My Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue arrived today [Archive]

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Judge Smails

02-14-2007, 06:16 PM

So, what am I supposed to do with this thing?  Am I supposed to jack to it?  Because if I felt like jacking off, I have infinitely more interesting porn just a mouse click away.  Is anyone impressed by this thing anymore?Anywho, here's just a few of my observations:1) Beyonce is the covergirl.  Why?  I don't know. I thought this is supposed to be the single most coveted Supermodel gig.  She's definitely smokin', but looks downwright obese compared to the other waifs in there.2) The gimmick this year is that its "The Music Issue" so they've posed some of the eye candy next to music celebrities.  The Aerosmith photo looks like a bunch of grandpas stumbled into one of their granddaughter's pool parties.  The Kanye West photo can only be described as an evidence photo of a rape in progress. And Panic! At The Disco just exudes gayness despite the fact that they're standing next to an almost naked woman.3) There's an interesting 3D section, complete with free glasses to wear.  But how pathetic do I feel sitting in my den wearing my cardboard GMC glasses staring at 3D boobies.4)  There are at least four different cologne ads, each with its own peel and smell sample which you can still smell even without peeling.  The smells are all overpowering and cancel each other out.  I've got a headache just being in the same room with this thing.  It's like being trapped in an IROC with four paisans.5) Finally, a hearty FUCK YOU to Direct TV which thought it would be funny to include a three page fold out advertisement of a completely naked Burt Reynolds from his historic Cosmopolitan photo shoot.  That's just what I want to be looking at while I got some wood.

Gvac

02-14-2007, 06:47 PM

I've been thoroughly disappointed in the SI swimsuit issue for at least the past 5 years.  I have every one from the past 25 years, though, so I'll probably buy this one too.  Too bad some wack job decided anorexic girls were hot.

Fallon

02-14-2007, 07:15 PM

She does look good, but why not go with someone new? Beyonce is on every cover.<img src="http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/9933/2030be7kx6.jpg" border="0" />

FUNKMAN

02-14-2007, 07:21 PM

I've never bought one and seen a few, they do nothing for me except maybe the Ireland girl back when. However  Beyonce is one Hot light-skinned black woman.

PapaBear

02-14-2007, 07:46 PM

Here you go Funkster. I got her autograph for you.<img src="http://www.tias.com/stores/stricklersports/pictures/5167a.jpg" border="0" width="247" height="300" />

mikeyboy

02-14-2007, 07:55 PM

My greatest Swimsuit Issue memory is the Cheryl Tiegs fishnet suit pic from the early 80s.  As a pre-adolescent, that was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen.

Death Metal Moe

02-14-2007, 07:57 PM

Beyonce is so over exposed.  Getting kind of sick of her.Kathy Ireland was always the fave in SI for me.  Too bad she's a drooling retard.

PapaBear

02-14-2007, 07:58 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: Beyonce is so over exposed.  Getting kind of sick of her.Kathy Ireland was always the fave in SI for me.  Too bad she's a drooling retard.Too bad, or too good?

Kevin

02-14-2007, 07:59 PM

TheMojoPin

02-14-2007, 08:00 PM

She's pretty obnoxious now, but I remember when Tyra first showed up in SI it led to much jerkin' of the gherkin'.

Judge Smails

02-14-2007, 08:01 PM

mikeyboy wrote: My greatest Swimsuit Issue memory is the Cheryl Tiegs fishnet suit pic from the early 80s.  As a pre-adolescent, that was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen. Here ya go.  Something to help you get to sleep.  Though, looking at her crotch:  I think that's a man, baby!<img src="http://www.lukeisback.com/images/images/cheryltiegs1.jpg" border="0" width="252" height="464" />

This message was edited by Judge Smails on 2-15-07 @ 12:02 AM

Death Metal Moe

02-14-2007, 08:03 PM

TheMojoPin wrote: She's pretty obnoxious now, but I remember when Tyra first showed up in SI it led to much jerkin' of the gherkin'. Tyra is still hot now.  I laugh at the O&A attack on her, but she's not fat, she's like normal now compared to her underweight model look.I'd still knock the bottom out of that.

TheMojoPin

02-14-2007, 08:06 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: TheMojoPin wrote: She's pretty obnoxious now, but I remember when Tyra first showed up in SI it led to much jerkin' of the gherkin'. Tyra is still hot now.  I laugh at the O&A attack on her, but she's not fat, she's like normal now compared to her underweight model look.I'd still knock the bottom out of that.So would I, but back then, she was "pure."  None of the annoying drivel we have to suffer through now.  She was such a welcome change of pace from most of the ye olde white waifs that took up the pages.

Gvac

02-15-2007, 02:33 AM

Elle MacPherson was always my favorite back in the day.In fact she returned a couple of years ago, and at 40 she was still hotter than the skanks in the rest of the mag.

A.J.

02-15-2007, 05:11 AM

mikeyboy wrote: My greatest Swimsuit Issue memory is the Cheryl Tiegs fishnet suit pic from the early 80s.  As a pre-adolescent, that was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen. Oh, how I (repeatedly) enjoyed this issue.<img src="http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:oqk91aIw_KHC7M:http://users.ev1.net/~hlsports/021483.JPG" border="0" width="86" height="119" /><img src="http://photos.imageevent.com/djnuggins/djsbabehalloffame/icons/Cheryl%20Tiegs%20tied%20for%20most%20votes%202004. jpg" border="0" width="169" height="127" />

This message was edited by A.J. on 2-15-07 @ 9:13 AM

JPMNICK

02-15-2007, 05:15 AM

I think Kathy Ireland was my favorite of all time too. Also, I am going to wait for fallon to post the links / PDF's to the newest SI issue

Meve

02-15-2007, 05:28 AM

Death Metal Moe

02-15-2007, 05:50 AM

TheMojoPin wrote: Death Metal Moe wrote: TheMojoPin wrote: She's pretty obnoxious now, but I remember when Tyra first showed up in SI it led to much jerkin' of the gherkin'. Tyra is still hot now.  I laugh at the O&A attack on her, but she's not fat, she's like normal now compared to her underweight model look.I'd still knock the bottom out of that.So would I, but back then, she was "pure."  None of the annoying drivel we have to suffer through now.  She was such a welcome change of pace from most of the ye olde white waifs that took up the pages.Very true.  I don't know why but for me, when I find out a girl is annoying or a complete retard, she becomes less hot in my mind.  I mean she really shouldn't because I know I'll never meet any of them let alone have a chance, but their stock goes WAAAAAAAAY down for me.

Don Stugots

02-15-2007, 01:29 PM

PapaBear wrote: Death Metal Moe wrote: Beyonce is so over exposed. Getting kind of sick of her.Kathy Ireland was always the fave in SI for me. Too bad she's a drooling retard.Too bad, or too good? much gooder.

keithy_19

02-15-2007, 01:37 PM

I got mine today. I'd have a field day with any of the girls in there.  I get lonely...

cougarjake13

02-15-2007, 03:33 PM

definitely kathy ireland

lleeder

02-15-2007, 03:36 PM

Judge Smails wrote: mikeyboy wrote: My greatest Swimsuit Issue memory is the Cheryl Tiegs fishnet suit pic from the early 80s.  As a pre-adolescent, that was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen. Here ya go.  Something to help you get to sleep.  Though, looking at her crotch:  I think that's a man, baby!<img src="http://www.lukeisback.com/images/images/cheryltiegs1.jpg" border="0" width="252" height="464" />This message was edited by Judge Smails on 2-15-07 @ 12:02 AM Whats that a pad?

cougarjake13

02-15-2007, 03:38 PM

lleeder wrote: Judge Smails wrote: mikeyboy wrote: My greatest Swimsuit Issue memory is the Cheryl Tiegs fishnet suit pic from the early 80s.  As a pre-adolescent, that was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen. Here ya go.  Something to help you get to sleep.  Though, looking at her crotch:  I think that's a man, baby!<img src="http://www.lukeisback.com/images/images/cheryltiegs1.jpg" border="0" width="252" height="464" />This message was edited by Judge Smails on 2-15-07 @ 12:02 AM Whats that a pad?                           its either a serious bush or a cock

JPMNICK

02-15-2007, 04:10 PM

Meve wrote: <img src="http://images.appleinsider.com/07_mmiller_27.jpg" border="0" width="680" height="500" /> she must have a hairy  bush or else they would have used the nano

cougarjake13

02-15-2007, 04:22 PM

JPMNICK wrote: Meve wrote: <img src="http://images.appleinsider.com/07_mmiller_27.jpg" border="0" width="680" height="500" /> she must have a hairy  bush or else they would have used the nanomaybe an enlarged labia ?????/

JimBeam

02-15-2007, 04:47 PM

Meve fantasic post.JP outstanding follow-up. I'm still laughing at that oneMarisa Miller is currently the hottest girl in the universe in my opinion.Flawless !!She surely should've been on the cover.I can only imagine how much airbrushing they did with Beyonce.They did a good job of hiding her receding hairline.

drjoek

02-16-2007, 11:14 AM

The first time I ever jacked was to the cover of the 1975 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue with Cheryl Tiegs in a green bikini in the water in Jamaica. i still remember it like it was yesterday. Like Brooklyn Decker in this new issue though she hot but Im too old to batch over SI anymore. Ill leave that to my teenage son. Carry on his old mans legacy  WWRD