Yes I'm getting Married this.. FU CHAKA KHAN!!!!

[Tenbatsuzen]

Slowly but surely, my carefully constructed world is crumbling around me.

A little background. I have over 6 years of event planning, coordination, and management experience. I excel at thinking quickly, problem solving, and being a field general of relaying orders to people and getting things done. Shelle has bore witness to this; she knows I take this kind of stuff seriously.

So when I popped the question to Liz, I told her to focus on her own thing, I would take care of all the wedding planning, and doing what I do best.

So I did everything. Flowers? Done. Music? No problem. Location? Got it. Rehearsal dinner? All over it. Honeymoon? Ready to fly.

Over the past two weeks, things have been falling apart. First, I got word that the hotel was being sold, and a bunch of people couldn't get rooms because the reservation system was being frozen. Fortunately, they delayed the sale by a month, but it was a few days of "What the fuck!?!?".

So with that fire out of the way, I thought we'd sail right through to the wedding.

Well, I just found out that there's a major street festival dedicated to ending racism going on right by the church I'm getting married at. It's basically shutting down the entire area, and pretty much invalidates all of the directions that were printed on the invites and programs.

Pretty much inconviencing all of my guests, my vendors, and my wedding.

And the star of this anti-racism festival?

Chaka Fucking Khan.

And the topper to this is that I went to go pick up my tux and the tux I went to three fucking fittings to make sure it was right, they got the wrong fucking tux with the wrong sizes from the first fitting.

I am seriously infuriated, stressed out, and I think I'm going to scream. And I'm not sure what I'm going to scream.

[Furtherman]

I feel for you.....

[Don Stugots]

few things:

the tux, no big deal, it happens, trust me
i was able to get a room with no problem
the street fair? yikes
you planning the wedding? gay, seriously gay. i coordinate multi-million dollar construction sites and wouldnt think of planning a wedding. check your pants and make sure your balls are still there.


i will not say dont worry, i will say to calm down and act like a man. you have a women that will look to you for strength and comfort & not for screaming. be angry but not a woman.

[lleeder]

I'd listen to Stugots. He has the practice.

[Tenbatsuzen]

I have zero work stress, 100 percent wedding stress. Liz has 100 percent work stress, 0 wedding stress. Funny how that works.

And Chaka Cunt can kiss my ass.

[JPMNICK]

wow that sucks a big one. well at least now the guests who show up for the church can grab a meat on a stick before they come in.

either way good luck, and don't stress to much because it will all work out in the end regardless of racial equality, and you will have an awesome time

[Tenbatsuzen]

I'd listen to Stugots. He has the practice.

+1560

[Don Stugots]

I'd listen to Stugots. He has the practice.

:wink: :annoyed: :sad: :lol: all at once.

[JPMNICK]

few things:

the tux, no big deal, it happens, trust me
i was able to get a room with no problem
the street fair? yikes
you planning the wedding? gay, seriously gay. i coordinate multi-million dollar construction sites and wouldnt think of planning a wedding. check your pants and make sure your balls are still there.


i will not say dont worry, i will say to calm down and act like a man. you have a women that will look to you for strength and comfort & not for screaming. be angry but not a woman.


i might get that tattoo'd on my back

[Tenbatsuzen]

I feel for you.....

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

[Snacks]

When is this wedding going to happen? I mean not to sound like an ass but it seems like I have been reading about the wedding, honeymoon and everything else. What is the date?

[Tenbatsuzen]

:wink: :annoyed: :sad: :lol: all at once.

It's funny how you call me gay, yet you're using smileys. Who's the homo now?

[Tenbatsuzen]

When is this wedding going to happen? I mean not to sound like an ass but it seems like I have been reading about the wedding, honeymoon and everything else. What is the date?

Soon.

[Ritalin]

I feel for you.....

SO FUCKING FUNNY!

(not you bats. the quote)

[Furtherman]

I feel for you.....

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

Yea... I couldn't help that one!



But I do feel sorry for you. I hope it works out.

[Stankfoot]

Men should not be involved in any wedding plans except the music.
That's too important to be left up to the bride!
Everything else is secondary...

[Death Metal Moe]

http://hnonline.sk/attachment.php/11903910/isu48BFHIJKLNj6PWbdfgpqxyz01SURV/20050121_v_homer-simpson5.jpg

"HELP ME CHAKA KHAN!!!

CHAKA KHAN CHAKA KHAN!!!"

[torker]

http://www.marvchastain.com/KerryTraitor.JPG
Jenghis Khan

[Furtherman]

http://sjl-static3.sjl.youtube.com/vi/ANqeDH41MIs/2.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

http://static.flickr.com/41/85996885_2dc79c10c3_m.jpg

"CHAKA KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!"

[TheMojoPin]

Furtherman, you son of a bitch.

[Furtherman]

Yeaaaaaaah I'm that good.

[torker]

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/matchgame/3x5pictures/DidiConn1.jpg
CONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

[Ritalin]

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/matchgame/3x5pictures/DidiConn1.jpg
CONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

I always thought that Didi was kinda hot...nice rack.

[Ritalin]

http://www.movieactors.com/freezeframes-77/theif142.jpeg

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

[torker]

I always thought that Didi was kinda hot...nice rack.
Your going to piss Mojo off.

[Ritalin]

http://county-map.digital-topo-maps.com/connecticut-county-map.gif

connnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

[Ritalin]

Your going to piss Mojo off.

why? some kind of odd Didi Conn vendetta?

[Kevin]

http://www.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/ticket/archives/SCOTT-CAAN.jpg


CAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN

[torker]

why? some kind of odd Didi Conn vendetta?

He has mocked her beauty in previous threads.

[Ritalin]

http://poussinator.canalblog.com/images/cd09new_1_.jpg

CANNES!

[Ritalin]

He has mocked her beauty in previous threads.

well, I can see that. It's an oddball crush for sure, all squeeky voice and cupie doll, with some nice tits.

[torker]

http://videodetective.com/photos/006/000264_45.jpg
KAHNNNNNNN!!!

[angelinad128]

That seriously sucks. The guests will find a way to get there. Easier said than done, but try not to think to much about it. Can you get a hold of any local offical and explain the problem?

[Ritalin]

http://www.sylloge.com/misc_bin/images/three_card_monte_small.jpg

CONnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

[Death Metal Moe]

http://cache.wonkette.com/images/2006/04/condi%20rice%20looking%20very%20angry.jpg

COOOOOOOOOOONDI!!!

[torker]

http://blogalice.com/files/chaka.jpg
CHAKKKKAAA!!!

[El Mudo]

http://radio.weblogs.com/0107064/MyImages/don-knotts.jpg





DONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

[cougarjake13]

damn the man


damn the chaka khan

[Judge Smails]

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cc/Immanuel_Kant_(portrait).jpg/483px-Immanuel_Kant_(portrait).jpg

Seriously, I've been there and I know full well that nothing anyone says to you is going to make you feel any better. But, I have never heard of any wedding that was 100% glitch free. I know that right now this is the single most important thing to ever happen in your life. But you'll be surprised how soon it will be when you'll look back on that day as just another event that occured in your life. These little stories that you're stressing about right now are the very ones that you'll be laughing about soon.

My wife and I were supposed to get married in a beautiful garden in back of our reception place. Words can not possibly express how gorgeous the set up was going to be. Lattice rose archways and fountains and flowers everywhere you looked. We paid an extra $25.00 a plate for the set-up. That morning I checked the weather forcast and there was a 25% chance of rain. Pretty good odds - right? A half hour before the ceremony we were hit by a torrential downpour that lasted well into the reception time. We were forced to move everything inside to an empty reception hall. My wife was crushed. But now it's just another slightly amusing anectdote that I tell at parties and post on radio show fansite messageboards. No big deal really in the whole scope of things.

[Mike Teacher]

I'll get back to this later i couldnt get past 'I planned the whole wedding'

ouch my sides hurt

[sailor]

He has mocked her beauty in previous threads.

is there a female celeb whose looks he hasn't mocked? maybe he's, you know...

[El Mudo]

http://cms.outdoorsfanmedia.com/resources/Pros/I/Iaconelli_Mike/Iaconelli_Mike_0604_ES_Gville_370_double_ESPNO.jpg






IACONNNNNNNNELLI

[WhistlePig]

At least the wedding program turned out great, right? Right?

[TheMojoPin]

"CONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTRA!!!"

http://www.theoldcomputer.com/Libarary's/Pictures/NESGameCovers/C/Contra.jpg

[Ritalin]

is there a female celeb whose looks he hasn't mocked? maybe he's, you know...

You mean he's CAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTone?

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/4844/MarioCanto_Count_8846535_400.jpg

[Kevin]

For Sheepy....



http://kasei.us/archives/comiccon.jpg


Comic COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[Tenbatsuzen]

At least the wedding program turned out great, right? Right?

Program was great. Except the directions are now completely useless, but that's no fault of yours. I'll send you a hard copy after the wedding. And you'll get your props soon. Promise.

[Gvac]

I'll get back to this later i couldnt get past 'I planned the whole wedding'

ouch my sides hurt

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eYkxF14YdAw"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eYkxF14YdAw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[Tenbatsuzen]

So let me get this straight...

Since Mikey and Earl planned a big event, they are cool.

I plan a big event, and I suck.

It's not like I bought Liz's dress or something. I took care of all the "party" stuff.

[Kevin]

http://www.lovefilm.com/lovefilm/images/products/1/6521-large.jpg

[sailor]

So let me get this straight...

Since Mikey and Earl planned a big event, they are cool.

I plan a big event, and I suck.

It's not like I bought Liz's dress or something. I took care of all the "party" stuff.

did you get pretty flowers, ma'am?

[reillyluck]

So let me get this straight...

Since Mikey and Earl planned a big event, they are cool.

I plan a big event, and I suck.

It's not like I bought Liz's dress or something. I took care of all the "party" stuff.


Dont let them piss on your parade! If you wanna dance, you dance!

[Tenbatsuzen]

Dont let them piss on your parade! If you wanna dance, you dance!

And all I wanna do is dance, dance, dance.

http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/3895/castpic1014kj5.jpg

[King Hippos Bandaid]

good luck with the Wedding and Enjoy the Honeymoon

:king:

[Reephdweller]

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/usr/1/13839/BrightEyes_01.preview.jpg

COOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOORRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Friday]

Somebody's Getting Maaaaaaaaaa-reeeeeeeeeed!

http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/thumb/b/b8/Wedding_Doors.JPG/300px-Wedding_Doors.JPG

Matty.... BREATH.
Relax.
And concentrate on that beautiful woman walking toward you because she loves you.

Chaka Khan has NOTHING on her, I tell you.... NOTHING!

:)

[Fallon]

http://graphics.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Third_Party_Photo/2006/08/21/1156161869_4656.jpg

[crabbyjohn]

Gains 80 pounds and tells you her mother is moving in. You aint seen nothing yet...this is just a view of things to come! Your life will be over when you say I do.

[Hosp]

Come on, you have the easy part. You just have to committ the rest of your life to Liz. Look what she's got to put herself through...



Good Luck Bro.

[furie]

See, this is why i had my wife do all the planing. this way i didn't have to stress. all i had to do was get the tux. I didgo to pick the hall, but i let her make the decision.

if it's her day (and lets face it, it really is all about the bride that day) then let her do the work.
that's my philosophy.

[A.J.]

And the star of this anti-racism festival?

Chaka Fucking Khan.

I am seriously infuriated, stressed out, and I think I'm going to scream. And I'm not sure what I'm going to scream.

I can think of three words you probably wouldn't want to use, T-Man.

Sorry this happened. It's further justification of my belief that weddings are a headache and a waste of money.

[reillyluck]

one more day, matty!!!!!!!!

[EffMeBoobs]

few things:

the tux, no big deal, it happens, trust me
i was able to get a room with no problem
the street fair? yikes
you planning the wedding? gay, seriously gay. i coordinate multi-million dollar construction sites and wouldnt think of planning a wedding. check your pants and make sure your balls are still there.


i will not say dont worry, i will say to calm down and act like a man. you have a women that will look to you for strength and comfort & not for screaming. be angry but not a woman.

Ha

Ring a ding ding. I think we got a winner! Thanky ou Andrew for making me laugh today at work!




Seriously Matty, it will all work out! Good thing I checked this...I'll be leaving an hour earlier to get to the wedding!

[furie]

where's the honeymoon again?

[SatCam]

where's the honeymoon again?

macys thanksgiving day parade

[Justice4all]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snacks
When is this wedding going to happen? I mean not to sound like an ass but it seems like I have been reading about the wedding, honeymoon and everything else. What is the date?


Soon.

Ummm Snacks, All you have to do it find out when this protest is going on with Chaka Khan. Then find the nearest church to this protest and you will find Tens.

Was not that hard to find it out.Thanks Tens!










Oh yea...good luck Tens and congrats. Maybe you can ask Chaka to sing at your wedding?

[EliSnow]

Good luck and mazel tov, Matty.

[Tenbatsuzen]

To put a nice little bow on this story, Liz and I flew first class to Hawaii, which means you get access to Continental's President's Club lounge. Before we flew out from Newark, I was wandering around the lounge, until I stopped dead in my tracks.

Sitting about 7 feet away from me to my left was one Chaka Khan.

We made eye contact.



I tilted my head and smiled.


She got uncomfortable.

She got up and left.

I win.

[JPMNICK]

To put a nice little bow on this story, Liz and I flew first class to Hawaii, which means you get access to Continental's President's Club lounge. Before we flew out from Newark, I was wandering around the lounge, until I stopped dead in my tracks.

Sitting about 7 feet away from me to my left was one Chaka Khan.

We made eye contact.



I tilted my head and smiled.


She got uncomfortable.

She got up and left.

I win.


HAHHA that is an awesome ending.

at any point did you scream "you ruined my wedding you fat fuck"

[Tenbatsuzen]

at any point did you scream "you ruined my wedding you fat fuck"

She's actually not that fat; I mean, she's chunky, but for a chunky black woman who's around 50 years old, she looked pretty good.

And the wedding was pretty much perfect, so I had no need to yell.

[zathrus]

Ten,
do you know what time the street fair starts? maybe your guests will be able to get into the wedding before it starts. something similar to this happened to my sister-in-law when she got married in NYC. They had already started closing off the streets, so the guests went around found parking and everyone still made it there on time. congrats!! maybe you can get shake chan to sing at your wedding.

[ralphbxny]

Congrats and welcome home...you Chaka khan stalker!!

[Thebazile78]

Ten,
do you know what time the street fair starts? maybe your guests will be able to get into the wedding before it starts. something similar to this happened to my sister-in-law when she got married in NYC. They had already started closing off the streets, so the guests went around found parking and everyone still made it there on time. congrats!! maybe you can get shake chan to sing at your wedding.

HA! The street fair started at like noon and went through 4 or 5. Our invitations said 4:30. We were supposed to start by 5. . .Matt was running around trying to marshal the troops beforehand. Now, if he'd turned over the reins to our event coordinator at the rehearsal, he . . . would still have been running around like a madman. (Who am I kidding???)

It's not like there wasn't an easily accessible alternate route or anything. . .the invitations had the routes from the major highways around the area, and the part of the street that was closed is about a mile away from our ceremony site.

Even if you took the alterna-directions, there are some huge DETOUR signs that would have plunked you onto one of the major highways. . .and gotten you to the site no problem. To tell the truth, I'm responsible for having written the directions to the ceremony site that we lifted for the invites. (OK, so it was eight years ago, but enough is the same that nobody needed to panic.)

If, on the other hand, one knew the area, there are a million backroutes that weren't closed. . .no problem. Really, no problem.

The vendors got there, most of the guests got there and my grandparents ended up . . . stuck in traffic. :huh:

[Tenbatsuzen]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-13470075

*shakes fist*

[Furtherman]

http://johnnycat.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/khan.jpg

[A.J.]

She keeps missing the target.

[Tenbatsuzen]

"Rufus? What's that?"

[disneyspy]

"Rufus? What's that?"

<object width="459" height="55"> <param name="movie" value="http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player.swf?1305835355"></param> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param> <param name="flashvars" value="autoplay=false&dataPath=http://www.hark.com/clips/ymflhbnggx.json"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player.swf?1305835355" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" flashvars="autoplay=false&dataPath=http://www.hark.com/clips/ymflhbnggx.json" width="459" height="55" wmode="transparent"></embed> </object> <span style="font-size: 9px; color: #ddd; display: block; width: 440px; margin-left: 5px;"> (<a href="http://www.hark.com/clips/ymflhbnggx-excellent-with-guitar" style="color: #aaa;">Link</a>) View more <a href="http://www.hark.com/collections/jtvkymdbdg-ted" style="color: #aaa;">Ted Sound Clips</a> and <a href="http://www.hark.com/collections/zrttnlvgng-keanu-reeves" style="color: #aaa;">Keanu Reeves Sound Clips</a> </span>

[furie]

http://www.freeonlinepicture.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/strauss-kahn-riding.jpg

[KC2OSO]

http://www.lovefilm.com/lovefilm/images/products/1/6521-large.jpg

This is gay served with a side of gay.

[Radioguy]

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/4018/dalekcaaninsane.jpg

The BBC airbrushed that press photo.