I loathe Alton Brown...and Jimmy Buffett

[narc]

<p>I have no idea why I loathe Alton Brown, but everytime I see him on the Food Network I just want to punch him right in the fucking face. I think part of it is that I've never seen him cook anything tasty, yet he's on the food network. One time I saw him make popcorn. That's right, popcorn. I'm sure it was fancy food network popcorn, but it's still fucking popcorn. Who gives a rat's ass?</p><p>My hatred for Jimmy Buffett is much deeper. I hate him with my soul. I also hate his fanbase of retarded parrotheads, who as far as I can tell, consist of southern fratboys and the aging douche/soulless management types. He has awful restaurants and his own plane, yet pretends to be an everyman root for the little guy musician. Sit on a dick faggot. </p><p><img src="http://www.mv.com/ipusers/matterhorn/Parrot/parrotheads.jpeg" border="0" width="600" height="400" /></p><p><img src="http://www.linuxgreenhouse.org/blog/tim/midcom-admin/ais/midcom-serveattachment-15457/parrotheads.jpg" border="0" width="439" height="258" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>ech!! I think I'm going to vomit.....</p>

[K.C.]

I'm 100% with you on Jimmy Buffett.

[Tall_James]

I'm a reformed Buffet fan.&nbsp; Now all I want to do is punch these fucking parrotheads in the throat.

[BoondockSaint]

I like Alton.&nbsp; Jimmy I don't mind but his fans drive me nuts.&nbsp; It's not bad to listen to when you're sitting on the beach somewhere with a&nbsp;woman while putting away a few drinks.&nbsp; I'd never go see a concert, though.

[Snacks]

<strong>K.C.</strong> wrote:<br />I'm 100% with you on Jimmy Buffett. <p>I will back you on the jimmy buffett but alton brown is great.</p><p>the bug question is do you hate them both but still find them sexy?</p>

[narc]

<p>More annoying pictures of parrotheads:</p><p><img src="http://www.pbase.com/awwwdamn/image/34128587/medium.jpg" border="0" width="400" height="300" /></p><p><img src="http://www.mindspring.com/~salted1/images/Buffett/Parrothead_Group_Web.jpg" border="0" width="596" height="480" /></p><p><img src="http://www.theparrotheads.com/p7hg_img_2/fullsize/Jenny_Foxx_WEZF_and_Parrotheads2_Burlington,_VT_20 05_fs.jpg" border="0" width="640" height="480" /></p>

[Fez4PrezN2008]

<p>Welcome back narc ! We have not heard from you in a while.</p><p>I can't really agree w/ you on your disdane for Alton and Jimmy though. I had like every Buffet album when I was a kid and I kinda like Alton because he's nerdy like me. At least his cooking show is better than that damn Semi-Homemade chick who opens a box of mac n' cheese and says its her recipe. I don't listen to so much of the Jimmy anymore but would if I were bored. Hopefully you do not want to punch me in the throat by association. (There are probably pently of other reasons though) </p><p><font color="#ffffff">I got nothin</font></p>

[narc]

<strong>Fez4PrezN2008</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Welcome back narc ! We have not heard from you in a while.</p><p>I can't really agree w/ you on your disdane for Alton and Jimmy though. I had like every Buffet album when I was a kid and I kinda like Alton because he's nerdy like me. At least his cooking show is better than that damn Semi-Homemade chick who opens a box of mac n' cheese and says its her recipe. I don't listen to so much of the Jimmy anymore but would if I were bored. Hopefully you do not want to punch me in the throat by association. (There are probably pently of other reasons though) </p><p><font color="#ffffff">I got nothin</font></p><p>I think that is why I hate Alton. He's just a nerd with a cooking show, but the food he makes isn't particularly appetizing to me. Besides the popcorn I've really only seen him make like roasts and casseroles which aren't exactly things I crave. For my Food Network pleasure, I'd prefer the chef to either be a.) hot or b.) able to make delicious food. Since I've never seen Alton do either, that makes me feel like the entire time he's on the channel is a waste. And I don't really care about the food or dish&nbsp;much aside from how it tastes in my mouth. If it was something like Puttanesca that was traditionally eaten by whores, that might be cool to know, but other than that, my interest is mostly confined to&nbsp;how delicious or filling it is. </p><p>And Fez4Prez, maybe this is why I loathe you as well. Just kidding...(maybe).&nbsp;</p>

[Tall_James]

I loathe Rachel Ray....and Dave Matthews.

[Reephdweller]

Im with you on the Jimmy Buffett side, though I love Alton Brown. I've seen him make a hell of a lot more than popcord and he explains things very well. I've also made a few pretty decent meals off of watching him on Good Eats.

[sailor]

<font size="2">i like buffett, but his fan base has a lot of tools in it.&nbsp; i thought i was the only person who didn't like alton.&nbsp; he's a smarmy, pseudo-nerd (his persona is so calculated it's silly).&nbsp; he brings nothing to the table except lame jokes.&nbsp; people LOVE him on here tho'.&nbsp; i just don't get it. </font>

[BoondockSaint]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br />I loathe Rachel Ray....and <strong>Dave Matthews.</strong> <p>Now I'm insulted.</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>BoondockSaint</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br />I loathe Rachel Ray....and <strong>Dave Matthews.</strong> <p>Now I'm insulted.</p><p>It's more of a dislike to the members of his fanbase who incessantly tell me why he's the greatest thing ever and pester me to listen.</p><p>That and his tour bus unloaded a tankful of shit and piss onto a bunch of people on a boat in Chicago.&nbsp; Actually, that made me like him a little more.</p>

[BoondockSaint]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>BoondockSaint</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br />I loathe Rachel Ray....and <strong>Dave Matthews.</strong> <p>Now I'm insulted.</p><p>It's more of a dislike to the members of his fanbase who incessantly tell me why he's the greatest thing ever and pester me to listen.</p><p>That and his tour bus unloaded a tankful of shit and piss onto a bunch of people on a boat in Chicago.&nbsp; Actually, that made me like him a little more.</p><p>I understand.&nbsp; I didn't like him until I got free tickets to see him at Jones Beach in '95(?) It was such a great show that I probably saw him 50 times the next 7 years.&nbsp; I haven't seen him in a few years.&nbsp; But i understand what you mean about the crowd.&nbsp; It's all 18 to 23 year old frat guys and their girlfriends.&nbsp; I was the 28 year old Slayer fan in the crowd, but, shit their show was awsome.</p>

[Ritalin]

<p>Ok, let's start with the given: Jimmy Buffett fans are buffoons and posers in creased blue jeans and stupid hats. Is that Jimmy's fault? I'm not a JB defender, but a dollar is a dollar. What is he supposed to do? Tell those stupid suburbanites to go home? He's found an audience. Why wouldn't he keep them?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Alton Brown? Who the hell is that? And Rachel Ray? I wouldn't fuck her with Don Stugots' dick.&nbsp;</p>

[narc]

<p>I also feel the same way about Rachael Ray and her dirty whorish mouth. I've never seen her cook anything good. She made some pork monstrosity the other night that sounded awful. </p><p>And I also get the sense that she likes to suck a lot of dick.</p>

[weekapaugjz]

<strong>narc</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I also feel the same way about Rachael Ray and her dirty whorish mouth. I've never seen her cook anything good. She made some pork monstrosity the other night that sounded awful. </p><p style="background-color: #999999">And I also get the sense that she likes to suck a lot of dick.</p><p>&nbsp;you took the words right out of my mouth, about halfway through the first sentence, that was all i wanted to say </p>

[ralphbxny]

<p>I hate alton brown, but I watch Iron chef. I cant watch his show tho. </p><p>Jimmy Buffet I have no opinion on his music cause I dont listen to him, but his restaurants STINK!</p><p>Rachel Ray is very annoying but I cant stop watchin and thinkin of the horrible things I want to do to her. Plus she is cheap and looks slutty...and I love it!</p>

[sailor]

<strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>narc</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I also feel the same way about Rachael Ray and her dirty whorish mouth. I've never seen her cook anything good. She made some pork monstrosity the other night that sounded awful. </p><p style="background-color: #999999">And I also get the sense that she likes to suck a lot of dick.</p><p> you took the words right out of my mouth, about halfway through the first sentence, that was all i wanted to say </p><p>&nbsp;<font size="2">you people are acting like that's a bad thing.&nbsp; what are you a bunch of homos?<br /></font></p>

[KC2OSO]

<p>I miss the two fat ladies:<br /><img src="http://www.optomen.com/images/pic18.jpg" border="0" width="155" height="115" /> They never cooked anything particularly appetizing either as far as I can recall but the show was great anyway.&nbsp; Alton is ok with me although he had satanic puppets in his 'fridge once that scared the hell out of my son.&nbsp;&nbsp; Jimmy Buffet can go ride a cheeseburger to hell.</p>

[angrymissy]

I love Alton.&nbsp; He got me interested in cooking.

[reillyluck]

not a jimmy buffet fan, but i do love those mini burgers from Cheeseburger in Paradise!

[narc]

<strong>sailor</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>narc</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I also feel the same way about Rachael Ray and her dirty whorish mouth. I've never seen her cook anything good. She made some pork monstrosity the other night that sounded awful. </p><p style="background-color: #999999">And I also get the sense that she likes to suck a lot of dick.</p><p>you took the words right out of my mouth, about halfway through the first sentence, that was all i wanted to say </p><p>&nbsp;<font size="2">you people are acting like that's a bad thing.&nbsp; what are you a bunch of homos?<br /></font></p><p>Sucking a lot of my dick = Very good thing</p><p>Sucking a lot of dick = generally a bad thing</p>

[Tazz]

Althon Brown isn't all about the quality of the food, it's about learning the science behind the food. And it's one of the best shows on TV.

[Jujubees2]

<strong>Tazz</strong> wrote:<br />Althon Brown isn't all about the quality of the food, it's about learning the science behind the food. And it's one of the best shows on TV. <p><font size="2">Amen.&nbsp; I love Alton.&nbsp; He does a great job at explaining why culinary things happen and how to prevent bad things from happening.&nbsp; As opposed to the&nbsp;no talent Rachel Ray who sits on her arse and tells us how good all the food she orders is.&nbsp; Just once I would love to see her take a&nbsp;bite and spit it back onto the plate.</font>&nbsp;</p>

[Stankfoot]

<p>Parrotheads are corporate VPs who think taking limos to Buffet concerts is how to rock out!</p><p><img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a350/stankfoot/4parrotheads.jpg" border="0" /></p><p><img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a350/stankfoot/parrothead.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Ogre]

I went to one Jimmy Buffett concert and that's all it took.&nbsp; It was something akin to the bar scene at St. Patrick's day or New Years Eve.&nbsp; A bunch of assholes that think that think getting obnoxiously piss drunk and acting like an asshole is the definition of havin a good time.&nbsp; The majority of people that I witnessed seemed to be a bunch of self important &quot;me first&quot; corporate jack offs that would not&nbsp;know good music if it bit them in the ass.&nbsp; I went with a group that all rode in a large van/mini bus.&nbsp; This of course was a permission slip to get incredibly wasted to the point of vomiting.&nbsp; There is nothing more unattractive than a middle aged soccer mom wacked out of her skull and pissing herself.&nbsp; There were two in my &quot;group&quot; that fit this description.&nbsp; This was a &quot;company&quot; trip that we sponsored when I worked for a distributor that sold Corona.&nbsp; I was never more embarrased to be with a group of people in my life.&nbsp; I could not wait for the roadtrip from hell to finish that night.&nbsp; The one highlight was when one of the 40 something greybeards that was acting like an asshole, had his grass skirt lit on fire.&nbsp; He looked like Gilligan running for the lagoon.&nbsp; I laughed and laughed.&nbsp; Served the dickface right.&nbsp; Ever since then I cringe when ever Jimmy's dumbfuck lemmings gather for his summer concert stop here at the Nissan Pavillion. (very close to my house)&nbsp; In Mr. Buffett's defense though, it is not his fault that his fan base are a bunch of inbred asswhistles.&nbsp; Man's gotta eat. &nbsp;Wow I did not realize the pent up disdain I had for&nbsp;the &quot;Parrotheads&quot;&nbsp;until I started typing.&nbsp; Parrotheads, how appropriate.&nbsp; Just Parroting what is fed to them, not an original thought in the group.&nbsp; Fucktards....I feel better.&nbsp;

[burrben]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br />I loathe Rachel Ray....and Dave Matthews. <p>i'm so with you</p>

[keithy_19]

<p>I'd sleep with Rachel Ray in a heart beat though.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>