Seriously, what was with porn in the woods?

[RapistWit]

<font face="Helv" size="2"><p>When I was a kid my buddies and I would constantly find porn in the woods around our houses. At the time I thought it was natural...as if it grew from the trees and wafted down in the fall. Years after I would talk to guys from all over this fine nation. One common thread united us all - we all had found porn mags in the woods at some time during our childhood. Some of us were cool about it (me). Others were not (my best friend who told him mom about it who in turn told my mom about it). Who put it there? Older kids hiding it from their parents? Pervs hoping to lure children into the woods? Elves? </p></font>

[SouthSideJohnny]

<strong>RapistWit</strong> wrote:<br /><font face="Helv" size="2"><p>Others were not (my best friend who told him mom about it who in turn told my mom about it).&nbsp; </p></font><p>&nbsp;Sounds like your friend was 1/2 a fag.</p>

[Furtherman]

<p>I too found magazines in the woods.</p><p>With the internet today, the woods are most likely porn-free.</p><p>The older kids would buy it, and look at it, but probably didn't want to hide it at home, because Moms always find those things when cleaning the room.&nbsp; So they couldn't hide it in their rooms - where else to hide it?&nbsp; Where you can show it off - where you drink - the woods.</p>

[KC2OSO]

<p><img src="http://www.infopackets.com/graphics/woodsy+the+owl.gif" border="0" width="115" height="160" /></p><p>Give a HOOT! Don't throw your porn in the woods!</p><p>Edit: Woodsy sort of looks like ESD.&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by KC2OSO on 12-5-06 @ 4:02 PM</span>

[EliSnow]

<strong>RapistWit</strong> wrote:<br /><font face="Verdana" size="1" color="#000000"><p><strong>Seriously, what was with porn in the woods?</strong></p></font><p><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="3">Because that is where the kid touchers were.</font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by EliSnow on 12-5-06 @ 4:00 PM</span>

[Judge Smails]

<strong>EliSnow</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>RapistWit</strong> wrote:<br /><font face="Verdana" size="1" color="#000000"><p><strong>Seriously, what was with porn in the woods?</strong></p></font><p><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="3">Because that is where the kid touchers were.</font></p><span class="post_edited">This message was edited by EliSnow on 12-5-06 @ 4:00 PM</span> <p>Tell me about it.&nbsp; My firends and I used to climb a six foot fence in order to play football on the monestary grounds.&nbsp; It was the only open field available to us city boys.&nbsp; One day the ball goes into some bushes and my friend goes in after it.&nbsp; He then drags out a huge cardboard box full of porn.&nbsp; It was the single greatest day of our young lives as we divided up the &quot;booty&quot;.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Furtherman]

<strong>Judge Smails</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Tell me about it.&nbsp; My firends and I used to climb a six foot fence in order to play football on the monestary grounds.&nbsp; </p><p>A monestary?&nbsp; Did you grow up in Nepal?</p>

[Marc with a c]

<p><strong><font size="1">Seriously, what was with porn in the woods?</font></strong> </p><p>was?</p>

[jsmigley]

<strong>I think it was put there by perverts, who didn't want thier wives to find it.</strong>

[kevcala]

<p>My friends and I found our first porn blowing around up against the fences doen 1st street park in Bayonne.&nbsp; I guess that's as close to the woods us downtown boys could get.</p><p>The thing was, we didn't find whole magazines, just a whole bunch of ripped up pages. &nbsp;</p><p>Man, what a day.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.&nbsp;</p><p>Quick sidenote, we also once found a case of bottled beer, unopnened, at the same park.&nbsp; I don't remember how old, but we must have been pretty young, because instead of drinking it, we threw it against the rocks cause it looked cool.&nbsp; I bet some teenagers were pissed off that night.&nbsp;</p>

[Furtherman]

<strong>kevcala</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Quick sidenote, we also once found a case of bottled beer, unopnened, at the same park.&nbsp; I don't remember how old, but we must have been pretty young, because instead of drinking it, we threw it against the rocks cause it looked cool.&nbsp; I bet some teenagers were pissed off that night.&nbsp;</p><p>*GASP*</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>When we would find the teenagers' stash, especially in the winter when it was cold, it was, like, the best thing EVER!&nbsp; </p>

[Fezticle98]

<p>So true. Me, my brothers, and some friends found a shitload of porn mags in the woods while building a &quot;fort.&quot; We were living on a Navy base, so I assumed it was the sailors who stashed it there. It was a bunch of Playboys, as I recall, early 1980's vintage. It was the first porn I had ever seen. What a beautiful sight it was.</p><p>As a bonus, I would sometimes find beer in the dunes at the beach and sell it to my older brother.</p>

[led37zep]

If I venture into the woods near my dads house I still find porn that kids are stashing out there. It probably has something to do with the inner caveman in us, hiding our most prized possesions where we think nobody will find them...deep into the woods.

[Judge Smails]

<strong>Furtherman</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Judge Smails</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Tell me about it.&nbsp; My firends and I used to climb a six foot fence in order to play football on the monestary grounds.&nbsp; </p><p>A monestary?&nbsp; Did you grow up in Nepal?</p><p>Nope.&nbsp; Union City, NJ.&nbsp; They've since closed down the monestary and built condos there.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[SatCam]

You find porn in the woods because that's where the devil worshipers hang out

[Marc with a c]

<strong>Judge Smails</strong> wrote: <p>Nope.&nbsp; Union City, NJ.&nbsp; They've since closed down the monestary and built condos there. </p><p>you should've been in chat last night, you would've fit right in.</p><p>fucking jersey</p>

[mikeyboy]

We used to find porn in the woods when I was a kid too.&nbsp; Most of the time we'd find it after a rainstorm, so you would have soaking wet porn that you would haul back to whatever you were using as a fort.&nbsp; We tended not to find the more mainstream mags like Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler (or even OUI), but rather shitty low circulation magazines focusing on women with massive tits or on various fetishes.

[Fezticle98]

<p>Hmm, my&nbsp;1st and 700th&nbsp;posts on ronfez.net were both&nbsp;about porn. I'm sensing a pattern here.</p><p><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/viewmessages.cfm/CurrentPage/8/forum/80/Topic/47000/RequestTimeout/500">http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/viewmessages.cfm/CurrentPage/8/forum/80/Topic/47000/RequestTimeout/500</a></p>

[Hottub]

but rather shitty low circulation magazines focusing on women with massive tits or on various fetishes. <p></p><p>Even as a child you were a porn snob. When we were kids, finding anything resembling porn in the woods was like finding lost treasure. Swank, Oui, and some British imports too. The big kids would keep it stashed in their forts. We would get in early, swipe the smut, and bring it back to our fort.</p>

[RapistWit]

<strong>SatCam</strong> wrote:<br />You find porn in the woods because that's where the devil worshipers hang out <p>Haha yea that was another thing we would look around for. The telltale signs of satanic rituals. <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/devil2.gif" border="0" width="25" height="23" /></p><p>&nbsp;Yea mikeyboy I remember seeing those porn mags after some huge rainstorm. Me and my buddies would be like &quot;it's still good, it's still good&quot; and feverishly working to lay it out in the sun to dry. </p><p>Remember that Simpsons episode where Bart, Millhouse and the nerd all go in on Radioactive Man #1 and each one can't trust the other? I swear that could have been me and my friends in our dumb pallet fort. Each unwilling to leave the stash with anyone else. </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by RapistWit on 12-5-06 @ 5:37 PM</span>

[PapaBear]

<p>Who put it there?</p><p>I did, and I don't appreciate you little punks, pilfering my porn!</p>

[Sassacus]

Finding porn in the woods is right there between busting open spraypaint cans with rocks, and catching snakes&nbsp;on the list of &quot;cool things that happened when I was a kid&quot;

[mikeyboy]

<strong>Hottub</strong> wrote:<br />but rather shitty low circulation magazines focusing on women with massive tits or on various fetishes. <p>Even as a child you were a porn snob. When we were kids, finding anything resembling porn in the woods was like finding lost treasure. Swank, Oui, and some British imports too. The big kids would keep it stashed in their forts. We would get in early, swipe the smut, and bring it back to our fort.</p><p>Don't get me wrong.&nbsp; That's just me looking back.&nbsp; At that age, any glimpse of female primary or secondary genitalia was the holy grail.&nbsp; When I was 12 and my family got cable, I convinced them to get The Movie Channel rather than HBO.&nbsp; My reason (although not the reason I put forward) was because The Movie Channel showed R rated movies at all hours of the day.&nbsp; My friends and I knew exactly how far into any R Rated movie airing there was a tit shot or a beav shot, and would tune in just in time.&nbsp; &quot;Quick.&nbsp; It's 1:32.&nbsp; Switch back to 'The Howling'&quot;</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p><strong><font size="1">Seriously, what was with porn in the woods?</font></strong> </p><p>and why were the leaves so sticky? i thought it was sap</p>

[Captain Rooster]

I was the one who left those wet mags at the trails in the woods.

[lleeder]

<strong>Captain Rooster</strong> wrote:<br />I was the one who left those wet mags at the trails in the woods. <p>Did you leave the dead hooker too?</p>

[cougarjake13]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong><font size="1">Seriously, what was with porn in the woods?</font></strong> <p>and why were the leaves so sticky? i thought it was sap</p><p>it was...</p><p>&nbsp;<strong><font size="3">S</font></strong>emen from <strong><font size="3">A</font></strong>nother <strong><font size="3">P</font></strong>erson</p>

[Andomray]

<strong>lleeder</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Captain Rooster</strong> wrote:<br />I was the one who left those wet mags at the trails in the woods. <p>Did you leave the dead hooker too?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>No, that was me...may my mother rest in peace.</p>