Screw all you guys! I'm getting 2.4 Million Great British Pounds Sterling!

[Judge Smails]

I recieved the email below today, not once, not twice, but a total of five times. So, you know it really has to be important. Poor Joshi Harris and his ghastly auto crash. It will give me some degree of consolation to know that his considerable fortune will be put to good use by myself. I knew that registering in that "international directory" would pay dividends some day. So long, suckers. Atlantic City, here I come!


Dear Mr/Mrs,

Compliments of the day to you.I must solicit your confidentiality and assure you that I am contacting you in good faith and this proposal which i bring to you will be of mutual benefit to both you and i.
My name is Mr.Williams Faster(ESQ) a legal practitioner here in London and I am privileged to be the Legal Adviser/Personal Attorney to late Mr.Joshi Harris, an Australian national Herein referred to as my Client.

However,I wish to inform you that my late client died intestate as a result of a ghastly auto crash in 2005 which involved his entire family,In the process of review in my search for his relative,I got your
contact information through an international directory, hence I contacted you so that I can give you further
briefing on my intention and how to disburse the estate left behind by my late client before his death more especially a huge deposit of Eight Million Great
British Pounds Sterling(£8,000,000)made in a security company here in London in 2002.

After that you will hold on 30% of the deposit while i will take 70%.

Please do contact me on this e-mail (willyf1@yahoo.co.uk (willyf1@yahoo.co.uk))
immediately you receive this mail.

[IMSlacker]

I'd wait for the sixth email. That's the only way to be absolutely sure its legit.

[Ritalin]

I'm going to contact the good barrister at his Yahoo address - all the best barristers Yahoo - and tell him that I, in fact, am the good Judge Smails and am inquiring about my paltry inheritance.

[led37zep]

I'm gonna send him a picture of a cute kitten as a reward for blessing Judge with such a wonderful gift.

[Hottub]

Screw you, Judge! I'm coming over empty handed. Buy your own damn beer and chips!

[Judge Smails]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b47/alden97/P1010037.jpg?t=1187395170

I got it on credit, until my cash comes in from overseas. It's the one, and only, million dollar Middlesex County Fire Diamond. Second in rarity only to the elusive Golden Diamond of lore.

[ChrisTheCop]

my late client died intestate as a result of a ghastly auto crash in 2005

another tragic death on the intestate.

[Crispy123]

This may be a scam :unsure::unsure::unsure:

[led37zep]

This may be a scam :unsure::unsure::unsure:

Maybe you didn't read the e-mail Judge got
assure you that I am contacting you in good faith

See...can't be a scam if he wrote that.

[Crispy123]

Maybe you didn't read the e-mail Judge got


See...can't be a scam if he wrote that.


I never learned to read dammit!!!!

[topless_mike]

oh the grammatical errors are burning my eyes.

sniff sniff

this reeks of trouble.

[Kevin]

oh the grammatical errors are burning my eyes.

sniff sniff

this reeks of trouble.

Maybe he was so excited to write that and help Judge, that he just forgot to edit.. You ever think of that Mr Grammar nazi??

[STC-Dub]

Not if they get my reply first!

[mdr55]

What's a "national Herein"????





Got to be real. The dude is an ESQ.

[led37zep]

Man I really hope Judge hasn't spent all this money already!

[IMSlacker]

Which one of you entered me in this lottery? Come on, fess up! I'm booking my flight to Heathrow right now!

PEUGEOT AUTOMOBILES LOTTERY

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of
£300,000.00,From the International online programs held on the
08/22/2007 in London the United Kingdom .
To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact:

Mr Paul Woods,
Email:woods_claimsagent237@yahoo.com.hk
Tel: +447045708544

You are also advised to send him an email with the following
information as part of the claim requirements as soon as possible:

Name,Sex,Occupation,Age,Country,Telephone and Address.

Congratulations once again!

With Best Regards
Mr. Dominic Gerard
Lottery Manager.

[Judge Smails]

Man-oh-man, I can't believe my good fortune lately. I keep getting these opportunities emailed to me, seemingly out of the blue. I don't want to be a glutton though. So, I'm passing this on to the first board member who contacts Winston Pans. You'll need to decipher the message first, though. So, get out your Little Orphan Annie Decoder Rings.


Hello Dear,
INVESTMENT PROJECT

It's my great pleasure and excites moment of alerting you of this investment proposal, I am in the administrative department of an investment company that amalgamated on all kinds of investment opportunity, both Local and International,

Our specifically channels goes in handling huge capitals both alluvial dust, stocks and liquid cash for some eligible clients which lies on my position in the office, I was authorized with skillful information which shall be useful to you and our company, once we establish a mutually partnership with us,

We shall be obliged to explain to you in details once we have a favorable response from you about the investment, consequently we do apologizes for accessing into your privacy without adequate notification.

However we urge you to stay put in contacting our Chief Consultant WINSTON PANS, through his personal e-mail ID: w_pans@mail.md and we shall be looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience

Yours Sincerely
MRS VIRGY ETIABA

[Chimee]

So that's what the Iron Sheik has been up to lately.

[sailor]

her name is an anagram for "smails give bra try" so, she may be coming on to you as well!

her middle initials, not listed, are L.S., so bite me if someone has a problem with that!

:)

[Crispy123]

Our specifically channels goes in handling huge capitals both alluvial dust, stocks and liquid cash

Now this is promising.

[undressa]

for god sake, I will never get one of these emails and have to work for what I want, some people have all the luck!:wallbash:

[Keotok]

http://blog.esaba.com/projects/catphotos/catimages2/17030001.jpg

[AJDELAWARE]

You are lucky. You get that kind of email, but I did get one for a sweet job that im going to take:

Join Harvey Investment Company team. Our customized employment solutions and personalized approach give job seekers access to great opportunities with competitive salaries. Our company offers comprehensive benefits that allow making good money, without spending too much time for that. Don't put your career in the hands of just anyone; put it in the hands of a specialist. Launch or rejuvenate your career today with Harvey Investment Company and its subsidiaries are equal opportunity employers.

Today we are looking for customer service associates who share our command spirit and are looking to land an outstanding position with a company who has consistently been recognized on the national level for their work in the investment and securities area. We work tirelessly to build solid relationships with well-recognized organizations across the nation to learn about projects and opportunities.

Take a look at the job responsibilities and qualifications below and if you think you would be an asset to the team, we invite you to apply for the position.

Customer service associate is responsible for being in close touch with the staff from the head office, accepting customer payments to his bank account and making further calculations regarding them. The associate should deduct his 10% interest out of every transaction he is going to deal with, as well as all the related charges. The associate further makes a Western Union/MoneyGram transfer of the balance left to the company's regional department.

A position requires excellent customer service skills, employee's ability to manage time and accomplish duties with a minimum of supervision. Ideal candidate should possess 1-2 free hours a day, a bank account, available to be used for the company needs, should be outgoing, dedicated to meeting deadlines and objectives and able to follow procedures.

Whether you're interested in short-term temporary work or full-time permanent hire, we are confident that we have the right job for you. Apply today and let Harvey Investment Company help you realize your true potential.

For further, more detailed information, please visit our web site

We are looking forward to hearing from you!

[Snoogans]

Yea I turned that job down. Good luck with my leftovers.

[ralphbxny]

I recieved the email below today, not once, not twice, but a total of five times. So, you know it really has to be important. Poor Joshi Harris and his ghastly auto crash. It will give me some degree of consolation to know that his considerable fortune will be put to good use by myself. I knew that registering in that "international directory" would pay dividends some day. So long, suckers. Atlantic City, here I come!


Dear Mr/Mrs,

Compliments of the day to you.I must solicit your confidentiality and assure you that I am contacting you in good faith and this proposal which i bring to you will be of mutual benefit to both you and i.
My name is Mr.Williams Faster(ESQ) a legal practitioner here in London and I am privileged to be the Legal Adviser/Personal Attorney to late Mr.Joshi Harris, an Australian national Herein referred to as my Client.

However,I wish to inform you that my late client died intestate as a result of a ghastly auto crash in 2005 which involved his entire family,In the process of review in my search for his relative,I got your
contact information through an international directory, hence I contacted you so that I can give you further
briefing on my intention and how to disburse the estate left behind by my late client before his death more especially a huge deposit of Eight Million Great
British Pounds Sterling(£8,000,000)made in a security company here in London in 2002.

After that you will hold on 30% of the deposit while i will take 70%.

Please do contact me on this e-mail (willyf1@yahoo.co.uk (willyf1@yahoo.co.uk))
immediately you receive this mail.




I NEVER GET ANYTHING COOL LIKE THIS!!!

[boobieman]

I got the same email but it was for 2.5 million cumias....wow what can I buy with all those cumias.

SEEYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!:drunk:

[sr71blackbird]

Why are all scam emails so horribly written?

[OGC]

I recieved the email below today, not once, not twice, but a total of five times. So, you know it really has to be important. Poor Joshi Harris and his ghastly auto crash. It will give me some degree of consolation to know that his considerable fortune will be put to good use by myself. I knew that registering in that "international directory" would pay dividends some day. So long, suckers. Atlantic City, here I come!


Dear Mr/Mrs,

Compliments of the day to you.I must solicit your confidentiality and assure you that I am contacting you in good faith ...

...Please do contact me on this e-mail (willyf1@yahoo.co.uk (willyf1@yahoo.co.uk))
immediately you receive this mail.




Sorry Pal, but you blew it. What part of confidentiality don't you understand ?

you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!

[Dougie Brootal]

looks like the email gods have selected me to bestow riches upon based on an email with terrible spelling and grammar!

My Dear Good Friend,

I am very happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds
transferd
under a new partiner,Now i,m in london for my new Inverstment now.
But moreover i did not forget your past effort as you tried to help
me;So
I will want you to contact my secretary on the information below.
NAME; Mr.Ebeli Brown EMAIL: (ebeli_brown1010@yahoo.fr) ask him to send
you
the total sum of (1.5Million USD) in a bank draft, which I kept for
your
compensation.
CONTACT HIM ON this email(ebeli_brown1010@yahoo.fr) send him your full
address
where you will like to receive your Bank Draft such as .
Your full Name..............
Your Address................
Your Tell phone Number......
Your Country.....................
Your Occupection...............
Let me know once you receive the Bank Draft from him so that we both we
shere the joy together and make arrengement on how we can meat and my
inverstement
here in demark,I give to him the sum of $150 dollars to register the
Bank
Draft Via Courier Company.

Regards,
Dr.Johnson Ben




ill see you all in the funny papers!!

[ralphbxny]

looks like the email gods have selected me to bestow riches upon based an email with terrible spelling and grammar!




ill see you all in the funny papers!!

OHH YOUR SOOOOOOO LUCKY!!

[Judge Smails]

My good fortune just keeps going and going. Now I've just gotten $12 million and a 13 year-old boy! Oh I'll be sure to give him a lot of love. Nudge nudge wink wink. Eat your heart out douggrasso.

Here's the email I just recieved:


Greetings from London,

My name is Lucie Summers,married to the late James Summers,who died with our two daughters in Indonesia on 26th of December 2004 during the Tsunami Disaster. I am suffering from cancer and hypertension. At present, my only means of communicating with people around me is through body language and writing

My reason of writing you this mail is due to the sad news I received from my doctor. After my last diagnose result, he said that I may not leave for more than one month ahead, due to the damage the cancer have caused in my system unless I undergo an urgent surgical operation in which my chances of survival is less than 10%.

I have a more concern problem, which is why I have contacted you. This is about my son, his name is Johnson. Since it is now obvious that I will die,my son's future have been the greatest problem I have.I want you to take care of my son please. He is only 13 years old and I have no person here to take care of him.

My Husband left some money (About $12,000,000.00) in a deposit house in UK at Abbey National plc, of which I was made the next of kin and beneficiary. I want you to take this money and my son. Use the money into a big investment that you will manage until my son grows up to take over the investment. I want you to take Johnson as your own son and give him love.

Please reply this mail immediately with your full name, address and phone number if you have the love and care of God at:

lucie_summers1@hotmail.com

Lucie Summers

[Midkiff]

Write her back and tell her you'll do it, provided she fucks you before she dies.

[Dougie Brootal]

My good fortune just keeps going and going. Now I've just gotten $12 million and a 13 year-old boy! Oh I'll be sure to give him a lot of love. Nudge nudge wink wink. Eat your heart out douggrasso.

Here's the email I just recieved:

have you responded yet?!?! dear god man, what are you waiting for!?!!?!?!?!

[mendyweiss]

A Shame The 13 Year Old Son Lived, And Not The 10 Year Old Daughter.

[DeltaPin]

Dear Mr/Mrs,



Judge Smails is a tranny?

[IMSlacker]

H! I find your profile very interesting. I am moving to your area from russia
I am young female, my friends say that I am good looking
I am looking for a good man to show me around and may be more ;)
Could you please kindly reply to me at mainqrosebud@gmail.com
I will send you some of my pictures back in reply.
Could you reply to my email account I am supplying in the body of this email
as I am writing from my work email which i don't use for personal correspondence


This is so exciting! Please, no one tell my wife.

[Snoogans]

pffft, that aint shit:

Dear Friend,

I have a proposal for you, this however is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honour against your will.

I am Mr Steve James and I work with a security company (Apex Global Trust and Finances Security Company, London). Here in this company existed a dormant account for the past 8 years which belong to an American national, late Mr Roy Howard who died on Alaska Airlines.

When I discovered that there had been no deposits nor withdrawals from this account for this long period, I decided to carry out a system investigation and discovered that non of the family members nor relations of the late person is aware of this account. This is the story in a nutshell.

Now I want an account overseas where the company will transfer this funds. Thereafter, I had planned to destroy all related documents for this account. It is a careful network and for the past eleven months I have worked out everything to ensure a hitch-free operation.

The amount is not so much at the moment and plus all the accumulated interest the balance in this account stands at-(US$10.5 million US dollars).

Now my questions are:-
1. Can you handle this project?
2. Can I give you this trust?
3. What will be your commission?

If you can sponsor this transfer. Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. Finally, it is our humble prayer that the information as contained herein be accorded the necessary attention, urgency as well as the secrecy it deserves.

I expect your urgent response if you can handle this project.Please email me for confirmation that you will assist me and i will also appreciate you give me an urgent telephone call for confirmation.

My Telephone number: +44-702-402-3660

I am expecting your urgent response as soon as you receive my message.

Respectfully yours,

Mr steven James.

[NewYorkDragons80]

I got the same email but it was for 2.5 million cumias....wow what can I buy with all those cumias.

Imagine the fires...

[silks]

I just got this one. No bullshit with this guy:


Greetings!!!
You have a bank draft of $780,000.00 USD, which await the outstanding payment of $275USD.Contact the TNT courier company for claims with your information. Contact person Mr. West Oduduwa,Email: tntcours827@nl.rogers.com Tel; +234-706-243-1369


I emailed him back and told him just to deduct the $275 from the $780k and send me a certified check for $779,725. I'm sure that will work!

[cougarjake13]

i've been getting a bunch of the suppossed chikcs wanting to find love emails


also i've been getting emails from what seems to be potential employers, they dont ask for bank info or anything but they have a website to click on and i think its a scam or if you click on the link its a virus or something

[IMSlacker]

H! I find your profile very interesting. I am moving to your area from russia
I am young female, my friends say that I am good looking
I am looking for a good man to show me around and may be more ;)
Could you please kindly reply to me at mainqrosebud@gmail.com
I will send you some of my pictures back in reply.
Could you reply to my email account I am supplying in the body of this email
as I am writing from my work email which i don't use for personal correspondence

This is so exciting! Please, no one tell my wife.

Two more young ladies sent me this same email today. I'm beginning to think this may not be on the up and up.

[~Katja~]

H! I find your profile very interesting. I am moving to your area from russia
I am young female, my friends say that I am good looking
I am looking for a good man to show me around and may be more
Could you please kindly reply to me at mainqrosebud@gmail.com
I will send you some of my pictures back in reply.
Could you reply to my email account I am supplying in the body of this email
as I am writing from my work email which i don't use for personal correspondence
This is so exciting! Please, no one tell my wife.

so Roseblood changed her name again and this is what she has been up to??? :unsure:

[sailor]

just received the following. they're from iceland, so you know it's on the up-and-up:

Dear Friend,
I am Mrs. Elizabeth Etters from Iceland, married to Late Engr Brown Etters {PhD} who worked with MULTINATIONAL OIL COMPANY EXXON AS A DRILLING RIG SUPPLIER in Kuwait for 19 years before he died on the 22th August 2008. We were married for twenty four years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death, he deposited the sum of USD 2,142,728.00 Dollars with a bank In Canada and this fund is presently with the bank awaiting my disbursement as beneficiary and next of kin to the funds. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church, organization or good person that will utilize this money in good faith.
l took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money. I kept this deposit secret till date, this is why I am taking this decision. I don't think i will need any telephone communication in this regard because of the confidentiality of this transfer.Upon your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. Reply to my very confidential email address below {mrsetters01@rogers.com}
Await your responds and God bless you.
Mrs. Elizabeth Etters

[Kevin]

just received the following. they're from iceland, so you know it's on the up-and-up:

You are so lucky.

Maybe now you can by this shithole.