How did you learn the art of the masturbation?

[LordJezo]

So my story goes like this..<br /><br />&nbsp;<br /><br />Way back when, sometime between the ages of 3rd grade and 6th grade I was staying over my grandparents house and flipping through the channels on the TV in the bedroom I was in.&nbsp; <br /><br />Oh?&nbsp; What's this?&nbsp; The Playboy channel!&nbsp; Well, the Playboy channel through the squiggly lines in the days before digital cable.&nbsp; After watching it for a long while I was able to make out the naked ladies and hear all the wonderful noises they were making.&nbsp; How amazing!&nbsp; Sure, the colors might have been in negative and you might have only made out a breast or a butt every few minutes, but for a young lad it was amazing.<br /><br />After doing this for a while I noticed that my hands had ventured down below and I was getting quite excited.&nbsp; If only I had a woman of my own to do the things I think they were doing on the TV.&nbsp; Maybe my hand could work, I should give it a try.&nbsp; Rounding up my fingers to make a nice 'hole' I put it up against the wall next to my bed and went to down.&nbsp; Yes, my first experience was to fuck a wall.&nbsp; But it worked, oh did it work.&nbsp; After some now forgotten amount of time I had a glorious explosion and I became addicted.<br /><br />&nbsp;<br /><br />Oh, the memories.

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>Where every parents fears...</p><p>THE STREET!</p>

[MrPink]

I was lookin at the lingerie women in a JC Penney catalog. I got a boner and started rubbin my dick with the palm of my hand. When I was about to cum, I thought I was gonna piss myself. My life started getting crazy after that moment.

[Ritalin]

<p>I'm going to let the Great One, Wayne Gretzky, answer that one for me (from his interview in Cigar Aficionado Magazine)</p><p>&quot;It's like me. Parents come up to me all the time and say, 'I've read your autobiography. I tell my son he's gotta practice, practice, practice. Will you talk to him?' I say, 'Hey listen, lady, it wasn't practice for me. I never one time got up on a Saturday morning and said, &quot;I gotta go practice for eight hours today.' If I would have thought that, I would never have gone on the ice! My friends would say, 'We're going to go watch a game or my dad is taking us here, what are you going to do?' 'I'm gonna go skate,' I'd say. I just loved it. I got up in the morning and went and did it. That's what God gave them, that's their gift. That's the extra special thing they have, the extra passion and love to want to excel.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[sr71blackbird]

Interesting topic.&nbsp; When I was very young and &quot;discovered&quot; it on my own, I had my own method of doing it, which involved rubbing the underside of the shaft with the back of my hand.&nbsp; I didnt know any better.&nbsp; But it worked.&nbsp; I had a friend and we were in his older brothers room and found some Penthouses and he pulls out his dick and pinches the skin on either side of the shaft with two hands and he does it that way....&nbsp; I never saw anyone else do it before.&nbsp; Later on at home I tried it his way and it didnt &quot;do it&quot; for me at all.&nbsp; A few weeks later yet another friend says he does it the conventional way with the hand gripped around it, sliding the lose skin.&nbsp; I know some guys will lotion up their hands and do it that way, essentially fucking their own hand, but I never did it that way.

[SatCam]

<strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br>Interesting topic. When I was very young and "discovered" it on my own, I had my own method of doing it, which involved rubbing the underside of the shaft with the back of my hand. I didnt know any better. But it worked. I had a friend and we were in his older brothers room and found some Penthouses and he pulls out his dick and pinches the skin on either side of the shaft with two hands and he does it that way.... I never saw anyone else do it before. Later on at home I tried it his way and it didnt "do it" for me at all. A few weeks later yet another friend says he does it the conventional way with the hand gripped around it, sliding the lose skin. I know some guys will lotion up their hands and do it that way, essentially fucking their own hand, but I never did it that way.<p></p>

tmi

[lleeder]

<font size="3">I'm not reading any posts in this thread until some ladies start posting in here.</font>

[shittyhambrgers]

<p>i used to climb up swingsets in the school playground (like the rope in gym class) and that felt like an orgasm.. so that's probably how i learned that that kind of movement feels good. my friend and i were discussing jerking off (around 11-12 years old maybe?) and he taught me about getting the excess cum out of my cock.</p><p>fun fact: just the other day i was trying to figure out why i like to give facials and i traced it back to when i'd jerk off to my dad's playboys, how i'd cum on the page. it's more about degradation now, but that's when i physically started doing it.</p><p>too much info?&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by shittyhambrgers on 3-4-07 @ 8:45 PM</span>

[TheMojoPin]

I started waaaaaaaaaaay late, I think.&nbsp; The first time I actively yanked the crank I was like 14, almost 15.&nbsp; There had been plenty of soggy sleeps up until that point, but I hadn't tried the manual release.&nbsp; I'm not sure why...I pretty much knew what it was, but I didn't try it until I was staying at&nbsp;some relatives' house and I was sleeping on the basement couch and discovered that they totally had one of those old school &quot;black boxes&quot; the descrambled pay cable.&nbsp; So the first&nbsp;time of gherkin jerkin' also was my first night of seeing real porn.&nbsp; I just sorta went with nature's urges, but man, when I, uh, &quot;peaked,&quot; I was fucking terrified.&nbsp; And since I really didn't know what would happen, the mess was epic.&nbsp; True shock and awe.

[weekapaugjz]

like many others in this thread, it was to scrambled porn in my basement.&nbsp; my tv got a really good reception on it and you could make out everything.&nbsp; got a raging hard on and it started rubbing up against my jeans.&nbsp; then started rubbing it through my jeans and couldn't believe something could feel that good.&nbsp; then whipped it and just went to town.&nbsp; i think i was a little young because nothing came out.&nbsp; it was summer between 6th and 7th grade.&nbsp; that began the addiction.

[FUNKMAN]

<p><strong><font size="1">How did you learn the art of the masturbation?</font></strong> </p><p><font size="3">IT'S AN ART???</font></p><p><font size="2">move over Picasso, Funkman's painting a masterpiece... ewww</font></p>

[Andomray]

Uhhh...I just masturbated to this thread.&nbsp; <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" width="18" height="22" />

[KC2OSO]

<strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br />I started waaaaaaaaaaay late, I think. The first time I actively yanked the crank I was like 14, almost 15. <p>&nbsp;17 here. Mondo late I guess.&nbsp; I've made up for it between then and now though.&nbsp; I've spilled my seed near and far across lands and fields in in the valleys and on the hills.&nbsp; A great love affair wirh me.&nbsp; My first g/f showed me.&nbsp; A late bloomer to say the least. </p>

[TheMojoPin]

<strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>TheMojoPin</strong> wrote:<br />I started waaaaaaaaaaay late, I think. The first time I actively yanked the crank I was like 14, almost 15. <p>&nbsp;17 here. Mondo late I guess.&nbsp; I've made up for it between then and now though.&nbsp; I've spilled my seed near and far across lands and fields in in the valleys and on the hills.&nbsp; A great love affair wirh me.&nbsp; My first g/f showed me.&nbsp; A late bloomer to say the least. </p><p>I made up for it by having sex for the first time just a little more than a year later.&nbsp; I was awful, but still...</p>

[PapaBear]

<p>I don't think of masturbation as something that's learned. It's like breathing. Now <em>perfecting </em>the act... that's a different story.</p>

[ralphbxny]

<p>Where are all the ladies!!!!</p><p>I learned the old fashion way in the shower!!!</p>

[TheMojoPin]

<p>I totally glossed over the fact that the first post was about fucking a wall.</p><p>FTW.</p>

[feralBoy]

I don't remember what age I was, but I remember the exact day I learned.&nbsp; I was watching the HBO comedy hour with billy connelly.&nbsp; And he did this bit about his friend teaching him to jerk off, and saying that after a 100 times it falls off.&nbsp; I was like, what the fuck is he talking about.&nbsp; So, I tried what he was talking about, and was like holy shit.&nbsp; So, I always say billy connelly taught me how to jerk off.&nbsp;

[narc]

<strong>feralBoy</strong> wrote:<br />I don't remember what age I was, but I remember the exact day I learned. I was watching the HBO comedy hour with billy connelly. And he did this bit about his friend teaching him to jerk off, and saying that after a 100 times it falls off. I was like, what the fuck is he talking about. So, I tried what he was talking about, and was like holy shit. So, I always say billy connelly taught me how to jerk off. <p>&nbsp;GHEY</p>

[BLZBUBBA]

First I learned how to get off in my dreams.&nbsp; Just have the right dream.&nbsp; Kinda messy and very embarrassing.&nbsp; But it took lesbian porn to make it a reliable standby while awake.&nbsp; I remember that first photo spread to this day.&nbsp; A hot student,&nbsp; and a hot but repressed librarian in the library after hours exploring each other.&nbsp;

[Marc with a c]

<p>sinners</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Marc with a c on 3-5-07 @ 4:17 PM</span>

[J.Clints]

Yhis is the gayest thread ever.

[TheMojoPin]

Yeah, jerking off is so fucking faggy.

[sr71blackbird]

Remember the first time you came?&nbsp; I was so suprised, and thought I dammaged myself!

[SarahImpact]

I figured it out&nbsp;all by myself.&nbsp; My mom told me that as a child I would always touch myself and she would tell me to stop.&nbsp; I never understood why I should, It felt good!!!&nbsp;

[reeshy]

I only started jerking off when I met Mojo on the board!!!!!

[AgnosticJihad]

<p>My first time involved a wall, but no porn. I was like&nbsp;9 or 10 at the time, and my next door neighbor was a woman (probably in her late thirties) who had some gargantuan breasts. I was walking past a window, and glanced out to see her watering her flowers in a bikini top and daisy dukes. Naturally I stoped&nbsp;to take a better look, and got hard. As I was leering through the blinds, my dick rubbed up against the wall. It felt good, so I kept on going. Eventually, I thought I was going to piss myself, so I ran to the bathroom. I stood over the toilet and tried to pee but couldn't. I don't remember if I actually came that day, but once I'd discovered this fun new activity, it was only a matter of time.</p><p>Fucked up thing is, it took me about a year (or maybe longer) to figure out I could use my hand. I would rub all manner of objects against my cock to get off. I found that furry things worked best. My favorites were a rabbit skin I would wrap around my dick and grip with my hand (how I learned I could just use my hand) and a1-foot tall&nbsp;ALF doll I would hug to my crotch and hump. </p><p>I've never told anyone this shit before, and still can't believe I'm posting it on here. Thank you anonymity!</p>

[Gaia]

Wow.

[weekapaugjz]

<strong>AgnosticJihad</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Fucked up thing is, it took me about a year (or maybe longer) to figure out I could use my hand. I would rub all manner of objects against my cock to get off. I found that furry things worked best. My favorites were a rabbit skin I would wrap around my dick and grip with my hand (how I learned I could just use my hand) and a1-foot tall ALF doll I would hug to my crotch and hump. </p><p>this is one of the funniest/disturbing things i have read in a while. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;im glad i never have to go into the house you grew up in.&nbsp; i bet everything in that place had your cock on it at one time.</p>

[AgnosticJihad]

<strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>AgnosticJihad</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Fucked up thing is, it took me about a year (or maybe longer) to figure out I could use my hand. I would rub all manner of objects against my cock to get off. I found that furry things worked best. My favorites were a rabbit skin I would wrap around my dick and grip with my hand (how I learned I could just use my hand) and a1-foot tall ALF doll I would hug to my crotch and hump. </p><p>this is one of the funniest/disturbing things i have read in a while. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;im glad i never have to go into the house you grew up in.&nbsp; i bet everything in that place had your cock on it at one time.</p><p>pretty much.</p>

[Fallon]

<strong>LordJezo</strong> wrote:<br />How did you learn the art of the masturbation? <p>&nbsp;YOU ALRIGHT! I learned it by watching you!!!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo</a>&nbsp;</p>