A week and a half to get clean

[blakjeezis]

So I have this friend, Jack Bleezis we'll call him, and in ten days, Sat March 24th precisely, he has to give a urine sample for a life insurance policy he has taken out. For about the past 5 or 6 months or so he's been smoking pot basically everyday. What is the best way to go about getting himself clean, and by when does he need to stop? He runs about 4 times a week and sweats profusely. Can he go through this weekend and enjoy himself and start with the flushing process next week, or does he need to stop right now? He has access to all the cleaning out stuff, Golden Seal and the like.

[PapaBear]

<p>I used one of those nasty teas that you have to drink like ten million gallons in 2 days once. I failed the test AND I pissed green for two days.</p><p>Also, I don't know that an insurance company would do it, but some places also test for stuff like goldenseal.</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by PapaBear on 3-8-07 @ 12:47 AM</span>

[spoon]

<p>Uh oh, better get <strike>MACO</strike>....I mean call Snoogans.&nbsp; I believe he has a PhD in the this field.&nbsp; Just saying...</p>

[blakjeezis]

A second question, if I may; should he fail this test, is this something that's going to follow him around for the rest of his life? Like, next time he tries to take out insurance are they gonna be like, &quot;Hmmmmmm, reason for denial ... oh, really? Veeeeeery interesting indeeed.&quot;

[PapaBear]

I'm no expert, but I don't think they can pass on the information. You should tell your friend to be a fine upstanding citizen like yourself, though.

[blakjeezis]

But, even if they don't specifically say it, there's only one reason that a young, healthy, intelligent, handsome, gifted, extremely well-hung gentleman such as my friend would be denied. They're smart folks; they'd figure it out.

[PapaBear]

<p>Your friend could say he had AIDS, but he got better. How do you know he's well hung? I smell a rat.</p><p>BTW... I just remembered something. When I failed that drug test (which was for a job) the HR woman said &quot;You stated on your application that you would have no problem passing a drug test. Why did you lie?&quot; I said, &quot;I said I'd have no problem passing, because I thought I'd pass. I was wrong, not a liar&quot;.</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by PapaBear on 3-8-07 @ 1:30 AM</span>

[zentraed]

STOP RUNNING! seriously. thc is stored in the fat, and if you're working out, you're burning that fat and releasing the thc back into the bloodstream. on the day of the test, piss in the morning when you wake up, then drink a ton of water, and wait 'til you're at the end of your pee to fill the cup.

[legroommusic]

liquid clean. I did it, but just in case, carry a&nbsp;container of someone else's urine. Make sure that person is clean too.

[PapaBear]

I just remembered one my brother told me about. He told his son to dip a finger in bleach, then piss over the finger into the cup. That's supposed to work. Of course, his idiot son poured about two ounces of bleach into about half an ounce of his piss. He's currently in rehab to get of the methadone, that was meant to get him off the heroin.

[blakjeezis]

But if it's a life insurance thingy, aren't they gonna test it for other shit too? Will they come back like, &quot;Apparently, you're a 12 year old girl.&quot;&nbsp; Because that's about the only person he knows who doesn't smoke weed and wouldn't question him asking for her urine ... again.

[MrPink]

<p>Drink lots of water between now and then. Don't drink too much or you'll get sick, believe me. Drink a really small amount of bleach with water and make sure to piss it out before your piss test. I had a friend who did the bleach and didn't piss it out before the test. The amount of THC&nbsp;he pissed out&nbsp;was off the charts. In the future, I would suggest doing drugs that don't stay in your system as long as bud.</p><p>Edit: Current drug users shouldn't talk about that on boards. The pigs are always watching.</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by MrPink on 3-8-07 @ 3:55 AM</span>

[hedges]

This whole topic of drug tests, random tests, makes me see red. If you only got 10 days, then I would say your only choice is substitution. You can drink all the water you want before the test, but then your creatine levels will be off, and they will know what's up. Synthetic subs. work but the temp. must be right. It gets complicated, but the tests can be beat. I believe all the teas and potions are BS. Go with a substitution.

[sr71blackbird]

<strong>blakjeezis</strong> wrote:<br />But, even if they don't specifically say it, there's only one reason that a young, healthy, intelligent, handsome, gifted, extremely well-hung gentleman such as my friend would be denied. They're smart folks; they'd figure it out. <p>&nbsp;Does your friend know how you feel about him?ÿ Does this life insurance company have provisions for alternate lifestyles?</p><p>Do NOT drink bleach!</p>

[Gvac]

<p>Tell your pothead friend it's time to straighten up and fly right, mister!</p><p>He's probably all wacked out on goofballs, too!</p><p>Damn hippies.&nbsp;</p>

[bobrobot]

<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <strong><font color="#000080">Have sex w/ a SUCCUBUS, all poisons (&amp; bodily fluids) will be extracted from the participant!!!</font></strong></p><p align="center"><img src="http://www.uotreasurehunters.com/quest/succubus.jpg" border="0" width="336" height="432" /></p><p align="center"><strong><font color="#000080"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succubus" target="_blank">SUCCUBUS, fr: Wikipedia... (click)</a></font></strong></p><p><font color="#000080"><strong>Dictionary wrote: <font color="#000000">Main Entry:</font><font color="#000000"> suc&middot;cu&middot;bus<br /><strong>Function:</strong> <em>noun</em><br /><strong>Pronunciation:</strong> -b&amp;s<br /><strong>Inflected Form(s):</strong> <em>plural</em> <strong>suc&middot;cu&middot;bi</strong>/-&quot;b?, -&quot;be/ <br /><strong>Etymology:</strong> Middle English, from Medieval Latin, alteration of Latin <em>succuba </em>paramour, from <em>succubare </em>to lie under, from <em>sub- + cubare </em>to lie, recline<br /><strong>:</strong> a demon assuming female form to have sexual intercourse with men in their sleep -- compare </font><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/editmessage.cfm/Forum/69/Topic/57672/Message/*lookWord('incubus');"><strong>INCUBUS </strong></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/editmessage.cfm/Forum/69/Topic/57672/Message/*showPopImage('Pronunciation%20Key','pronunciation key','','');"><strong>Pronunciation Key</strong></a><strong> </strong></strong></font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by bobogolem on 3-8-07 @ 7:17 AM</span>

[Don Stugots]

gold&nbsp; seal.&nbsp;

[walking joint]

<p>you should stop smoking now...probably a few weeks ago.&nbsp; i've done the golden seal along with the Puriblend teas the day of the test.&nbsp; the tea sucks and you have to drink alot, but it worked twice for me.&nbsp; the tea made me puke though.&nbsp; </p><p>this is for life insurance?&nbsp; you shouldn't be denied...your premium will just be a bit higher.&nbsp; </p>

[angelinad128]

<p>I would think that drug testing for life insurance and a job are two totally different things.</p><p>Life Insurance testing will be to see if you have any illness so that they can base what your premium will be.&nbsp; You may have to pay more because of the smoking.&nbsp; I would say better safe than sorry and stop for now.</p><p>Oh I also just remembered, they make hair products from hemp, (Sally Beauty Supply sells them). You could buy the shampoo and conditioner to show you use them and that maybe that's why it seems to be in your system.&nbsp;&nbsp; Hey it wouldn't hurt!&nbsp; </p>

[mendyweiss]

Tell your &quot;friend&quot; Sorry 10 days ain't gonna do it.

[ChimneyFish]

<p><strong><em><font face="georgia,palatino" size="2">I would just like to know why you waited so long to stop. Is this a suprise life insurance policy someone sprung on you????</font></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><font face="Georgia" size="2">For every one person I know who passed using the teas and what not, I know someone else who failed.</font></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><font face="Georgia" size="2">You really should have quit 6-8 months ago.</font></em></strong></p>

[Dan 'Hampton]

Don't try the dixie cup in the boys room.&nbsp; Another turd tried that in CT this week.

[Dirtybird12]

<p>a friend of mine had to take a piss test for a new job.&nbsp; <br /><br />You do not need to buy anything. Just stop smoking. Don't drink any sodas or anything w/ salt or sugar. A healthy diet for 10 days isnt a bad idea. and water.&nbsp;&nbsp; The trick is simply to flush you system. </p><p>Try to drink NOTHING but water until the day of the test. With a weeks worth of healthy eating - no fast foods and nothing too greasy. </p><p>If you can make your piss clear like water you are halfway there!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>you should be fine. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[zentraed]

You can buy a home drug testing kit. It will be good for a few uses, so you can see if you can get a negative result between now and the real test. Just go to your local pharmacy. I bought one at wal-mart once

[SatCam]

this happened to a friend of mine once and he went on a program called "STOP DOING DRUGS BEFORE A DRUG TESTr"

christ dude... you've been smoking every day for a while now? it takes like a month for it to clear out of your system... not ten days. have fun smoking this weekend. also if you piss clear from water on the day of the test they may very while deny the sample

[Ritalin]

<p>2 thoughts:</p><p>What if they test you using your hair, Britney? and,</p><p>You - I mean - your friend smokes every day and runs 4 times a week? Why not just stand still and stop smoking?</p><p>Sounds like you're insane in the membrane&nbsp;</p>

[Ritalin]

<strong>bobogolem</strong> wrote:<br /><p> <strong><font color="#000080">Have sex w/ a SUCCUBUS, all poisons (&amp; bodily fluids) will be extracted from the participant!!!</font></strong></p><p align="center"><img src="http://www.uotreasurehunters.com/quest/succubus.jpg" border="0" width="336" height="432" /></p><p align="center"><strong><font color="#000080"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succubus" target="_blank">SUCCUBUS, fr: Wikipedia... (click)</a></font></strong></p><p><font color="#000080"><strong>Dictionary wrote: <font color="#000000">Main Entry:</font><font color="#000000"> suc&middot;cu&middot;bus<br /><strong>Function:</strong> <em>noun</em><br /><strong>Pronunciation:</strong> -b&amp;s<br /><strong>Inflected Form(s):</strong> <em>plural</em> <strong>suc&middot;cu&middot;bi</strong>/-&quot;b?, -&quot;be/ <br /><strong>Etymology:</strong> Middle English, from Medieval Latin, alteration of Latin <em>succuba </em>paramour, from <em>succubare </em>to lie under, from <em>sub- + cubare </em>to lie, recline<br /><strong>:</strong> a demon assuming female form to have sexual intercourse with men in their sleep -- compare </font><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/editmessage.cfm/Forum/69/Topic/57672/Message/*lookWord('incubus');"><strong>INCUBUS </strong></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/editmessage.cfm/Forum/69/Topic/57672/Message/*showPopImage('Pronunciation%20Key','pronunciation key','','');"><strong>Pronunciation Key</strong></a><strong> </strong></strong></font></p> <span class="post_edited">This message was edited by bobogolem on 3-8-07 @ 7:17 AM</span><p><font size="4">The crazy thing is, Bobo is supposedly drug free!</font> </p>

[Bossanova]

<p align="center"><strong>GENERAL TIPS PASSING A DRUG TEST</strong></p><p>1. Choose a <strong>reliable detoxification product</strong>. There are a lot of <a href="http://null/detox-kits-c-87.html" target="_blank"><strong><font color="#2e3821">Great Products here</font></strong></a>. To avoid any risk <strong>passing a drug test</strong> ,it is much more desirable to have the protection and not need it than to have needed the protection and not had it.</p><p>2. Do not use <strong>toxins</strong> and any <strong>toxic environment</strong> for at least 48 hours before your deadline. The longer the better. Your first line of defense is always abstinence. Don't let the <strong>toxins</strong> in and they can not make any harm to you.</p><p>3. Try to have a healthy diet the week prior to your personal deadline. High fat foods, greasy foods (particularly butters, cream sauces, and fried foods) and junk foods have been shown to slow the <strong>detoxification process</strong>. Eat fiber, carbohydrates, vegetables and foods high in protein as normal. Do NOT skip breakfast. Eat often throughout the day, but avoid eating late at night when your body has nothing to do with those extra calories other than store them as fat. Do NOT go on a crash diet to burn fat. When you are on diet your body is in panic because it thinks you're starving. Your metabolism will drop and your body will hold on to those fat cells even tighter than before. </p><p>4. Eat only light meals the day of your personal deadline</p><p>5. Try to avoid alcoholic beverages, over the counter drugs and unnecessary medications. It can cause <strong>false positive in your drug test</strong>.</p><p>6. For at least (2) days prior to the day of your deadline consume a minimum of (6) 16 ounce glasses of water per day. Water is a catalyst to the body's natural <strong>detoxification process</strong>. Drinking water will help to <strong>flush toxins out of your body</strong>, especially when combined with <a href="http://null/detox-kits-c-87.html" target="_blank"><strong><font color="#2e3821">Detox Products</font></strong></a> healthy eating and exercise habits. Just keep some water by you and sip on it all day long. You can drink several glasses this way without having to drink the water all at once.</p><p>7. Maintaining <strong>Creatinine Levels</strong> is a Key. THIS IS REAL IMPORTANT STUFF: Creatinine is a natural protein created by the body and is usually excreted in the <strong>urine</strong> at fairly constant concentrations. When the urine is diluted by frequent urination and extra hydration, the <strong>creatinine level</strong> in the urine will drop. <strong>Creatinine levels</strong> are tested for in labs and a low <strong>creatinine level</strong> may indicate to the lab that you have <strong>tried to flush your system of drugs</strong>. If the product does not reestablish your normal balance, including Creatinine, any drug test kit can tell the tester you have tried <strong>to mask the results of test</strong>. You could be ordered to do a retest. A retest might return a negative, but your use could still be in question with your employer. This is why drinking the right amount of water and taking our <a href="http://null/advanced_search_result.php?sort=3d&amp;keywords=Cleans e+capsules&amp;x=0&amp;y=0" target="_blank"><strong><font color="#2e3821">Cleanse capsules</font></strong></a> is critical before your analysis to <strong>flush the toxic metabolities from the fatty tissue</strong>. </p><p>8. You then take <strong>reliable detoxification product such as</strong> <a href="http://null/advanced_search_result.php?sort=3d&amp;keywords=Herbal +Clean&amp;x=0&amp;y=0" target="_blank"><strong><font color="#2e3821">Herbal Clean</font></strong></a> <strong>and flush any toxins out of your system</strong> for a four hour period and then these products reestablish the normal and natural balance for that same period of time. All ingredients are all natural and can not be detected under any circumstances. Any samples taken within this 5 hour window will show ne

[SinA]

<p>jack off in the cup, and say you didn't understand the directions.</p><p>when they tell you to do it again and just pee this time, tell them it's too late, peed first so you'd be able to get off and now you don't have to go anymore.&nbsp;</p><p>reschedule another appointment no sooner than 28 days from now</p>

[Captain Rooster]

Stop immediately and replace the pot with a bottle of i57

[mdr55]

These are the stuff Urban legends are made off.<br />

[Fez4PrezN2008]

Hey Mon ! Wiggin' bout yer test is bogus. Your mistake was in not choosing the right life insurance company. <a href="http://www.ebaltd.com/index.htm" target="_blank">May I suggest these folks instead?</a> They will probably give your a better rate if they did pick something up on your test.

[Gaia]

<p>5<font style="background-color: #ffff00">. Try to avoid alcoholic beverages, over the counter drugs and unnecessary medications. It can cause <strong>false positive in your drug test</strong>.</font></p><p><font style="background-color: #ffff00"></font></p><p><font style="background-color: #ffffff">Whats this shit, you would think they would have perfected drug tests...I dont know anything about them....to me they seem unreliable. Like if you wake up that morning and have a headache and take some asprin...you are totally fucked. OR: Oh no, I have a drug test today and I cant have a banana split because I&nbsp;MAY fail my drug test....&nbsp;Or maybe Im just HIGH. </font></p>

[MrPink]

How would smokin some bud cause the insurance company to raise their rates? It's not like you can OD on it or get hurt in any way from it.

[blakjeezis]

Just update, because I know you're all concerned. So Jack immediately stopped smoking and started drinking water. And I mean drinking, 5/6 quarts a day. To the point where he got lightheaded quite a few times from it. And, of course, he started pissing, and pissing, and pissing. 10 times a day, easy. Almost pissed himself on a severalty of occasions. Getting up 3 or 4 times a night to piss. I mean he was pissing alot. He also tested himself with the home kits every couple of days. By the time the 10 days were up, he was still showing up positive. Problem, right? Fortunately, his scheduled test day was the day of that big ice storm we had and the test was pushed back another week. So, another week of drinking water, another week of pissing like a four-balled pony. Still, he kept testing positive. Friday rolls around and it's crunch time: he either has to call and re-schedule (which would not have gone over well) or bite the bullet. He gets one last test on the Friday, and lo and behold, he comes back clean. Great. He drinks a little more water that night, pisses a couple of times during the night, pisses the first, concentrated piss of the day on Saturday morning. And the nurse shows up to test him.

Blood work, height, weight, blah blah blah. She gives him the cup. "No more than half way." Fine. He goes in the bathroom and ... nothing. Not a fucking drop. He stands, dick in hand, for about 15 minutes. He drinks another couple of the Poland Spring sport bottles in front of her, chugs 'em. Still nothing. After just over two weeks of doing nothing but fucking pissing, he can't squeeze out even a drip. He completely folded under pressure. The nurse, who seemed a little (forgive the pun) pissy about it tells him they have to re-schedule.

Anyway, long story even longer, he reschedules for Thursday, today, and keeps drinking and keeps pissing. He woke up this morning, drank one of those new, round 3 liter Poland Spring bottles between 8 and 8:45. Nurse shows up, cup, piss, done.

So the moral of the story is this: in exactly 3 weeks, your man totally cleaned his shit out. I guess it's only a week to 10 days less time than it would take naturally. But I heard that for chronic users (again, pun not intended), of which he was certainly one, it can take up to 40 days. That's basically half of what it took him. So there you go folks. It can be done. You just have to drink gallons and gallons of water.

[Drunky McBetidont]

<p>jack off in the cup, and say you didn't understand the directions.</p><p>when they tell you to do it again and just pee this time, tell them it's too late, peed first so you'd be able to get off and now you don't have to go anymore.&nbsp;</p><p>reschedule another appointment no sooner than 28 days from now</p>

SinA is a funny sonofabitch.

i say go to norml website and check out the facts. as stated manytimes before, substitution with clean healthy urine that is strapped to your crotch to stay warm is the best way to go.
http://www.norml.org/

[suggums]

nice work, this is valuable info to remember, thanks for the update jeezis!

did you get the results of this final official test yet?

[Drunky McBetidont]

<p>a friend of mine had to take a piss test for a new job.&nbsp; <br /><br />You do not need to buy anything. Just stop smoking. Don't drink any sodas or anything w/ salt or sugar. A healthy diet for 10 days isnt a bad idea. and water.&nbsp;&nbsp; The trick is simply to flush you system. </p><p>Try to drink NOTHING but water until the day of the test. With a weeks worth of healthy eating - no fast foods and nothing too greasy. </p><p>If you can make your piss clear like water you are halfway there!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>you should be fine. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

those videos of the water drinking contest would be appropriate here for our buddays friend as he is drinking gallons a day.