let's create the perfect evil genius/criminal mastermind

[eggers]

"clear and present danger" - john jay

a lot of bad things have happened lately. for those who have not heard already, the world trade center is gone, the threat of bioterrorism is real, and our beloved hollywood heroes are so depressed that the motion picture industry has come to a standstill!

dam the terrorists; full speed ahead! make those dam movies already - i want to laugh, i want to cry, i want to spend my ten bucks at the ticket window dam it.

so... i think... there should be a movie made promoting the american effort against evil. but what is evil and who personifies it best? here, below, i have created the perfect evil genius/criminal mastermind. i demand that a movie is made [now], where the forces of good (U.S.A. and Great Britatin) defeat the evil genius/criminal mastermind that i have created. i suggest that ed nortan plays the American President, demi moore plays the British Prime Minister (let's pretend that toni blair is female), and johnny depp plays the liason between the American President and the British Prime Minister (like al dukes is the liason between ron, fez, and jeremy coleman!).

so here is my evil genius/crimnical mastermind:

- the people skills of dr. evil (from the movie austin powers)

- the charisma of nappolean (former king of france).

- the stealth of the shark (from the movie jaws).

- the quick wit of ikeaboy (from ronfez.net)

- the tennacity of girl girms (from ronfez.net)

- the detication of fidel castro (dictator of cuba)

- the money of osama bin laden (rogue saudi prince).

- the teeth of lex luther (nemesis of superman).

- the brains of costanza (from the yankees).

- the mass of billy staples (from the ron and fez show).

- the charm of tyler derkin (from the movie fightclub).

- the strength of hollywood hulk hogan (from the nWo).

- the humility of joe jr. (from kids fightclub).

so, basically, the jobber will be cast as my evil genius/criminal mastermind.

thank you, good luck, and god bless america,
jim eggers

... and as of yesterday, i'm technically no longer a virgin!

[eggers]

oh, i almost forgot:

- the hair of roger maris (former home run record holder).

- the energy of ben johnson (disqualified one hundred meter runner).

- the speed of jeff gordan (nemesis of an american hero).

- the luck of hugh heffner (from the playboy mansion).

- the face of donald trump (from yankees-athletics games 3-4)

- the organizational skills of al dukes (from the ron and fez show).

eggers

... and as of yesterday, i'm technically no longer a virgin!

[IkeaBoy]

Would you like to be Otis eggers?

And his name is Tyler Durden

-----
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Pro-War NYU Student. We're not all peace fags.
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[Charlie The Drops Kid]

- the many voices of....ME

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[Noellevious]

- the strength of hollywood hulk hogan (from the nWo).


Does he get to wear the cool lightning bolt tights too?

And his name is Tyler Durden

Thank you.

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One Nation...Indivisible.

I've loved you forever...in lifetimes before...
11. 2. 01.

[TheGameHHH]

Does anybody else get a headache from reading eggers posts???

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

[girl germs]

<i>- the tennacity of girl girms (from ronfez.net)</i>

it's girl germs! not girl girms.

thank you.


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[MightyMatt]

the Green Goblin


AND THAT'S ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT
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[eggers]

ok, here are the characters for our little movie that will inspire us all:
- ed nortan, as the american president.
- demi moore, as the british prime minister.
- johnny depp, as the liason between the american president and the british prime minister.
- the jobber, as himself, the perfect evil genius/criminal mastermind.

SCENE 1 (Oval Office, Washington DC).

American President: So, here's why I think the fact that the Arizona Diamondbacks winning the World Series is a good thing for baseball: a) they are not from New York, and b) they are from Arizona.

Britsh Prime Minster: Very good George W. Back in England we have a saying about the Yankees and how much they suck; we are in agreement! So, do you want to know how I got breasts so big or what?

AP: I'd rather talk about baseball and/or Texas.

Liason Between American President and British Prime Minister: I'm sorry to interrupt you guys...

AP: What is it man, what is it?

LBAPABPM: Bad news from the middle east.

BPM: The middle east as in the region between Europe and Asia, encompassing four thousand square miles, and containing twenty find percent of the earth's oil reserve?

LBAPABPM: Yes, that middle east, that one.

AP: Is Saddam up to his old tricks again? I told dadday way back when to get rid of him once and for all, but did he listen? No. Daddy just told me to be quiet and stand in the corner. But who's standing now, huh? Who's standing now... what were we talking about?

BPM: Someting happened in the middle east and our liason is about to break the news to us. Go ahead liason.

LBAPABPM: What? What?

BPM: Stop staring at my luscious breasts, and tell us what happened.

LBAPABPM: It's the jobber!

AP: MY GOODNESS GOD OF BASEBALL'S HEAVEN!

BPM: OH MY F-ING STRIPPER GOD!

L: The jobber is on the other line. He has politely asked me to transfer him to you two. So, here is the jobber!

The Jobber: What's going on guys?

and here is where scene one ends, leaving us all in suspense of scene two and other scenes that will follow scene one.

i give permission to ikeaboy and any other tischis out there to go ahead on this script asap. it's for our country dam it! the war effort needs our help and it is our god given f-ing duty to support the war effort.

also, note to contact my representative in regards to royalty issues (as i was a sterny, i of course will not let a money-generating idea become unyielding).

anyway, stay tuned for more scenes. and i need suggestions... please!

thank you, good luck, and god bless america,
jim eggers

... and as of yesterday, i'm technically no longer a virgin!

[TomPoo]

If you are going to include board members in this dicussion lets not leave out pootertoot and sunndoggy.

They have one hell of a plan to take of the world... i think it involved retards and monkees.

I know that thread is somewhere in the archives

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[Gwen]

We are all stupider having just read this thread.

<b>In a last-ditch effort to get Lou to finish my new sig I've reverted back to this one!</b>
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If you put a tin can to your ear, you can hear the subway - deez

[Captain Rooster]

We are all stupider having just read this thread.


It was all clicks and buzzes after the first three words babs

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[eggers]

time-out. redo (i didn't like my previous script and i can do as i wish here at work because no one is looking).

SCENE 1 (Oval Office, Washington DC).

It's a fine and proud day here in Washington, where world leaders have come to celebrate wednesday. That's right it's wednesday... the one special day of the week where wonderful things happen. It's wednesday, and everyone is happy!

At the Oval Office, President Bush is lulling over the day's magnificent events with his British counterpart Toni Blair (the second female Prime Minister Britain has had).

"My oh my, what a beautiful day," says Bush.

"We rarely have beautiful days like this in London where most of the girls have rather small breasts or could not afford to get larger breasts," remarks the bombacious Prime Minister.

And the two just sit back and gaze at the scene and the scenery, when, out of no where, the White House fire alarm sounds.

"Dam Cheney and his flaming heart," yells Bush.

"What is it? What's going on? And who's touching my breasts?" asks Blair.

Out of the midst appears a light... and here comes the jobber!

"What's going on guys?"

"Oh no, it's the jobber, an evil genius and a criminal mastermind, oh no!"

"What do you want jobber? Why are you here and what do you want?" asks Bush and Blair together, as if they were once in the same chorus.

----to be continues in an hour

eggers

... and as of yesterday, i'm technically no longer a virgin!

[Pootertoot]

No one will suspect that my monkeys could take over the plane...why would they ever suspect the monkey...?

MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Censored, Because I'm a Responsible Moderator, who fucks children in the ass.

[reeshy]

Go Away, Eggers!! Go listen to D&M!!

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I'm Not Sure If This Is Me!

This message was edited by reeshy on 11-5-01 @ 10:46 AM

[Sheeplovr]

Do you post this on like 7 other Message boards it like you think about it so long and there so much and i dont get it

number 333 its the way to be
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POWER AND CHAOS