King Hippos Bandaid
10-12-2007, 01:41 PM
The Female Nurse had been pill popping
marky2bucks
10-12-2007, 01:48 PM
So I'm balls deep in this fat chick, and her granddaughter walks in. Since I like girl scout uniforms....
Team_Ramrod
10-12-2007, 02:41 PM
I ask the little granddaughter if she has a cookie I could sample....
lleeder
10-12-2007, 02:43 PM
She said no but have you met my grandmother shes right there in the wheelchair
DarkHippie
10-12-2007, 02:48 PM
She said no but have you met my grandmother shes right there in the wheelchair
so i pulled out my can of WD-40
lleeder
10-12-2007, 02:49 PM
and proceeded to lube her up
DarkHippie
10-12-2007, 02:57 PM
and proceeded to lube her up
But she was already wet
lleeder
10-12-2007, 02:58 PM
due to the fact she had shit and pissed herself
Hottub
10-12-2007, 03:10 PM
Nothing a few baby wipes couldn't take care of.
DolaMight
10-12-2007, 04:07 PM
I never would think that something like this would ever happen to a guy like me, but one time.....
I scratched a Home Depot 5-25% scratch and save and I scratched a 25%, the cashier was obviously turned on so I forced myself on her then was I raped repeatedly in prison. I swear it never would happen to a guy like me.
TheMojoPin
10-12-2007, 04:11 PM
But then this fake asian said she wouldn't mind a threesome with me and my girlfriend...
Dougie Brootal
10-12-2007, 04:21 PM
and i told all my internet "friends" an no one believed me.... :(
topless_mike
10-12-2007, 05:00 PM
so i posted a few pix of chix on teh internetz
King Hippos Bandaid
10-13-2007, 06:07 AM
and gave King Hippos Bandaid some Batch Material
:king:
Chip Vaughn
10-13-2007, 08:03 AM
and gave King Hippos Bandaid some Batch Material
:king:
But after much review, the chicks turned out to be dudes. So I then proceeded to...
lleeder
10-13-2007, 08:07 AM
punch a midget in the anus
led37zep
10-13-2007, 08:34 AM
but not before I bent over and asked the fake asian to...
King Hippos Bandaid
10-13-2007, 08:35 AM
but not before I bent over and asked the fake asian to...
shave the Goatee, when he/she did that ,I was ready to
:king:
led37zep
10-13-2007, 08:37 AM
shave the Goatee, when he/she did that ,I was ready to
:king:
Remove the Benoit Balls out of my ass and get ready for her...
DarkHippie
10-13-2007, 08:54 AM
Remove the Benoit Balls out of my ass and get ready for her...
to be strangled with my Benoit Balls
Team_Ramrod
10-13-2007, 12:34 PM
as she was so cutely fighting to breathe she drooled out the side of her mouth, I wiped it onto my hog and....
lleeder
10-13-2007, 01:01 PM
used it to close some envelopes I had to mail out for a birthday party
King Hippos Bandaid
10-13-2007, 01:09 PM
used it to close some envelopes I had to mail out for a birthday party
after I mailed out the envelopes, I went back to work on her and
:king:
lleeder
10-13-2007, 03:53 PM
balanced a jar of mayo on her head...
led37zep
10-13-2007, 04:04 PM
right then e-rock shuffles in...
lleeder
10-13-2007, 04:05 PM
and scoops up some mayo in his hand and...
led37zep
10-13-2007, 04:08 PM
starts jackin' it to a picture of opie, when all of a sudden...
lleeder
10-13-2007, 04:12 PM
Allen Funt walks out with Fannie Flagg...
SatCam
10-13-2007, 04:31 PM
Allen Funt walks out with Fannie Flagg...
and he starts fucking her like no other when all of a sudden...
lleeder
10-13-2007, 04:33 PM
it starts to rain...
SatCam
10-13-2007, 04:39 PM
ejaculate from none other than...
lleeder
10-13-2007, 04:51 PM
one of the most unexpected people...
DarkHippie
10-13-2007, 05:08 PM
one of the most unexpected people...
ArchBishiop Desmond Tutu
drjoek
10-13-2007, 07:08 PM
One time at band camp........
marky2bucks
10-13-2007, 08:19 PM
this retard was going down on me for a bag of jelly beans...
led37zep
10-13-2007, 09:10 PM
right before I came she shoved a penny in my peehole, well this made me....
Ritalin
10-13-2007, 10:45 PM
shake like an epileptic, which was good because I really like....
SatCam
10-14-2007, 12:31 AM
to choke on my tongue and turn blue, which reminds me...
Ritalin
10-14-2007, 01:30 AM
....of the time I was in a deli, eating a tongue sandwich and wondering if I would EVER have a threesome. Well....
King Hippos Bandaid
10-14-2007, 05:44 AM
....of the time I was in a deli, eating a tongue sandwich and wondering if I would EVER have a threesome. Well....
then I remember there was a retarded stock girl who works in the Deli, I picked up a Condom and ...
:king:
Ritalin
10-14-2007, 05:50 AM
...a pound of potato salad and some wet naps and...
lleeder
10-14-2007, 07:28 AM
a rotten apple in the...
Chip Vaughn
10-14-2007, 07:29 AM
...a pound of potato salad and some wet naps and...
Covered myself with the wet naps, while this retard was on top of me eating potato salad. After the husky stock boy discovered us...
lleeder
10-14-2007, 07:30 AM
I hit him in the head with the empty potato salad container and...
Chip Vaughn
10-14-2007, 07:32 AM
I hit him in the head with the empty potato salad container and...
Finished up with a money shot directly to his forehead. The retard and I then...
Dirtybird12
10-14-2007, 07:45 AM
called Fez and asked him to...
lleeder
10-14-2007, 11:04 AM
bring back the Fezatorial...
torker
10-14-2007, 11:14 AM
This idea was summarily rejected. However,...
SatCam
10-14-2007, 11:23 AM
This idea was summarily rejected. However,...
Fez DID ask if he could stop buy the deli and pick up a pound of all american man meat so he could........
lleeder
10-14-2007, 11:24 AM
talk to Sam the butcher who had his own plans...
led37zep
10-14-2007, 05:50 PM
Sam had just taken an handful of X and was looking for...
lleeder
10-14-2007, 05:53 PM
Fat_Sunny since he hadn't seen him post in quite some time...
Ritalin
10-15-2007, 01:06 AM
...and everybody knows that Sam and Fat_Sunny like to GET IT ON! So there I am standing there with a dog collar in one hand and a twisted tube of astrolube in the other when I heard...
nate1000
10-15-2007, 05:43 AM
the producer say "Now that is one hell of an act. What do you call it?"
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