I just put up a trailer and I need honest opinions.

[Grendel_Kahn]

Here's the link. PLEASE lemme know what you think. I am looking for smart people with a wide range of interests, and this site never fails me.

Thanks guys.
Rob

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CWgZliQro6A

[Snacks]

I get the idea of the name "Blood Money". Obviously they find plates to make counterfit money and they are probably a mob guys so thats were the blood comes from. I even get why you put the heartbeat in the back ground but the heartbeat is so annoying and takes away from watching the trailer. I would say re-edit the trailer with a different song and remove the heartbeat. Good luck

[Grendel_Kahn]

Thanks for that. As far as the song goes,it was written by Anthony Sica ( http://www.anthonysica.com ) just for us. Thank you for watching it and commenting . Feedback is always good. Unless it's that tool from "Who wants to be a Sperhero?".

[MadMatt]

It's a good concept, but it just feels like there is too much extraneous info that could be trimmed down while still pushing the point.

IMO it goes on too long - it hits it's stride when they find the plates, but before that it doesn't gel. Too much of the guys running and no clear reason why the guy drops the plates in the car. I know you are trying to setup characters, but use the movie to do that, not the trailer. Also, I agree that the heartbeat gets a little annoying.

My personal preference would be less setup and stick with the primary story motivation - these 3 guys from the shop find plates that belong to the mob. What do they do with them and what could go wrong? Don't give away too much of the story line, but stick with the key element.

Don't get me wrong, it looks like the movie might be pretty good and I would like to see the finished product.
:thumbup:

EDIT: Re-reading my post, it may have sounded a little harsh. I apologize for that. It is not a bad trailer, but I was trying to provide some constructive criticism. sorry if it came out wrong.

[FMJeff]

I'm a film major so I know where you're coming from with some of these ideas. I've edited many trailers for college assignments...from student films to blockbuster movies. One of my favorite assignments was to take a movie like "Aliens" and make it appear to be a romantic comedy, or make a comedy a tragedy, etc.

Getting back to your trailer, I have some suggestions:

1) Your cinematography is very bland in this trailer. From what I can tell this was filmed in an almost sitcom like fashion, medium shots....tripod, one camera, one angle, dead ahead. Mix up your shots. Go close, pull back, adjust your angles, move the camera around. It will make your trailer look that much better, and for that matter, your movie. For example, showing the receipt needle and a CU of the victim's face and the wooden square base (with the needle removed) and the mobster's fantastic grimace would really help pump up the violence.

2) Lose the heartbeat. It adds no dramatic value. Heartbeats are used to build to a crescendo, of which there's none in this trailer. It also competes with the vocals.

3) Lose the opening rock music. It confuses the mood of the film and it's too slow. The fade-out at the end of that sequence is too abrupt.

4) I heard a woman's voice off camera. Show the woman. Sex sells. If she's not hot, don't show her.

5) Change the font of your intertitles. It's too thin and fanciful for the crime drama you're trying to set.

6) Do not cut off dialogue mid-sentence. Around 1:26 you'll see what I mean.

7) When using intertitles in a trailer, try to follow with a sequence that relates to the intertitle. For example, one of your titles was "what oath would you take" followed by the man jabbing the guy in the eye. It's not really relevant.

8) Don't use the eye stabbing more than once. It suggests that's the only real violence in your movie.

9) Pump up the violence. If this is a crime drama, there should be more.

10) 1:43 and 2:03. 1:43 shows two characters fighting. 2:03 shows those same to characters calm. Trailers are high energy marketing pieces. You need to sell the emotion. There can be no exhalation, no rest, for anybody. Keep the energy up, keep the action up.

Hope that helps.

6)

[Grendel_Kahn]

It's a good concept, but it just feels like there is too much extraneous info that could be trimmed down while still pushing the point.

IMO it goes on too long - it hits it's stride when they find the plates, but before that it doesn't gel. Too much of the guys running and no clear reason why the guy drops the plates in the car. I know you are trying to setup characters, but use the movie to do that, not the trailer. Also, I agree that the heartbeat gets a little annoying.

My personal preference would be less setup and stick with the primary story motivation - these 3 guys from the shop find plates that belong to the mob. What do they do with them and what could go wrong? Don't give away too much of the story line, but stick with the key element.

Don't get me wrong, it looks like the movie might be pretty good and I would like to see the finished product.
:thumbup:

EDIT: Re-reading my post, it may have sounded a little harsh. I apologize for that. It is not a bad trailer, but I was trying to provide some constructive criticism. sorry if it came out wrong.

No not harsh at all. I entered this in a contest, and all we could do is show a " Coming attraction" which is why it is so long. It is also why it gives a lot of the story away. It kinda had to. The whole idea is to make the judges interested enough to ask for more.

Thanks again.

[Grendel_Kahn]

I'm a film major so I know where you're coming from with some of these ideas. I've edited many trailers for college assignments...from student films to blockbuster movies. One of my favorite assignments was to take a movie like "Aliens" and make it appear to be a romantic comedy, or make a comedy a tragedy, etc.

Getting back to your trailer, I have some suggestions:

1) Your cinematography is very bland in this trailer. From what I can tell this was filmed in an almost sitcom like fashion, medium shots....tripod, one camera, one angle, dead ahead. Mix up your shots. Go close, pull back, adjust your angles, move the camera around. It will make your trailer look that much better, and for that matter, your movie. For example, showing the receipt needle and a CU of the victim's face and the wooden square base (with the needle removed) and the mobster's fantastic grimace would really help pump up the violence.

2) Lose the heartbeat. It adds no dramatic value. Heartbeats are used to build to a crescendo, of which there's none in this trailer. It also competes with the vocals.

3) Lose the opening rock music. It confuses the mood of the film and it's too slow. The fade-out at the end of that sequence is too abrupt.

4) I heard a woman's voice off camera. Show the woman. Sex sells. If she's not hot, don't show her.

5) Change the font of your intertitles. It's too thin and fanciful for the crime drama you're trying to set.

6) Do not cut off dialogue mid-sentence. Around 1:26 you'll see what I mean.

7) When using intertitles in a trailer, try to follow with a sequence that relates to the intertitle. For example, one of your titles was "what oath would you take" followed by the man jabbing the guy in the eye. It's not really relevant.

8) Don't use the eye stabbing more than once. It suggests that's the only real violence in your movie.

9) Pump up the violence. If this is a crime drama, there should be more.

10) 1:43 and 2:03. 1:43 shows two characters fighting. 2:03 shows those same to characters calm. Trailers are high energy marketing pieces. You need to sell the emotion. There can be no exhalation, no rest, for anybody. Keep the energy up, keep the action up.

Hope that helps.

6)

Thank you very much for your suggestions. Like I said in the above reply, this was a "coming attractions " contest, and the winner gets a tone of money to make a mini series of your idea. That's why it's a bit on the longish side. In fact what you see is what you get. That's all we filmed and that was what I edited together. I guess being the writer/director/cameraman/editor makes you lose a bit of perspective.