Concerts Blow [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

Mgmt.Dan

03-04-2007, 04:28 PM

Check this out-  I went to a show this weekend and I was frisked getting in (as was everyone else). There was no smoking allowed in the venue, so if you wanted a cigarette or a joint you had to step outside and miss part of the show and even then you couldn’t stand under the marquee to smoke because that is against the law in NY, so the snow fell right on my little Short Story. During the 45 minute intermission there was an hour wait for beer and once you got to the beer counter you could only get 1 at a time unless you had the ID of the other person you were buying for. If you yourself wanted another drink it was back to the end of the line with you! There were cops in the parking lot checking everybody to make sure that there was no fun outside of the venue, either. The band didn’t come out again until 17 minutes after the crowd started chanting for them. I don’t have a big hit band, but I think that there is a lot of pressure on those fuckers now days. Is this all because of that silly little urban myth about a chick being raped with frozen dog shit? The whole experience reminded me of something from my youth, to wit: you are lonely and desperate in a bar and you find some fat, dumb chick who talks about how much she loves “Home Improvement” and the night is nearing its end so you say, “Yeah, I really love it, too!” and then you talk about her cat and her dead mother and how stupid and useless calculus is and as you sit in her parked car you reach under her belly-shelf to find the buttonfly on her jeans and she shouts out, “Oh! I only kiss on the first date!” And you just want to smash her face into the dashboard. It is 2:37am, you are not likely to meet another woman on the way home (well, not one without a cock), and you are left with a fat-cheeked henpeck. Fuck that. As I waited for the rent-a-cop to wave the traffic in and out of the parking lot with his slightly homosexual orange baton, I wondered why I hadn’t just stayed home with a spliff and a CD. My point is this: It occurs to me that before bands start complaining that illegal downloads are hurting them in the wallet, they might consider the fucking farce that their touring gigs have become.