I'm an awful mess

[Chainsaw]

The confessional seems like a good place for me to say this....

I only want what I can't have...and when I get it, I don't think I want it anymore...

Lately this has led me into some spotty situations. 1. I began talking to an ex while dating a girl 2. I had an affair with a married woman 3. I thought I wanted back with an ex (whom I knew was not the one, but I did love a lot), got back with her, and then realized it wasn't right... and 4. I find myself emailing the married woman again...


I'm sure there are some logical explanations to this (caveman/ hunter/gatherer thing) and then there is just the possibility that I'm an ass. I'm not saying this with any pride, I'm saying it b/c it pisses me off....I get really down when I can't get what I want, then I obsess over it, eventually get it, then I feel horribly guilty b/c I'm still not happy...

I hope someone has a story like this with a happy ending...i.e. were once like this, but found girl of their dreams etc....

I suck...

[Kris10]

Oh, no! Is this who we were talking about in private chat once upon a time? The ex that is??? I just deleted those message today. I was wonderin' how everything was going with you, haven't seen you around in awhile.

[ralphbxny]

All I can say is drop the married chick...that never works out...at all!!

[Kris10]

All I can say is drop the married chick...that never works out...at all!!

Or the married man!

[Furtherman]

What you need to do is drop all ex's and married affairs and find yourself a girl who has no attachments to any of the fucked up circles you find yourself in. There are plenty out there.

[Dingbat_Charlie]

I have had a little bit of this problem in the past. I'd break up with somebody for valid reasons, but would soon start yearning for them, and thinking about them alot. Or I'd start dating somebody - they'd be cool and everything would be going fine - when suddenly I'd find myself wanting to be with an ex. It didn't take long to realize that the problem was me, not them. It sounds like you might be coming to this same conclusion.

I tried this and it helped: I'd enumerate specific reasons for ending a relationship before doing so and make an effort to remember them. I knew that sometime in the future I might find myself heading down the road to break-up regret, so I'd record a mental message to replay to the 'future me' in case this happened. It essentially said, "hey, future me, you are breaking up with this person for good reasons. don't let doubts arise. don't regret it. if you get back with this person the same issues will quickly arise and you will want to end it all over again."

this sounds stupid, but it seemed to work. I'm happily married now and have no regrets.

[Chainsaw]

I have had a little bit of this problem in the past. I'd break up with somebody for valid reasons, but would soon start yearning for them, and thinking about them alot. Or I'd start dating somebody - they'd be cool and everything would be going fine - when suddenly I'd find myself wanting to be with an ex. It didn't take long to realize that the problem was me, not them. It sounds like you might be coming to this same conclusion.

I tried this and it helped: I'd enumerate specific reasons for ending a relationship before doing so and make an effort to remember them. I knew that sometime in the future I might find myself heading down the road to break-up regret, so I'd record a mental message to replay to the 'future me' in case this happened. It essentially said, "hey, future me, you are breaking up with this person for good reasons. don't let doubts arise. don't regret it. if you get back with this person the same issues will quickly arise and you will want to end it all over again."

this sounds stupid, but it seemed to work. I'm happily married now and have no regrets.

That sounds awesome and I should try it...I don't think anyone likes to admit to having character flaws, but mine was becoming pretty glaring, and I was ashamed about it...

I guess the right one you won't let go of....right?

[ralphbxny]

Or the married man!

What ever he likes...married never works!